Weeks passed quickly as well as slowly.
It was a little over a month now since we are married.

Our conversations were limited, only once in days I would ask him a question and he would give a short reply to it. That's it.

I still made breakfast and dinner every day but he did nothing but just glance at them.

I met with Adrian every other day, when he visits me in the cafe and I even introduced him to Atlas and they both have become quite acquainted with each other.

I worked five days a week, I wanted to work on the weekends too but I couldn't since Sorin usually is at the house only doing his work and I don't want him to question my absence. Not that he cares anyway.

One thing I observed was that he doesn't come back on Friday and Saturday nights, which was quite obvious that he spends those nights with Harlow. His girlfriend.

And I am left wondering each and every night that how wonderful it must feel to spend a night with someone you love, cuddling with them, watching movies, kissing and making love.

Once again that emptiness inside me hit me hard, once again I craved affection and love.

Standing under the warm shower, I hugged myself tightly, the tears mixing with water, streaming down my face.

What if I just fill up the bathtub and put my head under the water for some minutes, then I will be free from everything.

I turned off the shower and walking over to the bathtub, turned on its taps and I gazed into the tub as water quickly started to fill it up. It was the end to my misery.

When it filled the tub to almost its brim, I turned off the taps and just took a glimpse of a pathetic face reflecting on its surface.

I am tired. From everything.

And with that, I put my face under the water, the uncomfortable feeling of not being able to breathe properly promptly flooded through me.

My mind was empty, my soul was empty. I was numb, I didn't feel anything.

The only thought to cross my mind was Sorin.

You won't be able to see him ever again. Or be near him. See him smile.

But atleast he would be happier. Everyone will be happy, a burden would be lifted off their shoulders.

Sorin. Think about him.

Just a minute or two more and everything will be over.

Sorin.

He would marry Harlow and be happy. That's all I want.

Sorin! At least tell him what you truly feel about him before dying. Sorin! What happened to him being the reason for our existence.

He doesn't care.

And then there was a flicker of hope.

Maybe he will one day.

And I pulled back my head, gasping loudly clutching my throat and I fell down on the floor and curled my body, taking huge gulps of air.

It hurts. It hurts. Everything hurts. Someone please stop it. Please. Someone. Save me.

There was a loud knock on the door. "Are you done?"

Sorin. More tears fell on hearing his voice. What was I even doing? Killing myself? And denying myself another chance to see him, to hear his voice?

I bit the back of my palm to stop the sound of my sobbing from escaping the bathroom.

Another knock. "Hello? Are you in there?" He then cleared his throat. "Are you...okay...? Did you fall or something?"

And if possible I cried harder at that.

"If you don't open the door or reply to me, I am coming in, in twenty seconds."

Gradually my sobs subsided and I removed my palm from my mouth seeing the deep marks of my teeth over it.

He continued counting. "Five...four...three...two--"

I hastily wiped away my tears and cleared my throat yet my voice cracked. "I-I...am...o-kay..." Definitely not.

I splashed some cold water on my face and wore my sleeping suit, consisting of a cotton pyjamas and a shirt.

Drying my hair with the towel, I put my hair in the front so that it would hide my face.

When I opened the bathroom door, Sorin was pacing around the room scrolling through his phone.

His head shot up to me and lowering my eyes I went towards the bed but he came to a halt right in front of me.

"Look up", he said softly.

Gulping, I slowly lifted my head but refused to make eye contact with him. He scrutinized my face, his brows furrowing.

From the corner of my eyes I saw him lifting his hand, as if he was about to touch my face but before his fingers could brush against my cheeks, he suddenly clenched them into a fist and placed his hand at his side and moving past me, went inside the bathroom.

It was then I realised that it was a Saturday night and he usually is not here on these nights.

Maybe Harlow is busy.

But I didn't feel like pondering about them at the moment. I didn't feel like pondering about anything.

I was feeling numb for which I was grateful so before this numbness could be washed away, I slid under the covers and closing my eyes drifted off to a restless sleep.

.

I was hoping to wake up to Sorin's face once again but I didn't because when I woke up, he wasn't there. I checked the time and realised it was almost noon. What the hell? How did I sleep till so late? And he didn't even bother to wake me up.

After getting ready, I dashed down only to find the house empty. Huh? Did he leave somewhere?

Maybe he went on a date with Harlow, after all it's Sunday today.

But then I heard sounds of laughter coming from the garden. Is he having some guests for lunch?

With a lots of questions running through my mind, I walked to backdoor leading the garden. It was a sliding, glass door so I looked through it and sight infront of me warmed my heart.

Sorin sat sideways, on the ground with his legs crossed, a pair of spectacles over his eyes, a book in his hands and a heartwarming smile on his face.

Infront of him sat around 7-10 children who looked less than ten years old and they all listened attentively as Sorin read the book to them.

And next to them was a medium size blackboard on a wooden stand. 'English Literature' was written on it in bold letters.

He was teaching them.

And then I noticed a pair of twins among them, a boy and a girl, the same twins I saw on the day when I first saw Sorin.

He was teaching the poor kids. But they all looked to be in a lot better condition since all their clothes looked completely clean and their hair combed in a tidy way. It looked as if he bought them clothes too.

I don't know for how long I stood there, just watching them. It was a beautiful sight. He was being so sweet towards them, a smile was constantly etched on his face. And he patiently answered them if anyone had a doubt.

I think I fell in love with him all over again.

Too lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice that one of the kid's eyes fell on me staring at them like a creep. And he pointed towards me telling Sorin about it.

Sorin followed that child's gaze and glanced at me.

Why do I always find myself in such embarrassing situations?

Don't know whether to just stand there like a statue or run...I decided to keep standing there.

I noticed that gradually the smile faded off his face and removing his spectacles, he kept them aside. And now all the children were staring at me curiously.

So I slowly raised my hand and in the most awkward way, waved at them.

Sorin was quick to turn away his face but I could still see him clearly as he bit his lips as if trying to stifle his laugh, amusement dancing in his eyes.

Is he... laughing at me?

But at least he did me a favor by diverting their attention from me by saying something to them and a smile broke out on everyone's face and they all shouted together. "YES!"

And they all got up along with Sorin and started to follow him inside.

I stepped aside and a moment later Sorin slid open the door and walked in with all of them behind him. One of the girl was walking beside me and she whispered to him (which was quite loud), while pointing at me. "She's your wife?!" She sounded extremely surprised.

That made Sorin pause and his cheeks flushed slightly and he quickly grabbed her hand and gently placed it down.

"Why don't you all watch TV while I make pizza, huh?" He told them.

"Okay!" They all said in unison. And they all ran away from there. It seemed they knew their way around the house.

I stood there awkwardly. Sorin cleared his throat, glanced at me for a second before leaving too.

I waited there for a minute before going after him.

Chapter completion on: 29/4/22
Published on: 12/5/22