The leaves on the trees surrounding the outsider camp have already turned bright crimson. Daytime is finally cool and crisp instead of hot and humid. This is the type of weather I used to enjoy. I wish it would bring me some happiness, but instead, I've never felt emptier. Today is the day Tyler's memories are extracted. Just the thought has clawed out a hole in my heart that nothing seems to fill.

I spent hours watching him and Alfie through that tablet at night. My door would be shut, no light in my room, and everyone would assume I was asleep. The brightness of the screen would burn my eyes, but I could never look away. Not when they screamed as electricity surged through their body. Not when a tube was shoved down their throats when they refused to eat. Not even when I saw their sanity starting to break.

The Kofali were as cold and calculated as I should have expected. It was as if this was their favorite form of entertainment, not minding all the time and energy it took to torture like this. When Tyler and Alfie realized they could hear each other's screams, they tried calling out to each other. Isolation left them desperate for any type of contact. But the Kofali would made sure neither could hear the other. Only the screams.

I can't imagine just how horrible it was in those cells. Forbidden to die, because death was too easy. Forced to eat, forced to stay awake. The room would either be icy cold or unbearably hot. Blindingly bright or too dark to see a thing. You'd lose all perception of time. Unsure of when you last saw another face, let alone spoke to one. And sometimes, you would be given hope just to have it taken away.

When the boys stopped resisting and started eating, their meals got better and the water torture stopped. They would begin to think the worst was over, when suddenly the lights would go out. Water would flood the room. They were kept under for longer, and when the water drained and the electric shocks began, I could tell the voltage was stronger by their amplified cries of agony. They didn't get another meal for who knows how long. When they did, it was back to brown mush that they devoured like wild dogs.

To cope, Alfie started muttering to himself. I could never hear exactly what he was saying, but I caught what sounded like "Rebecca" a few times. Tyler took to drumming his hands on the hard, white floor. He would do this for hours as his head hung down in defeat. One day, he snapped, and that drumming turned into furious punches that started tearing up his hands. I was almost certain he would keep going even if his bones started to break, but a fully-armored Kofali guard stepped in and darted him unconscious.

Watching them was my own way of trying to cope with the guilt of them being there. Elliot called me crazy, but as much as it killed me to watch them, I knew I had to. I could share their pain, pretending like they could feel all the comfort I wanted to offer. Remind myself every day why the Kofali deserved to be destroyed. Seeing him get escorted out this morning, I could tell by the look on his face that he knew where he was going even before they told him. Eyes red. Lip trembling. After everything was explained to him, he finally spoke for the first time in weeks, his voice hoarse as he begged to keep one memory. Just one.

Whatever it was, I doubt they let him keep it.

In the days immediately after I woke up at the outsider camp, I desperately kept trying to get a group together to go out and rescue them. I had no plan, but I had to do something. No one else seemed to have any urgency. Everyone refused me, saying it was too dangerous. Or worse, that there was nothing I could do.

I probably yelled at everyone for a straight week. Insisting that they didn't care. Telling them that they wanted to lose the war. For a while, they stopped trying to calm me down and took to ignoring me. It was only when I made a threat of exposing this camp to the Kofali to force us all out that Damien tossed me in my room, barricaded the door, and took the tablet away. I quieted down long enough to get it back, much to Rebecca's vocal disapproval.

She didn't want to watch Alfie being tortured, and I didn't blame her. But she still had plenty of anger at me. It didn't help that I was acting like a brat. When I threw myself into training to keep my mind occupied, she insisted on being my opponent when it came to hand-to-hand combat. We had been opponents before, back at the Peterson base, but she was easier on me then. Happier, too. Now I would only see her smile when she landed a punch or a kick that made me grunt in pain. Outside of that, she never so much as even smirked.

I still chose hand-to-hand combat more than any other training. Bullets were running low. And while knife-throwing was great, as soon as I threw one at an enemy or darthra, I would be down one. If I only had one knife, then I would be left with no weapon. Hand-to-hand combat was also my weakest point, but I was getting better.

"Rachel?" I hear Elliot knock on my door, which surprises me. Since the night we came here, he has barely left his room. Every meal, I join him there to make sure he eats, and he makes sure I do too. He doesn't scold. Instead, he just looks at me like he's about to say something. But I make sure he doesn't have to say a word, shoving a spoonful of whatever stew Katherine and the others have concocted that day.

"What is it?" I ask as I open the door. He stands with his shoulders slumped forward, his eyes bloodshot.

"It's today, isn't it?" His voice is monotone. I nod, already knowing what he means. "I could hear him screaming."

"Sorry about that," I mutter, feeling my heart sink. If he could hear that, he surely heard every time I watched the boys on the tablet. I never realized the wall between us was so paper-thin. And yet he had never confronted me about it. Maybe, in his sleepless nights, it was a reminder for him as well. Of what we had to do.

"At least he won't be tortured anymore. And he'll forget all about it." Elliot's attempt at sounding positive is absolutely miserable.

