Sid remembered how she felt when she came back to Fort Greene after college. Moving her things, which only consisted of a bed and TV into the empty off-white apartment that dripped with bare necessity. AJ, just a wriggling newborn in his brand new car seat gifted to her by Whitney. She felt a sense of relief to be out of her mother's house. Critiquing whether she was holding his head right or wiping his butt correctly was grating on her nerves. 

Tanya's breath down her neck at every diaper change and bottle feeding. She thought Sidney should be breastfeeding even though Sid had spent a treacherous week trying to get AJ to latch and suckle properly. She cried for hours at the rawness of her nipples and he wailed endlessly because of his empty stomach. Eventually, she relented and fed him a bottle of formula, and immediately she and her baby boy began to relax. She mourned not being able to give him food from her own body but was also relieved that they were both finally at peace finally could begin to bond.

But that relief though was met by a stark reality. The barely-there job that she had at Grazie wouldn't even give her a paid day off to move. It was just starting to weigh on her then. The way the life you lead can sit so heavily on top of the life you dreamed of. Weighing it down. Suffocating it until you fear it can never come to life. Staring at those empty walls and spaces that she could not fill with furniture. Watching her child crawl around on a floor she had to scrub the dirt off until her hands were raw. And the weight was there. She was back in her apartment and now the weight was in the form of a backpack stuffed with cash sitting on her couch. It only took Tanya one day to come through for Sid like she said she would. She was surprised to find Regis at her door this morning, cradling a black leather Coach backpack that he placed at her feet before quickly excusing himself.

She wasted no time throwing her clothes on and heading out to find Kru. Only she didn't know exactly where she was going. It wasn't like Kru left detailed directions on where she could find him or some secret location where she could drop the money. She just knew that she would find him somehow. Terrorizing her neighborhood and sucking the opportunity and joy out of people's lives. As she reached the front of her apartment building, it doors propped open as usual, she stopped and looked around before going out. Assuring that she wasn't been stalked or followed. 

The afternoon sun was high in the sky and the block was packed. She clutched the straps of the backpack in her hands and took solace in the fact that he wouldn't kill her in broad daylight with so many witnesses. Sid took up the post where Frenchie usually stood. She watched a group of girls play double dutch. Their legs pumping faster and faster along with the thump of her heart in her chest. She let herself imagine for one moment that she was like those little girls again. Not a care in the world except making sure you made it in the rope on time and kept your feet moving.

The footsteps were behind before she had a chance to react and a hand was gripping her forearm. She struggled to get away, looking up to see Luke, Bomb, and Frenchie surrounding her. Luke's hand is the one that was fastened around her wrist. Sid shot him an angry stare and tried to pull away but her strength was no match for his.

"Yo, chill. You starting off all hostile and shit." Frenchie stepped in and put some space between Luke and Sid. She placed a hand on Sid's lower back. At first, Sid thought it was an endearing gesture but realized she was feeling for weapons. Convinced that Sid wasn't packing anything she motioned with her head for Sid to follow her. Luke fell back but she could still feel the pressure of his fingers in her skin. Her feet carried her forward as her mind tried to calculate all the ways this could go wrong. She was sandwiched between them, a silent Bomb bringing up the rear and Luke and Frenchie walked ahead of her. Luke gesturing angrily toward Frenchie who seem nonplussed by his aggression. Sid was equally confused so she stayed silent and watched him like an explosive that could explode at any moment. 

Sid's eyes trailed to his hands and noticed the fresh bruises on his knuckles. The pain that he inflicted on Phil. Such anger and force. How could he possibly hurt someone like that who was supposed to be his friend? But as soon as the thought crossed her mind she recalled the photo of her father and Kru. Arms slung around one another in a cool familiarity. Friends are often enemies kept close. Luke's entire persona, from his pants, low-slung on his hips, to his hoodie fitted to his body. His facial hair trimmed into the same neat goatee as Phil. It's like he was trying to be him. Had probably been plotting for a long time to take his spot. The thought saddened Sid and she felt sympathy slip in for Luke. He hadn't yet realized how hard it was to replace an actual person. People were full souls. With people who loved them and missed them. They were not merely interchangeable. You could not become them.

