Dawn doesn't come quickly enough. I'm up before the sun, and to my surprise, I discover Annie is too when I go to my family's cabin. I let my parents sleep as her and I start building a little house out of twigs she collected. We've pretty much made a neighborhood by the time the sun starts to rise. She takes my hand and leads me to the broken window where we gaze at the sky.

"Are you leaving again?" She asks. Her voice isn't sad at all, which is unexpected.

"Yes, I wish I wasn't," I tell her. "I want to stay with you. And you've had enough family leaving you for a long time."

"It's alright," She beams up at me. "You always come back. Daddy, mommy, you...and Mary will too someday. It's how families work, you know. Maybe we say goodbye for a while sometimes, but we always come back together one day."

I hold her even when I can hear my mother packing, not letting go until there's a knock on the door. When I open it, Leah is grinning from ear to ear as she lifts her hand to my eyes. Dangling from her fingertips is a filthy pink ribbon.

"Lose something, princess?" Her laughter fills the room when I hug her.

I expect to say goodbye to Elliot for who knows how long, yet he ends up finding me first and insisting he changed his mind and will come with us. Saying goodbye to my family was as miserable as I expected, but I'm glad it's over. And it's easier knowing my mom is coming with me. I stick with her as we walk with the other rebels, who I am briefly introduced to.

Trina, the woman who pointed a spear at me when I left the Peterson base. Eric, a tall man with cobalt eyes that remind me of Molly. Regina, a woman whose long blonde hair somehow doesn't seem as disgusting as mine. Craig, a man who looks so much like Garret but lacks the toughness and charm. Harrison, a 20-something that likes to whistle softly as we walk. Bob, an older man who seems just as normal as his name suggests. Annie, a girl around my age whose fierce jade eyes and constant scowls prove she is nothing like my sister. Familiar faces Damien and Grace lead the way on a paved city road, while Rebecca hangs back with Leah and Kieran, keeping her distance from me.

It feels weird being so out in the open, but the roads must help Damien figure out where to go. He clutches Kira's tablet like a lifeline as he leads us. To pass the time, my mother and I share memories back and forth. The one Christmas where we shoveled snow off every driveway in our cul-de-sac, and we figured with five of us shoveling it wouldn't be so bad. By the time we were working on our driveway, we had started a snowball fight with each other. There was also the day Annie got a detention for shoving down a boy who had be mean to her friend. The Thanksgiving where my dad forgot the mashed potatoes and pecan pie he made at home. The day I ran into a glass door at the mall because I wasn't paying attention. The time mom baked brownies for Mary's birthday and used salt instead of sugar, yet we all pretended they weren't that bad.

I feel like I don't deserve to be sad, since I have most of my family whereas people like Elliot have no one left. Moments like these with my mother are something I should cherish. Even if they seem miniscule and ordinary. We're in a war now, and at any moment I could lose her forever. Just the thought alone makes me sick. I take her hand in mine, and when she smiles at me it's so full of love that I tighten my grip. Again, my mind always tells me that as long as their hand is in mine, they will never leave me.

Memories of Tyler hit faster and harder than they ever have before. I can see the guarded, calculated look in his eyes when he saw me for the first time in the Divide. Hear his scream when darthra fangs sunk into his flesh. Feel his anger, his determination, his fear, his sadness. The need to have my father back, and to have Mary back, was a force that pulled me forward relentlessly. But Tyler's absence is different. It's an ache, as though I'm missing something but I don't know what it is.

I refuse to let the emotions take over, so I analyze. Whoever this Kofali ally is, they may be my chance at getting onto the mothership. I can't rely on anyone else to get back the ones close to me. And if I get on the ship, I will feel in control. I'll feel like I'm doing something. All I want so desperately is to keep them safe, and maybe trying will be enough to give me some relief.

When we stop for lunch, I'm reminded how little we had at the outsider camp. Stale crackers get passed around, as well as some blackberries. Kieran and Leah go off to hunt with Trina and Harrison, but I stay back. When they return, a measly few squirrels and rabbits are cooked over a fire that Craig starts. Conversations are hushed, and everyone seems to stick with who they know best. Elliot gives himself some distance and takes a nap. My mother and I seemed to have talked ourselves out, but once we finish our portions, she reveals something that makes me grin. She has a gun.

