"I always wanted a large family. For a long while I was content just raising Daniel and Isla with Bea, but now that I know what life is like with Esther, I can't imagine how I ever went on without two children of my own. She may not be blood, but she is my daughter. I don't care what any DNA test says."

-Eleanor Crowley

ESTHER

Of all the questions running through my head right now, the biggest one is simply, "Why?"

Why did my family lie to me all these years? Why didn't Isla want to raise me? Why did Kayleigh hack into the Hicksmon official files to share that? Why am I spending my second to last night with Milo crying in my living room, surrounded by concerned family who are treating me like I'm made of porcelain?

I wish I had the breath to ask all of those questions, but my tears suffocate me and all I can get out is just the one word: "Why?"

"Milo, would you give us some privacy?" Mom—Eleanor—asks.

"No, I want him to stay," I insist. He's the only person in this room who hasn't lied to be. One of two people in my life who hasn't betrayed me, Tempest being the other. I wish she were here. She would have the wittiest comebacks to dish out. She might be the only person who could somehow make me smile right now.

"Milo, please," Daniel adds.

I don't look up, but I can only assume Daniel has shot him one of his looks, because Milo rubs my back and then stands beside me. "Call me later, Es," he mumbles to me.

I still don't look up. I'm too angry to give them all the attention they're looking for from me right now. This whole situation seems hypocritical: My boyfriend is being asked to leave so that my entire family can gang up on me to explain their lies? Some family.

Literally, everyone who I consider family except for Tempest, Ava, and Ian are here. I cross my arms and allow my peripheral vision to scan the room. Eleanor is next to me, Joe—my step-dad—sits in his wheelchair beside her, Isla stands beside him, then Daniel, Beatrice, Todd, Celia, Julian, and Declan, who is the only one who hangs his head. I hear all the younger kids running around upstairs, their feet stampeding above us. Only Henry—who used to be just my thirteen-year-old sort of cousin, but is now my thirteen-year-old uncle—and Xenia, Celia and Julian's daughter, have any idea what's going on. Toben and his friends are clueless.

"So...," I start. "Say whatever you need to say to try to save this."

I'm not quite sure what I mean by save this. Save this situation? Save this family? Whatever I meant to say, Eleanor takes it hard. She sucks in air as if I just punched her in the lungs.

Beatrice is the first to speak. "We all understand how upset you must be. In our lives, we have all experienced anger toward our families for different reasons, but we want to at least explain to you why we kept this from you. You are allowed to be angry with us. We only ask that you try to hear us."

I swallow hard, like I'm trying to push away a knot of angry words from my mouth. "Sure," I say, though I'm sure they can all hear how insincere my concession is. I'll do my best to hear them, but I can't make any promises.

"Nate and I...," Isla starts, but quickly stops herself, physically placing her hand over her mouth as if to stop the words from spilling out. "I'm sorry, could we be alone for a moment? Esther? Will you join me outside?"

"Sure," I say with an roll of my eyes. I huff as I push myself off of the couch to stand and march outside after Isla. The fire pit out back is already going, but other than that, the only other light shines from the stars. I take a seat on one of the wooden benches Todd made a few years ago, and cross my arms again. Isla rubs her hands together in front of the fire, even though it's perfectly warm tonight.

She doesn't meet my eyes when she takes a huge breath and starts into her explanation. "Nate, your biological father, and I had a strange relationship. He befriended me on the Immortal, before I knew that Daniel or Eleanor were still alive. At first he was more of a bully than anything, but then he began to open up. Even after I found out Daniel was alive, Nate continued to talk to me. Eventually it became clear that he had feelings for me, but I obviously didn't reciprocate them in that way. We kissed once, though; right before he injected me with DNA that allowed me to help the Deathless survive the attack on Roberts and Cooper's bunker in DC. All that time, Daniel had to receive Nate's messages about what was happening on the Immortal, because Nate was... he was implanted with Gunther's mind control. He was a spy for the government."

I shift in my seat. My father was a spy?

"I don't want you to think of him as a spy, though," Isla continues. "He was a hero. He sacrificed his life so that I could survive. So that we could all survive. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have been conscious for the bunker's evacuation, and we would have all died before the war even truly began. But his affection for me and our strange friendship... it made things between Daniel and I strained. Between that and the aftermath of the war, I wasn't ready to be your mom. I was only your age when I found out you were my biological daughter. Could you imagine having just survived a war in which many of your friends died and being told that your genes helped create your mother-in-law's baby?"

I try to imagine it, but I can't. It's too weird, too complicated. I shake my head.

"You are Eleanor's daughter. Just because your DNA says I'm your mother doesn't make me your mom. Eleanor raised you, she carried you, you are hers. I am just half of the template Gunther Quail manipulated to make you the best you could possibly be."

I get it, but I still wonder, "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"We always thought we would once you were old enough to understand all the complexities of the situation. But then Hicksmon kept developing and the 'Perfects' became a thing. We didn't want you to have any special privileges over the others. You're already different enough from your peers. And now, thanks to Kayleigh, what we didn't want to happen is happening. Some of your peers have genes of people we've villainized inside them, and people are already treating them differently. You don't want to know whose genes Kayleigh has inside her, although Milo's make a lot of sense, actually."

I straighten up. "Whose DNA do they have?"

Isla tenses for a minute. She bites her lip, then leans over to pull her tablet from the pocket of her jeans. She presses some buttons on the screen before handing it over to me. "You might as well just see for yourself now that the rest of Hicksmon knows."

I take the screen in my hand and immediately search for Milo Valencia. My heart jumps when I find his name, even though I knew exactly where to look. I press my finger to his name and drag it across the screen to find his genetic makeup. The names beside his, the ones that make up who he is in a 50/50 split, are familiar to me, echoes from stories I've heard all my life. I know that everyone inside the house right now and even Isla could tell me who these two people are, but there is one person I want to ask in particular.

I clutch the tablet to my chest and stumble back inside the house, Isla following me, gently asking me what I'm doing as she does. When I get to the person I need to talk to, I show him the tablet face, and say, "You knew Milo's biological father, didn't you?"

Declan's eyes widen and he pushes his glasses up the slope of his nose. With a heavy breath, he replies, "Yes. Hugh Quail was the love of my life."

I look back at the tablet where it clearly reads, "Milo Valencia. 50% Hugh Quail, 50% Nina Allen." My heartaches for Declan. I can't imagine losing Milo for good. I can barely imagine what it will be like once he's in Petra.

His biological mother's name I recognize from the music center that was named for her. "Who was Nina Allen?"

"She was a survivor like us," Daniel says. "She was killed in the battle at Cooper's estate."

"She wrote the most beautiful songs," Celia adds.

The mention of songs reminds me of the dance we were supposed to enjoy tonight, and of the spectacle Kayleigh created instead. I have to know why, but I'm afraid to look. Is she one of the Perfects who would have been ostracized all her life had people known who her DNA came from?

I find her name on the list as well and scroll my finger across to her DNA makeup. I have to read it at least ten times before I fully comprehend what it says. "Kayleigh Winter. %50 Gunther Quail, %50 Tanya Reinhold."

My best friend, my closest confidant... suddenly she seems like a stranger, and I finally get why my family wouldn't want all of us to know our genetic makeup. My skin crawls thinking about how close Kayleigh and I have been.

My best friend is Gunther Quail's daughter.