Sid tore her eyes away from Luke. They were exiting the walkway and heading down the block toward the corner store. Sid had frequented this store her entire life. For the occasional late-night run for snacks or for the off-brand discount diapers she sometimes had to buy for AJ when money was tight. Her heartbeat quickened with uncertainty. Everything around her was familiar and yet menacing at the same time. Sid knew this neighborhood like the back of her hand. Where could they be leading her that Kru was holed up? What place had she passed her entire life that housed this sinister man? What trapdoor had she missed while wheeling her son to and from daycare?

The bodega stunk of damp cardboard and kitty litter. The scent snuck into her nostrils as she instinctively glanced up toward the discount diapers. Confirming that this was indeed just a typical store. It had not changed since the last time she was there buying cut-rate diapers. The front counter was flanked with two kids shoving crumpled dollar bills toward the older Dominican guy behind the counter in exchange for colorful candies he dumped into a paper bag. No mind was paid to them as they drifted toward the back of the store and through a thick weathered wooden door covered with stickers for Newport cigarettes, ¢99 Arizona Teas, and Budlight. They meandered their way through a dimly lit small storage area before coming to another door. This one was metal and shined with a new sturdiness that let Sid know that everything up front was just for show. Behind this door was the real reason why this space existed.

Frenchie knocked on the door and waited. Bomb butted up against Sid's back. Too close for comfort in the tiny area. She shifted her weight to the side but ended up closer to Luke than she wanted so she moved back, tugging at the straps of the leather backpack again. Latches on the other side of the door were freed before it swung open. Another space, almost the size of the entire store area in the front was concealed behind that door. Sid frowned at the two metal cafeteria tables at the far end of the room. A light coating of dust covered the table tops with food scales perched on each end. Sid tried not to breathe in the drug particles she was sure were floating around in the room. 

Along another wall was a desk and behind it sat Kru. His sleeves pulled up as he watched a large computer screen on the corner of the desk in front of him, and listened to a timid voice leaking from his cell phone on speaker. Red lines skated across a graph in the center of the screen. Decimals and percentages slowly ticking up or down-filled the right side. Frenchie, Luke, and Bomb positioned her in front of his desk before stepping to the side. No one said anything as Kru listened to the nervous voice on the speakerphone. His brows knitted and focused on those vacillating numbers on the screen.

Sid looked around at the sparse room. Other than two aluminum school lunchroom style tables in the far left corner of the room, and the desk Kru occupied pushed to the opposite side, the room held nothing. Sid deflated. She hoped to get a peek at Phil. Lay eyes on his and confirm he was still breathing but there was nowhere he could be in here. This windowless room was for business and business only. Kru listened for a few minutes longer before looking up and acknowledging the group's presence for the first time. He reached over a steady finger to the iPhone where the tinny voice was streaming out of and pressed the glowing red button. The voice disappeared leaving the room silent. Sid was able to hear her own breathing. Shallow and ragged and coached herself to calm down. She had what he wanted but there was no telling if that would be enough. How could she be sure that he wouldn't shoot her the moment she handed the money over?

"That was quick. I appreciate it." He said to Sidney in a calm voice. She swallowed hard and stepped toward the table Kru sat behind but Luke rushed to pull her back. She shoved him off.

"Don't put your hands on me. Ever." Sidney hissed the words and barely recognized the malice in her own voice. Kru's eyes widened as he looked between her and Luke, a wide sneer spreading across his lips before he dissolved in chuckles.

"She might really kick your ass, L." Kru said between chuckles that turned into a slight coughing fit. Bomb and Frenchie muffled snickers behind her Luke grilled her like he wanted to give her bruises to match Phil's.

As his laughter died down, Kru held out his hand, beckoning Sid toward him. Once her thighs met the outer edge of the desk she slipped the backpack off her back and rested it on the desk.

