Chapter 17: Time To Move on

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Laughing with Taylor and Grace felt like I've been missing out on something all my life. Well of course i Have. I've never had a friendship like this before and I wouldn't ever sabotage or push them away ever again. They are my support and definitely in my heart. This made me wonder about my online friend Natalie from back home, I wonder how she was doing and if she was even real. I met her on a anonymous website called teen chat where girls and guys can go to make friends from all parts of the world. But like I said she could be an imposter. I made note to sign into my account one of these days to talk to her.

Grace and Collin were finally official. Grace told me everything they've been up to these past few weeks so far besides calling my phone everyday and I was slightly disgusted that i waisted all my time being sad about Kale and Kingsley and missing out on my friends lives.

Grace told me that Collin took her out on a official date last week on the last day of school. They went skating. She said she fell, but her embarrassment from the moment disappeared when he picked her up and kissed her. Right there at the rink.

It was romantically perfect, the story sounded like something out of a movie to me.

Taylor was driving, Grace was in the backseat and I was in the front seat with my black glasses on while we made our way to go see Ashton's parents.

Of course there wasn't a minute that Kale and Kingsley didn't cross my mind. No matter how hard Taylor and grace made me laugh, or how many scary movies we watched all night, my thoughts still found there way back to them and I know it always would, they are my mates.

I had so many questions like why?
'Why' was front and center. Why do this to me? Why leave me like this?

I felt used you know? I feel like they used me. They relieved to me their true self, we had sex, we expressed how we felt about each other yet I was the lonely one in the end. Instead of me calling them bastards and shitheads I tried to actually look at the situation from their prospective. I tried and I still couldn't find any good reasoning to all this.

Kingsley left like he was obligated to. He wasn't even 100% sure that Tracey's baby was his, he just went by her word and left without me. Kale still made me wonder the most though. He had done nothing wrong but still disappeared. Thinking back on it I think I did love him more then Kingsley.

Kale wasn't complicated or blocked off with disruptive emotions. He said he loved me and he showed it. Even if it was lies he did a great job faking it.

What hurt worst is that he didn't even say goodbye to me.

He just left, disappeared. Who does that to a person they love? Certainly there was no love.

"Are you okay?"
I looked over to see Taylor staring at me with worried eyes. We were at a red light.

No I'm dying inside. I want to scream at the top my lungs and punch things.

"Yeah." I assured her with a small smile and then turned my head staring out of the window at the bright sunny sky. "Just thinking."

Taylor chuckled. "Well don't think to much, overthinking kills the brain cells."

I wiggled my eye brows and chuckled at her. See this is why I need her.

As we approached closer to the city I realized one of the hardest lessons in life is letting go.

Rather it be guilt, shame, heartbreak, love, loss or betrayal, change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let it go.

When we arrived at the restaurant it was about 6:00pm. As Taylor, Grace and I exited the car we gave each other a once over making sure our clothes weren't out of place or anyone's mascara wasn't smudged. I was wearing a black fitted dress with diamond encrusted sandals. My long hair was parted down the middle and lay straightened down my back. I was wearing black glasses to finish my outfit. Grace wore a burgundy skirt with a black cropped shirt that matched with it. Her hair was in a bun. Taylor wore an orange dress similar to mine, her hair was in a sleek low pony tail.

"I know your nervous." Grace grinned at me.
"Honey your shaking." She grabbed my hand with concern.

I didn't realize it until now that my hands were actually shaking. She thought it was because I was meeting Ashton's parents but in reality I was struggling to hold back my ugly cry from thinking about my mates. My body was starting to ache again and I suddenly knew this was a bad idea. I should've just stayed home. This is exactly why I wore glasses, just in case I started to feel emotional and my eyes tear up the glasses will hide it. I can nonchalantly smile and wipe my tears from my face at any time.

"They are nice people and will love you, I promise." Grace and Taylor smiled at me and we happily linked arms and walked towards the restaurant.

It was beautiful inside.

White and beige colored walls. The tables were a nice size. Music played in the background, Wine glasses on every table, It was fairly a good amount of people here also.

"Look who cleans up nicely." Taylor complimented while looking straight ahead. I followed her gaze to Ashton and Collin who were walking towards us.

