7.5 Decision

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Naya's P.O.V.

A month flew by within a blink of an eye.

I wished Ocean and I made some progress in our relationship. No matter how small it was but that wasn't the case. Some days I felt that he was avoiding me, he'd come home to find me asleep on the sofa and carry me up to my bed. Some nights he'd be early and we'll have dinner together. But lately he's been gone a lot.

However, that wasn't my primary concern. My hallucinations were getting worse.

Sometimes I was seeing things twice or three times a day. I was able to speak to my mother about it. No way in hell I was going to tell her it was happening to me but we spoke for over an hour about mental illness.

She made me laugh when she hesitantly asked me if there was a problem with Ocean. It was me who had the problem but I shied away from the truth. Natural wolves were vulnerable to any kind of diseases just like humans. Supernatural creatures like us and others didn't fit into the natural category therefore we were immune to regular diseases. Mental illness however wasn't well documented among our ancestors so unfortunately she couldn't tell me much about it.

However, I told Macey about what was happening to me. We spent too much time together for her not to notice. At first she acted like nothing happened but after a couple of consecutive days she was deeply concerned. Finally, she asked two weeks ago. Explaining to her what I saw, presided as a challenging experienced.

But the worst one ever occurred one afternoon with Joshua there to witness it.

Rocky mountain surrounded us with yellow and green grass beneath our feet. I felt parched. Someone was holding my hand. Turning, I found Ocean looking at me with haunted eyes, chapped lips and blistered skin. His voice wasn't broken when he spoke.

"Naiya, we must rest." His voice was rich and dry. He pointed towards the shade created by the mountain. "Wait until nightfall. We can change and run and they won't be able to follow us." He spoke in a different language but I understood it perfectly.

"Orion, we must drink. I don't know for how long we'd be able to go on." I spoke his language, it rolled out of my tongue. I leaned into him feeling scared and exhausted. My limbs were ready to give out.

We sat down with our backs against the giant stony rock. He was clothed in garment that wrapped around our body. I had a long one piece covering me from neck down to toe. The view before us stretched out into vast expanse of land. Some were bone dry and some were working fields with donkeys. We were on higher ground because it gave us an advantage to spot any hunters.

We had no water or food but the rest helped us. It's been months since we've been on the run. Living off waste foods and water left out of animals. The thought brought tears to my eyes. I rested my head against his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry." He choked out. It wasn't his fault and neither was it mine. Wiping the tears away from my face I stood with a new-found determination from the spirits. I dragged him up with me.

An arrow went straight through my abdomen. I tried to push him away but he shielded me with his body. Another tore through him and dug itself into me. He jerked with every hit. Tears fell from his eyes and my heart burned but not from the silver in my body.

He held me in his arms, took the hit when we fell to the ground. Our senses deteriorated from the lack food and water. Even though the hunters were far away we should have been able to pick it up.

He took the brunt of the fall when our bodies collided with the ground. He still took care of me, even in death. Blood poured out of his mouth, tears slid over the bridge of his nose.

"I... I love you." Blood coughed out of my mouth. More silver penetrated us but I felt nothing.

Orion tried to smile, blood marred his lips. "I lov-" He coughed. I felt his agony. My heart squeezed because he was in pain. I put my hand on his bearded face. Willing for the hurt to leave his body. "I love you." The life slipped from his eyes with his last whispered words.

I ached from head to toe withering in pain. I wanted to die. The spirits had blessed me with a wonderful mate only to steal him away from me this brutally.

I screamed but a hand covered my mouth.

"NAYA, it's me for goddess sake." Macey's hot breath blasted in my ear.

"Is she okay now?" It was Joshua now, whose hand I'd been resting my head on.

"I think so wait." She sounded afraid. "You can't tell anyone about this. Okay? Promise me." I opened my eyes. The thick roots of a tree obscured my line of sight.

"I... I"

"PROMISE." She shouted at him, heaving. Her voice appeared tight.

