My first day at work was everything i thought it was gonna be, an employee showing me around the building, leading me to my little desk, i was excited. Excited and relieved to be distracted for the most part of the day.

Sure i had to run around and grab things for Edyth, like coffee... and other stuff. But i get to learn a lot on the field, she took me to photoshoots held for the magazine on my first day, yeah she did not cut me any slack. But i gotta say, it was a good first day, i'm officially a working woman.

Getting home however, it was dreadful. I haven't personally heard from Adam, i don't know how he's doing. All i heard is that he's in his suite, not seeing anyone, barely talking to anybody, just work and back. He's pushed me away completely. And the thought of not seeing him like i used to ache my heart, tearing me into fucking pieces.

I frequented Goodman's and the Greenhouse a lot more than the Kings' room. Going there was only going to hurt more, walking in with the hope of seeing him, just for him to avoid me completely felt as if i was being knocked down over and over.

He's got it into his head that being away from me would hurt less than us being together. Stupid. So fucking stupid.

"What the hell is this?" Liam pointed, the four of us back in Erika's closet. The girls have somehow convinced him to stay put in our little girl time sesh, much to his behest.

Unfortunately for Edward who'd most appreciate being here, was at work. "that's a belt" the Colbert heiress rolled her eyes, looking through her atelier dresses, scanning each hem and sleeve.

"Tell us about Sofia you little whore" Rhi teased, thwacking him in the back of the head playfully, "HEY" he protested loudly, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I MET HER, she's so nice" I cheered.

A small smile appeared on his face, shying away he pursed his lips, refusing to answer our prying questions. "So are you two official or what?"

"We're taking it slow" he sighed, embarrassed to answer us further, he cheeks turned soft pink, driving his fingers through his hair. He shuffled in his seat. "Boring" Her heels clicking on the floor, Rhiannon brushed her hair away from her shoulder.

"Are you sure you don't wanna stay over?" a concerned look washed over Erika's face, her eyes awaiting for my answer.

I nodded my head.

Erika thought it would be better for me if I didn't stay alone, holed up in the apartment by myself for a while, unlike Adam. But I didn't want to be a downer in this group, i already did that before, I just don't want to drag everyone down to my mess.

Finally concluding our little meet up inside Erika's closet, we bid goodbye for the day, "I just gotta get something In my office I'll be quick"

Rhi offered to drive me back home, but making a short detour towards the Aster building i was avoiding all this time was widening the pit in my stomach, maybe he's in the King building and not this. He keeps changing within the week so it's fine, it's all fine.

I could've stayed in the car, but being alone in the dark parking lot is just asking to be murdered. but i also could've stayed in the lobby but who am i trying to lie? I can't lie to myself, i wanted to see him. I wanted to talk to him.

Following Rhi up to the floor of the Kings' room, we parted ways, declaring to meet back here, she went over to her office which was further across the floor.

My heart was slamming against my chest, i shut my eyes tightly, willing away my aching heart once more. Taking a deep breath, i opened the door to the room.

nothing,

I exhaled deeply, the deep disappointment dawning over me, guess he's in the King building after all.

Sluggishly dragging my feet across the floor, i entered the room. The silence engulfing me, it's peaceful when no one's here, i felt a bittersweet sensation take over me as i scanned the room, trying to place all my memories in here with the gang, with him.

Tears formed on my waterline. Ugh fuck, not again.

"Antheia?" All i wanted to do was crash down, all my emotions flood over me like a waterfall. I swiftly turned to the voice that came from behind me.

There he stood, his hair slightly a mess,  a leather jacket and a white shirt, he's dressed different today. He was towering over me, his eyes following. He looked cold, distant. Even though he's in front me, i can't reach him.

"I-"

He jerked backwards, turning around to walk out the door.

"What- STOP"

I grabbed his arm, feeling myself pool into a puddle on the inside as i felt the warmth of his palm. My entire being yearning for him.

He sighed, hesitantly shifting to meet my helpless gaze. His chocolate brown eyes darkened, he scanned me. "Let go" his voice was cold, similar to his demeanor. I don't recognize him anymore and quite frankly i'm fucking sick of this.

"What are you doing? i'm trying to talk to you?" finding the strength to voice myself, my tone croaked, a lump in my throat forming, trying to hinder me from speaking.  

"There's nothing to talk about - i made it clear to you" he gently bumped past me towards the table in the middle of the room, his back turned to me once more, he scanned the files atop of the table. His broad back tense, trying to avoid me altogether.

