RIP Mark Hollis (1955-2019)

Alistair couldn't decide if the Brigadier V2.0's aches and pains were worth it. Perhaps, Alistair thought, David Cooper was not such a bully after all. Wiping his face with a towel, his mentor outlined a self-defence scenario. Alistair eased in to the moves step-by-step, clumsily practicing a number of times until he assuredly built up his confidence. Finally, they ran through the complete drill and the Brigadier V2.0 allowed Alistair to get in to a position to attack.

Alistair froze, confused.

"What's the matter boy?" the Brigadier V2.0 demanded.

"I'll be as bad as him," Alistair confessed, uncurling his hands, realising all this was leading to him being able to use his fists better than the bully boys.

"It's not about the animal within lashing out," the program imparted. "It's about being smart, removing emotion, containing your fears and defending yourself without having to lash out."

Alistair remained unsure.

"Let me put it this way: you learn to defend yourself and they will never lay a finger on you again. Now...HIT ME!"

Fulfilling the Brigadier V2.0's orders, Alistair jarred his knuckles as the program scoffed: the hologram was like punching solid granite and the boy grimaced, clutching at his sore hand.

"Settle down," the Brigadier V2.0 scorned without sympathy.

"You're sadistic," Alistair writhed in pain.

"True, very true," the Brigadier V2.0 answered, dematerialising. "Here endeth the lesson."

Moments later, Delilah arrived with a thermos of minestrone soup and some chunks of bread for Alistair, and silently, returned to the flat. The boy shivered, pulling his scarf tight around his neck. He threw a chunk of bread to a grateful Balderick then dunked the other piece in to the soup whilst the snow continued to fall. Not far away was the drone of an airship's engines.

"The Brigadier V2.0's a psycho," he told Balderick as he wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "Pop is just plain crazy," he added as he broke off some more bread and held it in his palm of gloved hand for the raven to peck at. Alistair brushed snowflakes off Balderick's feathers and aching, cold and frustrated he wondered if The Brigadier V2.0's style of education was any better than the one he was missing at school.

Slurping the dregs, he placed the empty thermos on his workbench and spotted the slab of Perspex lying on the bench. Suddenly, a light bulb lit in Alistair's head.

**********************

Alistair smiled as he dragged his weary frame to an upright position mentally boosted by his cunning plan. Up until now, the Brigadier V2.0 had swaggered along with his overtly macho arrogance, intolerant of any of Alistair's perceived weaknesses or tactical transgressions. Still, the program hadn't completed a base line for ingenuity and Alistair was positively beaming on the inside. His poker face gave nothing away; the ruse was on.

"I think it's time for a practical examination," the Brigadier V2.0 judged, stroking his moustache. "If you can impress me lad – and it takes an awfully good show to impress me – you shall have progressed to the next stage."

The boy exhaled, trying to put a calming trick to good use.

"Shall I remind you, that if you do not pass, we go back to square one?" he asked his pupil and Alistair understood. "Excellent," the mentor prepared. "I'll make this interesting. I'll suppress your profile from the examination. That way, when you come at me, I could be pleasantly surprised and genuinely knocked for six...that is, if you really have learnt anything in our time together."

Alistair withheld a smart Alec comment and the hologram rebooted for the exam. "You have seven minutes and must combine all you have learnt. If you fumble, you fail. If you falter, you fail. If you do that in real life, you'd die."

"Your time starts...NOW."

Alistair had half expected the Brigadier V2.0 to fly out of the traps and do him in but instead, they began slowly, cagily stepping from side to side, sizing up one another. Balderick crowed his support as he poked about in the periphery. A light dusting of snow began to fall on a gentle breeze but Alistair didn't feel the cold; he focussed intently and allowed himself a brief moment of worry to furrow his brow.

WHAM! The Brigadier V2.0 danced to his left and hit out with his right hand but Alistair had anticipated the early gambit and slipped aside, his feet perfectly balanced.

"Don't toy with me lad, you need to involve yourself," the Brigadier V2.0 taunted as he deftly jabbed at the boy who used his wrists and forearms to deflect the blows.