"Hold on. You're not going to pull out a piece and shoot me are you?" He asked her with a mocking tone. Like he really didn't peg her as one capable of doing such a thing. He underestimated her because God knows she wanted to and if she had a piece with her at the moment she would have. But she was only concerned with getting him what she owed him and getting Phil back to safety. She glanced around the room. Besides she would not only have to kill him but she wouldn't make it out of this room without wiping out Frenchie, Bomb, and Luke too. Sid threw her eyes over her right shoulder back toward the door. A burly guy stood silent guard. It would have been impossible she told herself.

"I just want to give you the money I owe you. That's it." Sid's voice was steady and said a silent prayer that it was.

He watched her again for a moment before he nodded and motioned for her to continue. She opened the small leather backpack on the table and took out the stack of cash laying them soundlessly on the table before taking a step back. He pulled the money toward him and looked it over before making a sound of approval. He popped the bands off of the stacks before running them quickly through a cash counter on the edge of the desk. It beeped and he checked the screen. Another sound of approval.

"Good. Very good. Now, here." He pushed the stacks back across the table to Sid. She looked at him with confusion.

"It's all there. You said you wanted your money back. It's all there." She felt that steadiness in her voice slipping into oblivion and giving way to a shrillness. Her anxiety spiked and she felt her chest constrict.

"I know, and thank you. You're a girl of your word. But, this money," Kru pointed at the stacks of cash, "was supposed to be delivered to a few of my businesses by your boyfriend." That smile was gone now. He was getting serious with her. He wouldn't even refer to Phil as his brother. That made her fear for his safety even more. "But it somehow ended up in your hands. So now, you have to make that delivery." Kru popped open a draw in the desk and rustled through it like some kind of nefarious school teacher before pulling out a pen and a scrap of paper.

"You know the neighborhood right?" He asked her, pausing his scribbling for a moment. "Yeah, you know it." He answered before she had the chance to. The piece of paper dangled in the air at the end of his outstretched arm. Sid's hand clamped around it.

"Where's Phil? You said you would let him go once I brought the money." Sid tried again to get him to honor their original agreement though she knew she was playing his game. Moving by his terms and his terms alone. It made her stomach swirl.

"He's not dead. Right, Luke?" Kru asked, seeming unsure.

"Not yet." Luke spat out through clenched teeth. Kru looked back at her.

"Yeah, so make these little deposits and he's all yours."

Sid was fully trembling by now. She had worked up all the courage she could to come here today and do this, the thought of seeing Phil the only thing powering her through. For him to throw one more obstacle in the way made her furious. She angrily crumpled the paper in her fist and snatched at the stacks of money. Shoving them into the backpack. It made her even more upset, the fact that she was leaving with the same weight she carried in. 

While she was zipping her backpack closed she tried to make eye contact with Bomb but he stared at her with indifference. Frenchie refused to meet her gaze. Fuck these people, Sid thought. They were supposed to be Phil's friends. Laughing, swigging from a bottle, and smoking weed, just a few weeks ago but when the shit hit the fan everyone was out for themselves. It let her know that she was not completely wrong for shutting people out. People were flighty and weak. Not to be trusted. Here Sid was climbing mountains to get him back safely and the very people who were supposed to be his friends were assisting in burying him.

Sid started heading out the door.

"I can trust you, right? I'm not going to have to come to that swanky little restaurant of yours am I?" His eyes held a playful glare that was deadly. He was enjoying this. Pulling her emotions here and there. Making her spine shiver and her head swirl. She simultaneously wanted to kill him and keep him placated at all costs.

"No, I'll deliver the money. Just...don't hurt him." She let her eyes pierce into his. For a fraction of a second, she thought she saw him waver. But before she could analyze it that joker sneer was back on. He simply turned back to watch those red and blue lines again on the screen behind him. The burly guy next to the door opened it. In a blink, she was back into the store. Cereal on one side and a freezer full of ice-cold Pepsi's on the other. A cat sauntered by on the shelves of Uncle Ben's above. Sid allowed her grip on the paper to unfurl. She needed to unload this money quickly. Phil's life was depending on it. The scribbles on the paper weren't very descriptive but as he mentioned, she knew her neighborhood. Four businesses. She could get them all done in the next hour and still be at work on time. She tugged at the straps again and strode out the front door letting the neighborhood swallow her up into its belly.