Chapter 13 | the distractions

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One month.

It's been nearly a month since I've seen Aurora. Yet the need and attraction I feel for her hasn't gotten any better. In fact, it's intensified. That night on my couch has been something that's been stuck on replay in my mind nearly every day since I last saw her on the morning after.

I can't get the feeling of her body around me, or of her lips against mine, or the memories of the sounds she made while I touched her out of my brain. It's almost maddening too because it's not for lack of trying.

The night after we agreed to take some space that morning, Cassidy texted me and asked if I wanted to hang out. I'd jumped at the opportunity, hoping that I just needed to fuck and get this pent-up desire out of my system.

But ... it didn't help.

It felt wrong with Cassidy, the mind-numbing pleasure I'd felt from watching Aurora react to my movements nowhere to be found, and I left Cassidy's apartment feeling sick. Especially because she hasn't left me alone since, texting me to hang out again because she liked me and wanted to explore our attraction.

Part of me wished I was as attracted to Cassidy as I am to Aurora. Then it would be easy for me to get distracted and forget about that night. But it hadn't been easy, far from it, I'd spent the last few weeks either getting high, getting drunk, or hooking up with a slew of random girls who threw themselves at me whenever Dallas, Lukas and I went out.

I liked hanging out with them. But I missed the entire group, specifically Aurora.

And she never seemed to be around, even when Maddie and River came out with us last weekend. No one discussed it either, which made me suspect that Aurora hadn't mentioned it, something that both relieved and disappointed me.

I know we agreed to give each other space.

That we agreed to hang out with other people, but I'd had my space and I didn't like it. Despite this, I knew I was still the one who said I'd check-in with her after two weeks, and I hadn't. I don't exactly know why, especially not when I wanted nothing more than to see her again.

Deep down I know it's because I'm conflicted. I'm torn between keeping my hands to myself, like I'd adamantly promised Ryder I would nearly three years ago now and doing the exact opposite again.

I'd already broken my promise though. There's part of me that thinks this is just natural, sexual attraction. I'd always known Aurora is a gorgeous girl, hell, I might have even had a crush on her at one time in my life, but this is different.

A high school crush is harmless.

Wanting to fuck my best friend's sister is not.

Even still, I'm a grown man and she's a grown woman now. Maybe it was only a matter of time before we both realized we'd each grown up and could fulfill our natural urges with one another. It's not just purely superficial either, we'd always got along in our own way. Bickering and teasing one another, and I think there's part of me that yearns for that too.

So, when Dallas invited me to come smoke at their house this afternoon, I said 'yes', partially because we had a good time together and because part of me hoped Aurora might finally be there. I knew it was wrong, the guilt of wanting her so badly was eating me alive too, but I couldn't help it anymore.

We agreed we can't touch each other again, but I still want to see her, no matter if it's just as friends.

"What's up dude?" Dallas greets as soon as I text him that I'm out front. I nod, greeting him as we clap each other on the backs. "My coworker that you met a couple nights ago will not stop asking me for your number."

"The chick with the tattoos?" I ask and he nods, grinning as we move through the quiet house and to the backyard. I spot Lukas there, a rolling trey in his lap.

"She thinks you're hot," he explains. "And funny."

I have a brief memory then of me cracking jokes with this girl while she gave me free shots of whiskey. But then, I'd been so drunk, I barely remember getting home, let alone much else.

"Sup man," Lukas nods to me as Dallas and I join him in the circle of lawn chairs they'd set out. "I got a new strain for us to try."

"What's it called?" I ask and Lukas grabs the container next to him, tossing it to me as I catch and read the label. Lavender Jones. "You tried it yet?"

"I have," Dallas nods. "Shit is dank."

"Nice," I nod. "I need a good distraction right now."

"From what?" Lukas asks, licking the blunt he's finished rolling and then burning it a bit with his lighter to seal it. "Some bitch getting on your nerves?"

