Episode Thirty-One: Suggestions

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Because we are not invisible, like the Roberts Crew people, Michelle instructs Yuri, Neo, me, and now Esther to find somewhere less patrolled to sleep for the night. She suggests looking for unlocked cars.

I'm thankful that Esther is here now, not just because she's family and I love her, but also because things are so weird between me and Neo and me and Yuri that I can't imagine finding a place to sleep with either of them, and I do not want to sleep alone. Not after hearing the plan Michelle came up with.

She wants Yuri to go on a tour of the White House while President McCleary is there and implode himself inside. She said there will be devastation, of course, but at least McCleary will be dead and maybe that will send a message to Cooper that someone knows about the plan and will fight back. Or maybe nothing will be stopped by this, and Yuri will die for nothing. I would never forgive myself for letting him do that. But how can I stop him? His mind is already made up: He is a ticking time bomb and he wants to have some control over when he detonates. 

The four of us wait until dark to start scouting for unlocked cars, which are surprisingly hard to find. Back in our time, most of the cars you see on the road were unlocked, but maybe that's because their drivers and passengers had tried running out of them in a hurry. As we quietly pull handle after handle along the street, Neo comes up to me and places his hand on the small of my back.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Not now, we're breaking into cars."

"It's serious."

I groan. "Fine."

Es looks over at me and I mouth the words, "Be right back," before following Neo to a nearby park bench. 

Es and Yuri continue pulling handles of cars, and Neo and I watch over them like disappointed parents looking after their miscreant children.

"What's up, Neo?"

"You need to go back with Esther."

"What, like, right now? C'mon."

"Yuri is a lost cause, you can't save him. I'll stay with him and make sure he does what he needs to do. You and Esther need to go."

"And then you die too? I don't think so."

"What other choice do we have?"

I don't know how to answer this, because the obvious response is to leave Yuri here and leave now. But I can't. I am so mad at him for behaving like this, but I still have feelings for him. I still have feelings for Neo. I can't leave either of them behind, and Yuri refuses to budge.

"Maybe we could just force Yuri to come with us. Es said that all we need is her portable device and to all be touching. If we attack him with some sort of, like, bear hug or something maybe then we can all come back in time."

Neo smiles. "That actually could work. But here's the problem: I don't know if I could really leave in good conscience, knowing what I'm leaving behind. We have the unique opportunity to see into the future and know how this all ends. And it's not great. We survive, yes, but the world is worse for it and most of the human population dies."

"Es told me that there's another war brewing on Earth right now, too," I tell him, though Es told me that in confidentiality. She didn't think Yuri would come back with us if he knew.

"We can stop it. I can make sure Yuri does what he needs to do, and I can be somewhere safe, and then on the day of the bombs, I can make sure no one detonates them."

I shoot him an incredulous look. "How?"

"I will worry about that when the time comes. I have my ways. But you need to be somewhere safe. Somewhere off of this planet."

"I'm not leaving you."

"What do you care about me? Really, what do I matter?"

"You matter to me. I care about you a lot."

"It's not enough to keep me from saving the world, though. And I'm sorry, but that's the truth. You know it and I know it."

I can't argue with him on that either.

"So what are you saying? That there's no way I can save you or Yuri?"

"No. You have to just save yourself."

Tears fill my eyes. "You're an asshole, you know that, right?"

He smiles. "Yeah, I know."

I fall into him, wrapping my arms around him for a hug. If this is how it ends, there's only one more thing I need to do.

"Do you know how to start a car without the keys?" I ask.

He smiles in reply. 

Es and I are going to go to Hicksmon.

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