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Chapter 20

A small part of me did not want to go. I didn't know how to act around people like Maria's family, and I didn't want to see Robbie.

I put my phone down and looked out the cage of the fire escape. The sun was nice today, and something was calming about listening to cars and human movement.

In Miami, I lived in the suburbs. There was a lot of sun and a lot of cars but not that much movement. It was a strange feeling, but even if I didn't know any of the people walking underneath, it was comforting.

I liked to wonder where they were going? What conversations did they have? It was strange to think that people had a life outside your own. When I was younger, I couldn't wrap my head around this idea. The world started with me opening my eyes and paused when I went to sleep at night.

I had the self-centered notion that whatever happened to me was the most important thing. As you get older, those ideas tend to seem absurd, and in the aftermath of selfish impulsiveness, they were shameful. As you get older, you realize that you aren't the only person in this universe with goals, pain, and laughter. 

Not only that but that millions and billions have existed before you and will continue to exist afterward. We are a speck in the history of histories, so unimportant. It was both freeing and terrifying. There was a big part of me that liked order. I liked having control over situations. Extrinsic factors were inconvenient, and all had to be accounted for.

Another louder part of me wanted to force myself into situations that terrified me.

This reason was partly why I always gave in so quickly to everything Maria asked. While kind and friendly, she was just as bossy as I was. Her world was so different from mine, and there were factors that I could never even imagine because it was so far apart from everything I had grown up with.

It was the only thing in my life at the moment where I willingly took the passenger seat.

I stretched out my legs and closed my eyes. I could feel the baby hairs at the back of my neck, sticking to me from sweat.

I should shower, I thought to myself. I also needed to make dinner so that my father would have something to eat when he came home at 2 in the morning.

I stretched and looked over the railing again. We lived in front of a small grocery store that had their fruits sitting out on the sidewalk. A woman was talking to the store clerk. They seemed to know each other personally. The clerk was laughing at something she said, and she playfully smacked him a few times.

I did another long stretch and went inside through my window.

The uber Maria called for me came early, so I ran outside with my hair wet and my shoes untied. I carried two boxes of shoes. While I may fit into her dresses, I definitely would not fit into her shoes. Maria was tall, and her shoe size matched her height.

When the Uber arrived at her house, she was already waiting outside for me. My hair had dried with the AC, and I am sure it was a frizzy mess.

She gave me a big hug.

"I'm so happy to have someone normal again," She said into my hair while she squeezed me tight.

We went upstairs to her room and passed by Robbie's closed door. I could hear music coming from inside. It sounded like a pop song they play on the radio, not like anything he had in his car. Abigail must be here.

Inside, Maria already had dresses picked out for me. She picked one up. "This is the one that I think would look best on you. I wore it once for like 30 minutes at a college party Lana dragged me to before they kicked us out for being way too young."

It was a black Valentino dress with tulle and buckles across the bodice. The dress would probably be a mini dress for Maria and hit me at around mid-thigh. While the buckles were very masculine, the tulle skirt and capped sleeves made it very feminine.

"It's black and white attire." She explained

I slipped on the dress. It fit me perfectly.

"I knew it would fit you." She smiled. "It looks better on you than it did on me. Your waist is a lot smaller. What shoes did you bring?" "I think these black pumps would match the dress," I said, holding up a pair of pretty standard black heeled pumps.

"Yeah, that will work. I also have some tights you can wear since the dress is short."

She went into her closet and pulled out a flat white box that said La Perla on it.

"These are so pretty" She held up a pair of black tights that had a rose pattern.

I slipped on the tights and then my shoes and looked in the mirror. I have to admit Maria knew how to dress me. "I need to straighten my hair," I said, looking at my frizzy wavy hair.

"That looks like it takes a long time." She said, looking at my frizzy locks. "I think I have a tutorial for a nice looking bun; we can just do that."

Maria found a Pinterest tutorial where you put your hair into two ponytails. You then tucked them into each other and were left with a pretty nice-looking bun.

When we finished, she lent me a nice-looking diamond necklace to borrow for the night.

"I think this will match," She said excitedly. She was having way too much fun with this.

"Ms. Maria, your mother, is calling you." A maid called from outside her door.

"Going," She answered, sticking her head out her door.

"Go ahead," I said, "I still need to do my eyeliner." She put her necklace down in front of me.

"I'll see you downstairs."

I did a small wing. I wasn't wearing much makeup. My skin was really sensitive, so I tended to avoid putting much on my face.

I left Maria's room, trying to put the necklace on my fingers, fumbling with the clasp.

Of course, Robbie would choose this moment to step out. He was wearing a white, pressed button-up shirt and black slacks. His sleeves were still open, and he hadn't put on his shoes yet.

His hair was wet; he looked like he just stepped out of the shower.

I stopped in my tracks; this was the first time I was face to face with him after the comment he made at the party. It should be a crime for someone who said mean things to you to still be allowed to look so good.

"Hi, Lia. I haven't seen you around."

He sounded normal; then again, he didn't know I had heard him.

"Hi, Robert," I said shortly. 

I wish I could hear what I sounded like. I felt annoyed, and usually, I was terrible at hiding things. Still, I was about to spend my evening with him and the rest of his family. I mean, honestly, who cares, right? He's allowed not to find me attractive. He could have been kinder in saying it, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

He looked at me strangely, confused by my sharp tone.

"Is my sister with you?" He asked, taking a step closer to me. 

"No, she went downstairs," I said, finally clasping the necklace. Aha!

"You put it on backward," He said, pointing to it as I went to walk past him.

I groaned in frustration and went to undo the clasp.

"Do you need help?" He asked, his brows furrowing. His hands came up, and then he shoved them into his pocket.

"No...yes," I said in resignation and turned around to give him my back.

He came up behind me and took the clasp from out of my hands. I felt that familiar buzz when his fingers brushed mine. He gently pushed the baby hairs at the nape of my neck out of the way. Goosebumps came across my arms and up my neck. I am sure they were noticeable. How embarrassing. I felt a blush start creeping and became frustrated with my treacherous body. I closed my eyes. I could smell the soap he used to shower with and the warm cologne he usually wore.

I heard him clasp the necklace, and then he ran the back of his finger along my spine, following my shoulder down to the tulle cap sleeve of the dress.

He cleared his throat, "done," he said, and I turned around to say thank you.

My words caught in my throat.

He stared down at me, an unreadable expression on his face.

At that moment, his door open and Abigail stepped out, looking like she belonged on the cover of Vogue. She wore a long white dress with a plunging neckline, her blonde hair in waves.

"Is everything okay here?" She asked. She gave me a cold glance.

"Yeah, I was just looking for my sister," Robert answered her.

"I was telling him she was downstairs," I almost stuttered. Then I decided to add, "Abigail, you look really pretty."

I don't know why I felt—caught?

"Thanks," She responded. She looked me up and down. "You look...nice... I suppose." I bit the inside of my cheek and nodded. Then I turned around and went downstairs to find Maria. My hand was involuntarily touching my neck where his fingers were just moments ago.