Chapter 25: What If

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As always, I hope you all enjoy!

~Raegan~

For the last few weeks, my house had been consumed by packing boxes, duct tape, bubble wrap and suitcases, as I packed up mine and Jamie's lives in preparation for our move to Tucson. Like me, Jamie had never lived anywhere else, but unlike me, he wasn't the least bit scared about the move. I, on the other hand, was mildly terrified.

I loved Tweaker, and I knew he loved me and Jamie, but that didn't stop the huge amount of uncertainty about all of this from creeping into the back of my head.

I had my whole life here in Tooele, but the most important person in my life—besides Jamie, lived in Tucson and that was where I wanted to be. Even still, I couldn't help but let my brain wander to the what if's of all of this.

I hadn't found a job at any hair salons yet, and although Tweaker assured me that I would, what if I didn't?

Tweaker and I were amazing right now, but what if we broke up?

Jamie was happy to move and didn't seem too concerned about leaving Holly behind, but what if he was miserable without his mother and wanted to move back home?

It was all just a lot for me to handle, and I was beginning to think this was all too good to be true. I almost felt the need to pinch myself just so I could confirm that this was all real.

Was it really possible that I got a great guy, a great kid, and a chance to live near my best friend again?

Tweaker spent the majority of the last few weeks convincing me that I was just being crazy and that everything was going to work out just fine, but that only worked while he was actually here.

He came down a couple of times since Jamie's accident to help me pack up the house and get everything in order, but he headed back to Tucson a few of days ago since Twitch was scheduled to be released from rehab this morning. It was a bummer since I was expecting the papers proving I was Jamie's guardian any day now, and we had planned to drive up to Tucson together.

As my consolation prize, I had Ace camped out at my house nearly every night since Tweaker had left, helping me pack up the remainder of the stuff left in our house and load them into the Uhaul Tweaker had rented.

Ace was usually chatty as he taped up boxes or did the heavy lifting, but tonight he was quiet. He did rile Jamie up before bed like he usually did, or talk my ear off either. As he helped me disassemble the bookshelf in the hallway, I could see in his eyes that something was weighing on him.

I wasn't usually one to pry, but I couldn't help but wonder if something had gone wrong and no one had told me yet.

I never asked questions about the Tribe, or what Tweaker and the rest of the guys had been up to because I figured I was better off not knowing what they did behind closed doors.

Ronnie said I was crazy, and that she insisted she know every detail of what went on between Knox and the guys, but I was happy being oblivious to it all. I never wanted to be in a position where I was forced to give up information about Tweaker or any of the other guys, so I figured I was better off in the dark. Tweaker had offered explanations the few times he disappeared for a couple of days, or when he would come back with bloody fists and clothes, but I let it fly right over my head, and according to Tawny, that made me a smart "old lady."

But sitting here, staring at Ace, I couldn't help my curiosity.

"Hey," I said, waving my hand in his face to get his attention.

He looked up at me, his deep eyes filled with uncertainty and anxiousness.

"Is everything okay? You haven't said a word since you got here," I explained, voicing my concern.

Usually, I couldn't get Ace to stop talking. He was always making jokes, chasing Jamie around the house and even making me crack a smile. Tonight, his mood was pensive, almost as if he was trying to make a life-changing decision.

Ace shrugged, dropping the screwdriver he was using to his side. He looked up at me, his expression evident of how desperate he was to talk about whatever was weighing on him.

"Me and Rain got into a fight last night and she left. Hasn't answered my calls or been home since."

I sighed, giving Ace's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "I'm sorry. I haven't talked to her, but I'm sure she'll come around soon."

Ace shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't know about that. She was pretty fucking pissed at me."

My eyes narrowed because Ace and Rain never fought.

Loraine had a thing for Ace ever since I could remember. Even in high school, she chased after him along with every other girl and he never gave her the time of day. It was only when Rain started working at the bar did Ace even notice her, and even then she started off as just another Hellcat. We all warned her that it would never work out long-term, but Ace surprised us all by realizing that he actually cared about her after she got shot and almost died. Ever since then, those two were attached at the hip and blissfully happy. It was almost annoying at times, but it also meant that on the rare occasion they did fight, it was over something big.

