Sid peeked through the opening of the double doors to see Nissan speaking to a row of attentive people looking like soldiers in their matching dark green chef's coats. Sid looked down at her bright white coat and contemplated taking it off. She didn't want to stand out. Didn't want to draw attention to herself or to her status in this place. But walking in wearing the jeans and t-shirt she had under it felt wrong too. She earned the right for her status to be distinguished.

But that still didn't make her feel any better so she started to slip it off her shoulders. Then she slipped it back on.

"Ugh!" she whispered, aggravated with herself. You're lucky to be alive and you're over here tripping about a damn coat? Sid shrugged the coat back up on her shoulders and buttoned it closed before smoothing her hair, which she spent thirty-two minutes wrestling into a slicked-back ponytail, and took a deep breath before pushing through the doors. She edged forward passing the pristine counters and cooktops and tried to fall in silently at the back of the bunch. Nissan stopped mid-speech. His typically furrowed brow loosened into a smile.

"Ah! Looks like we have a very special guest." Nissan said gesturing in her direction. Everyone turned to look at her and her face ran hot.

"Who me?" Sidney played coy. "No, you're the one with umm, how many Michelin stars now?"

"Just the one so far but I think another is in our future."

"Oh, just one, huh? So humble." They both shared a laugh before Nissan crossed over and embraced her. It had been more than a year since they last saw one another and enough transpired since then to make it feel like a lifetime. She held on a little tighter and allowed the hug to linger longer as she did with most people nowadays. Something in her had permanently shifted and she couldn't help but feel thankful that she was there. Alive and breathing and in a professional kitchen again no less. She released Nissan and looked at him.

"Thank you for this. I really appreciate you taking the time."

"The pleasure is all mine. I wish I had something like this when I was coming up in the business." He nodded at the students who were listening intently and trying not to look as nervous as she was sure they felt. They were the second cohort of her world-class culinary vocational training program. Their inaugural group of, what will be, NYC's finest chef's graduated from Land & Greene Community Culinary Center last month and were already working at some of the best establishments the city had to offer. She'd managed to pry Nissan away from his restaurant in Massachusetts to volunteer his time to teach a week-long intensive on cuisine. He happily agreed but not before trying to convince her to come work with him again. She turned him down and since he arrived and really got a good look at what she was doing here he understood and vowed not to try and pry her away again.

"I'm really proud of it. We have to be the change we want to see right?" She said and Nissan agreed. Sidney turned to the class.

"Hello everyone, we haven't had the chance to meet yet but don't worry we will spend plenty of time together in the coming months. For now, study at this man's feet. Soak up every technique, and trick he teaches because it will be among the most valuable things you will ever learn. I know it was for me." The students nodded eagerly. She turned the floor back over to Nissan and watched as his eyes went from light and bright to hooded and serious as he told the student to go to their stations. Sid laughed to herself before backing out of the large kitchen and traveling down to a smaller one at the end of the hallway.

She was amazed at how unrecognizable the space was. Her mind had to stretch to remember what the place looked like as the chicken joint. The one she spent so much time in throughout her life. She could barely remember the pattern on the floors even though somewhere back here was the last place she'd seen Ahsan alive. His picture hung in her office on the other side of the center now.

While she spent over three months in a halo vest locked in her mother's house, she had a lot of time to think and most of it centered around her future for once instead of her past. She had a few options now that Kru was no longer a threat hanging over her head. She could leave and go to Massachusetts and work with Nissan, but that would mean leaving AJ behind, and her heart never let her do that. She could stay and continue to work at Ito but working under a new chef and hoping he wasn't crazy wasn't on her list of wants while she healed and tried to put the pieces of her life together.

Her mind was not made up until she traveled back to Fort Greene to attend a vigil for Ahsan a few months after his death. They had finally determined that Ahsan's death was not an accidental overdose. Luke was arrested after Ahsan's phone was tracked to his home. He was also later spotted on security footage pulled from Ahsan's dorm.  Being Kru's pet dog finally screwed him over and a life sentence came down on him quickly. 

She could only imagine the grief his parents must be experiencing. At the vigil, she largely tried to give his parents space, holding herself at least partially responsible for his death so she was surprised when they approached her after the service. His mother, whom she never met, bent down to Sid in her wheelchair and wrapped her arms around her, and surprisingly thanked her. Reassured her that it wasn't her fault and that she had appreciated her trying to give them a clean slate. A chance to start over. They decided they wouldn't stay. They were going back to Lebanon permanently and hoped that she would keep the businesses but gave her their blessing to do with it whatever she'd like.

Six months later, Land & Greene opened its doors. They worked with non-profits throughout the city to fund the paid culinary apprenticeship program that she designed in between physical therapy sessions. Young people aged eighteen through twenty-four got the chance to be paid to learn how to be amazing chefs and she got to be her own boss. It was insane how life could be so beautiful right underneath the ugly. All you had to be willing to do was face it because in the end life demanded to be dealt with whether you wanted to or not.

She pushed through the doors of the second kitchen space to a flurry of activity. Sid spotted Phil reaching to grab a bottle of vanilla extract off of a shelf, the bottom of his shirt riding up to reveal the smooth brown skin on his pelvis. As she walked up behind him she resisted the urge to touch him there and instead rested a hand on his shoulder. His eyes met hers and he smiled before leaning in for a kiss. She offered him a quick peck.