"Nah," I shake my head, sliding my sunglasses over my eyes from where they'd been tucked into my hair. "Just got a lot on my mind lately."

"Well, Amanda," Dallas adds. "My coworker, would gladly distract you."

"You can give her my number." I grin and Dallas smirks.

"I gotta be honest though," Lukas chimes in then, lighting the blunt and taking a long drag before passing it to me. "Having a girlfriend is better than playing the field."

"Speak for yourself," I laugh, inhaling from the blunt and then letting the smoke puff around me.

"Yeah, you can't keep a man in his prime down." Dallas agrees as the blunt makes its way around the circle. "Not with a track record like you've been pulling recently."

I nod, though little do they know I've been pulling in an attempt to get one specific girl out of my mind. But, as I'm quickly discovering, it's not working. It also doesn't help that Ryder and I played Call of Duty on Discord the other day, during which he asked what I'd been up to in Boulder. Then I had to actively avoid blurting out that I was trying to forget bringing his sister to orgasm on her birthday.

"You'll see," Lukas continues. "You'll meet a girl one day and then you'll understand why Dallas and I settled down."

"Uh huh," I nod, taking another hit. "Sure."

We pass the blunt around the circle a couple times, the topic of conversation quickly shifting from girls to the investment app that Lukas had taken a specific liking to on his phone. They might as well sponsor him too based on the way he keeps bringing it up in an attempt to convince Dallas and I to download it onto our phones.

Soon, though I am high as a kite and the cotton mouth has settled in, bringing me to go back inside to their kitchen in search of a glass of water. Dallas asks for one too, and I nod, pulling open the sliding glass door as I step back inside their house, pushing my shades back on top of my head.

I shut the door, and then hear a light gasp from behind me. I turn my head, grinning when I see Aurora standing there, paused in her unloading of a reusable bag from Trader Joes. Indicating she'd just been out grocery shopping.

"W—what are you doing?" She stutters, blinking like she almost couldn't believe I was here, in her kitchen after not seeing each other for a while now.

"Getting a glass of water." I saw casually, moving to a cabinet to grab a couple glasses before I fill them at the sink. I can feel her eyes on me as I turn, sipping the water and allowing my gaze to take her in. She's dressed a light blue set of athletic wear that hugs her body in a way that should be unfair.

I note her skin tanned and glistening with a fine layer of sweat from being outside under the warm, midday sun. My senses suddenly filled with memory of her taste, of the way her body shivered under my mouth as I'd sucked on her nipples. Her long dark hair is straight, tucked behind her ears and falling down her back.

"No," she pauses, shaking her head. "No, I meant, what are you doing here?"

"Smoking with Dallas and Lukas," I answer easily, and she frowns, looking irritated.

"You three have been hanging out a lot recently," she comments, grabbing a carton of almond milk and turning to place it in the fridge. I admire her ass from here, it looks especially round and plump in the leggings she's wearing. "Haven't you?"

I smirk when she spins back around to face me, raising a perfect eyebrow at me.

"Yeah," I say slowly, not understanding where her attitude is coming from.

"So, I guess you've been enjoying your space then." she shrugs, unpacking a few more groceries and moving around the kitchen. Moving pointedly around me, keeping her distance.

I laugh lightly, suddenly feeling that she's been having as hard of a time as I have been.

"What makes you think that?"

"I get to hear about all your little adventures with those two the day after," she explains. "How many girls have you gone home with in the past month? Almost twenty?"

"Haven't been counting," I shrug as I take another sip of water, suddenly in the mood to tease her, especially because that weed strain has me feeling extremely chilled out. "But good to know that you have."

"I haven't." She protests, slamming a box of cereal down and giving me a fiery look. Something like anger in her eyes, and it sends a jolt of need straight to my cock.

"I really could care less," she continues, gesturing with her hand. "I just expected you to check-in. Remember, like you said you would?"

"You could've called me too you know." I remind her and she narrows her eyes.