"What happened?" I questioned, wondering what could be so bad to make Rain leave. She had put up with a lot from Ace and had never gone as far as this, so whatever he had done, he had really fucked up.

He let out a breath. "She heard me talking to a woman on the phone and freaked out. Started throwing shit, screaming, even packed a bag."

Wow.

"Why were you talking to another woman?" I questioned, instantly feeling the need to defend my friend.

Had Ace been cheating and lying, he deserved to be this miserable.

"That's just fucking it!" he exclaimed. "I wasn't talking to another woman."

My eyes narrowed.

Ace shrugged. "Okay, I was," he relented. "But it wasn't like that."

I crossed my arms over my chest because as if I had never heard that one before.

"Than what was it like?" I challenged.

Ace sighed, fumbling with his fingers nervously as he looked up at me. "Promise me you won't breathe a word of this to anybody?" he threatened.

I nodded, suddenly nervous that I was about to learn something I didn't want to.

"I was talking to the jeweller who is making Rain's ring."

My eyes narrowed. "Her ring?" I questioned.

Ace nodded, waiting for it to click in my head. When it didn't, he rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air. "Her engagement ring," he elaborated.

I felt my mouth drop.

"Oh my god," I breathed. "You're proposing?"

Ace let a smile slip. "Well, I was planning on it, but she heard the lady's voice and didn't give me a chance to explain. She told me that she can't trust me and she should never have gotten involved with me in the first place."

My face fell because those words must have hurt. "I'm sorry," I said.

Ace just shrugged. "Whatever. It would never have worked out anyway. I should have just stayed single for the rest of my life like Mack."

I rolled my eyes because everyone in the Tribe pitied Mack for never taking an old lady even as he approached fifty. Ace didn't wanna end up like Mack, he was just too full of pride to hunt Rain down and make her listen to his explanation.

"Don't say that," I scolded. "You should try calling her again. Trust me Ace, you don't wanna lose her over something this stupid."

He nodded in agreement, but I could see he was in no mood to be taking my advice.

"Why don't we just cut the packing short for tonight? You look like you could use a drink and I'm ready for bed."

Ace nodded in agreement. "I'll come back tomorrow."

"Sounds good," I confirmed, letting out a yawn.

As I let Ace out the front door, he turned back to face me when he was already halfway down the driveway.

"Not a word of this to anybody, understand?" he warned.

I smiled, holding up three fingers. "Scouts honour," I promised, although I totally planned on calling Rain and convincing her to give him a chance to explain.

________________________________

The next morning, I had yet to hear back from Rain even after I had dropped Jamie off at school, stopped by the salon to say my final goodbyes, and went to buy more packing boxes.

I called her soon after Ace had left the night before, but she had yet to even call me back. I was dying to convince her to speak to him, mostly because I wanted him to propose before I left Tooele for good, but I had no luck.

The one time my phone did ring, I jumped up so excitedly I nearly dropped it to the ground, but it was only Tweaker calling for our morning chat.

"Hi," I managed, nearly out of breath.

Tweaker chuckled. "Hey, baby. Why do you sound like you just ran a marathon?"

I bit my lip, wanting so desperately to tell him about what Ace had told me last night, but I had made a promise, and I wasn't about to break it even if it was just my boyfriend who was asking.

"I left my phone in the kitchen and I ran to get it before it went to voicemail," I lied. "How's Twitch?" I asked, completely changing the subject.

Tweaker let out a breath. "Better—I think. He has thirty-four days, but that's not gonna go a long way if he's trying to get joint custody."

I frowned, really feeling for Twitch. I had only met him a few times, but he seemed like a nice enough kid. In over his head with addiction, but desperate to get himself better for his daughter if not for himself.

"He's already starting to freak out about Margo moving away," Tweaker went on.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. "Is there anything I can do to help?" I asked.

I didn't have much experience with recovering addicts, but I was well versed in the art of crazy bitch— after all, I had lived with Holly all my life. 

