Chapter 17

Ella:

Seeing her lunge, I casually stepped to the side avoiding the collision, not because I can fight or am a ninja or anything but because the lunge was predictable from practically a mile away. She falls again flat to the floor, water soaking her dark ripped jeans. An unflattering grunt comes from her mouth with a series of curse words I'm sure are directed at me.

Numbness saturates the anxious nerves, hushing every thread of uncertainty I might have. Whatever morals or virtues that usually kept me quiet and hidden suddenly felt unresponsive, erased as of right now. Substituting my shyness is this torrid heat, sweltering my pale skin and roasting my cheeks. Little stings twiddling the tips of my fingers.

If this is what anger feels like, I'm swimming in an ocean of it. I just pushed this girl and the guilt is strong, but the fury is dulling it to mere bread crumbs. The livid girl pushed herself up off the slippery wet floor, her face gushing with deep color in a matter of seconds, a ruddy blotchy red. Her brown eyes slit into narrow daggers, slicing hate into me with just a look.

"I'm going to fuck you up." Just as the words leave her lips, she's coming at me like a cat with sharp claws pouncing on its prey. I feel like someone else as I block the punch to my face and swing low to her abdomen giving as much power to the strike as possible. She grunts gritting her teeth as one of her hands grabs my shirt, digging her nails into the skin of my upper arm.

There's a painful burn where her nails break through flesh, clenching my jaw I grab her dark hair and yank it, trying to get her to release my arm. Thankfully she does with a yelp, but after a second to recover, she swings her hand back before I have a chance to release my hands from her hair, and slaps me hard across the face.

My head snaps to the side, my cheeks stinging awfully as she laughs hysterically. Without bringing my hand to my face, I instead ball them into painful fists next to my sides, this pure hatred I've only felt a few times before pouring into every single pore of my body. There is no way I'm letting her know how bad that hurt. "How's that feel whore, huh?"

Lifting my boiling gaze to meet hers, I lose every sense of my character and become someone else completely. Stepping forward as she laughs, I take her body in my hands and throw her to the ground with all my strength before she has a chance to understand what's going on.

She slams into the ugly school tiled floor, her head smacking against the ground. Before she can react I jump on her and start swinging and hitting showing her what this 'whore' can do.

"It was an accident," I whisper to myself.

The screams coming from her mouth are dull whispers compared to the rushing waves smashing currents in my veins. She claws at me but the attempts are feeble compared to my explosive ones. Red paint colors her face, but I can't really tell for sure because everything I'm seeing is red, the lockers, the walls, and the ceiling. Crimson coating my vision like a glaze over my eyes.

All I feel is numb, paralyzed in my body, my muscles moving on their own accord, completely detached as my body is harshly yanked to the side away from the girl. What is going on? My teacher, Mr. Danes, is in my face waving his hands back and forth catching my attention. My eyes focus on his hands as the loudness in my ears quiets into a low hum.

Where did he come from?

"You're in so much trouble young lady." He says as I can finally make out what he's saying. "You need to go to the office, this behavior will not be tolerated." He grabs my arm pulling me up into a standing position. I gaze around at the scene in front of me, the girl who pushed me is on the ground crying, another teacher kneeling beside her checking her injuries.

What did I just do?

Mr. Dane scans my face, then looks at the other girl. His grip on my arm not leaving, if I wasn't so numb right now I'd surely be freaking out. I can't seem to voice an apology or even feel slightly guilty. I can't feel anything, not even anger, it's all gone and used up. Is this normal? "You girls got a lot of explaining to do." Mr. Dane rambles on pulling me down the hall.

I don't catch half of what he's saying, just letting his voice lull in the empty air. My water bottle spilled, it was an accident, I apologized and then got pushed for it. I engaged in a fight, I let my emotions fuel my actions which isn't right. Since when did people provoke me to the point of violence, since when did I let them? What is wrong with me?

Being all in my head, I don't even notice when we enter the main office or when Mr. Dane sits me in a chair to wait while he walks down a hall into the back. But wait for what? Am I going to get yelled at? Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. Declan would know, he's been in a lot of fights at school. Will Declan be mad at me, will he not want to talk to me after he knows what I've done?

No Ella, just stop thinking.

Stop fudging thinking, stop, stop, stop.

Taking a deep breath, I will myself to shake the unwanted thoughts out of my head. My anxiety slowly but surely seeping back into place, swelling my stomach with knots, curling around my limbs like ropes, and twitching my warm skin. Bringing myself back to reality, I find the courage to glance up timidly and scan the unwelcoming tan walls of the office.

The door opens and in my peripheral vision, I can see it's the water-drenched girl who started all this. But did she? I'm the one who didn't screw my top on all the way. Her face is swollen with bruises gradually coming to the surface, bleeding cuts littering across her face. Gazing away, I go back to scanning the room as my hands start their trembling that always seems to happen when I'm overly nervous, I did that to her.

What have I done? What have I done? What have I done?

A familiar boy stands behind the front desk talking to the secretary. Declan's here? My heart skips at his presence. How did I not notice him before? Maybe because for a moment my brain was going all mental. What is he even doing in the office, he should be in class? I could've sworn he wore a green sweatshirt, not a red one. Am I going crazy?

In the slight turn of his head, his side profile can be seen. The first thing I notice is a mole on his cheek I've never seen before, then the unmissable blue of his right eye. Blue, blue, blue. Those aren't green, they're unmistakably blue as blue gets. Those aren't Declan's eyes, they're not the color of heart-melting green.

