How many times did I dream of this moment, how many times did I play it over and over again in my mind...

Me walking down the aisle and the man I love, standing at the altar, waiting for me.

Everything was same, almost everything except for my future husband who was staring at me with coldness in his eyes. It made my heart ache and tears welled up once again in my eyes. I was quick to blink them away before they cause any drama.

The wedding ceremony passed in a blur and I dreaded going back to his house, to be there all alone with him. He clearly didn't like me, not that I expect him to.

During the car ride back to his house he sat as far he could from me in the backseat gazing out of the window in complete silence.

I wanted to talk to him, a normal conversation but I didn't want to annoy him so I kept my mouth shut but I couldn't help but look at him, the side of his face as his head was turned towards the window probably to avoid looking at me.

But that didn't stop me from staring at him like a creep. After all, I was in love with him and he was a beautiful man with a beautiful heart but not for me.

"Quit staring. It's irritating." His voice was cold and hard as he spoke, just for a split second he glanced at me before he started to stare out of the window again.

"Sorry." I mumbled and promptly averted my gaze not wanting to trouble him further.

The car soon halted at a huge and gorgeous house, like the ones we dream of. Exactly like those but it didn't matter to me as it was just another house to me, not a home that I have been searching all these years. This was like a prison to me.

I was the first one to step out of the car and he stepped out next and I followed him silently as he walked to the house, his hands in his pockets and his shoulders tensed.

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Earlier he had shown me to 'our' bedroom. I was surprised by that and seeing that expression on my face he was quick to explain. "My parents made sure to get all the other rooms locked so that we both sleep in the same room." He looked exasperated by that and subtly rolled his eyes, not even bothering to give me a glance.

Presently, I was in the bathroom wiping away my makeup and changing my dress into a pair of comfortable pyjamas and a t shirt.

I took a deep breath before stepping out of the bathroom. Standing shirtless and with only a pair of grey sweatpants, stood my husband in the middle of the room. Even though I have seen his shirtless pictures once or twice but looking at him in real was completely different. His taut muscles, six packs, broad shoulders, veiny forearms, all of it made my throat dry up and a blush crawled up my neck.

I was snapped out of this trance when I heard him whisper something and I was surprised that he was even saying something to me but that surprise was soon replaced with the realisation that he was not talking to me but was rather on an intense call.

Embarrassment flooded through me and at the same time his eyes narrowed down at me realising I was staring at him once again and I lowered my gaze.

He exchanged a few more hushed words over the call before hanging up.

"You will be sleeping on the couch." He sounded authorative and kinda scary as he pointed to the couch in the corner of the room.

"Okay." I muttered not wanting to question him and making him angry. I noticed that there was already a pillow and a duvet on the couch and I made my way towards it.

"Wait", he said all of a sudden making me halt and exhaled loudly when I turned to face him. He seemed to be ruminating, his thumb and index finger pinching the middle of his forehead.

"Never mind." He sighed and turned his back to me.

Um...okay...

I resumed my walk to the couch and sat down on it gently, leaning my back, my body relaxing.

"No, wait." His voice startled me and glanced at him, he looked baffled as if not able to do decide what to do. He was biting his lower lip which was quite sexy.

"Yes?"

He cleared his throat, his baffled expression was gradually replaced by his cold features. "We can share the bed. If you are comfortable."

My eyes went over to the large bed, large enough for us both but sharing a bed with him sounded scary. I've never shared a bed with anyone else before.

But the couch didn't look comfortable enough to sleep on...

"Um..." It wasn't easy to make eye contact with him so I lowered my eyes once again. "Are you...okay...with it?"

"Yes." His answer, short and sharp.

Nodding, I got up and went to the bed as he laid down on his side and slowly and nervously, I laid down on my side, making I was as far from him as possible with my back towards him because I didn't want to give him any trouble.

I hope I don't end up kicking him in my sleep.

Oh My God...what if I accidentally shove him off the bed? I'll be so dead then.

And then I heard him shuffling and I looked over my shoulder and saw him placing some extra pillows between us creating a pillow.

He saw me looking and said, "I hope you don't move and kick in your sleep."

That made my cheeks flame with embarrassment. I don't even know that myself. But I shook my head quickly and looked away.

God save me.

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A loud groan woke me up, my eyes snapped open and I searched for the source of the groan. My eyes roamed the room before landing on the man sleeping beside, well he was awake right now.

Because while I was sleeping, I had swung my leg over the pillow wall and kicked him in the side of his chest. And now he was glaring at me, his jaw clenched.

My eyes widened as soon as my sleepy brain could register what actually had happened and my hand flew to my mouth as I covered it with my palm.

"I am so sorry!" I squeaked against my plam, my voice coming out as muffled.

He continued glaring at me as I still didn't have remove my leg so he gripped my leg firmly and shoved it towards me and got up.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it." I apologised again.

Ignoring me, he started to walk to the bathroom and I realised that it was morning already.

"I'm sorry. " I apologised once again. "Please...does it hurt a lot?"

For the last time, I decided to check my luck. "Sorin?" It felt weird saying his name.

And that's when he snapped and took a few steps closer to me. "Stop acting like a caring wife! And you don't have the permission to call me by my name."

I flinched at his tone but I had to ask, "Then...w-what should I call you?"

"Nothing." He gritted his teeth. "Not that we are going to have a lot of conversations." And with that he walked inside the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

And a tear rolled down my eye.

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Since the bathroom was occupied, I decided to make us some breakfast hoping he would like it.

By the time I was about to be finished, I heard the bedroom being open upstairs and a moment later, he walked downstairs dressed in his navy blue work suit looking beautiful as ever.

His jaw was clenched as he walked past the kitchen, strapping his wrist watch to his left wrist.

When he didn't even bother to glance towards the kitchen I gathered some courage and somehow spoke up, "Um...br-breakfast..."

My words only made him pause for a second, his eyes fixed down and just like that he walked to the front door and went out, slamming the door shut making me flinch.

I gave a gloomy glance over to the breakfast I made with so much effort.

Not wanting to waste it, I sat down at the table and started to eat some of it half heartedly.

A lump once again forming in my throat remembering the amount of hatred swirling in his eyes for me this morning. I wonder how it feels when someone looks at you with warmth and love.

If only someone looked at me like that...just once.

A sob teared through me, my soul longing for some affection and love. Crying, begging, withering with pain hoping someone would come and ease me off it. Someone who would wrap their arms around me and stroke my hair gently. Someone who would tell me that somehow I matter to them. That I am not alone, that I am not a burden to them, that I can be loved.

Every soul craves love and affection and if you deprive it of it, it starts to wither away till the point you are left with nothing but an empty skeleton just waiting for death to sweep them away.

Cause at least death would be less painful from all this.

Chapter completion on: 8/4/22
Published on: 10/5/22