"So we're done? that's it? just like that? all because of Rachel and you know the truth-"

"NO Antheia" his voice boomed, his gaze shot at me, leaning against the table. His eyes dug into mine, "You've seen it yourself,  you've said it yourself"

The coldness in his expression subside, a pained one glossing over, his voice softened. It's as if he's given up completely, "stop it, i don't want it like thi-"

"I'm not good for you"

"STOP" my tone vibrated within my throat, tears streaming down my face, my hair let lose, falling over my shoulder. I was too distracted i didn't even tie it up right.

"Look at what i've done, what i've put you through" he wasn't paying heed to my protests, my helpless pleading for him to listen.

"You deserve better - I'm not that person i- i tried" he sighed, his head slumping. Tightening his grip on the edge of the table it's as if he was gonna break it.

"Don't say that" i strided over, my hands up to reach him, i cupped his face. "Look at me" i pleaded, desperation washing over. I looked for his eyes. He was hesitant, attempting to yank backwards from my touch, "That's not true, you are the one for me you'll always be the one for me"

"Don't lie to yourself Antheia" maintained Adam, a stern glare within his eyes, his jaws clenched, the softness of his skin caress within my palms, he was just a few inches away from my face. "I make you fucking miserable, what happened that night happened because of me"

I violently shook my head, trying to correct him. But it was if he was stone, he was convinced otherwise, he just won't change his mind.

"I'm not letting that happen again" pulling away from my touch, he stood up, trying to move from the table he was leaning against, ready to walk away from me, away from this situation.

"Please don't" sniffling, i placed my hands on his chest, attempting my best with all my might to make him stay in his place. He sighed deeply, gently leaning backwards on the table once more, hesitantly stopping himself.

I know he's internally fighting the urge to hold me, i can see it in his eyes. He was hopeless, trying his best not to look me in the eye, and if he does, all would come crashing down, everything he made himself belief, his will to keep this going.

"Antheia..." he protested, his tone hushing. His gaze dragged up to lock with mine, all sense of his darkness and cold demeanor wash away, his eyes take all of me in, yearning.

"You know you can't do this, come home please" Uncontrollable bouts of tears rolled down my cheeks, fighting for him.

Jaws clenched, his fingers tentatively moved up to my cheeks, wavering before softly wiping away my tears.

He was trying his best not to touch me, in fact, too much. The same man that would always hold at least my pinky finger, my thigh or my waist no matter where we were, but now it was if he were a stranger before me, pulling away his fingers. He studied my gaze, "I love you" i whispered, my voice unable to escape through my lips.

It's as if he warmed up for a second, welcoming me through the brick walls he's built around him. But that was until his gaze fell atop my knuckles, his brows furrowing, the warmth familiarity he held for a second, instantly wash away.

"Fuck" he swore, his jaws clenched, he shook his head. It's as if he was internally battling, but ultimately loose.

I found myself merely an inch away from his face, enough to feel his soft breaths, the warmth of his large body engulf me, the familiarity of his presence feeling like a safe haven.

The strong grip of his hands found itself tightly placed on either side of my waist, his fingers digging deep. He doesn't want to do it, but he can't fight it anymore. His breathing ragged, "Don't make this hard for the both us"

"Come back Adam" my voice was breaking, i couldn't find it in myself to speak further.

"You don't know what you do to me" voice darkened, he breathed, pulling me closer into his body. His hand reaching to grab the side of my cheek, his soft lips landed on mine, the kiss deepening by the second.

Gently grabbing the back of my neck, he kissed me with extreme urgency, as if his life depended on it.

Teeth and tongue, he didn't want to let go. My heart was beating violently as his fingers dug deep into my waist while the other roamed all over my body. Wrapping my arms over his neck, he groaned against my lips, "Antheia we can't do this"

"Why - you don't-you don't want me-"

"Of course i fucking want you, you're all i want night and fucking day, you're all i think about" he swore in a frustrating tone, his eyes digging deep into me, he pulled me in to a deep kiss once more, both hands wrapped around my waist, i melted within his arms, his lips pulled at mine, biting my bottom lip, it's as if he was ravenous.

But he won in his internal battle, he fought back.

Hesitantly pulling away, his arms yanked backwards, shuffling away from the table, "I-no- i'm sorry we can't"

He hurriedly brushed past me, ignoring my protests, calling out for him. He walked out the door.

Leaving me disoriented, alone to my thoughts, shallow and despaired.