I remember right when the invasion started that my father gave her one to protect us. We'd never been gun enthusiasts, but I knew she had spent a decent amount of time at the shooting range to get acclimated with it. I felt safe with her then, but I'm not sure if her skill is enough. Even I could use some more practice myself. I tell her that after dinner and before we rest, we would go out to practice.

Dinner comes quickly enough as the walk continues to be uneventful. This time we go with the hunters, but stray a bit to practice our shooting. Trina and Leah do a quick sweep of the area to make sure no one is around before determining we are free to shoot. It's nice getting away from the roads and delving into the woods. I find myself getting calmer, and even as I hold my gun and the horrible memories barrage me again, it's not so bad. I tighten the ribbon in my hair and focus my gaze on my mother, gripping the gun until my mind clears.

"Do we have enough bullets?" She asks me.

"Yeah, Cole and Kira kept sneaking some to us. The Kofali take everything from people they capture and keep the weapons in storage to be melted down into more Kofali guns. Cole would sneak in and collect all the bullets before that process." I explain as I carve a target into a tree with my knife.

"Smart boy," She comments, carving her own target on another tree. "I'm surprised how much he's willing to help. That girl seems more reluctant, though. At least with outsiders."

"I think it takes her longer to come around. Part of me feels like she's doing this for him more than she's doing it for us."

"That wouldn't surprise me." My mother's voice gets quieter, and I know she's thinking about Mary. How she helped me escape and never once tried to escape herself. How her whole focus was on getting me out, even if she risked being punished. I take aim and fire before I can think about it too much.

After I take a few practice shots and feel satisfied, I coach my mother the way Tyler coached me. In a way, it comforts me more than saddens me, making me feel like he's by my side. When she starts doing well, we look for things to hunt. To no surprise, though, we don't manage to find a single animal. Our loud shots have scared them all off.

The rest of the days trickle by. Our food dwindles down. Hunting doesn't turn up much. We're running low on water. I mainly talk to my mother and Elliot to pass the time, but I can never remember what we've talked about at this point. Maybe we've been having the same conversations over and over. Regardless, my mind has been given a chance to go blank. The constant anxiety I had been feeling at the camp has yet to creep in, although I feel like I am walking on eggshells, waiting for it to strike back.

Day four passes, and according to Kira's tablet, we still have about a day to go until we reach the location of the bracelet. And the missing Kofali ally may not even be there, unless he's dead. On day five, people start complaining. The mission is pointless, we're wasting our time, our only purpose is to wait for the reinforcements to catch us so that they don't go to the camp. Not a single being, human or alien, is anywhere nearby.

Just as hopes start to dwindle, we get a call from Kira on the tablet. Razec went out on her own to search for the missing ally, named Ticon, as soon as she heard of his disappearance. She had been on the hunt for six days, like us, but had just sent out a distress signal. The second Kira says the signal was close to us, we hear it. The sound of vehicles coming up the road ahead of us.

We dash into the trees, taking cover before the vehicles can see us as they round the curve. It's two pickup trucks with roaring engines, their tires kicking up dirt. In the back of the last truck is a flash of red hair. Despite the blue eyes instead of violet, I recognize Razec. I can only guess that these are the people who captured Ticon, and they had some of their people hide out and wait for someone to find the tablet. Razec could swear she was human, and beg and plead till her voice gave out. But it wouldn't make a difference. She got caught in their trap.

Once the trucks pass, I immediately step out only to be yanked back by my mother.

"Wait," she whispers. "There could be more." We wait a few more minutes until we're sure the area is clear. Then we're back on the road again.

"That was Razec, one of the Kofali allies," I announce.

"The one we're after?" Trina asks.

"No, she must have gotten caught while looking for him." I answer.

"We'll follow her signal now. Kira said she's got a tracker bracelet too. Whoever took her will know to get rid of her tablet, but her bracelet will help us find her." Damien keeps his eyes trained on Kira's tablet as he taps the screen repeatedly.

"Let's go, then," I urge, feeling a tug in my chest. I want to help Razec since she helped us, but I also get the sense that if we don't hurry, we'll miss our chance to get this done.