"Hey baby." Collin mumbles while hugging Grace. He kissed her and oh my goodness I almost passed out from the cuteness. Seeing him hovering over her short body while hugging her only confirmed what I always thought. They looked so good together.
Collin then came over to me slinging his arm over my shoulder. "How are you? I miss you." He whispers. A small smile played on his lips but I could see he wanted me to answer. "I'm okay." I'm smile. He nods and the concern doesn't leave his eyes.

"Ariel." Ashton whispered. In front of me Ashton stood with his hands folded. I could see it in his eyes. The want for me, the sadness but happiness that I was here. Collins arm drops from my shoulders and he goes back to Grace and Taylor who's only a few feet away from us. I gently smiled while walking closer to Ashton. I studied his disheleved mess of hair and his troubled brown eyes. Every since I met him I always thought he looked like he could be a asshole type of guy. A guy who looked good, knew it and used it to his advantage in the worst way. But that's why they say don't judge a book by it's cover because he was the absolute sweetest. I start to feel nervous as we stood face to face because of his stare. "I want to see you." My breath hitches in my throat when he reached for my glasses gently removing them from my eyes. With his face so serious we finally gain eye contact and I can't tell what he's thinking because he's just looking at me.

"God I missed you." He breathed reaching for my waist to pull me into his large body. I hugged him back and got the weirdest feeling in the pit of my stomach. The warmth from his body surrounded me.

"I hope you're okay now." He whispered in my ear. His lips trailing to my forehead leaving a light peck on it as we ended our hug.

"I'm getting there." I mumbled, a small smile spreading on my lips as he looks into my eyes again. All I could think about was the look in his eyes. He was obviously concerned about my well being it was all over his face. He's usually all smiley but today he was not. "Let's eat shall we." Taylor says from beside me and starts to lead the way. Everyone walks ahead while Ashton and I  slowly walked in the back of them.

"I'm here for you, you know that right?" Ashton turned his head sideways while we walked. He was so tall. Staring at me accusingly.

"Yes I know." I told him. He was wearing a black collared shirt with dark jeans. He squinted his eyes at me while sliding my glasses into his pocket. So much for hiding my tears I don't know how I would now. "Regardless of my feelings for you, I'm still your friend and that's before anything, i need you to know that for next time when you decide to block us out like that." He sounded offended as his words left his lips.

I stopped walking while watching his expression. His words caught me completely off guard and he never talked to me like that before.

"Ashton."

Both me and Ashton turned our heads to the side at the sound of his name to our friends who were sitting on the other side of the restaurant near a window. His mother and his father were seated as well.

His mother from what I could see was smiling brightly and waving for us to come over to the table.
As we approached the table Ashton's mother and father were watching us carefully. Or should I say me carefully. They were all smiles but I could see the concentration behind their eyes, as if they were studying my every move.

"Ariel, sweetie your much more beautiful then anyone could possibly describe." Ashton's mother commented while standing up and reaching to hug me. She was pretty and tall, her hair was the same color as Ashton's.

I smiled. "Wow, thank you." While feeling awkward as she hugged me. "Hi how are you." His dad smiles while reaching over Ashton's mom to shake my hand. "Hello." I shake his hand stare at the table still feeling so awkward.

"I'm Tom" he says. Ashton definitely got his looks from him. His mother offered me a seat next to her so I was sitting in between Ashton and his mother. His father moved across from us and then Grace was seated next his father followed by Collin next to her and then Taylor. We were all seated comfortably on the round table.

They all quickly fell into conversation while occasionally just smiled and took sips from my water. I didn't feel uncomfortable I just felt out of place because my mind was not here.

"So Ashton tells us you two have just met this year?" His mother asked me. "Yeah." I smiled glancing at Ashton. "He was the first person I've met on my first day. Definitely the sweetest guy I've ever met."

"Well then," Ashton's dad smirked. "We've taught him well haven't we?" He winked at Ashton's mom.
"So your brother's were okay with you coming out today to meet us?" His mom asked.

"Y-yeah kind of." I shifted uncomfortably in my seat while glancing at Grace who was staring at me.
She mouthed. 'Are you okay?' And I slowly shook my head no for her to save me.

"Ms. Catalina do you think we will ever go back to Alaska?" Grace excitedly asked Ashton's mom. She happily smiled, not noticing the sudden switch in conversation.