Hugging him close to me, I notice Kieran walking out of his room with a crossbow in hand. The air in this cabin suddenly feels too heavy, and I'm itching for a change in routine.

"Going hunting?" I call out to him as I let go of Elliot.

"Yeah," Kieran stops at the front door, looking at us.

"Mind if I join? I could use some fresh air." I tell him, grabbing my bag. Now that I think about it, I'm desperate to leave the camp. Even though staying in here has allowed me to recover, it'll feel like the Reserve if I stay much longer.

"No problem. But I don't have an extra bow."

"That's okay," I turn to Elliot. "You should come." I tell him, but he just shakes his head. "It'll feel better outside."

"I'll play with the kids, then," He says so quietly I almost don't hear him, walking out before I can say anything else.

The kids here could use some entertainment. I'm not sure what they did before we got here, but Annie kept them occupied for days answering all their questions about life in the Reserve. She replied to every one without minding, happy to see them so eager to listen. And when she would go all out telling a story about something that happened in the Reserve, she could forget about missing Mary for a little bit.

But I know Elliot won't be as well-received. As we walk out, he goes over toward a group of children building a tower out of empty cans. All he does is sit next to them and watch. One observant girl invites him to join in only to see him decline, although I feel a little better when I see a hint of a smile on his face.

"Off to hunt?" Leah brings my gaze forward.

                "Yup," I reply.

                "You're welcome to take my bow." She offers.

                "No, thank you. I just want to watch, and I don't know how to use it anyway."

                "If you ever wanna learn, you know where to find me." She winks before striding off toward a guy I recently learned the name of, but can't seem to remember.

                "The rebel girl really is alive!" He calls out with a grin. I look away. It's true, barely any of the outsiders see me much. Too much time spent in my room. Pathetic, really.

                "I hate Oliver," Kieran mumbles, reminding me of the boy's name.

                "Why? Does she like him or something?" I say as I watch Oliver put his arm around Leah.

                "No, but he likes her."

                Both of us quiet down as we exit the camp. When we walk past the guards, I instinctively check my bag to make sure my gun is still there. The second my hand brushes across the metal, the memories I've been attempting to suppress pierce into my brain like a thousand needles. The outsiders I killed. The darthra that attacked me. Tyler's injuries. Every person that has died or that I watched die.

                "Rachel?" Kieran's voice snaps me violently back into the present. I realize that I've stopped walking, and my whole body is shaking. Digging my nails into my palms, I force myself back to reality.

                "I'm fine. Let's keep going." I insist, giving him a smile that feels deranged. He nods, but the concern doesn't fade from his face when he turns around. I find my hands traveling to my hair, and my fingers brush across the familiar pink ribbon tied in a bow. Despite being a gift from little Ava, the ribbon is one of the few things that reminds me of all the good in my life, even before the invasion. It reminds me of the person I was before, even if she seems so far away. But somehow, when I think of who I used to be, I'm reminded of how far I've come. The ribbon is comforting somehow.

About half an hour seems to pass before we see anything, and when we do, it's a tiny rabbit that Kieran shoots down with ease. A squirrel soon follows the same fate, but I start to worry. These small animals will barely feed just the starving children back at the camp.

                Suddenly, Kieran nudges me. He points ahead and I follow his gaze, my eyes resting on a deer grazing about 20 yards ahead. I feel myself grinning as hope spreads through me. This would definitely help those starving back at the camp. Crouching down so that the deer doesn't have any chance of seeing me, I hold my breath as Kieran takes aim.

                In an instant, my senses are heightened. I can hear every birdcall, every blade of tall grass or branch moving in the wind. I don't dare move a single muscle as Kieran slinks forward into a better position, his steps almost inaudible. As his fingers hover over the trigger of the crossbow, my own fingers clench in anticipation as I can feel my muscles tense.

                He fires and the arrow snaps forward, flying through the air. I close my eyes for a moment and hope with all my heart it strikes true. When I open them, the deer is still standing, head up and alert, seemingly frozen.  Only when it goes down do I finally exhale, a relieved chuckle slipping past my lips. Kieran's smile stretches from ear to ear as he marches forward to collect his prize.

                "Thank you for staying quiet," he turns back to face me.

                "No problem," I say.

                "Leah would have scared it off for sure. She's so damn noisy, even when she walks. I'm glad you're not like that." That gets a smile out of me, and I decide I want to do this as often as they'll let me.

                When we get closer to the deer, he keeps me back in case the deer is still alive. Apparently it is, because I hear him launch another arrow before telling me I can head over. Seeing the deer huffing out its last breath breaks my heart, and I kneel down beside it. I don't mind hunting. We need to eat to survive, and food continues to get scarce. But the deer is a harsh reminder at how much my life has changed, and how cruel the world continues to be.

                "I'm glad you're out," Kieran says to me as he watches the deer.

                "I am too," I reply.

                "You look better. Out here, anyway."

                "Thanks," I'm not sure what to say, and I avoid looking at him and the deer, gazing at the sky instead. All that does is cause me to practically have a heart-attack when he places a comforting hand on my shoulder.

