47. Hospital Arguments

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  ~song of the day~
  At my worst - pink sweat$

It's been a week. A week since the accident.

A week since Zyair's has been in a coma.

The doctor had said he'd wake up anytime. But anytime could be tomorrow or the next ten years.

It's been only a week, yet it felt like a year. And life had been nothing but a surreal blur this past week, forcing most of us to realize Zyair brought his special light into our world.

Christmas break was coming up, but it didn't feel like Christmas. It couldn't. Not with Zyair bedridden and our hearts caged in darkness.

Exams were also coming up, but the last thing I cared about was my grade and the stupid school. I sincerely curse the day I met Luca.

This was not how my senior year was supposed to go. This was not how our senior year was supposed to go.

I never imagined I'd spend a week in the hospital, crying and praying to God- who I only remember exist during times like this- in the hospital.

But I wasn't the only one in pain. We all were. Aaron hasn't eaten the entire week, frustrated and bummed that he can't visit Zyair in the hospital.

Ashley had eyebags for days, mostly from crying all day but also from lack of sleep- troubled she might be next on the list. She was the only one who hadn't  left Zyair's side throughout the entire week.

Zyair's accident was a wake-up call for us all. The Cagers were vicious, and we never felt scared until now because we've finally witnessed their brutality.

Fawn was the only one who still attended school, and who could blame her? She wasn't trying to ruin her straight As. She still made an effort to visit Zyair every day.

Gray, on the other hand, couldn't be predicted. He was a numb as a statue, almost a dead body- barely speaking, barely eating. He was also the only one who hadn't visited Zyair the entire week.

I walk into Zyair's room with a bag of tangerine for Ashley. She loved tangerines.

"Hey, " I give her a small smile, setting the bag on the brown center table.

Ashley slowly raises her head from the edge of the bed, where Zyair was laying on- connected to multiple tubes and wires.

The sight of him broke my heart every time, and I find myself saying a quick prayer to God.

"I got you tangerines, " I gesture towards the bag, walking towards her and placing my hands on her shoulders.

She looks up at me, the pain she felt evident in her eyes. "Thanks."

She sniffs and returns her gaze to Zyair's hand, playing with his fingernails. "He doesn't like his fingernails long. They....they... They... are...getting too long. He won't like that, " she breaks, her words incoherent, her low lips shaking as she cries softly.

She wipes her tears and runny nose with the back of her hand. "Do you have a clipper?" she turns to me.

I shake my head. I had nothing to say, so I keep quiet for Ashley's sake. She springs from her seat and heads to her bag at the window.

"I think......" she sniffs again, pushing her hair out of her face as she fumbles with her bag with shaky hands. Her bag tips over, and the contents pour all over the floor.

I rush over to help her and pick her bag from the ground. As I look up to hand her the bag, I see the most broken version of Ashley- unfiltered and raw.

"He's not waking up, Dove," her voice cracks, and she covers her mouth with the back of her hand to suppress her tears before covering her face. "It's been a week."

I do the only thing that could help her at the moment. I pull her into a tight hug. My heart sunk as I felt her melt into my arms, followed by her intense cries.

I knew exactly how she was feeling- watching the person you love in pain without being able to help them was torture.

"I feel so sad, and it hurts. I don't understand why I'm this miserable. He was always such a jerk to me," she sobs over my shoulder, digging her nails into my shoulders.

I wince slightly but pat her back in return. There was nothing I could do. Only comfort her in silence, hoping it would be enough.

"Do you think things would have changed if I had told him how I felt?" she forces a laughter, wiping her tears, pulling away from me.

That's the thing about life. We find ourselves questioning our choice when we're at the edge. I had nothing to say, so I keep quiet, silently wishing my presence was enough to comfort her.

"I don't think so, " she waves her hand aimlessly. "Zyair has always been a player. Stupid of me to think waiting around for him could change things."

In as much as I wanted to agree with her, a part of me believed Zyair did like Ashley a lot. But he was just too scared to admit it to himself.

After all, players are just guys who have never been in love or have been broken by love too many times.

And Zyair was the former. Well, he'd like to think he was the former.

But players were also guys who are too scared to fall in love and allow themselves affection. And that was Zyair.

"I'm sorry for talking about this now. How are you?" Ashley asks me, making it obvious she was trying to change the subject. 

I nod my head and hold up the bag of tangerine. "Are you hungry?"

She collects the bag from me, and an unfathomable expression flashes through her eyes. She bites down on her lips, laughing- slightly maniacally.

"I don't like tangerines. I only pretended to like them because my father did, " she drops the bag on the table with a thud. She falls on the sofa, closing her eyes and leaning back.

"He wasn't supposed to leave me either." her voice was low, almost a whisper. "Whenever I told him to bug off, he'd say he would when I finally find someone to condone my attitude, " she laughs sadly, reminiscing her father.

"And every time he said that, I always thought of Zyair."

Hearing her talk about Zyair and her father only made me realize how much of a terrible friend I  was to her. She was right to let me go.

I had always thought of myself as the victim without realizing I would be the villainous best friend in Ashley's story. So much must have gone on between her and Zyair. She must have felt deeply for him. And I was never there for her, dwelling on my feelings only.

