Nico drives us to this park that we used to frequent all the time when we were kids. The park is empty, and we're currently sitting on a bench by the slide. Nico's back is hunched as he looks down at the cemented floor, and I'm beside him with my hand on his upper arm.

"I can't live in that house anymore, Bella," Nico begins. "It's toxic."

"I know," I whisper sadly. That's what this whole situation is...sad. My heart is shattered for Nico because no one deserves to grow up like this. Yes, Nico has his privileges, but at the end of the day, what does a big house and fancy clothes get you if there's no love behind it? "Why don't you come back to my place? You can take my room, and I'll sleep on the couch. Mom and Grandma Ruby will be so happy to have you."

Nico picks his body up and then turns to look at me with a faint smile on his face. He reaches for my cheek with his hand and then rubs my skin with his thumb.

But, suddenly, his smile disappears and is replaced by despair. "This is why I don't deserve you," he says.

I shake my head at the absurdity of his words. "Don't say things like that."

"It's the truth. Look at my life, Bella. It's a mess, and I'm not going to drag you into it."

With my hand still on his arm, I move my face in closer. "Nico, I'm not going anywhere. Whether you like it or not."

He looks disappointed by my words, and I don't know why. I'm giving him my heart, but I don't think he wants it. I don't think he thinks that he deserves it.

"Bella, I can't have you by my side with all this bad shit happening. I'm sorry, but I won't allow it. I care about you too much. I love you too much to let you stick around."

"You can't tell me what to do, Nico. I already decided. I'm not walking away. I'm staying." I go to reach for his hand, but he moves it away so that I can't.

"You can't stay if I'm the one to go first," he tells me.

"What exactly are you saying? You don't want to be with me?" I ask, my voice cracking.

I always knew that if Nico let me fall for him - like really, truly fall head-over-heels in love with him - I'd never recover. If he walks away right now, I don't think my heart could beat the same way ever again; he'd always carry a piece of it.

He gulps and sucks his cheeks in as he heavily considers what to say next. But I know Nico, and he won't say anything because he doesn't want to let me down. He's not going to do what he wants. He's going to do what he thinks is best for the people that he cares about. And right now, he thinks it's best for me not to be with him.

"You're not a coward, Nico," I remind him. "Don't act like one."

"You think that I'm afraid to be with you?" he asks, clearly frustrated by my assumption. "Bella, being with you...loving you...is the only thing that I've ever been certain about."

I'm finally able to reach for his hand. "Then don't go. Don't walk away from me. From us."

"You deserve the entire world, BC."

"You are my entire world."

He looks down again, and I already know that I'm losing him. There's nothing that I can do or say to convince him that he's worthy.

Nico remains silent, but I refuse to speak up first. I'm hoping that he will instead. When I see a tear fall from his eye, I know that the hope that I'm hanging onto is not even remotely a possibility. He's made up his mind.

"For what it's worth," I whisper, "you're the best person that I'll ever know." I go to give him a kiss on the cheek and he closes his eyes as my lips come into contact with his skin. I stand up to walk away, but do it slowly, yearning for him to stop me.

But he doesn't. And my heart breaks with each and every step that I take away from him. Until, finally, I'm in the distance.

***

I'm in the kitchen sitting with Grandma Ruby and mom at breakfast the next morning, but have no appetite. One elbow is resting on the table, the side of my face slumped in the palm of my hand, while the other spoons around the cereal that's in the porcelain bowl in front of me. My expression is indifferent.

While mom and Grandma Ruby don't know the exact details from yesterday, they do know that my sulky mood has everything to do with Nico. They must've called Remi to try and get me to talk about it because she's been reaching out to me nonstop. Obviously, I haven't picked up. The thought of speaking to anyone right now about Nico gives me anxiety.

Grandma Ruby and mom watch me get up from the table and place my full bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats in the sink.

"Honey, would you like me to make you something else to eat?" mom asks.

"Carrie...," Grandma Ruby warns.

"What?" mom turns to Grandma Ruby and whispers. "She can't not eat."

"I'm right here, ya know?" I say. I don't mean for my harsh tone, but I'm sad, and it's coming out in everything that I do. "Sorry," I scratch my forehead and say once I realize that I shouldn't be taking it out on my family. "I'm just not hungry." I make my way past mom and Grandma Ruby and call out, "I'm in my room if you need me."

I'm able to shut my eyes and fall asleep for a few hours. What wakes me is the sound of a chipper voice that comes from downstairs.

"Thanks, Carrie, I'll find out what's going on," I hear Remi say to my mom. Sometimes the people closest to me forget that the sound of a pin dropping can wake me.

I should've locked my door because a minute later, Remi's barging into my room. No knock, no heads-up. Nothing.

"Good morning, sunshine!" she exclaims, pushing open the curtains.

I grab the extra pillow that's beside me and use it to shield my eyes from the light that comes in. "I'm sleeping," I tell her.

"Not anymore," she says, removing the sheets from my body. "Get up!"

"Leave!" I tell her in a joking manner. Though, I'm very serious.

"No can do. I need you to come with me."

She reaches for the pillow that's currently covering my face and removes that, too.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm tired."

"Then I'll get you an espresso."

She stands up on my bed and starts jumping.

"Remi! Do you have to be so annoying?"

"Yes," she smiles. "But if I wasn't, you wouldn't love me."

"Debatable," I mutter.

She hops off the bed and looks at me, grabbing onto her hips. "Seriously, c'mon. We've got to go or we're gonna be late."

I sit up and lean my body against the headboard, looking at her skeptically. "Late for what?"

"I'm afraid that I can't tell you that part. It's a surprise."

"Remi, you've been my best friend for 9 years. You know that I hate surprises."

"You won't hate this one," she states confidently. "Trust me."