                "I know these past few weeks have been hell. And I know people here took way too long to accept you. But good things are happening. I really feel like we're getting closer to stopping the war." His expression is determined as he takes his hand away. "Nobody here wanted to fight the Émigrés. Even I didn't for a long time. We all thought it was a losing battle, but having Émigré allies changes the game, and after hearing about how they helped you on that mission, everyone is slowly coming around."

I'm aware that Cole and Kira have come back to update us, but they'll only talk to Damien, Brianna, Katherine, and Patrick. I thought I was going to play a bigger part here. I thought we would have rescued the boys by now. But I guess I was just in dreamland.

                "It doesn't feel that way for me. I know I've been miserable, and I'm not helping." I sigh.

                "I think you're handling it the best that you can. Hell, if it were me, they'd have me locked up. Tempted to feed me to the alien dogs."

                "I want to do more, though," I'm realizing I don't really feel like a rebel anymore. As much as I didn't like running and fighting for my life, I'd grown accustomed to it. And now that things have slowed down for once, all the emotions I didn't have time to fully feel now bombard me every day. "I thought I would have done so much more by now, you know? That I would be so much stronger. I was angry, and it fueled me...I could feel it. I was ready to break down the wall, so to speak. But instead I fell apart."

                Kieran pauses a bit before he replies.

                "Sometimes you have to take a breather before you can break the wall down. By then, you'll be more than ready."

                "By then, it'll be too late." I scoff.

                "It's not too late. This war can still be won, and you can help win it." He looks so sincere that I find myself giving a small smile.

                "Okay, I'll try to be more useful. Starting now."

                "Well, let's start by bringing this deer back. You'll make a lot of people happy." His lips curve up into a small smile.

                "I didn't do anything. You're the one that hunted it." I help him lift it up, its scent filling my nose.

                "You helped bring it back," he says as we walk. "They'll be thrilled."

                We're nearly back at the camp when the memories come rushing to the surface again. This time, I have no clue what triggered it, but I stagger under the weight of the deer as I lose focus. Jacob. The sound of the laser. The feeling of his blood on my cheek and his body underneath me. A cold sweat takes over as I shut my eyes.

                "You alright?" Kieran calls back, lifting the deer up and holding onto more of it to take the weight off of me.

                "Yeah," I reply, forcing the memories aside once more and willing myself to keep going.

                "Rachel, I know I'm not your number one choice for a friend," He says without looking back at me. "But I'm here if you need me. Elliot and any of the others can talk to me, too. The war's affected all of us, so I have an idea what you feel and how to listen."

                "Thanks," I tell him. He doesn't say anything back, so I don't know if he heard me, but I find myself thinking of when I first met him and Leah. I thought she was crazy. A savage. And I thought he was a quiet, emotionless killer. It's somewhat comforting knowing they're not that bad. My kindness along with Garret's may be the reason for that, but at least kindness can still mean something these days.

                I'm not sure what kinds of welcome I expected when we reached the camp, but my mom shouting my full name was not one of them.

                "Where were you?" She demands as my dad takes the deer from me and helps Kieran get it inside.

                "Hunting," I reply, still not grasping the big deal.

                "Do you realize how worried your father and I were? We're already dealing with one missing child. Are you telling me you couldn't have at least told us you were leaving?"

                "Sorry," I mutter, staring at the grass. "I didn't think about it."

                "Rachel," She sighs, squeezing her eyes shut as if the sun is blinding. "We're all dealing with missing Mary in our own way. We're all coping with what we've been through. All I ask is that you please don't make things worse."

                "I promise I'll try," I look up at her, hoping that's enough. I don't want to see her upset, but I can't help but feel like she still views me as a child. I'm her baby, but I've also endured, lost, and killed. I had to grow up out in the Ruins, and she already thought I was grown up enough to enter them alone.

                "I know you care about your friends and would do anything to save them, but sometimes you need to realize what's going on right here. Right now. Your father and I are hanging on to the thinnest of threads. We're trying to be strong for you and Annie. I don't think you know how much she needs you." Her words only weigh my heart down more.

                "Okay, I'll be there for her," My voice still sounds dead.

                "And communicate with us," Her words are firm.

                "Yeah," I nod, thankful when I see Leah coming toward me.

                "Meeting. You're needed." That's all she says, nearly dragging me with her. I look back at my mother, as if inviting her to come with me, but she just shakes her head once. Her smile is sad when my father joins her and they talk to some other parents I don't know the names of.

                I walk into the familiar mess hall with the bloodstained floors, greeted by Katherine and Patrick. Behind them, the rest of the rebels are deep in discussion. Including Cole and Kira. When Cole turns toward me, his expression is grave as he speaks.

                "We have a problem."

Question for the chapter: Now that you are reading the sequel to The Divide, I'm curious: How did you find The Divide? Did you find it on the Wattpad Science Fiction page? Did a friend recommend it to you? Did you discover it on a reading list? Let me know!

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