"You've reached Detective Quinn Stone. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."

I end the call before the beep sounds, not wanting to leave a message. I just want to talk to her.

I snuggle up beneath my blanket, trying to find some kind of comfort. But I can't find any. I've been trying for hours, with no results. I tossed and turned all night. I couldn't sleep at all. I even tried cleaning the apartment out of boredom.

No one else came home last night. No Tyler, no Owen, and no Lena. I called her, but she was so happy with Steph that I let her go. She must've spent the night at her dorm, because I haven't seen her.

I just want to go home. Back to Greenbay with Quinn, Stacey, and my mother.

The last person I want to be with right now is my father.

He'd make everything much worse. He'd make some kind of snide remark, or an insensitive joke that wouldn't help at all. Just his presence would annoy me. He doesn't understand relationships.

I turn over, cosying up against my pillow. But I'm forced to pull away. It's still wet from my latest crying session.

My tears have come and gone all night. At some point, I thought I'd run out, but they came back twice as strong half an hour later. My head is still pounding from all the crying I've done. The whole floor is covered in crumpled up tissues.

I grab my phone once more, deciding to try to call my sister one more time. But I don't have to. Before I can even press on her contact name, she calls me.

"Quinn?" I sniffle, my voice breaking.

"Yeah, what's up?" she asks. "Are you okay?"

"No," I shake my head. "I need you to come over."

"Why? What's going on?"

"I did something bad."

"What happened?"

I can't tell her about Tyler. She doesn't even want me around him, let alone dating him. She can't know about Christian either. So, I make up a story.

"I've been seeing Owen," I lie.

"Lena's brother?"

"Uh-hmm," I nod.

"Did he hurt you?"

"No, no. I- I messed up."

"What happened?"

"I accused him of doing something I know he wouldn't do, and now he's mad at me."

"What was it?"

"Someone said he was lying to me. I didn't know what to believe, so I just yelled at him."

"Sarah...," she sighs.

"I feel so stupid!" I cry. "I don't know what I was thinking! I was just so confused, I didn't know what to do!"

"Did you panic?"

"No, no, he calmed me down. But then he got mad because I... I," my breath stifles. "I didn't trust him."

"Oh, Sarah," she coos. "He's hurt."

"I never should've yelled at him! I shouldn't have gotten angry!"

"But that's a normal response."

"I should've just asked him about it like a normal person!"

"But you aren't a normal person," she tells me. "You're mentally ill."

"But I'm sick of it!"

"What did your therapist call it again? Your anger outbursts?"

"Self-sabotage," I tell her.

I've been dealing with it since the accident happened. It's why I get so furious sometimes. I just... don't know how to deal with my emotions, and I explode. I ruin my relationship and friendships just as a way to cope with my fear. My constant fear that the ones I love will leave me, just like my parents did. It's the reason I'm still mad at my father, and still, avoid my grandparents.

"You have some problems he can't hold against you," Quinn says.

"But he can! He's right! I should've trusted him!"

"It's not that simple. It's not all your fault."

"You don't understand!" I accuse. "I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I did it anyway!"

"Sarah-"

"I just wanted the pain to go away!"

"And you coped with it the only way you know how," she says. "You got angry, and sabotaged the relationship."

"I'm so stupid!"

"No! You made a mistake. A mistake that you can fix!"

"I can't, I can't," I shake my head. "He's so mad at me!"

"I understand that he is, and you probably would be too if the roles were reversed. It hurts to have someone you care about accuse you of something you didn't do. It feels like a betrayal."

"But I didn't mean it like that!"

"And he'll understand that. He just needs to realise it, process it, and heal."

"I don't know," I sniffle.

"I do, okay? Trust me. Everything will work itself out."

"I hope so."

"It will. He just needs time."

"How much? Because I don't want to feel like this anymore!"

"I know, sis, I know," she assures me. "But Owen's a good kid. He'll come around."

But Owen isn't Tyler.

"Can you come visit?" I ask her.

"I- I-," she groans. "I wish I could, but this job is 24/7. I barely have time on the weekends."

"What about Stacey?"

"She's visiting her parents this week."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry. You know I'd be there if I could."

"Yeah," I breathe. "I get it."

"But everything's going to be alright, okay? I promise you."

"Yeah, I hope so."

"And Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and so is the Christmas break. You'll come visit, right?"

"I think so. I haven't really thought about it yet."

"Well, I have both holidays off so if you don't come here, I'll come to you."

"Alright," I nod. "I'd like that."

"Good. Now get out of bed and don't worry about it anymore. Just give it time."

She knows damn well I won't stop worrying about it.

"I'll try."

"Go play piano, or do some makeup, or whatever it is that makes you happy."

"I will."

But I won't. I don't even want to get out of bed.

"I love you, and you call me if you need me, yeah?"

"Will do," I nod. "I'll see you later."

"Bye, sis!"

"Bye, bye."

I end the call, dropping my phone on the mattress beside my head.

I wish I could take it all back. Everything. I wish I'd skipped class yesterday so I never would've run into Christian. It ruined everything. He ruined everything, and I let him. I hate him. I hate him so much.

By the time I came home last night, I was a complete wreck. My makeup was smudged, and my hair was all over the place. I cried on the bus home. People kept staring at me, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't be bothered calling a cab, and I definitely didn't want to use Tyler's money to do so. I dumped his cash on the kitchen counter, grabbed a bottle of strawberry milk, and went right to bed.

Just as my eyes begin to fall shut, my phone rings once more. I answer it right away, expecting it to be Quinn, but it isn't.

"What the fuck did you do?" Owen exclaims, yelling at me through the phone.

"What?" I scowl, surprised y his words.

"Tyler's been arrested!"

"What?" I shoot up, throwing my blanket on the floor.

"He's been here all night!"

"Where?"

"At the police station!"

"What happened?!" I jump up.

"He was fucking fuming! Drunk off his face."

"What did he do?"

"He got in a fight with Christian."

"I'm coming," I slide into my converse.

"No, don't!"

"Why not?"

"He doesn't want you here. He didn't even want me to call you!"

"I'm on my way!"

"Sarah!"

I hang up, throwing a jacket on. I run out of the apartment, sprinting down the staircase and onto the street.