"Excellent," the mentor smiled and altered his angle. Again Alistair bobbed and weaved, but couldn't avoid a hit flush to his left shoulder. There was nothing soft about this simulation and he refused to rub at the welt lest he appear weakened. Allowing his eyes to dart, he watched his opponent's feet and as the Brigadier V2.0 shifted his weight, in that fraction of second, Alistair struck.

The program truly appeared shocked as he regained his poise and retaliated with an elbow. Alistair dived and rolled in to a ball, jumping up. But he was too slow. The Brigadier V2.0 straightened his arm and coat-hangered the boy across the throat. Alistair lay on his back, coughing, feeling a flutter of snow settling on his face; Balderick fanned his wing and hid his face. Not done, Alistair stood, rubbing his Adam's Apple.

"A minus against your name," the program confirmed and Alistair located inner strength. He bit his lip and glared in to his mentor's eye. Bottling his emotions, he used trickery instead. Ferociously, he ran at the Brigadier V2.0 who blocked his attack, shoving the boy back; Alistair sprawled on the icy roof. Back on his feet, this time he knew how the program would react and he repeated his action, running back at the program. The Brigadier V2.0 responded as Alistair predicted, but this time, the boy ducked, dived and slid along the ice on his back and as he passed under the hologram, he punched out at the man's crotch.

The Brigadier V2.0 bent over in shock, holding his groin. Realising he had been beaten once, he instantly reconfigured and glared at the boy.

"That is a cheap shot," he growled.

"No...that was a bellringer," Alistair mocked.

WHAM!

A karate chop sent him flying. The program threw a haymaker and Alistair did extremely well to avoid it. Scrambling, Alistair steeled himself. I've got him frustrated Alistair reasoned, though the program has only tempered its programming to the situation. Undeterred, Alistair watched the Brigadier V2.0 buzz, flaring his nostrils.

Instead, Alistair stood his ground.

"Come and get me," Alistair beckoned. "I'm all yours."

The Brigadier V2.0 obliged and the boy toyed with him. Repositioing himself for another volley of offensive blows Alistair swatted away a left, right, left combo, and the Brigadier V2.0 stepped back and eyed the boy.

"You have progressed well," he encouraged. "But let's just see how well."

Again Alistair spread his arms and opened his defences.

"Hit me!" Alistair encouraged.

"Pardon?" the Brigadier V2.0 answered in surprise.

"You heard me: HIT ME!!!" Alistair yelled. Not to be outdone by an amateur, the Brigadier V2.0 grinned as he rolled his digital fingers in to a fist.

"This is going to hurt you far more than it is going to hurt me," the program minced, obliging Alistair's invitation.

The hologram grinned and Alistair tightened the muscles in his stomach.

"I have you now, lad."

There was an almighty crunch and the two combatants watched as bubbles of digidots dribbled off the Brigadier V2.0's shattered arm, winking out like dying embers. The hologram stared at his stump as he bled 0's and 1's, utterly flummoxed.

"Bugger me," the Brigadier V2.0 exclaimed, looking at his student. Immediately, the program grew suspicious and he repixalated a fresh hand to complete his hologram form.

"Something doesn't feel right," the Brigadier V2.0 surmised and unbuttoning his jacket and lifting his T-shirt, Alistair withdrew the solid piece of Perspex.

"Lesson One: Be Prepared...Sir!" Alistair reiterated cheekily. "Did I pass the test?"

The hologram smoothed down his moustached.

"Technically that is cheating," the Brigadier V2.0 warned. "However, you have learnt, and put in to practice, the modules of this course. It appears you have learnt some invaluable lessons of anticipation and adaptability."

"Did I pass?" Alistair asked again, hoping he could have some good news.

"I believe you have," the Brigadier V2.0 concurred. "Here endeth the first examination."

With a snap/hiss, the Brigadier V2.0 depixalated, and like a genie going back in to the bottle, the projector shut down.

"Phew," Alistair sighed, then raised his hands victoriously over his head, and pumped his fists. Balderick crowed long and loud, clapping his wings in congratulations. Exhausted, Alistair knelt and picked up the device.

"Gotcha!" the boy quietly gloated, smiling as he tossed the piece of Perspex back on his workbench. "Come on Balderick," he smiled. "School's out for the weekend!"