"Fuck you, Wyatt." She hisses, marching around me to put the box of cereal away and I seize the opportunity to get closer. Her is back turned to me, standing on tip toe to get the box onto the highest shelf. I move forward, caging her in with my body against the countertop like I did forever ago that night in my kitchen.

She smells intoxicating. Her perfume and the scent of her shampoo wafting over me with our proximity, something that'd been plaguing me too. No matter how many times I washed my sheets, I swear I could still tell she'd been there, sleeping in my bed with me.

I take the box from her, easily reaching the top shelf and placing it there. She seems to shiver, turning around slowly, eyes wide at how suddenly close I am to her. I watch her carefully, breathing deeply and still feeling the tension between us. Just as I suspected, space hasn't helped either one of us.

"Thanks." She whispers, swallowing hard as she gazes up at me.

"So, how have you enjoyed taking some space?" I ask lowly, studying her face and appreciating how clean her skin in, free of any makeup. Freckles cover her nose and cheeks, her big green eyes looking at me like she wanted to hit me and maybe something else too.

"Yep," she says, her lips popping around the letter 'p'. "In fact, I'm going on a date tonight. Seems promising."

"Really?" I question, something flipping inside me, despite also wanting to egg her on.

"Uh huh," she nods. "Really. His name is Bryant and he's really nice."

"As nice as me?" I smirk, my gaze moving between her eyes and full lips.

"Nicer actually." She retorts easily and I chuckle. "There's no comparison, not when you're just supposed to be my friend, right?"

"Right." I nod, pressing closer and feeling heat radiate off her body. She gasps a bit, trying to get farther away against the counter, but there's nowhere to go. Something in her expression tells me she knows what I'm trying to do, and then there's a sudden shift in her gaze.

"Although, I guess I should know better," she smiles now. "What kind-of would friend stick his hand down my pants only to disappear for a month without calling?"

"I thought—"

"Yeah, we agreed to space and then checking-in because I thought we liked hanging out with each other," she continues. "Not for you to go completely a-wall."

"Sorry," I mutter, suddenly feeling guilty as my gaze softens because she's right. "I just—I didn't want to fuck up again because I still can't get you off my mind."

"I know," she sighs, pouting a bit and suddenly pressing closer. I know what she's doing and its working. "I haven't forgotten about what you can do with your hands. Makes me wonder what else you can do."

"And you want to find out?" I ask, returning her pressure and moving so our bodies are flush against one another. Something heats behind her gaze, and I know she can feel me straining behind my Nike joggers, my dick swelling at the memory of our bodies being this close.

"No." she says firmly, uncertain again as she looks up at me. I trail my gaze down her body, unable to miss the way her nipples are pressing through the top she's wearing.

"Liar." I correct, leaning down to her ear so I can whisper. "Your body says otherwise."

Then her hands shove me back, my feet stumbling a bit as I laugh in surprise.

"You're a dick." She hisses, stepping around me and putting a few more things away in her fridge. I turn, following her with my gaze as she folds up the reusable bag and takes a deep breath.

"Look," I mutter. "I'm trying to do the right thing here, but I didn't mean to not call. It's like I said, I'm still confused. I do want to hang out again though."

"How is that supposed to work?" she questions. "I mean—we were just, we can't even spend five minutes together without mentioning my birthday."

"I don't know." I shake my head, knowing that she's right again. My body is drawn to hers now, it's clear that space can't undo that. But maybe if we have more practice being around one another, I can figure out how to control it.

"Well," she sighs, something in her expression softening. "I want to hang out again too. I kind of miss having you around."

"Only kind of?" I joke and we both laugh.

"Fine." She huffs. "I do miss you, and I think we should try being friends. We just have to control ourselves."

"Alright," I grin. "I can try."

But even as I agree to give it a try, I already know the battle is lost on my side at least. It's like my grandma always used to say when we were kids.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.  

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