Chapter 2: Sibling Rivalry

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Back at the Addams mansion, Gomez and Morticia were walking down the hall with their new baby with Thing crawling ahead of them.

"I've arranged a little surprise my dearest. I hope you like it." Gomez said.

Thing crawled to a door and pushed it open revealing a very creepy and dark looking nursery.

"Oh Gomez. It's dark, it's depressing, it's desolate."

"It says 'toddler.'"

"It's a dream." Morticia complimented.

"Come, Cara Mia." Gomez gestured to a cradle that was in the center of the room, that had a bunch of knives hanging from the ceiling near it.

"The Addams cradle." Morticia placed their new baby boy in it.

The baby was not like normal babies. Their son had a mustache similar to Gomez's, but smaller.

The baby began to cry and Morticia set down a terrifying looking bear in front of him. She pulled a string and the bear roared and the baby started giggling.

"Welcome home my son." Gomez said with joy.

...

Meanwhile, Wednesday, (Y/n) and Pugsley were sitting in the stairs. The two brothers were cutting up the railing, while (Y/n) sat next to Wednesday and watched them.

"That can't be true." (Y/n) said skeptically.

"It is so, ma précieuse. Everyone knows it. When you have a new baby, one of the other children has to die." Wednesday explained.

"Really?" Pugsley asked.

"It's a tradition. One of us has to go."

"Which one?" Pugsley asked hesitantly.

"Well, they only need one younger child. And I'm the only one who has a girlfriend." Wednesday suggested.

Pugsley's eyes widened, and he started cutting the railing faster, while Wednesday smirked. (Y/n) gently nudged his shoulder and gave him a 'knock it off' look. Wednesday just chuckled at her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to him as he continued cutting the railing.

...

All the adults and (Y/n) were gathered around the cradle looking down at the new baby.

"He has my fathers eyes." Gomez commented.

"Gomez, take those out of his mouth." Morticia said.

"Coochie-coo!" Fester cooed at the baby.

Neither of them noticed that Wednesday and Pugsley were standing by the doorway.

"Awe, he's so cute!" (Y/n) squealed.

"A baby in the house. It's about time. Hey kiddo." Grandmama wriggled her finger at the baby, when a blast of fire shot at them and a flaming arrow whizzed up and into the ceiling.

"Did you see that?" Morticia gushed.

"He's certainly a special little guy isn't he?" (Y/n) chuckled.

Wednesday picked up one of the toys that was in the room and twisted it's head off, and handed the head to Pugsley. He was jealous that (Y/n) was gushing over his new baby brother. She should be gushing over him! That baby was stealing her attention away from him. What if she ends up liking the baby better than him? He couldn't let that happen. That baby had to go.

...

It was night time now, and Lurch was spraying something along the outside of the house. Meanwhile, Wednesday and Pugsley were up on the roof. Wednesday was holding the baby while Pugsley was holding a cannon ball.

"Pugsley, the baby weighs ten pounds. The cannonball weighs twenty pounds. Which will hit the stone walkway first?" Wednesday asked.

"I'm still on fractions."

"Which one do you think?"

"The cannonball?" He guessed.

"Very good. But which in will bounce?" Wednesday quizzed.

"The baby?" Pugsley answered.

"There's only one way to find out." Wednesday smirked. "Ready?"

He held the baby over the edge of the roof while Pugsley held the cannonball.

"One...Two...Three!"

They dropped the baby and the cannonball off the roof.

...

"What a glorious evening." Gomez commented as he and Morticia were in their bedroom.

"Rain." Morticia said.

Gomez stuck his head out the window and caught the baby in his arms.

"Cara mia!" He exclaimed in fear.

"Oh dear." Morticia gasped.

...

The cannonball had fallen on Lurch's head but seemingly unbothered, he kept spraying the house.

...

"Children, why do you hate the baby?" Gomez asked his kids.

"We don't hate him. We just want to play with him." Pugsley explained.

"Especially his head." Wednesday commented. (Y/n) was sitting next to him on the couch, and lightly smacked his arm.

"Children, do you think we love the baby more than we love you?" Gomez asked.

"Yes." They replied.

