Chapter 84 - We understand each other

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You are simply the best readers I could have asked for and even though I was gone for a while, you still bared with me, so thank you for your support!

Here is another chapter! <3

Let's get inside Noah's head, what do you think?

Ready to know about his summer, what he's been thinking this whole time and know more about Cindy?

These is when they are back from their date, so before all the action from last chapter's happened.

OMG, let's do this! I hope you like it!

Love,
Me

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Right after the date...

Noah's POV

I feel my hands sweaty and I curse at myself for being this nervous. I don't think I've ever felt like this before and that is for sure a foreign feeling.

I shouldn't feel this way and I know that is definitely because of the girl in front of me.

Emma White.

We're just back from our date and I'd be lying shitless if I said I'm not dying to take her to her dorm and make her scream my name like she used to do, only to drive me completely crazy, but it's not like I can do that.

The fact that she agreed to go out with me again is enough for me to freak out, but I have to control myself and take it slow, not to scare her away again.

Patience is my new motto.

Maybe I should tell you everything that happened since I was back on campus up until this moment.

I got back from Boston a few days before classes started. I stayed at my apartment for the majority of time, just working and organizing my schedule for the year to come.

I'll admit that I was avoiding going to campus because I was too afraid to meet Emma. I knew this would happen eventually, but I didn't know what to expect when it happened.

For someone who likes to have control over everything, not knowing about her life was killing me. I didn't know when she would be back, so I simply avoided going there for my own sanity.

Would she still be angry? Maybe she moved on and found someone else in fucking Italy. I spent two months thinking about what she was doing, the places she was going, people she'd be meeting and fuck it if it didn't make me anxious.

I know there was nothing I could do about it, because the moment I left Alfred's apartment in New York, I promised myself that I'd give her all the time she needs and this would be about her and not my desperate need to be with her.

So, while she was having fun in Europe, my summer sucked instead. I didn't want to go to the trip with my friends. I was going to be a terrible company, not only because I was mopping around, but mainly because I was angry. I knew I'd be an awful friend and they don't deserve it.

I was angry at myself for letting Emma go. For being so stupid that I lost the one person that gives my life purpose. I thought that the family business was what meant the most to me, but after I fell in love with her, my job became secondary.

I decided to spend some time alone in our house in Hawaii to get my thoughts together and not go crazy thinking about her. It was nice actually, I went surfing, just chilled and thought about a lot of things.

I'd say the chill time was needed, but not enough because when I was back home, all the peace I found in that paradise was gone the moment I heard my mom's high heels clicking on the floor.

''Honey, it's great to have you home, finally. I thought you'd never show up to see your parents.''

Well, I considered not coming for a moment. Not being with Emma was hell enough, but I'm not saying this to the devil itself.

''You look so thin and pale.'' She cupped my face and looked at me deep in the eyes. ''What about these bags under your eyes? Have you been sleeping properly?''

''Yes mom, I'm just tired from the flight, that's all.'' It was true, partially.

''You know what I think? You're sad, but don't worry sweetheart, I'm planning a nice summer party to cheer you up.''

''I don't want to go to any party, mom.'' I said, rolling my eyes and already feeling annoyed.

''Nonsense, it will be good to get your head to forget that girl.'' My eyes darted to her in surprise. ''I'm your mother, Noah. I know you're feeling like this because that White girl broke up with you.''

How the hell does she know that?

''Her name is Emma and you do realize that the way you say that White girl sounds very bad, right?''

''The party will be tomorrow. Be ready at seven sharp and dress well. Anna's daughter is coming and she's eager to meet you.''

Great, another matchmaking opportunity for Clarice Allen.

Shoot me now.

''Tomorrow? How did you even have time to plan a party?" I told her I'd be coming home two days ago, so how is it possible?

''Noah, dear, I'm an Allen. There's nothing I can't do.'' She winked at me and I felt like going back to Hawaii.

The party actually sucked. It was just an excuse for my mom to socialize with her friends who have nothing better to do other then pretend they are perfect with their wealthy families.

She did introduce me to Anna's daughter, who I remembered from other parties, but I was never interested enough to talk to her. I think she was one of the few daughters that my mom can still play cupid with, considering she's one of the few I haven's slept with.

She's beautiful, but definitely not my type. My type would be a certain short, blonde, blue eyes, gorgeous as fuck girl, named Emma, to be more precise.

