Jamila
April 2,2016
Chapter 43

I ran my hand down my face as I called Rain for the 5th time today. Her birthday was two days ago and I haven't heard or seen her since we had lunch at her job a few weeks ago. I know she was getting flooded at work. I sighed and looked at the clock in my car. I had drove over to her crib after I got done with my shift. I saw both of her cars in her spaces so I know she is home. I have banged on her door and everything. I was getting super worried. We only been together a month or so and she was already ignoring me. She had me feeling like shit.

I had texted Miguel and Nora to see if they heard from her. I was waiting to hear back from them. I let out a breath of relief when my phone dinged and Miguel named popped up telling me to get the spare key to her house from under the fender of her car. I got out of my car and walked over to hers to feel a little box under the fender I opened it and got the key. I sighed and walked into the lobby of her building. I walked over and press the up button on the elevator as soon as I got on a heard my phone ding again. I opened up the message and read it. I felt my heart jump out of my body.

'Papi's Husband'
Please Hurry!

That was all of the message as soon as the doors open I took off in a slight jog towards her apartment.

"FUCK!" I heard Rain yell as I opened the door

She had the music turned all the way up in her living room that was trashed. I walked over to her stereo and turned it off.

"Go away Miguel," she yelled out.

I bit my bottom lip as I walked around some broken piece of glass on her floor. I walked by the kitchen and saw three rows of empty liquor bottles. She had drank 4 bottles of Jack, 4 bottles of Henny, and 4 bottles of crown royal. I bit my lip as my eyes scanned over two empty pill bottle containers. I picked them up as tears flooded my vision. She was taking Xanax. Her anxiety must be pretty bad if she mixing this with alcohol. I wiped my face and gather as much strength as I could to face my girlfriend.

I slowly walked to her room. It was clean but empty. I made my way to her bathroom and closet all empty. I looked down the hall at the cracked door. I jog down the hall and opened the door. The room was actually nice as. It had two black leather couches both pushed against opposite walls. There was a keyboard setup next to a drum set. On the walls were old jazz posters with Ella Fitzgerald on it and one with Duke Ellington. It was also couple from movies like Mo better Blues ,Harlem Nights and one from when Eartha Kitt played in Batman. The lights in the room where low and it was relaxing. I looked over to see a half empty pill bottle laying on the dark blue carpet.

I let my eyes follow the path of the bottle to see Rain laying on her back with a bottle of Henny in her hand that she had resting on her stomach.

"Fuck Miguel leave me alone man," she hissed.

I jumped a bit before I walked over to her. I stood over her as my eyes watered. She was drunk as fuck. High as shit. She slowly opened her eyes and furrowed her eyebrows. Once her light brown eyes focused on me she licked her lips and gave me a sexy as smirk that made my panties get a bit wet. Her eyes were low as hell and red. Her ponytail was a bit sloppy but it did work with her black slacks, dress shoes,and the fact she had on a black beater with white suspenders over it made me bit down on my bottom lip.

"What are you doing here Ms. Rose?"

I watched as she sat up and propped herself up and leaned against the couch as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a blunt.

"I came to check on you," I said as I kneeled infront of her.

She smirked and lit the blunt as she laid her head back on the couch.

"I'm fine Ms. Rose," she mumbled as she exhaled the smoke.

"You're not fine," I semi yelled as I watched her lower her head and smirk at me.

I took the blunt from her and placed it in the ashtray that was littered with roaches and the tips from blacks. She was trying to kill her self and I wasn't going to let her do that. I grabbed her hands and pulled her up. She licked her lips and smirked as she wrapped her arms around my waist and sat down on the couch. I moved her hands and kneeled down in front of her. I grabbed her face and checked her eyes to make sure she was okay. She grabbed my hands and pulled me onto her lap and laid down. She turned our bodies to the side with her being on the inside of the couch and me on the outside. She smelled like liquor and weed.

"A queen never bows," she said and kissed behind my ear.

"Have you eaten?" I asked her as her hand slowly made its way up my scrub shirt.

"No. Are you offering to feed me?" She asked.

I let out a small moan as she kissed my neck and squeezed my waist with her other hand. Fuck. Her body heat was rising but she was being so gentle. It felt so good but I knew she was drunk off her ass. I really couldn't take advantage of her like this. I bit down on my bottom lip as she bites and sucks on my neck. I drop my keys I had in my hand on the floor. Her hand was massaging my right breast so damn slowly and firmly.

"Stop baby," I moaned out.

"You don't like it baby?" She asked me.

I groaned as her accent slipped out. I smiled a bit at the way baby rolled off her tongue. If she wasn't fucked up I would let her sex me. But she was and my caretaking instinct was strong as hell right now. She needed me in a non sexual way.

"I do just not now. Let's get you feed and in a shower," I told her.

I felt her lay her head against mines.

"Why are you here then?" She asked as her voice got low.

"I was worried about you," I said as I slowly stood up and her hands fell from my body.

"For what?" She said and looked at me with no expression on her face.