He sighed. "Not unless you have a time machine that could stop Twitch from showing up at Margo's house high as a damn kite."

I let out a chuckle. "Unfortunately, I don't have one of those laying around."

"Well then, I guess there's nothing you can do. Anyways, that's not why I called. Have you checked the mail yet today?" He asked.

Tweaker was almost more excited than I was to finally get the letter of guardianship in the mail that would let me and Jamie move in with him. While he was here, he would check the mailbox at least three times a day. Since he'd left, he'd call and ask if I had checked it yet and then make me check it at least two more times before I went to bed.

While it got annoying after the second time, I couldn't help but find it the sweetest damn thing. He was practically dying to hear that me and Jamie were on our way, but we'd yet to have any luck. My lawyer told us I should be receiving the papers any day now, and that just made Tweaker even more insistent about checking the mailbox until it finally landed in my hands.

I let out a breath. "Yes, Tweak, I checked it before I took Jamie to school."

"And?" he questioned.

I chuckled. "Don't you think if it was in there I would have called you already?"

Tweaker sighed. "Maybe you should check again. Sometimes the mailman comes a little bit later in the day."

I rolled my eyes. "The mailman already came, the papers just weren't in there."

He groaned, clearly frustrated that we were still waiting. It had been weeks since I filed the papers and we were left in limbo.

"What the fuck is taking so long?" He questioned. "Doesn't CPS know that I'm practically dying over here without my girl and my Twerp?"

I let out a laugh. "I don't think CPS really cares."

"Well, they should!" he complained. "I miss you, Toots."

I smiled, feeling my heart warm at his words. "I miss you too," I agreed. "I don't like waking up without you next to me."

"Me neither," he sighed. "Especially since I have to get myself off when I wake up."

My eyes narrowed. "Is that the only thing I'm good for?" I challenged.

Tweaker scoffed. "Nah, Toots. It's only one of many."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, you're just gonna have to survive a little while longer cos the house isn't even all packed up yet anyway."

Tweaker groaned. "What do you mean? Ace has been there every night for the last week. How much more shit is there?"

"A lot," I admitted. "But at least Ace and I are more productive than you and me," I teased.

"Packing" with Tweaker ended up turning into sex on empty cardboard boxes nearly every time. He and I got close to nothing done when we were together, mostly because we used our limited time together to make up for when he was gone. When we weren't hanging out with Jamie, we were fooling around after Jamie had gone to bed. While I wasn't complaining, it did put me a little bit behind schedule since Tweaker expected me to be on the road as soon as the papers came in.

"I'm telling him to come over again tonight," he warned. "I want everything ready for when that shit finally—"

Tweaker's words were interrupted by my other line ringing.

As I looked at the screen of my cell phone to find out who was calling, my stomach twisted at the sight of Holly's name and number.

"Shit," I cursed.

"What's wrong?" Tweaker asked.

I let out a breath. "Holly's calling on the other line."

He scoffed. "Don't answer."

"I'm not," I agreed, pushing the decline button.

"What the fuck does she want?" Tweaker asked.

I shrugged. "Who knows."

"She hasn't come by again has she?" He asked.

Just when I was about to answer, the other line rang again and Holly's name was once again on my screen.

"She's calling again," I mumbled.

"Who gives a fuck," Tweaker cursed. "Ignore it."

I sighed. "Maybe it's something about Jamie and why I haven't gotten the papers yet?" I suggested.

Tweaker let out a breath. "Fine. Answer it and call me back as soon as you're done with her."

"I will," I promised, rushing to answer her call before it went to voicemail once again.

"Hello?" I asked, feeling a little weird since I hadn't spoken to her since the night she tried to decapitate me with a table lamp.

"When in the hell were you planning on telling me that you're moving my son to Ari-fucking-zona, Raegan?"

I let out a breath because I knew this was bound to come out eventually.

I told Holly that she had two choices that would both end up with me getting custody of Jamie, but I never mentioned I planned to move him away from Tooele and her.

"I got permission from the courts, Holly. As long as their okay with it, I don't need to let you know. I'm Jamie's guardian now. I decide what's best for him."

