Sidney held open a heavy oak restaurant door as an older couple stepped out into the sun with relaxed afternoon smiles on their faces. It must be nice, Sid thought. To be able to take a lunch in the middle of the day at one of the nicest restaurants Brooklyn had to offer. She had dropped off AJ Whitney, avoided having to talk to her Mom, and thanks to the generosity of her sister was able to get an Uber back to Brooklyn. She was on a role. Now she was hitting the first stop on her I Need a Job tour.

Once the door closed behind the couple she stepped inside and made her way over to the hostess station. A moment later, a girl with tiny tattoos that dotted the side of a petite arm poking out of a flowing black tank top came over to her with a lazy smile. Sid tried to make out the little blotches of ink on her skin.

"Hi, table for one?" The girl asked just as Sid decided that they were tiny cranes on her arms. Sid shook her head as the hostess typed busily on an iPad.

"Oh, no. I'm not here to eat. I was hoping I could speak with Carmen Lopez?" Sid offered with a sweet smile.

The hostess pulled her lips in and furrowed her brow. "Carmen?" She asked.

"Yes, Carmen Lopez. She's a cook here." Sid clarified. She remembered Tomi mentioning that their friend Carmen from college was a line cook at Dubanese, a Mediterranean and Persian fusion eatery in Williamsburg's trendy restaurant row. It boasted a 4.6 Zagat rating. Sid was hoping to chat with her and see if she had an in at the restaurant. She had to get a new job so she was going to swing for the stars.

"Oh, you mean Car! The head chef?" The lady beamed with recognition but then she eyed Sid suspiciously. Head Chef? It seemed Carmen had done well for herself. She was always a hard worker and therefore a star student.

"Yes, Car. Is she available?"

"And, I'm sorry, I didn't get your name...and how you know her."

"We went to college together. She'll know who I am." She better know who I am. While Carmen was a star pupil in school, she was also a full-blown slut. No, Sid, didn't call her that. Carmen called herself that. She'd tell anyone how proud she was of her sexual prowess. She bedded guys and left them quickly once she got bored. Carmen was on a pretty good streak with it all too until she met her match during their senior year with a fine piece of man named Ryan who was only a sophomore but had the swagger of a doctoral candidate. 

The boy had her sprung! But he was a ladies' man himself and when Carmen saw him with another girl she got so furious that she vandalized his little Miata. Sid was the Resident Advisor for their dorm so Carmen came crying to her after she'd done the crime. Sidney worked to not get her expelled by coordinating a mediation between her and Ryan, working out a plan for her to pay for the damages, and gathering letters of support from her Professors. Carmen didn't get expelled and the last Sid could remember her and Ryan had rekindled something.

The gatekeeper skidded off to the back of the restaurant. Sid pulled out her phone and went to Instagram and type in Carmen's page. It would be nice to mention some tidbits about her life during their chat. Sid scrolled and noticed that Ryan didn't appear in any photos and a quick search of him showed that he's was in Bali currently with an incredibly hot model. Sid made a note not to bring that up. She'd stick to chatting about Carmen's two insanely cute puppies.

The hostess emerged a short time later and — Sid noticed sadly-- without Carmen. She held out a small business card to Sid.

"Car's a little busy at the moment but she says to please contact her. She'd love to hear from you." Her fake smile was pulled tightly against her lips and Sid knew it was bullshit. Car was brushing her off.

"Oh, yeah, definitely. Thank you. Actually, is there a restroom I can use before I head out?" Sid asked really sweetly, even cocked her head to the side like a pitiful little puppy.

"Yes, right down that hall."

"Thanks." She gripped the card in her fist as she strode off toward the bathroom. She passed rows of Persian art that flanked the wall until she reached the restrooms. She peeked over her shoulder, the hostess was tied up with customers. Sid kept walking right on to the kitchen. She eased through the double doors. 

Carmen wasn't hard to spot. The only woman in the kitchen with four men working steadily around her, she held a piece of grilled chicken between her manicured fingers and chatted with one of the guys casually. Not busy at all. There were only three tables occupied in the dining room this time of day. Sid knew better. Carmen's eyes met Sid and she almost choked on that damn chicken.

"Sidney! Oh my god. How long has it been?" She threw the last bite of chicken in her mouth and dusted her fingers on the hem of her white chef's coat.