"We took everyone to Alaska last year." Ashton's mom told me. "They've been crazy about going back ever since. We take them on a trip twice a year, I'd love for you to join us?" She picks up her water with her hopeful eyes on me.

I definitely got the motherly vibe from her and Ashton's dad seemed like a tough guy with a sweet side. I envied Ashton. He had the perfect life, with perfect parents.

"I'd love to come." I told her.

We ordered our food when the waiter came to us and they cooked it quickly. Every single conversation that we delved into wasn't ever forced or awkward, the vibe with us all together was natural. We seemed like the perfect bunch once I finally relaxed myself and let myself enjoy this time.

"Try this Ariel, it taste's fantastic." Ms. Catalina took my fork and sliced a piece of her chicken. While handing me the fork it pinched the tip of my finger because I was reaching for the fork like a dumb ass instead of letting her place it on my plate.

"Oh jeez I'm so sorry dear." She flinched and quickly snatched the fork away and placing a napkin around my finger. She wiped the blood away from my finger and continued to apologize.

Ashton and I laughed at her. "I'm fine." I repeated to her while laughing. She continued to apologize and offered me more of her delicious chicken which I didn't decline until it was all gone, I was now stuffed.

When Ashton's parents mentioned dessert we all groaned. We were all super full. We've been here for hours already. Eating and stuffing ourselves to death, not to mention telling jokes and laughing too hard. I haven't had this much fun in a long time and while sitting with them and enjoying everyone's company I promised myself that I will continue to make myself happy and try my best to continue my process of moving on.

"Can I talk you?" Ashton places his hand on my back as he whispers to me while still eating from his plate.

"Sure." I nod.

We excused ourselves and went outside of the restaurant. There was a fountain of water out front so I sat in front of it. Ashton stood in front of me staring up in the sky with his hands in his pockets and then he turned towards me. Blocking the setting sun out of my eyes.

My thoughts quickly went back to how he spoke to me earlier. He was pissed that I blocked him out during this time. I didn't blame him but I wish he would understand that I now knew that I could trust them and I knew they were here for me 100%. I wasn't sure about it before and I didn't want to speak to anyone during my depressed state.

"Taylor or Grace won't tell me anything." Ashton exasperated with a sigh. "What happened to you?" His raspy voice is filled with confusion as he stares at me. God knows what is running through his mind as he tries to imagine why his new best friend dropped off of the face of the earth for over a month.

Ashton sat down next to me leaning forward and clasping his hands together. I cleared my throat while looking up at the cotton candy colored sky.

"Remember my brothers?" I mumbled while glancing slide ways at him.

"The ones we met at the movies?" He recalled the movies incident when I exposed that bitch Tracey.

"Yeah." My voice trailed off. "They left me, they moved across the state and left me all alone in the big house. So since my parents are gone and now they're gone, I guess I fell into some type of depression because they are my only family and the one who's literally took custody of me. So when they decided to without me it hurt you know? I felt abandoned."

Since I didn't go into detail I bet this sounded like a tiny problem and not as big as it is. If he knew about the world Kale and Kingsley's lived and if he knew about what I was to them he would probably understand more. Ashton probably thought I should be happy to have entire mansion to myself at 18 years old.

I tried my best to keep my voice as regular as possible but I knew he heard the crack in my voice when I mentioned Kale and Kingsley leaving.

"Those dicks just up and left you in that big house?" Ashton's voice rose as he shook his head disappointedly from side to side.
"Nothing surprises me anymore." He mumbles. 

"But I'm okay." I interjected. "Because I have you, and the others." I put a comforting hand on his arm as if it would relax him, Sadly it only worked on my mates. Ashton squinted his eyes and reached for my hand. Once our hands were locked together he sighed.

"You'll always have us. That's not ever gonna change, but those guys, they hurt you, I can tell by the way you talk about them, they hurt you very bad." Ashton wiped my tear before it could completely fall off my face. I barely cried to Grace or Taylor so easily like this but as soon as Ashton's arms reached for my body I completely let go. I let out my tears and frustration, I let out my heart ache, my pain, my regret of falling for them in the first place. I let out everything into Ashton's arms  feeling him squeeze my body tighter and tighter into him.

"It's okay, let it out." He whispered to me. "Let it all out because I swear to you this will be the last time you ever feel this kind of hurt. I promise you that."

And I believed him.

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