F I F T Y - T H R E E

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"Goddamn, Sid." Phil winced.

"I'm sorry. I'll stop. I can't." Sid stood back and wrung her hands together to get them to stop shaking.

"No, they need to be changed. Look, I'll just." Phil slowly reached to grab a pillow that was lying next to him on the bed. He slowly placed it over his face. "Go ahead." His muffled voice said from behind the soft fabric.

"No." Sid wouldn't come closer.

"It's fine, babe. I swear. Just do it...quick." After a few deep breaths, Sid approached Phil's bandaged ribs and started to undo the fabric. Phil groaned beneath the pillow and in spite of his obvious pain, Sid couldn't help to smile. It was just so comforting to have him here. Even if he was yelping and flexing in agony. It's just that for a while there she thought she may never be so close to him again. When he was finally released from the hospital this morning she made sure to be there to collect him. She wanted him with her and nowhere else. If it meant that she had to play nurse for a while then she was on board with it. They decided to go off the grid and hole up in Tomi's place while he healed and she waited for the other shoe to drop on the thing with Kru. All morning, in between Facetime's with Aiden and AJ, Sid and Phil lay in bed, watched old hood movies like Set It Off and Dead Presidents while Sid cooked for them and nursed him back to health. He was far from healed but the bruising in his face had subsided enough that she could see his beautiful eyes again and lose herself tracing her finger along his jaw. He was here. Finally just the two of them on this island.

She ignored the last of his groans as she peeled off the bandage covering his surgical incision exposing a neat row of stitches.

"I'm done." She placed the supplies in the nightstand while Phil removed the pillow and looked down at his stomach littered with bruising and stitches.

"I knew it felt like shit...but it looks like shit too. Won't be doing any cover shoots for a while." Sid offered a sad smile at his joke before sitting in the bed.

"It'll be all healed soon enough. Even with all this," She ran a gentle finger over the muscles of his stomach, "you'd still kill a cover shoot." The words felt silly coming from her mouth but it's something the old her would have said. It felt good to give a voice to that person again. To be light again and have someone who made her feel safe enough to do so.

"Word? I'll take that." He smiled at her and she didn't fight against the smile that spread on her lips. He cracked her wide open. If she didn't see then she saw it now.

"Want to get that shower in before we mummify you again?" Sid rose.

"Definitely. I haven't had a shower since..." Phil started. It had to be back at the hotel, Sid deduced. Before everything went fully to hell in a handbasket. Before his own brother beat him within an inch of his life. Sid jumped in to try and save Phil from the faraway look that was settling into his eyes. She headed to the bathroom that was just off of the living room.

"Well, Tomi's water pressure is better here than at the hotel anyway. And the bathroom is ten times more swanky. She's got a freaking bidet."

"Shoots water into your ass right?" Phil asked from the couch.

"Yeah. It's a weirdly satisfying feeling."

"Okay, Sid. Tell me more about your kinks."

"Shut up! Since when is enjoying a clean ass a kink?" Sid turned the ivory handles on the faucet and the shower sprang to life.

"Well, you said it's satisfying and you know I'm all about your satisfaction. So put me on."

Sid returned to the bedroom ready to give a smart reply but saw Phil trying unsuccessfully to pull himself into a seated position. She rushed to his side and placed his arm around her shoulders to help him up to standing.

They shuffled side by side to the bathroom where Sid helped him undress. After testing the temperature of the water she gathered his clothes off the floor and went to leave, and allow him some privacy and space to think. The door had almost closed behind her when she heard him speak.

"Can you stay?" His voice was barely above a whisper but it reached her none the less.

"Of course." Sid dropped the clothes into the corner as Phil opened the glass door and stepped into the shower, his brown skin popping against the cream subway tile. Sid put down the toilet lid and settled onto it as she watched the steam swirl around him. The moment seemed to require silence on her part so she didn't say anything. She'd been thinking and speaking and filling in the long silences since she picked him up but right now she resisted the urge to do that. She instead just did what he'd asked of her. She just stayed. She stole glances at him through the glass.

"Did you know where I was?"

"No"

"He had me right at home. In our mother's apartment. There's this big portrait in the living room of all of us. When I was ten my mother got us all dressed up and dragged us to JCPenney for Easter. In that picture, I'm looking up at him with this little suit on like he's larger than life. I blacked out looking up at that picture over and over." Sid thought she heard a sob catch in his throat but he coughed, groaned, and pushed it away. The water gurgled down the drain and she was sure some of his tears were mixed in there too. It had never occurred to Sid that Phil had been right in the apartment building. Right in his apartment the whole time. It seemed too brazen. Too open. Too much of a risk. But Kru didn't care about any of that. It didn't seem like anyone cared about what Kru did.

"Why didn't your mother stop him?"

"She died last year. A stroke. It's just me in there. He hasn't been there since she died but seemed to think it was a great spot to..." Phil's shoulders started quaking long before the words came out of his mouth, "Fucking evil. He's evil, Sid. And he's my brother. Am I like that too?" This time he didn't hold back his tears. He let it all out. Sid's hands were on the handle to the shower before her brain had time to process it. She stepped in, the water seeped into her clothes slowly as she wrapped her arms around him. Her chest pressed into his back. She tried to tell him through their embrace that she had already put an end to that evil in motion. That right now, Kru was out of town with Nixon doing shows and completely unaware that there would be no businesses for him to run his money through when he returned. That she was now controlling all of those spots and had sent the owners off on vacations, far out of Kru's reach. That she was just waiting for him to come to her so she could do what needed to be done. For Phil and for her.

"Sometimes evil comes into the world to show everyone what virtue looks like. You're good. So good, Phil. You are nothing like that. We are going to show him what virtue looks like." She coaxed him to turn around and look her in the eyes so he knew every word she said was true. Phil was truth. He was honesty. He was everything she was starved of. He faced her finally and looked deep into her eyes. Using one finger he pulled back the strands of hair that had become plastered to her cheek with water and replaced it with his hand. He seemed like he was about to say something but Sid didn't want words this time. It was time to stop talking and just get to the business of doing. Not just here but with her entire life. She rose up on her tiptoes and placed a kiss on his lips that she hoped erased whatever he'd meant to say from his mind. Their kiss deepened and as much as she wanted things to go further she knew that he was in no condition to do so. She didn't even really want that. Just being with him was enough. Sid pulled away and grabbed a fresh loofah and body wash. Neither of them spoke as she slid the puff of foam all over his body. Quietly in her mind, Sid hoped that they would have more moments like this in their future. This intimacy. But with Kru looming, She didn't know how this would all turn out. She wouldn't hope for more. Instead, she cherished the moment like it was her last because it may very well be.

These two literally make me melt. The way they allow one another to be broken is so wonderfully beautiful. I'm in my mushy BAG right now, lol. How are you guys feeling about things? Are you wanting Sid to face down Kru? Are you wanting her to just leave it alone and run away with Phil? Tell me. 

Okay, people! My goal is to finish up the story THIS WEEK. So stay tuned this week for a few more updates and the conclusion of "All She Can Take". Did I mention that you all are the dopest for reading this and I'm so damn happy? VOTE, COMMENT, SHARE!

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