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Chapter 21 || Take Me Home

There are moments in your life that you'll never forget, the beautiful, the horrid, the utterly unique. All of these things have a purpose to make you into the person you are at this single, one moment in your life.

Fortunately for me the only totally horrid thing that I experienced was failing my grade twelve chem exam.

Most of my experiences were happy, there were the hard times, sure. But it was the strong family unit, the good friends, and every other little thing that helped me through those times.

I never really experienced anything bad until these past events occurred in my life.

I almost felt like I was the eye of a dartboard, and everyone had the greatest luck to hit right there, the small little dot in the middle of everything, me.

Maybe I was over exaggerating.

I mean compared to most I still had it pretty good.

At least I wasn't put into slavery or anything.

But I guess, when put into perspective, everyone thinks that their pain is worse than others, because no one really knows the pain that you are going through, so no one can truly know whose is worse than another.

Yikes, since when did I get so deep?

No but seriously. I don't know, I guess what has happened to me, to some might consider it minor when compared to someone else's experiences.

I guess what I am trying to say is that what happened with Noah had a big impact on me, not because it was one of the worst things to ever happen in this world, but it was one of the worst things that has happened with me. And that can resonate with someone

Noah didn't rape me, but it was leading there, and it could have happened.

Every part of this weird relationship that we had going on I was always able to have some control in some aspect of it. I kind of knew that I was always able to really stop those moments from happening if I really meant to.

But that moment; yesterday in the car. There was no control, i wasn't able to stop anything from happening. I was powerless.

Being powerless is probably the most terrifying thing in the world. Because you know that everything is up to someone else, and if that someone else is a monster, you are doomed.

I was sitting in the same bed that I was in just a few weeks prior.

Sitting and waiting.

Waiting for something.

Sitting and waiting.

Waiting for nothing.

Because that is what my life has dwindled to, nothing. As much as I had put up a barrier in my mind, and a big rich facade that things weren't going to be as awful as they were, well there was a moment when you had to break down those things and face the facts.

Because I had been lying to myself.

As much as I was negative, going on about death and all, I had been distracting myself, thinking of mundane things that could still connect me to my past life. Because right now, I don't have ties to them. They are all gone.

The truth of the situation was; Stiles wasn't going to be riding up in his beat up jeep. Stefan Salvatore wasn't going to save the day, and Captain Hook wasn't going to sweep me off my feet.

They were all just figments in my mind that connected me back to my life.

My life was truly and utterly bleak.

Because nothing of it remained.

Noah walked into the room, I stared blankly at him.

Clenching his jaw he walked across the room in strides. Grabbing the chair by a desk and pulling it over to the side of the bed, setting it down and sitting down, resting his elbows on his knees.

Pursing his lips, "What do you want to know?" he asked simply, in a deep voice, reverberating into my soul.

"Everything, just tell me everything," i said, lying down on my side, away from him.

"Are you su-"

"Just get to the point, Noah. I'm sick and tired of you dancing around the subject." I said, interrupting him.

"I'm a werewolf."

"I got that," I replied, snarkily.

"You're my mate."

I stayed silent, waiting for him to continue.

"Soul mate to be exact." he said letting out a sigh.

"You know you don't have to pause in between every three words you say." I started with sarcasm dripping from my voice.

He probably rolled his eyes.

"You're basically my other half, I am not complete without you."

"That's obtuse." I commented.

"How is that insensitive?" he asked.

"People need to discover who they really are on their on. How are you supposed to do that if you're not complete till you have that person, then everything about yourself relies on the idea that they are always going to be there. It's just stupid, to have to have another person to be able to be complete, you should be able to do that on your own. I would like to do that on my own." I said, my back still facing him.

I heard him shift in his chair till I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't touch me," i growled out at him. He quickly retracted his hand.

"Sarah..."

"What? Can you, like not get words out your mouth? Is your brain really that slow?" I said with a bite to my voice.

"I-I can't let you go back." I heard him say, he almost sounded sad about that.

"You going to tell me anything else?" I asked ignoring his earlier statement.

"You being my mate makes me more protective over you-" I rolled my eyes "-but it also makes it harder for me to control myself around you. It should have had some affect on you, but apparently not. When I am around you... in uhh, an intimate way, my wolf senses start to take over, everything is heightened tenths over, making it very hard to stop."

"If this is your lame way of excusing what you did?" I asked.

I heard a loud sigh resound behind me, "Look Sarah, I'm sorry for what I did, I was just... lost, it didn't even registered what I was doing to you." He said, guilt laced within his voice.

I sat up from my position on the bed, turning to him with a glare.

"How can you excuse it as something you just didn't register? I was freaking begging for you to stop, yet somehow you didn't register it? I struggled, I told you to stop, I did everything possible to try and stop you from going further." I said tears starting to trickle down my face.

"I stopped though. Sarah, I stopped." he said, giving me an equally sorrowful look.

"It doesn't matter, any trust I had in you before is gone, Noah. And it isn't coming back." I said in a firm voice, tears still streaming down my face.

“Sarah… I love you, please…” He trailed off.

"If you really loved me you’d take me home.”

|| AUTHORS NOTE ||

To be honest I was really depressed while writing this chapter... I just finsihed the 2nd seaseon of TVD and was bawling my eyes out... plus I felt like something like what happened to Sarah would be a real eye opener to the situtation she was in, and might change her way of thinking a little bit.... so yeah, sorry about this depressing chapter.

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