Holly let out a bitter laugh. "Wow. I always knew you were jealous of me, but I never realized how much until now."

"Jealous?" I questioned.

"Yeah, jealous," she confirmed. "I mean why else would you be trying to steal my life?"

I scoffed because that was just fucking ridiculous. "Last time I checked, your life was in fucking ruins. Trust me when I say, no one wants to steal it from you."

"Than why are you stealing everything that's mine?" she raged. "I mean, first Tweaker, now Jamie—"

"Whoa," I interrupted. "When in the hell was Tweaker ever yours?" I questioned.

Holly paused. "I did have sex with him first. That means that he was mine before he was ever yours."

I couldn't help my laugh at that because it was just fucking ridiculous.

"Holly, you slept with Tweaker when you were seventeen and he's barely looked in your direction since. Last I checked, that never made him yours, that just made you another slut he fucked his way through before he found me. And the fact that your sitting here pretending you even care about me moving Jamie away when all your really upset about is that I ended up with Tweaker is just sad. You're pathetic, and as long as I have something to say about it, Jamie will not be seeing or hearing from you any time soon," I threatened, meaning every single word.

"Fuck you, Raegan. You are not taking my son," she raged.

"Wanna bet?" I challenged. "The house is already packed up and the Uhaul is parked in the driveway. The second those papers come in the mail, Jamie and I are gone and there's not one thing you can do about it unless you want me making a call to Chief Miller. So I suggest you think twice about threatening me because I promise you, I am not fucking playing."

________________________________

Tweaker literally laughed when I told him the things that Holly had said because we both knew her words were nothing short of preposterous. If Tweaker belonged to every woman he had slept with, we would need a bed the size of a small island. Holly was just another notch in his belt and someone who meant literally nothing to him.

He was quick to assure me of this himself, but I already knew.

Holly's words didn't even phase me anymore. The only thing they did do was convince Tweaker that me and Jamie needed to be ready to leave now more than ever.

Ace arrived later that night as per Tweaker's request and he was ready for business.

"Tweaker said I have to have this house packed up by this weekend. And since technically he's now a Vice President, I'm obligated to do what he says."

I let out a laugh because there was no way Ace would be taking orders from Tweaker even if he was the President of the whole damn Tribe. Ace was just being a good friend, and you had to love him for that.

I nodded in agreement. "I'm under strict orders not to leave the house until I'm ready to get in that Uhaul—which is already driving Jamie crazy.'

Ace chuckled. "I'll bet. Where is that little monster?" He questioned, looking around the disastrous living room and kitchen without spotting him.

I rolled my eyes. "I let him buy a new game on the iPad. That should keep him busy for at least a couple of hours before he has to go to bed."

"God bless technology," Ace teased.

I nodded in agreement. "Seriously."

_________________________________

"So," I began, as Ace and I began bubble wrapping the tall mirror that used to hang in my bedroom. "Have you talked to Loraine?" I questioned.

I had managed to avoid the topic while we packed up most of the living room, but I was just too curious not to ask.

Ace smiled and nodded his head. "She said she'd let me pick her up from work. Her shift finishes at midnight so after I'm done here I'm gonna head to Black's."

I let out a breath, relieved that she was giving Ace a chance to explain himself. The poor idiot was just trying to surprise her and he practically got castrated for it.

"That's good!" I cheered. "Does that mean I should be planning a party for tonight?"

Ace lit up with a smile but shook his head. "I don't wanna do it just half-assed. We're supposed to go to Park City this weekend, and I'm hoping she still wants to go cos I booked a suite at The St. Regis."

My mouth dropped. "Holy shit. How much did that set you back?"

Ace rolled his eyes. "A lot. But I don't give a shit as long as she says yes."

I couldn't help but find the hopeful look in his eyes adorable. Rain had gotten lucky with this one.

"She'll say yes," I assured.

"You think?" He questioned.

I nodded, and just before I was about to confirm that there was no way she could ever say no to him, a loud crash sprung me to my feet.

"What the fuck was

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