My blood falls cold, as cold as arctic ice frozen for a centuries time. Grasping the straps of my book bag in an iron grip, I stand up abruptly just as the girl I got in a fight with sits four chairs down. My heart seems to quake in my chest as I take a step forward, ready to run out of this place. His head turns a little more then, must of hearing the screech of my chair as I stood.

Our eyes lock, his frigid ones with mine sending a shudder of fear spindling the length of my spine. I swallow a gulp. "Miss. Emerson, sit down you have yet to be seen." The secretary scolds. Ignoring her, my feet stumble into action, hurrying to the wooden door keeping me enclosed with a monster. "Ella, I'm talking to you."

My hand grabs the doorknob and twists pulling the barrier open. "Nice seeing you, Ellie." I hear Hayes call as I flee out of the room not looking back. Ellie. He called me Ellie in that stupid voice, he used Declan's nickname that only Declan's allowed to call me. It makes my skin prickle uncomfortably. It didn't sound right when Hayes said it.

What in the heck is he doing here at our school? Is he watching me? Is he watching Declan? Is planning on separating us somehow, hurting us? As I hurry down the quiet vacant hall, every single bad thought comes to mind, my anxiety ebbing my body up and down spreading like wildfire.

I need Declan, I need Declan, I need Declan.

Water fills my strained eyes as I push through the double doors of the school. Sunlight immediately blinds me as I rush out onto the sidewalk. My chest rises and falls in rapid movements, my breathing harsh as oxygen seems almost impossible to get into my aching lungs.

"ELLA EMERSON TO THE MAIN OFFICE." The outside speaker's thunder. I will not go back in there not when Hayes is in there. No fudging way will I ever put myself willingly within breathing distance of him. With shaky hands, I search desperately in my pocket for my phone.

My knees fall weak as I finally find my phone and type a text to Declan with too many errors to count, my thumbs fumble over the letter keys hitting all the wrong ones. Panic squeezing its way to every crook and cranny it can find. I'm already in so much trouble, and now Hayes is in our school too. If today can't get any worse.

At once my knees buckle and collapse causing me to fall with a thump onto the warm grass just near the parking lot. An anxiety attack is coming and it's coming quickly. In my hands my phone begins to vibrate, my fingers furiously tap at the screen hoping to answer the phone until finally, I hear a voice.

"Where are you, Ellie?" Declan demands, concern laced in his low comforting voice.

Tears bubble blurring my eyes. "I n-need you D." I stutter, one of my hands digging into the grass deep into the dirt. I need him right now, he'll make it better, he'll fix it. Does he know Hayes is here? Does he know about what I did to that girl? Will he be mad at me? I don't want him to be mad at me.

Through the phone, his static hard breathing is almost impossible not to notice. "Fuckkk—Ellie baby, tell me where you are, I need to know where you are." He strains out trying to stay calm. My hands are shaking so badly the phone falls onto my lap, my chest squeezing and contracting in painful increments.

"The g-grass," I whisper, fisting the dirt that is now definitely compacted under my nails. Think about the good things, chocolate, cake, stars, running. Think, Ella, think. That doesn't help, only Declan makes it go away, only he makes me feel better.

Shuffling noises come through the speaker of my phone, both loud and soft. "I'm coming Ellie, I'm coming to you. Just breathe, listen to my voice, and breathe." He soothes, lulling my ears in a soft caress. "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere okay?"

He's here, he's right here. "Y-you p-promise." I quiver through dry cracked lips. My face is throbbing from where that girl hit me, but the tremble of my limbs is worse. I just want him to hold my hand and take it all away.

A door slams open not that far away, but in my state of panic, I'm kind of limited in where I can look and move. "I promise you on my life..." A moment later super strong arms pick me up off the ground like a baby and cradle me into their solid chest. I convulse against them no having control of my body. "Shh, I got you baby." My Declan murmurs repeatedly rocking me side to side.

Tears of salt slide down my cheeks and under my chin. Hot lips pepper comforting kisses on top my eyelids, down my nose, and along my jaw. My eyes are squeezed shut, though his lips feel of soft silk and warm summer sun rays all in one. He walks while I cling to him, humming sweet words into my ear.

"I love you." He murmurs. "I love you even like this because you're my baby."

Little by little the shaking stops as air fills my lungs in refreshing gulps. Opening my eyes, I take in Declan's heavenly features as he stares down at me in worry. "I love you too D, more and more every second." The corners of his smooth red lips quirk into the most handsome of looks.

He comes to a stop, taking one hand off of me to open his car door then slides us in, me on his lap as he sits. Once we're all settled in the car, his hand gently traces my throbbing cheek. "What happened, who left a mark on you?" He suddenly questions, as if he's been holding it in until I calmed down. "I'm going to fuck them up real bad." A low rage edging his voice.

How do I tell him it's my fault? I'm the one who caused the fight. Glancing down to my jeans I mumble, "I g-got in a f-fight." My nervousness can be sensed from a mile away and the stutter just makes it all the more obvious.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as his lips curved wickedly. Just as he's about to answer, his phone rings. He lets out an annoyed sigh as he shifts us to reach into his pocket searching for the vibrating piece of technology. After a second he finds it, rolls his eyes, then clicks the accept option answering it, switching it to speaker phone.

"I'm busy Wes," Declan growls into the phone. I giggle, he's only with me, he isn't actually busy. His grassy eyes glance down at me, a beautiful smile twitching at his lips as he tries his best to stay serious. That look makes me almost forget what a horrible day I'm having, key word almost.

"Too busy to know about Hayes enrolling in school?" Wes says outright.

Almost immediately, I feel Declan stiffen under me, and the worst part is I know it's true because I saw Hayes in the main office. "That fucking cunt."

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