"I promise." He sounded uncertain. I choked out when the lingering pain left my body. I've had dreams before where I was hurt but when I woke up it was always gone. Only this time I was wide awake and still felt the fire that spread from the silver tips of the arrow. A soft moan escaped my mouth. Remembering Oceans' dead eyes forced a sob out of my throat.

"Help me get her up."

So, they did and got me home safely. No one spoke until I was comfortably tucked in on the sofa, under the same quilt that I once spread over Ocean weeks ago. I wished it smelled like him but it smelled of me now. I wanted to shift into my wolf form because I felt safest in my fur skin. Macey linked Ocean asking him to come home at my request. I needed to see if he was alive.

I needed to see his eyes.

She told me that she accidently projected to Aaron and Ocean when we were being shot at but luckily she controlled her emotions this time. I needed to tell him the truth. According to them I was babbling incoherently. Unfortunately, I didn't understand the language I spoke in my hallucination but I knew the translation. When I explained it to Macey, she seemed as dumbfounded as I did.

I recognised Ocean's footsteps from miles away, relieved that my senses were intact. I didn't want to dump my problems on to him but I had to before it grew out of control and it happened in front of his eyes.

He came bursting through the door wearing only shorts and a thin vest. I sat up, allowing my hair to brush against the seat. Without giving me the time to get up, he kneeled before me. This was the closest we have ever come to each other within a month. He palmed my face immediately and the concern on his face tugged at my heart.

"Are you okay? What happened?" We were nearly at eye level. His tenderness brought tears to my eyes, alarming him. Aaron was there near the door looking shocked. Macey dragged Josh with her, pushing Aaron out in the process and closed the door behind her.

The dam broke when I looked into his wide eyes. I cried out, sobbing loudly as he took me in his arms, his desperate heart thumped against my cheek. He sat next me on the sofa, draped my legs over his lap. He frantically ran his hands all over my body trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

"Please, tell me. If it's me I apologise. Just stop crying, please." He pleaded. An alpha never pleaded. It gave me hope that we'd be alright after I told him about me. But I was greedy for his touch, soaking it all in.

It took some time for my dry heaving to stop and when it did I stood on shaky legs, moving away from him, I stared outside the window. The snow had disappeared long time ago. Sometimes it made an appearance but only at night.

"Naya, please tell me what's wrong. You're freaking me out." He put his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sick" I blurted out. There was no need to beet around the bushes.

"What?" He seemed relieved but confused. The glass reflected him perfectly.

I licked my dry lips before continuing. "I'm seeing things." I tried to explain. "I've been having these hallucinations and today I saw you die. Ocean I don't know what to do. It's scaring me." A lump formed in my throat. "We were in this dry land, with stony mountains and fields." Tears sprang to my eyes. "I spoke to my mother vaguely... I didn't tell her it was me. I don't think she knows anything about mental illness and wolves."

I faced him slowly. He stared at the ground with his hands fisted by his sides.

"At first it was vivid dreams about you and me." I thought of him as an artist. "I don't know how to explain it. Sometimes it just occurs out of the blue or when I'm most anxious. Today we were coming back from the lake and I just collapsed on the ground. Apparently, babbling incoherently." I rubbed my face with hands, sitting down on the arm chair by the bookshelves next to the window.

"I don't know what to do. It's just getting worse. I..." I sob broke out. "I'm scared Ocean." He visibly flinched when I said his name. He mechanically moved towards the sofa that I was on previously and sat down. He was in shock. I could tell by the way he was running his hand over is mouth constantly. I couldn't get a grip on my emotions. Too much had happened too fast.

"What should I do?" I asked getting up to move closer to him. I needed the comfort he provided minutes ago.

Instead he stood and stepped back.

My stomach churned. I wanted to throw up. Why?

"Ocean...?" I reached out for him. Tears sprang from my eyes and deep down I knew this was it. My worries came true. I hated crying but I just couldn't stop. He was backing away from me like I was contagious.

"Ocean I don't think it's contagious..." I tried to explain. I've had this for a long time and no one around me got sick. I was utterly terrified.

"Maybe you should talk to the pack doctor and see what she says." I was stunned by his callousness.

"I planned to..."

