I Never Knew

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"He should have let you go?" Ted echoed her words. "Well thank God he didn't. You think it was easy for me? I lost Dad, too, Gracie. I was eight years old when he died. If you left me then it would have been more than I could take. It was bad enough when you went away to college."

She looked at him in surprise. "I'm sorry, Ted. I guess I couldn't see past how much I was hurting. I remember JJ had a rough time for awhile, but I always thought you just . . . really adapted."

"You said all the stuff I wanted to say, Gracie. You stood up for Dad so I didn't have to. But after a while I thought you'd let it go. You never did. It's been fifteen years, Grace. Don't you think it's time to let it go?"

"Everything just happened so fast, Ted." Grace sighed. "Honestly, it seemed like one day we were living one life. Our school, our friends, our historic home in Old Hyde Park. Then before I even had a chance to get over the shock of Dad being gone, Mom's remarried, our home is sold, and we're living in some big, flashy house on the water.

"And then when I couldn't bear it and I just wanted to get away, Jimmy has to play the evil stepfather and say no, I can't leave. And he didn't even have a reason. Just no."

Ted was uncharacteristically silent.

"What?" Grace said. "I know, I know, I should just let it go."

"It was me." Ted spoke quietly, and didn't glance over at her.

"What do you mean? What was you?"

"It was me, okay? I'm the one who took away your dreams of going to that school in North Carolina. Me. Not Jimmy."

She shook her head. "I don't understand."

"I might have acted like I was handling everything okay, Grace, but after the accident I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I felt so helpless. And I couldn't even imagine what it must have been like for you, in the water, holding onto Dad, waiting for. . ." He stopped and took a deep breath.

"But you went through all that and it seemed like you came out stronger than ever. You didn't hide in your room and cry. You went with Mom and hired a lawyer and you were going to go to court and make those bastards pay. And you did. You and Jimmy made them pay. You were my heroes, both of you. And when Mom fell in love with Jimmy, I don't know, it just made sense. Nothing was going bring Dad back."

"No," Grace said softly, "nothing was going to bring him back."

"I'm a selfish person, Grace."

"No, Ted-"

"Yeah, I am. You were so mad when Mom started dating Jimmy. Then you applied to that school and you didn't tell anyone until the acceptance letter came, and then you kept after Mom until she gave in. I was too ashamed to tell you I couldn't stand it if you left."

"So you told Jimmy."

"We were on the way back from Little League. They'd only been married a month or so, and he was helping out with coaching. I'd been a real jerk all practice. Threw the bat when I struck out. Even got into a fight with another kid on the team, and got a bloody lip. So Jimmy says what got into you today, and I gave him some smart answer, and he pulled the car right over and I thought, now I'm gonna' get it. But he put his hand on my shoulder and said, you'll have some rough days, buddy, but you'll get through it. Nobody expects you to be perfect.

"And I just started bawling like a baby. It all came out, how scared I was about you leaving, how angry I was at Dad for dying, how bad I needed you to stay. He asked me if I'd told you how I felt and I said I couldn't. And he said, don't worry about it.

"I said you'd hate me. He looked at me then, and he said, Ted, did you ever think maybe your sister needs you as much as you need her?

"I let you hate him for it, Gracie. I let you hate him for it and it was me."

Grace thought back to the four years she spent there, living in the house on the beach. She saw herself cheering Ted on at the soccer field. Sitting in the stands at Little League games when he batted in the winning run, or caught the fly. The crazy cast party after the middle school play when Ted thought it was a good idea to reenact his part from the balcony over the pool deck, slipped and ended up with a broken arm.

And felt a twinge of guilt that the only reason she'd been there for any of that was because Jimmy wouldn't let her leave.

"Forget about it, I'm glad I stayed," Grace said, realizing as she said it that she meant it.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I would have been miserable without you and JJ to boss around."

Ted grinned. "So Jimmy gets a pass after all these years?"

"Well, I still don't like being told what to do."

"There's an understatement," Ted said. He shifted back to the more comfortable territory of sibling rivalry. "So how's law in the big city? Busy trampling the rights of the workers for your huge corporate clients?"

"So how's medical school? Cut up any dead bodies yet?"

"Har har. All in the name of science. Seriously, wait 'till I tell you this one." He glanced up at a sign and changed lanes. "You wanna' go through a drive-through, get a latte or something?"

"Why not? Listening to you talk about dissecting cadavers always gives me an appetite."

"Sure you don't want to go to medical school? My anatomy professor would just love you."

"I think I'll stick to the law."

"You have learned well, Grasshopper."

She punched him in the shoulder and grinned. Sometimes it really was nice to be home again.

* * *

In Jack's opinion, this was not a case that was going to be won through brilliant legal strategy. What was called for more likely was some serious groveling on Morrie's part. He doubted if Shelley really wanted to keep this whole dispute going long enough the kill the merger with RKO, but between Morrie and Shelley it was a toss up which one was more stubborn. But since Grace was set on having a work session to prepare Morrie for his upcoming deposition, Jack had set it up for brunch on Saturday at a local IHOP.