''So, you're the guy my mom is trying to set me up with.'' I heard a girly voice from behind me, as I took a sip of my drink.

''The one and only. You're Cindy, right?''

''The one and only.'' She uses my own words and I smirk. ''So, my mom said you got dumped, that's why we should, you know... get to know each other.''

I was doing my best to get Emma out of my thoughts, so hear a stranger saying I got dumper hurts like hell.

''No offense, Cindy, but you're not my type, so fuck off.'' I turned around to leave, but I stopped when she called me off.

''Well, fuck you. It's Nelly? Oh no, it's Noah. Listen, Noah, I'm not happy with this as much as you are, but don't blame me for our crazy parents. You don't even know me, so the next time you meet someone, don't tell them to fuck off. It's not nice.''

She turned around and left me astonished with my glass of champagne.

The girl is feisty, I'll give her that.

I saw her a few times during the rest of the party, but didn't talk to her again, up until I got into an argument with my mom about this fucked up situation.

She was worried that I'd make a scene and ruin her perfect party, so I went to our backyard to get some air and stay away from those people, especially away from my mom.

''Tough night, huh?'' Cindy's voice startled me as I saw her seating on the other edge of the big bench where I was also seated.

I just looked at her and didn't say anything, so she stood up to leave me alone one more time.

''I'm sorry.'' I said, making her stop and turn around to face at me.

''Come again?'' She heard me just fine, but she was playing dumb. I took a deep breath to avoid myself from telling her to fuck off again.

''I'm sorry for being rude to you earlier.'' She walked back to where I was. ''I was angry that you said I got dumped.''

''Sorry for saying that to your face. I was just pissed.''

''Well, that makes two of us.''

She smiled and set next to me.

''So, what's your story? Who is the girl?'' I considered if I should tell her about Emma and the things that went down between us, but well, wouldn't be bad to talk to someone about it, so I told her parts of the story.

I'm not an open book, but fuck, what do I have to lose, right?

I ended up telling her about Emma, how we met, our plan to get closer to her, how I actually fell in love with her, up until when I fucked up and she left me.

I skipped the details though.

''Wow, that's fucked up.'' That's the only thing she said when I was done.

As if I didn't know that.

Telling her was a stupid idea and I was about to tell her to forget I said anything, when she started telling me her story instead and let me say, it's even more fucked up than mine.

She told me that her mom was trying to get her a boyfriend - aka, me - because she was only interested in partying. She was heartbroken too, because the guy she loves dumped her to be with someone else, a famous bitch that she refused to say the name.

They were engaged when he said he couldn't be with her anymore. Actually, she found out he didn't want to marry her when she saw the pictures of them traveling when he was supposed to be on a business trip, which sucks real bad.

The girl confirmed on an Interview that she was dating and had the best vacation ever with him. The guy didn't even have the decency to break up with her first.

Her mom blamed her for not being able to hold a man and that's when she decided to drop the perfect daughter title she's been holding her entire life and just be a normal girl.

She swore that no other man would control her ever again, including her father, so her mom is going crazy trying to make her fall in love with the perfect guy. That means, someone rich, who will make her dress up only for him and be the perfect princess they want her to be.

I can't imagine someone who curses even more than I do being a princess daughter, but who am I to judge? I'm mopping around for a girl that is probably going out with a fucking good looking Italian.

The thought actually made my heart sink.

After Cindy was done telling me how she got dumped, we engaged in an understanding conversation and I think we got along pretty well.

Cindy told me she was going to meet some friends the day after and asked me if I wanted to go with her, so she gave me her phone number. I know we weren't friends and we didn't exactly start great, but when the night after came and I was on the verge of calling Emma, I thought why the hell not?

After that, we started to hang out more and after a while I opened up more about Emma and told her details about our relationship, the shits I've done and how we ended up to the point we were.

Cindy became a good friend. She comes from the same background as me, rich parents, having to be the perfect role model, working in the family business, so I guess we have so much in common that it made us bond.

We understand each other.

As for Emma, Cindy thinks that I should get over her and move on. She's been trying to make me meet new people, but I'm not interested.

She introduced me to some of her friends, who are just as nice as her, but no thanks.

My mom was thrilled every time I said I was going to meet Cindy, but I never mentioned to her that we'd never be more than just friends and that most of the time we were together I was talking about Emma.

Let her think whatever she wants, because it worked to make her stop being a pain in my ass, so I let her believe that we were getting along like she wanted.

