Chapter Two

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 Gracie~

Friends and family members swarmed me from all directions, grabbing for my left hand wanting to see the thin band and tiny diamond that was now strangling my finger.

Smile Grace, remember to smile and make it believable.

I coached myself, trying to make everyone buy the bullshit I was selling. Part of me thought that If I could get them to believe that I was a happy bride-to-be, maybe I'd start to believe it myself, but it didn't work, because I knew better. I would never be that person - not with Colt.

My parents hugged and kissed me and my mother had tears pooling in her eyes as she cupped my face gently.

Are those happy tears or sad tears mom? Can you see me - truly see me right now?

The worst part was that I was in a hell of my own making. I had worked so hard to convince everyone that my relationship with Colt was healthy that none of them knew how bad things really were. Defending Colt had become second nature to me, to the point where I had become a professional. I had become too good at hiding who Colt truly was, and had everyone fooled.

Hands were touching me from all directions, hugging me and holding me up when I felt like my legs were trying to give out, which I was secretly grateful for at the moment because I was on the brink of a full blown panic attack that threatened to buckle my knees.

The air was thick - too thick to breathe and my dress felt like it had shrunk a few sizes in the time I had been standing there. Fabric constricted against my heaving chest and I tried to school my expression, but even my well rehearsed fake smile had its limits.

"This bride-to-be needs to find a bathroom before we go" I joked in the happiest voice I could muster, eliciting laughter from my friends and family as the crowd parted enough for me to make my way back into the restaurant.

I forced my legs to carry me toward the bathroom, keeping my eyes laser focused on the safe haven and wanting nothing more than to close myself into one of the bathroom stalls so I could be alone and process what I had just done.

Just as I had rounded the corner and reached the bathroom door, a hand wrapped around my arm - a hand that was far too harsh and familiar to go unrecognized.

"What the fuck was that Grace?" Colt spat the words out as he grabbed hold of my forearm, digging his fingers into my flesh.

That's going to leave a mark, probably several.

I turned to face him, looking up at him slightly. At 5'2 my small frame made it easy for his 5'9 to appear tall, but in my heels I was nearly eye level with him, which he didn't enjoy in the least. In fact if you looked up little man's syndrome in the dictionary, you might find a picture of Colt on display.

"What was what?" I asked, trying to pull my arm from his hold.

"You hesitated and you fucking embarrassed me." Colt was fuming and I thanked my lucky stars that we were in a public setting.

"I...it...it was a big decision Colt." I hissed, wrenching my arm out of his grasp

"After six years together it's a big decision? This right here is a formality. You're mine Grace." Colt's tone was so hateful that my body had a physical reaction to it. My muscles contracted and my stomach churned as he claimed me like I was an object and not a person. He needed the guarantee that someone would support him physically and financially for the rest of his life and I was that person. He viewed that ring as a contractual agreement that I was now his to do with that he pleased and the thought made me want to vomit all over the floor in front of him.

"Colt I need a minute." I said breathlessly, trying to stay upright.

"Quit being so damn dramatic and take all the fucking minutes you need, Lee's taking me and the boys out to celebrate tonight so I was just coming to let you know I was leaving."

Oh thank God.

"Okay. Be safe, You had quite a few drinks at dinner." I said in a low voice, knowing that my words were not going to be received well.

"Don't nag me Grace, I'm a fucking man and I'll drink what I want and go where I want."

"I'm not nagging you. I just want you to be safe. Maybe take an Uber? Since your DWI last month it might be best if you..."

He cut me off before I could say another word, taking hard steps toward me until I was backed against the wall.

"Oh here we fucking go again! Bringing up the damn DWI." Colt was seething as came so close he was nearly nose to nose with her.

"I'm sorry, I just want you to be safe Colt. That's all."

"Yeah well you're not my fucking mother, do you hear me?" He yelled into my face with the smell of whiskey permeating my senses.

"...I know that." I said softly knowing his mother was a sensitive topic and often a trigger of his.

Suddenly a voice echoed from behind us, a loud feminine voice that brought my soul some peace.

"Am I interrupting?"

My roommate Amanda's voice wrapped around me like a blanket as I let out a sigh of relief that she was present and there to witness anything that Colt had planned for me.

His tone instantly softened and his demeanor changed so quickly it was jarring to my senses.

"Okay Grace. I understand. I'll be careful." Colt said with forced kindness in his voice.

He used to talk to me in that soft tone all the time, but the more time went on and the more alcohol and drugs he consumed, the more that side of Colt started to fade and harden into the heartless man I had just agreed to marry.

"I love you Grace." Colt said as he pressed his lips into mine with so much force that my teeth mashed against my upper lip, causing me to wince.

"Love you too." I was able to force out as he pulled away, hoping my lip wasn't bleeding.

Amanda eyed him as he walked past before turning her attention toward me, rushing to my side.

"Why the hell did you say yes?" she shrieked in a hushed voice.

"I didn't have a choice Amanda." I said flatly as I wiped a dab of blood away from the inside of my top lip.

"Bullshit you didn't have a choice! I know you won't say it out loud to me Gracie, but I know what he's started doing to you these past few months. He's spiraling." Amanda said with fear and compassion in her eyes.

"Which is why you of all people should understand why I didn't have a choice. I got this from saying yes...imagine how he would have reacted if I had said no..."

I held my red arms and lifted my lip to show her how harsh he had just been with me.

Amanda pushed out a hard breath and nodded her head, understanding that she was one of the only people who knew how truly awful Colt treated me and understood that leaving him wasn't going to be an easy task.

For years I had been guilty of seeing Colt for who he could be. Who he could be if he didn't drink, who he could be if he didn't do drugs, who he could be if he'd just try to get his life together. I thought if I could save him from himself, he'd be the man I needed him to be, but Amanda saw him for who he was...an abuser.

I let the air out of my lungs slowly, bracing my hands on my knees for a second as I regained my composure as Amanda rubbed her hand up and down my back.

"Please don't tell anyone about this Amanda...part of me knew that you knew, but it'll be so much worse if he thinks I've told anyone."

My plea brought tears to my best friend's eyes, but she nodded anyway, knowing that at the moment it was what I needed from her.

"Okay...But you have to answer this one question for me. Has he hit you Gracie? Because if he has we need to go to the police." Amanda's tone was shaky as if she didn't really want to know the answer to her question.

"No he hasn't hit me...yet."

We maintained eye contact for a few agonizing seconds understanding the gravity of the situation that I'd put myself in.

"Get me outta here will ya?" I asked Amanda with a smile, hoping to cut the tension.

"You got it bestie. Go kiss mom and dad goodnight, then the girls and I are taking you out!" Amanda said with a wide grin that made me feel like everything was going to be okay.

I've gotten myself into a huge fucking mess and the only way out is to leave Colt. I know that, Amanda knows that, but it's so much easier said than done. There were so many factors, so many years of history between us that walking away wasn't going to be easy, but it was necessary. I just need to figure out how.

I can not become Mrs. Colt Hopson.

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