"Do you think that when a new baby arrives one of the other children has to die?" Morticia asked.

"Yes." They replied.

"Well that's just not true. Not anymore." Grandmama sighed.

Fester scoffed. "It's just sibling rivalry. Gomez, do you remember what we were like? I hated you!" He exclaimed happily.

"I despised you!" Gomez replied.

"I choked him til he lost consciousness, and had to be put on a respirator." Fester said.

"I tied him to a tree and pulled out four of his permanent teeth." Gomez said proudly.

"When he was asleep, I opened his skull, and removed his brains!" Fester yelled.

"You did?" Gomez asked.

Fester burst out laughing. "Brother!"

"Brother!" Gomez flipped Fester onto the wall so he was upside down, and grabbed knives and threw them so they outlined his body.

"Children, you see?" Fester asked.

...

The next day, Wednesday and Pugsley we're playing with their guillotine.

"Death! Death to the enemies of the people of the Republic!" Wednesday exclaimed.

Pugsley released the rope and the guillotine sliced a watermelon in half.

"Hurrah! Just is served. Bring forward the Evil One." Wednesday ordered.

Wednesday raised the blade up as Pugsley brought the baby over in a wagon.

"You have betrayed the people of France. You are evil incarnate. How do you plead?" Wednesday asked.

"Guilty." Pugsley answered in a high pitched voice.

"Guilty! By her own admission. The sentence is death. Executioner, place her on the block." Wednesday commanded.

Pugsley put the baby's head into the guillotine and they began counting down.

"One...two..."

"Children, what are you doing up there?" Morticia called in the distance.

"Playing!" They answered.

"Three!" Wednesday released the rope, and the blade fell towards the baby, but before it could chop his head off, the baby grabbed the blade in between his fingers.

"Woe to the Republic." Wednesday deadpanned.

"Wednesday? What are you doing?" (Y/n) had entered the room.

"Nothing." He shrugged.

She looked over and saw the baby placed on the guillotine.

"What the hell?" She exclaimed. She rushed over and freed the baby, and held him in her arms. "Were you trying to chop his head off?!"

Wednesday looked down at his shoes. "Maybe..." he mumbled.

"Pugsley, give us a minute." She demanded.

"Better him than me." Pugsley shrugged and left.

"What is with you? Why do you hate your brother so much?" (Y/n) asked firmly.

"I don't know. Why do you like him so much?" He retorted in a harsh tone.

"Look at him, he's adorable!"

"You're not supposed to think he's adorable! You're supposed to think I am!" Wednesday whined.

"I thought you hated it when I called you adorable." She pointed out.

"Well, maybe I changed my mind." He argued.

"You need to stop trying to get rid of your brother." She scolded.

"Well maybe if you spent more time with me instead of him, I wouldn't need to get rid of him." Wednesday pouted.

"Wednesday, are you jealous?" (Y/n) realized.

Wednesday avoided her gaze, which gave her her answer.

"Wednesday, you have no reason to be jealous. The baby isn't my boyfriend, you are." She reassured him.

"But you've been giving him so much attention." He complained.

"He's a baby, Wednesday. Babies need lots of attention because they don't know how to take care of themselves yet." She explained.

Wednesday just huffed in annoyance. (Y/n) sighed, and put the baby down in the wagon.

She sat down on a bench and patted the seat next to her. "Come on, sit down." She said.

Wednesday sat next to her and immediately took her hand in his.

"I'm sorry I made you feel neglected Wednesday. But you should know that no one, especially the baby, will ever take me away from you. I love you. Nobody else. Just you."

Wednesday nodded. "I love you too."

"Good." She gave planted a kiss on his lips.

She went to pull away, but Wednesday wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her back in, while his other arms wrapped around her waist pulling her even closer.

Eventually, they were interrupted when the baby started fussing. Wednesday glared at him while (Y/n) giggled.

"Why don't I drop him off with your parents and then the two of us can do something together. Okay?" (Y/n) suggested.

Wednesday smiled at her and nodded. (Y/n) stood up and picked the baby up from the wagon and walked out of the room. The baby looked at Wednesday from over her shoulder and stuck his tongue out at him. Wednesday frowned, and his eyes narrowed. This was so not over.

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