The truth is, Cindy has been helpful. I'm far from forgetting Emma, but she's a good friend and that's all I need right now.

The one person that is not really happy about my friendship is Madeleine. She's always been there for me, thick and thin and suddenly I have a new female friend, so I get why she's upset.

She feels like she's being replaced, so I made clear to her that she is my best friend and I love her. It was the first time since we were kids that I said I love her - with words at least - and she was over the moon, so after that I think she didn't mind about Cindy that much anymore.

Add to all of that the fact that things at the company have been intense and there were tons of work to do because we're growing by the day and that was basically my summer.

When classes started, I was stupid to think that I was ready to see Emma. I spent the last couple of days preparing myself for that moment, but when I heard her voice, my world spinned around in a split second.

When I turned and saw Emma at the library door, a lot of things happened.

I froze for a moment, then my heart started beating fast, it became hard to breath and last, my palms were sweaty, just like they are now.

I wanted to talk to her, but I thought about my promise that I'd let her talk to me and decide how this would go when we saw each other again.

It was very hard to stay put and let her decide, but I've learned my lesson. This isn't about me, it's about how she feels, what she wants and I could only hope that she wanted the same as me.

I don't know if I should expect her to yell, simply ignore my existence or tell me that she thought about us and wants to be with me.

What I wanted though, was to tell her that she looked so incredibly gorgeous. Her hair is different, she lost weight, what makes me wonder if she's been eating properly.

She was in freaking Italy and lost weight. How is that even possible?

Her choice though was to come closer and say a simple 'hey', like we're mere friends who haven't seen each other in a while.

My heart stopped for a second, so I had to control myself and have a normal conversation, so I casually asked her about her summer.

If she wanted to act like we're friends, that's what I would do, even if it killed me on the inside.

She kept telling me a few stories about her trip, but I'll admit I wasn't paying attention, I was just looking at her smile, how her eyes were shining and how she twitched her nose when she told me about Venice.

She asked about my summer and I wanted to scream and tell her for us to stop with the small talk and actually talk about us, but I refrained from it.

She didn't mention any guys and I was definitely going to ask if she was seeing someone, so before I said anything stupid, I excused myself and told her we'd see each other around. Very casual of me.

These past weeks have been hard. Being around her is close to torture, but there's nothing I can do about it. I can't control myself though and my eyes are on her all. the. fucking. time.

We talked a few times and weirdly enough, we're around each other a lot, considering we have the same friends.

It fucking sucks.

I was trying to find a way to actually move on and deal with the fact that the girl I love more than anything is not mine anymore, but that's when there was the party than changed everything.

It was different. The way she was also looking at me, like there were still feelings, is what made me want to try getting closer to her. When Cindy called and I saw the hurt look on Emma's face, I knew she still cared for me.

I was full of hope, so when she hurt herself, being the cute clumsy person that she is, I had to step in and offer to help her.

Being so close to her was intoxicating and if I always thought I was good in self control, it was nothing compared to being locked in a bathroom with her.

All I wanted to do was kiss her perfect lips and beg her to date me again, but once again, I was being the perfect friend.

She asked about Cindy and I knew it. She was probably trying to put the strong facade, just like I was, but I could see through her at that moment.

After that I was decided. I was going to get her back.

We had a small argument when I drove her back to campus, but then she kissed me, shocking the hell out of me.

Emma White, the love of my freaking life, was kissing me again and it was the best feeling ever.

Once we pulled away and she freaked out, I realized that she wasn't just jealous, she thought I was actually dating Cindy. That explains why she's been so distant and when we clarified everything, I couldn't be happier.

I need to have a serious conversation with Cindy about posting pictures on Instagram.

That's why I don't like social media. All it does is tell people lies and misunderstand things.

I asked Emma to go on a date with me, because I want to do this the right way. I know by now that we're practically together again, but as I said to her, I'm not taking her for granted, so I'll ask her to be my girlfriend tonight.

The date was amazing and once we're back on campus, she's bold to take control of the situation. It's very hard, I mean extremely hard to control myself, because all I want to do when she kisses me like that is to never leaver her, not for a single second.

I said I wanted to take it slow, but how can I when I have the sexiest girl - the girl I love - teasing me like this? She has barely touched me and I'm hard, so when she obeys to what I said about taking it slow, I forgot about my own instructions and pushed her inside her dorm.

Tonight has been a fucking perfect night.

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