"Because I haven't heard from my girlfriend in damn near 3 weeks and you stood me up on your damn birthday," I said as my anger started to lace every word I spoke.

"I'm good. You can lock yaself out," she said as she crawled off the couch and over to the bottle of Henny I took from her.

I walked over and took the bottle from her. She looked at me and laughed. She shook her head.

"Are you fucking for real right now Rainie?" I said as I threw the bottle at the wall.

I was piss. She was treating me like shit and I didn't need that right now. I already had a fucked up 3 weeks because of her and she gonna sit here like my emotions and feelings don't exist.

I felt my phone vibrate and ding in my pocket. I took it out and saw that Miguel texted me and told me to be aggressive and don't get scared.

I looked at her as she crossed her legs and leaned back on her elbows. She had a nasty ass smirk playing on her lips. She grabbed the blunt. I bent down and took it out of her mouth. I watched as she sighed.

"Jamila give me my shit back ma," she said and looked up at the ceiling.

"No," I said.

"Well get out. I'll hit you up later," she said and licked her lips.

"Rainie what would yo pops say if he saw you like this?" I asked her.

"Leave him out of this," she hissed.

"He would be piss right?" I asked her.

Before I knew it Rain had got up and backed me against the wall. She slammed her hands above my head. I jumped and flinched as flashbacks of my last relationship went similar to this. I kept what Miguel told me in my head. Don't be scared.

"Keep his name out ya mouth Ms. Rose," she hissed.

"Rain he's dead," I whispered.

"What?" She asked me as she shook her head.

"Your dad is dead," I said.

I watched as her eyes started to glaze over.

"Shut up and get the fuck out," she whispered.

"Rain he's gone let him go," I said

"Get out my damn house!" She yelled at me.

"He is dead!" I yelled back as I pushed her away from me.

I felt the tears roll down my cheek. My heart was breaking and I was scared. She was just staring at me.

"He's dead,"'she said as she backed away from me even more and stumbled a bit.

"Yes Rain! It's okay to hurt baby. Just don't shut me out," I said as I walked over to her.

"What am I gonna do?" She mumbled.

"Rain," I said softly as I touched her cheek.

"Don't fucking touch me and act like you care," her voice was cold and distant.

I licked my lips and placed my hands on the sides of her face. I pulled her gaze to me.
She was in some sort of trance just mumbling. She moved my hand and sat down on the couch.

"Look at me Rain," I said as my voice started to shake.

I was scared she might turn on me but I tried not to show it. I had to let her know I was here for her. That I care for her more than any other girl has ever cared for her. I watched as her eyes soften as she stares at me.

"I'm sorry Mila. If you wanna leave you can. Everybody leaves me," she said and stared at her black Stacy Adams shoes.

"My pops left me. I can't hold relationships with females because they leave me or push me away. The one person I had in this world is gone. My mother didn't even fucking want me and I don't even know who the fuck she is. The bitches in foster care I was forced to stay with didn't want me when they found out my pops wasn't nothing to fuck with and they would never get anything out of him ," she said.

"I'm fucking worthless. I shouldn't even be here. I have nothing or nobody that needs me," she mumbled.

I watched as she sat there numb. I walked over and kneeled down infront of her. I placed my hands on her thighs.

"I won't leave you. I need you. Nora and Miguel need you ," I told her as I leaned up and started to rub her ear.

"No. They all leave. I'm just not meant to have somebody anymore," she mumbled and looked at me.

"I'm not leaving you Rain," I said and pressed my forehead against hers.

"Rain please. I need you," I said as the tears threaten to break free from the barrier I was trying to hold up.

I stood up and sat on her lap sideways and pulled her into my my body.

"He's dead,"'she whispered as she broke down and cried in my arms.

I rubbed her ears as she cried harder making my own tears fall from my eyes.

"Fuck,"'she said.

As her chest heaved up and down against mines. I think this might be the first time she has cried. I rubbed my baby's ears as she cried into my shirt. I felt my own tears slide down my face. I don't think she has ever been comforted by anybody other then her dad.

I was still rubbing her ears when I felt her body tensed up. She had been holding me so damn tight for like 30 mins not saying anything. I was actually loving how she was holding me it made me feel safe and wanted.

"I'm so sorry," she said just above a whisper.

"Did you cry when your pops died?" I asked her.

"No," she said and pulled me closer.

"Why not?" I asked her.

"I had to be strong. A lot got thrown at me when he died," she said.

I nodded my head. That explains a lot.

"You had some shitty exes if they didn't take care of you after that," I said and got a little mad.

I looked over at her keyboard.

"Play me something Rain," I said and pulled her head away from my shoulder.

Her eyes were red and puffy. Her face was stained with tears. I have never seen someone so broken before. I felt her place her hands on my cheeks and wipe the tears that had started to flow again.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry or be so fucking mean to you Ms. Rose ," She said.

I placed my hands on top of hers. Something just kept telling me to have her play something.

"Make it up to me and play something," I said.