"Don't y'all start that shit. I hate to see it. Breaks my goddamn heart." Frenchie piped up from her place at a counter packing the last of what looked like a long row of boxes. Sid giggled and ran over to Frenchie wrapping her in a bear hug.

"You was supposed to be my girl." Frenchie teased.

"Get over it, French. I won. Done deal." Phil tossed over his shoulder.

"I'll always be your girl," Sid whispered to Frenchie and winked.

"Don't tell me that shit." Frenchie pouted and Sid laughed. Frenchie tried to play broken-hearted but she knew better. There was no shortage of beautiful women sniffing about her at any given moment. She was more than fine.

"I thought you just sent a shipment out on Friday." Sid leaned against the counter next to Phil and watched him work.

"We did. Another huge order came in Saturday morning. The biggest one so far and they paid us double to get it out quick." Phil measured out some flour and sifted it. His technique was much better than when she watched him whip up Brothercups in her kitchen. He'd finished pastry school two months ago and got right to work perfecting his CBD-infused treats and shipping them all over the country. What started out as a small operation had quickly grown with him and Frenchie spending countless hours churning out batches of kush-ladened chocolate, brownies, and cookies.

It seemed like they were living in an upside-down world. Everyone figuring themselves in a world without Kru. Deciding who they wanted to be instead of having their fate chosen for them. Sid wished her father could see all of this. And Ahsan. She wasn't sure if this felt like justice for either of them even though their killer was dead, and in Ahsan's case, behind bars. Whatever it was, she couldn't deny that it was better. It was peace.

"So you're about to be rich rich?" Sid teased him.

"Maybe. The money is rolling in strong, baby."

"Don't forget me when you make it big." She told him. He dusted excess flour off the apron around his waist and pulled her close to him.

"If I make it big...I'm moving to Calabasas to get me a Kardashian. That's what I have to do right? It's like in the successful black man's handbook somewhere isn't?"

Frenchie cackled across the room and Sid shot both of them a dirty look.

"We're here!" Chante and Tomi burst in through the doors followed by AJ. He didn't slow his run until he skated across the floor and immediately pulled out a stool to climb and get all into what Phil was doing.

"I wanna stir." He demanded

"Say hello first!" Sid yelled.

"Hi, Phil," AJ said.

"So, he don't see me?" Sid asked Chante who was pulling her into a hug and kissing her cheek.

"Wash your hands first," Phil told AJ before he could stick both hands into the bowl full of flour. Tomi was right behind him sniffing the vanilla extract. Sid laughed at the hodgepodge group of people that were her family now. They'd been through hell and back together and she couldn't imagine rebuilding and creating the rest of her life without them by her side.

"We're going to be late and we still have to pick up Whitney." Tomi piped up.

"Okay, okay. Y'all are good?" She asked Phil.

"You know it. See you when you get home." Phil kissed her sweetly before handing a wooden spoon to AJ who was back up on the stool and ready to make a mess she was sure. She kissed his forehead.

"Alright, let's go."

Between physical therapy, opening the center, and catching up on missed time with AJ she'd barely had a minute to take a breath so the girls were taking her camping-- actually, they insisted that she call it glamping-- in the Catskills for the weekend. This hippie commune-with-nature crap had Tomi written all over it but she was down anyway. Sidney was down for anything. In six years her life hadn't afforded her many opportunities to enjoy it. When other girls were getting their first good weave and slathering glitter on themselves before hitting the clubs, she was struggling with crippling anxiety that held her captive, or wallowing in her trauma-induced depression, or being a single mom with a bank account perpetually in the negative. And if you asked her a year ago, she may have said that those things were due to her father's death. It had tarnished and poisoned everything she thought her life could be. As much as that would be an easy, and even appropriate excuse, it wasn't true. Living, smiling, breathing even — felt like a betrayal to his memory and that held her captive long after her father was gone. But after laying on those tracks faced with never taking a breath again, she would never take it for granted. The way she'd been living, that was the betrayal. 

Roland Berry would never want that. 

In this life, she would not be able to ensure that bad things would not happen to her or the people she loved but she could choose to never be captive.

Now, she could really start her life. Go glamping. Buy Oreo's with her own honest money. And finally, take the damn train wherever she wanted. Make up for time wasted and grab a hold of everything life had to offer. Besides, it was hers for the taking.

for Grandma

************************

I always get emotional when I end a story but for this one, it seems fitting. These characters are ones that I felt like I've identified with the most either through my personal journey or through the journeys of people in my life. It's hard to put Sid and Phil down but I think they're in a great place. So, that's a wrap on Sid and Phil for now unless they tell me that they have more things up their sleeves. 😈

You guys! You all been reading the f**k out of this story and I can not begin to tell you how much that means to me. There are so many great stories on Wattpad and the fact that you chose to rock with mine until the end is just...the dopest thing ever. From my little Brooklyn heart, I'm sending you all a hearty YYYYEEEERRRRRRRR 😄🤣 I truly hope you enjoyed it, cursed at it, laughed, awwwwed, cried, or learned something. Whatever it is, I'm glad we got to be in it together.

This year has been so tough for so many reasons but coming here and escaping into these stories with all of you has been a highlight and joy. 

I'm not done. I have more stories coming in 2021. Follow me to stay up on it all. Love y'all!