Grace had showed up in what he imagined was her idea of business casual. She was wearing a silky peach-colored blouse that somehow made her skin look more golden, and trim grey pants. Her shoes were a shiny red leather with low heels and some kind of designer insignia. She'd pulled her hair back neatly in a clip at the base of her neck, and the pearl studs in her ears coordinated with the silver and pearl necklace that rested against her shirt. Jack was perfectly comfortable in his cargo shorts, boat shoes, and faded polo shirt, but he had to admit he liked looking at the way Grace was put together. And couldn't help wondering if what she wore under her clothes was as nicely coordinated.

They'd only been at it for about ten minutes, and Morrie was already grumbling.

"I don't know why I have to 'prepare' just to sit down and answer a bunch of stupid questions," Morrie said, as he pushed his eggs around on his plate.

Jack congratulated himself that at least by making it brunch instead of an office meeting, they had a better chance Morrie wouldn't just walk out. Regardless, Jack was sure the deposition on Tuesday was going to be a train wreck.

"Let's just go over a few questions, Morrie." Grace leaned forward. "Suppose she asks you, why did you fire Shelley?"

"Because she stopped having sex with me."

"Let's rethink that answer." Grace took a sip of coffee. "Morrie. Didn't you tell me what started all this was an R&D project Shelley was pushing, that you wanted to put the brakes on?"

"Yeah, yeah, that's what I said before. And when she didn't get her way, she gets all high and mighty and-"

"Okay," Grace said. "Listen. This case is not about sex. It's about control. You are the president of the company, right?"

"Yes."

"And Shelley was an employee. An important employee, but still an employee. She may have been the director of research and development, but you had the final say, right?"

"Damn straight."

"And Shelley lured you into a sexual relationship so she could manipulate you into allowing her to control critical market decisions and, ultimately, the future of the company."

Jack choked and almost spit out his coffee.

"Yeah," Morrie said, warming up to the subject. "You're right. I never really thought about it that way."

"Well, start thinking about it that way now."

By the time Morrie pushed his chair back and drained his last cup of coffee, Jack was beginning to think the deposition on Tuesday might not be a total disaster after all.

The three of them walked out to the parking lot, and after a few last moment reminders for Tuesday, Morrie was on his way.

"Pretty slick, counselor," Jack said, starting to realize how well-deserved Jimmy's name was for her after all.

"Thank you."

"Morrie might actually sell it on Tuesday. Shelley as the master manipulator." He shook his head.

"Well, she's come pretty close to derailing the whole deal with RKO. So maybe 'master manipulator' isn't as off as you think."

Yeah right. "First rule of litigation strategy, Grace: don't start believing your own bullshit."

"You hold the facts up to a room full of mirrors, Jack, and every reflection is going to look a little bit different."

He laughed, and leaned against the passenger door of his car, tossing the keys gently in his hand. "I know we were going to go back to the office and go over a couple files, but I think we've probably accomplished everything we need to today."

"Ok, so I'll see you-"

"So I was thinking," he continued as if she hadn't interrupted, "the time might be better spent taking a drive along the coast and discussing our overall strategy."

Grace looked at him skeptically. "We could have done that in the restaurant."

"I've had enough coffee."

Grace looked at her watch, and Jack leaned around her.

"What are you . . . oh," she said, as he opened the car door.

She actually seemed flustered, a fact Jack found intriguing. "I'm talking you into my car Grace, not my bed." He paused, noting the slight flush that spread across her face. "For now, anyway." Cool as a cucumber when she told Morrie what to say and how to say it, and pulled a dead dog loser of a case back into a fight they might actually win. But let him get in her personal space for even a moment, and she got nervous. Really nervous. By God, he found the contradiction appealing.

He gave her a lazy grin. "Do all your devastatingly attractive co-counsel affect you this way, or is it just me?"

Her cool façade snapped back into place. "I don't know what you're talking about." She pushed the car door back shut firmly. "And I don't have time to do this today."

"Yeah, you do," Jack said.

"I –"

"Stop playing games, Grace. You know exactly what I'm talking about."

He saw the temper flash in her eyes, her lips parting with some smart retort she didn't have the chance to say before he moved in closer, and the temper in her eyes shifted to sudden awareness. She leaned toward him, and he covered her mouth with his. He'd intended a light touch, just a taste, but he hadn't anticipated the way she would feel in his arms, how firmly her body would fit against his. He put his arm around her waist and yanked her tighter against him while his lips took hers with a rough passion that surprised even himself. And the cooly composed Grace was kissing him back with heat that would have startled him if he'd had time to think, if his brain was even processing at that point. 

His hand was on the back of her neck, tangled in her hair, tilting her head for better access to that trembling mouth, to the sweet taste of her that he couldn't get enough of. The clip sprung loose, releasing her hair, and he smelled the fresh scent of lemons and exotic flowers. One of them moaned and he wasn't sure if it was her or him. A car horn blared in the distance, and he heard the sounds of other customers leaving the restaurant, muted as if from a great distance, but enough to partially bring him back to his senses. He was the one who broke contact, putting a few inches between them, enough so they could breathe again.

She stared up at him, her lips swollen and her eyes slowly coming back into focus.

"I lied Grace. I don't want you in my car. I want you in my bed. Come home with me now." His voice was raw with need. He wanted to open that silky blouse one button at a time and find out what lacy secrets were hidden underneath. Slip her out of her stylish pants and feel those long smooth legs wrapped around his waist.

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