I watched her smirk and place a soft kiss on my lips. I slowly pulled back and got off her lap. I held out my hand and she took it as she smiled at me and stood up. I led her over to the keyboard.

"I'm use to gospel. So let me see if I can remember anything that's not gospel," she said and ran her hands over her face as she sat down.

I smiled as she turned on the keyboard. I made my way back over to the couch and sat down. I looked at the blunt that was sitting on the couch.

"Don't smoke that Ms. Rose," she said as she looked at me.

"Why not?" I asked her.

I watched as she pressed a couple of keys. She looked relaxed and back to her regular self almost. She was still drunk though. I watched as she began to play. Her fingers gliding against the keys.

" I crushed up my anxiety pills and laced it there," she said and laughed.

"Damn it Rain you can't mix this shit like that," I groaned and put the blunt in the astray.

She looked at me and smiled as she shrugged her shoulders. I'm taking her fucking pills from her. She can call me if she needs them. I wasn't gonna let her come into my ER overdosing on this shit. That would break me.

"Name a song," she said as she looked at me and played something that sound like smooth jazz.

I laid back on the couch and licked my lips as I thought of a couple songs.

"Play So Sick by Neyo," I said and smirked.

She smiled and nodded her head as she began to play the song so smoothly. I watched as she looked down at the keys. She looked so focus on the music. I listen as she got to the chorus. I smirked as she looked up at me and nodded her head. I watched as she started to play a different song. I smirked as she switch the song to Thinking about you by Frank Ocean.

I smiled as she winked at me and kept playing. I felt myself smile and get a warm feeling all over my body. It was like she was making love to me through music. I like this Rain. Music had to be a outlet for her. It seemed like it eased her mind a lot better than these pills. It made me feel better too. I felt my body get warm. I felt my smiled get brighter as I watched her move her fingers so gracefully against the keyboard.

"Can you play my favorite song?" I asked her.

I watched as she smirked and licked her lips. If she could managed to play my song then I would probably just jump her. I watched as she changed the sound of the keyboard.

I bit down on my bottom lip as she began to play Donell Jones Where I wanna be. I smiled hard as fuck as I watched her play. I sat up and watched as she held her head to the left and let her fingers move effortlessly across the keyboard. I slowly got up and walked over to her and placed my arms around her neck. She kept playing. I felt my body get hot all over.

"Play your favorite song," I said as I kissed behind her ear.

She started to play softer.

"You are my favorite song," she said.

I felt my cheeks get hot and I let out a small giggle. I watched as she scooted over and never stop playing allowing me to sit next to her. I placed my head on her shoulder as she kissed my forehead.

"I got two I love to play," she said as she switch the keyboard back to sound like a piano again.

"Both," I said.

I watched as she nodded and began to play Neyo's Mad. I watched as her fingers made their way across the keys to make the song sound even better than it already did. I watched as she closed her eyes and slowly rocked side to side. Her facial expression soften, she was in another world.

I smiled as she started to play Footsteps in the Dark by the Isley Brothers. I damn near melted. She looked down at me and winked. I think I was definitely falling for her hard. Hearing her play made up for the fact she almost kicked my ass earlier.

"Rain," I said.

"Yes Ms. Rose,"

"Have you ever played for any other of yo girlfriends?" I asked her.

She looked at me and smiled.

"You are the first," she said.

Her accent was gone but her words were still lazy with all the substance she had in her system.

"Can you play your pops favorite song ?" I asked her.

"To tell the truth me and my pops have the same favorite song. I rarely play it anymore because it makes me sad as fuck. But since I was an ass to you I will play it," she said and smirked.

I smiled as she began to play Knocks me off my feet by Stevie Wonder. I felt my panties get wet. I never realized how beautiful the song was until she started playing it.I placed my hands on the side of her face and brought her into a slow kiss. I slowly pulled back as her hands fell off the the keyboard.

"I think I love it when you play," I told her.

"I think I love it when I play too," She and pecked my lips.

"Can you play for me every now and then?" I asked her and rubbed the side of her face.

"I will play for you forever," she said.

I smiled and kissed her again. I pulled back and placed my hand on her chest.

"Let's get you cleaned up and then we can go out for dinner," I told her.

She nodded her head and stood up. I stood up too and she grabbed my hand leading out of the room.

"Thanks for making me play again," she said as she walked us into her room.

"Your welcome," I said and sat down on her bed.

"Hey you just wanna order some food and we can chill here? I dont wanna go out in public," she asked me and rubbed the back of her head.

"Yeah," I said.

"Come take a bath with me. I will give you some clothes to put on," she said.

I nodded my head and got up as we made our way to the bathroom.

"As long as it's not a suit Stormy," I said and giggled.

"Damn you gonna start calling me that too?" she said and laughed.

"It's a little bit sexy," I told her.

"You think so?" She asked me.

I smirked and nodded my head as she started the shower.

"Wanna know a secret?" She asked me as I walked in front of her and pushed her suspenders down.

I watched as she raised her eyebrow.

"Yeah," I said as her arms made their way