Sid thought of saying something bitchy but then remembered why she was there. Ultimately she wanted to ask for a favor.

"Too long! You look great." The pleasantries went on for a bit before she invited Sidney upstairs into her small but well-furnished office. It even had a window. Sid hadn't been in an office with a window for years. This was where she was supposed to be. She could imagine herself in that seat, running a kitchen like this one. It'd be stressful but so rewarding. She just needed someone to give her a damn break. She took a deep breath and launched into her spiel.

"I'm actually in the market for a new gig. I wanted to kind of move on and use my skills in a larger restaurant. Was hoping you might have an opportunity here."

"Where were you working?"

"The Grazie." Sid cleared her dry throat and rubbed at the flesh beneath the ripped knee of her jeans. She wore a black peplum top that hid her back fat and tummy pudge perfectly, with black flats. She looked put together but cool. Casual but ready for business.

"Grazie, Grazie...hmm...never heard of it. But there's so many restaurants in this town. Can't know 'em all right? Italian cuisine I'm guessing. You were Line or Sous there?" Carmen's phone lit up and she answered it, barked a demand, and then hung up with a smile at Sid. Her throat was growing increasingly dry and she seemed to have begun sweating for no reason at all in the air-conditioned office.

"Manager actually...assistant manager."

There it was. That look. That pitiful freaking look that everyone seemed to take on. It's like they sat there and did the mental comparison of where they were in life against where Sid was and they realized how short she came up. How little progress she'd made in the same amount of time they had. It was leveling each time. But Sidney was learning to smile through it. She discovered several mantras on Instagram that helped her through her hardest days. It doesn't matter how slowly you go as long as you don't give up. Oh and, Life isn't a race. Find joy in the journey.

"Cool, well, I'd love to help but we don't currently have any openings." Carmen gave her the "I'm so sorry" face. Sid reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone.

"I saw here on your website that you guys need a prep cook. I mean, you've seen my work, Carmen. I'm sorry...Car..." Sid gave her knowing grin, "We used to prep together all the time in school. I even taught you a few things."

Carmen plastered that pathetic grin on her face again and picked at her perfectly manicured nails. No really, how were they that perfect when she worked with food and washed her hands all day? Did she just get them done?

"Look, I'd love to help, really, but this place...really needs," She rotated her hands in the air like she was trying to find the right words. Words that wouldn't sound as offensive as whatever it was that she really wanted to say.

"...really needs a prep cook, it seems." Sid urged. Carmen stopped the rotating hands and dropped them into her lap.

"Sid, there are some really skilled people out there. Just in the time since we've left school things have gotten tougher. Constant need for innovation and fresh ideas. This is a Michelin Star establishment. And it's just...you haven't touched a kitchen since school..." She furrowed her brow like she was so sorry for Sid. "How am I going to justify that to the owners?"

Sid couldn't form words. She knew it was bullshit. Carmen was Head Chef. She wouldn't have to justify a prep cook hire. She just didn't want Sid. She rubbed at her knee some more hoping it would stamp down the anger that was rising in her. It was more than she could take. To sit here and have someone who's very ass she saved tell her that she was stale. Yesterday's news. That if she hired her it would be a pity hire. Sid ran circles around her in the kitchen and Carmen...No...stupid fucking Car, knew it.

"I get it. Thank you." Sid slung her purse back on her shoulder and rose from the seat. She was getting ready to leave but she felt defeated. Like Carmen had knocked her down. She turned back toward her.

"How's Ryan by the way? Last saw he was with some model. I mean, just drop-dead gorgeous."

Carmen swallowed and the pale skin of her face became red. That's it. Just what Sid was looking for.

"Ah, well. The place is beautiful! Have a good one." Sid threw her the peace sign and skipped out of the office, down the stairs and out of the restaurant. She grilled those stupid tiny cranes on her way out and hope that the girl got her ass chewed out for Sid sneaking back.

As good as that felt, she still didn't have a job. She pulled out her phone and pulled up her contacts. Once she found Carmen's name. She scrolled to the bottom of the contact info and pressed the 'delete contact' button.

"Bitch," Sidney muttered to herself as her phone asked her if she was sure she wanted to delete the contact. Oh, yeah. She was absolutely sure. She wouldn't need that number again. After deleting Carmen's info she searched through for another lead. She wondered if her friend Viv was still working at Antoni's a few blocks away. She headed off in that direction.