"No," Trina speaks up. "There's no point." I look at her in disbelief, trying to make sense of her words. And then I understand. Our purpose was to find the alien ally so that the reinforcements would steer clear of the outsider camp. Now that Razec sent out a distress signal, the reinforcements will be speeding towards her. Which means they may find us.

My mother offers to explain when Damien starts to protest. Usually the first one to call off a mission the second it seems pointless, this one seems to have changed him. I start to wonder if Razec or one of the other allies helped him and Brianna when we tried to get on the mothership. I think of that night again, and see the way Alfie looked at me in desperation. The way Callie looked at me with hatred. The way Tyler looked at me with regret.

And as much as my heart always aches for Mary and hopes to find her alive, a part of me feels like I'm losing her forever. My memories of her are so tainted by death and destruction and fear. Even the happy memories are foggy. When I think of her face, it seems incomplete. I remember the color of her eyes and hair. I remember the sound of her laugh. But I can't grasp every detail of her smile, and what I think I remember seems incorrect.

I know right in that moment that I'm not going back to the outsider camp. Trying to get Razec has more than enough pros to tempt me. If I rescue her, I may be able to get her to find Mary and help my friends. Or get her to convince Cole and Kira to let me on the mothership. If I don't get her, the reinforcement ships may come and that may be one of my last chances at getting on the mothership.

"Interesting how this group of survivors still uses trucks. That combined with the fact that they've managed to snatch up two aliens kinda freaks me out." Harrison remarks, snapping me out of my planning.

"Why aren't cars and trucks used more often out here?" I wonder out-loud, attempting to appear casual as if my mother can read my mind. In my defense, sometimes it seems like she can.

"Well, when you drive around one of those obnoxiously loud things and waste gas, you might as well be screaming 'AMBUSH ME, AMBUSH ME'," Rebecca rolls her eyes at me. I dismiss her attitude, simply nodding in response.

"She's right," Kieran says as he comes up beside me. "Early on in the invasion, cars made you an easy target for all the ships in the air. Later on, people were killing each other for gas. It just got easier not to use them. We could hide out in places cars can't reach, and be out of sight from any ships."

"That's exactly why I hate walking out here in the open." Leah mutters, her eyes constantly scanning the trees and the sky. "Those reinforcement alien assassins...they got sent out two days ago. I feel like they'll find us any minute."

"I wonder who has Razor-whatever, though," Kieran starts. "Gas is pretty limited these days. Which is why I have a feeling whatever group took her is pretty big." I look at him and debate telling him and Leah what I plan to do. They could help, they're more than capable.

When the sun sets and we stop to eat our dinner, that's exactly what I do. I give them the option to join me, telling them to take first watch. Once the others are asleep, if they want to join me they can. I think of Elliot and his fear and pain as I watch my mother talk to him. His parents are dead, as far as we know. I could question if he's stable enough to come with me, but one could argue whether I myself am stable enough.

Night hits. Leah and Kieran take first watch. People drift off into sleep while I force my tired eyes to stay open. My mother's silhouette starts to rise and fall rhythmically as her breathing deepens, and I know I'm in the clear. The second Harrison and Annie are woken up to take watch, I stir and fake a yawn. With a whisper I pray my mother won't hear, I claim to need to use the bathroom. To my relief, Kieran and Leah offer to escort me.

I look down at my mother and feel my heart lurch. Can I really leave her? If I do, will I ever see her or my dad or little Annie again? I think of Annie and how she tries to stay strong by telling herself we will always come back to her. But if I don't do this, I'll live in regret. If I wake my mother, she will try to stop me and I'll give in. I walk and don't look back.

As I pass Elliot I pause, bending down to gently shake him awake. If I don't give my mother a choice, I can give him one. He's already awake, fully alert as I explain what I will do.

"Do you really plan on risking that? Getting caught and being brainwashed..." He doesn't look away from me, and I nod. He nods back, deep in thought. Even in the night, I can see his expression darken as the sadness clouds his eyes. "Maybe some things are worth forgetting."

Question for the chapter: SO SORRY FOR MAKING YOU ALL WAIT SO LONG! I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT! I am thinking of doing a contest when I hit 1,000 followers. Would any of you be interested in writing fanfiction for The Divide or drawing fan art or making a cover? If so let me know in the comments!

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