She also got pregnant and had to go through an abortion by herself. I wasn't there either. When her father was dying, I was the only one who could save him, but I was too much of a bitch to help. I had never been there for her. I was never a best friend to her, but she always was for me.

I hit my chest, trying to suppress the bubble in my chest as my tears prick at the eyelids. "I'm sorry, " I manage to say, choking on my tears. "I'm sorry for everything, Ashley."

I fall to the ground, kneeling next to her, holding on to the edge of the table as my body falls. My eyes are fixed on the lavender furry rug, blurring as the minute goes by.

Ashley's knees appear before my tear-stained eyes, and she wraps her arms around my shoulders. "It's not your fault."

I hold on to her arms, squeezing my eyes shut. "It is. I'm sorry, Ashley. I should have at least been there for you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, " I cry, repeating the last sentence over and over again.

~~~~~~~~~~

A few moments after my tiny breakdown, Ashley and I sat awkwardly in the room until Elliot comes to save us from ourselves.

"Who wants Taco Bell?" he announces as he enters the room, holding the bag up. And just like that, we become slightly normal again.

"Who knows what has been going on in school?" Ashley asks after a while, laying on the floor, playing with a piece of cabbage from her third taco.

"School. Just basic school stuff. Nothing's changed. Everyone and everything is still the same. Except for our grades, though. Those shits are going downhill, " Elliot explains, making a rainfall gesture with his hands and mouth.

The room is silent after Elliot's words, each of us consumed by our thoughts. It's pretty fucked up how everyone could go about their day while Zyair was stuck bedridden. Stuck between life and death.

"Have you heard from Gray today?" Ashley asks me, breaking the silence.

Not only did Gray not visit Zyair the entire week, but he also hadn't been home. He disappeared the night Zyair's accident happened, leaving me with a note that read I'm fine, only.

He also made sure to text me every day to remind me that he was fine. His daily texts was the only thing keeping me sane. I wasn't much worried because I knew he was with Aaron. They left the house together and Aaron regularly gave me little updates about how their day goes.

"Do you truly believe Luca and his gang are responsible for Zyair?" Ashley asks me when I don't respond to her previous question. "I didn't think Luca was that cruel."

"We can't be sure, " Elliot pipes. "It could have been a simple accident."

"I doubt. Zyair's father has been searching for days to find the hit and run driver, but apparently, the plate number doesn't even exist, " Ashley says in a low voice, widening her eyes. "Coincidence? I think not." 

I sigh and rub my temple with my index finger. My worries increase at the thought of Gray going against them alone. This was not a fight we could win. And maybe he left because he knew that.

"Do you think they are trying to take everyone out using the list?" Elliot raises his brow, a concerned look on his face.

My mind drifts back to the day I got the message with a list of all my friends' names. A day I thought to be the best day of the year. The day Gray asked me out.

"I think I'm getting scared," Ashley lets out nervous laughter. "A part of me wants to blame Gray, but the other part thinks he's just a victim like us."

"Can't we report them to the police? Frankly, I believe we are too young for all these, " Elliot raises his hands defensively.

I shook my head, biting down on my lower lip. "If the police was an option. Gray wouldn't have fled to London in the first place."

"So, are we truly going to die? We just sit here and wait for them to pick next?" Elliot furrows his brows, scrunching his face angrily.

"As opposed to what? Barging in and starting a war?" Ashley replies with a snort.

"But we can't just stay and do nothing!"

"Don't you get? There's nothing to do!"

"How do you know that when we haven't tried, " Elliot's voice is low and disappointed.

"There's no trying, Elliot. A rabbit can't beat a Lion!"

"Pretty low of you to think yourself the rabbit, " Elliot shakes his head and stands, walking towards the door.

"What did you just say?" Ashley rises to her feet, her eyes blurry yet burning with fire.

"Take a look at Zyair, " she points to the bed. "That's what taking a stand did to him. Zyair knew something! He wanted to tell Gray something and look at what happened! So forgive me if I think myself a Rabbit! Forgive me if I want to give up!"

Elliot's hand rests on the door handle, his body moving up and down as he heaves. "You can't give up what you never started, Ashley."

And with that, he walks out of the room. Ashley falls to the ground, crouching and hugging her knees as she cried.

I feel the tears drop from my eyes at the sight of her.

What was supposed to be the best year of my life was slowly becoming the worst. Everyone was on the verge of breaking down. Some on the verge of death.

My phone vibrates in my back pocket. I drag my eyes away from Ashley to pick my call. My body was numb with tiredness from crying and feeling downcast, but I managed to gather the strength to speak.

"Hello, " I breathe into my phone.

"Dove?" Aaron's panicked voice was enough to wake me up. I was certain his call had something to do with Gray.

"Please go straight to the point, " I close my eyes with a shaky breath. "Is Gray okay?"

Aaron doesn't answer, increasing my anxiety.

"Aaron!"

"I don't know, Dove. He's in there...and they are in there... And they carried a body bag out..."

His words are incoherent, and his voice is shaky.

"Where are you?" I ask. I break out into sweats, paralyzed to the spot as I try to keep calm.

"I can't tell you. He told me not to tell you. He said to leave if he's not out in thirty minutes, but..."

"How long has it been?"

"Three hours."

••••••••••••••
A/n:
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