"I'll stay at the Quarters for a while." He didn't dare to look at me. He looked past my head but never in my eyes. The hurt burned with fire. Anger blurred my vision. He was treating me like a diseased rodent.

"Are you fucking KIDDING ME?" I screamed. "I told you I'm SICK and this is how you treat me? What kind of mate ARE YOU?"

My fire touched him.

"A Mate who is also an Alpha and a whole pack who depends on him." His voice sounded strained. He appeared conflicted.

My throat clogged up and I hated him in that moment. He was my mate and I was falling in love with him. His actions towards me felt like a sacred bond was being broken. "Maybe you can speak to your mother about it... see what she says."

"Go." My voice was steady. "I'll figure it out myself."

He hesitated.

"GO." I screamed at the top of my lungs. I use my Alpha command but it obviously didn't work on him but he felt the power. He always chose his pack over me. A part of me understood and used to admire it. "I wonder if you would have treated me this badly is I was a member of your pack Ocean." My mouth quivered, making it difficult to speak properly but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he broke me inside.

He seemed restless, kept running a hand through his hair. A small glimmer of hope ignited deep in me only to have him pour water all over it.

He simply nodded and stalked out with anger vibrating his muscles.

"Ahh!" My legs gave out under me, knees hit the cold hard wood. I bit into the back of my fist trying to keep the loud sobs at bay.

What just happened?

My mind was in shock. Everything happened so fast that emotions were being over loaded. I knew any decisions I made then would be rash and un-Alpha like. I needed to think.

That's when I found myself in my room clutching my phone with dear life, waiting for the bars to show up and when it did, I dialled the number from memory. Everything seemed blurry and dizzy. My ribcage contracted forcefully making it hard for me to breathe.

"Naya, honey-"

"Mum I'm sick." Loud sobs reached her. "It's me, mum... I'm hallucinating." I was curled up in the middle of the bed.

"What? How... ohh!" I heard the tears in her voice. "I'm coming okay. I'm going to g-"

"He left mum. He thinks it's contagious so he left. He doesn't want me near his pack." It was an over-reaction from the pain. First I was scared of going crazy, second I thought I had lost my mate, third he acted like I was diseased and finally, being abandoned by the person who was supposed to love me for life, was just too much.

It hurt too much.

"No... I'll come. He doesn't want me here but couldn't say it." My heart ached, stomach roiled. Oh, the pain was great. My whole body ached.

I didn't remember how our conversation ended. I was running on auto pilot. The only thing I knew was that I had to go home. This was not my home no matter how much I tried make it mine. People were kind but my mate hadn't let me near him since we had dinner together a month ago.

I remembered when he didn't want to bring me here. How can a mate resist the spiritual connection? Why was he trying so hard? Did he know I was sick? Of course not.

I fell asleep that night with the wind howling outside. Beating against the house with vengeance. The storm resembled my emotions inside. Anger coiled my throat. The tears stopped somewhere during the dark evening.

The sun that morning didn't indicate any type of rain for the night. But it wasn't raining, neither was it snowing. The sky was simply angry.

I felt Joshs' presence outside but didn't have the energy to leave my bed. When he brought me dinner later, I asked him to stay. He looked sympathetic when he saw me, told me Macey wanted to come and stay but I just wanted to be alone. I was afraid of myself, I didn't want to hurt anyone.

What if something happened in my dreams that would cause dangerous physical reaction? He had a gun, he could stop me.

I knew he had different techniques. He knew where to shoot to kill and where to shoot to subdue. He fell asleep with the TV on downstairs. The dull sounds of snoring and TV was welcoming against wind outside.

I didn't dream that night, darkness fully consumed me. Floating in a heavenly void. That void gave me guidance, a sense of clearance I needed after the hectic day. I had a plan and I was going to follow through. 

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Next 2 chapters are from Naya's P.O.V and then the next 4 are from Oceans' and he will reveal EVERYTHING. There's a big reason behind why he left and he will explain it to you. 

Thank you for sticking with the story so far. I'm so excited for you guys to finally know what's happening withthem. 

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