Session 27

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Everyone but Isaac believed what I had seen in the memory.

Keenan was in the room as soon as he heard the screaming, shutting me up before the housemothers came. It scared the hell out of Finn, let me tell you. He looked close to crapping his pants, not even arguing when Keenan kicked him out. I still feel bad for the kid. He never knew what kind of man he was hosting.

After a while of blubbering ‘I killed her, I killed her’, Keenan left in search for Isaac and Lorna. It took a while for me to calm down, to be honest. I think I even puked, but I can’t quite remember.

As soon as I could stop mumbling like a goddamn newborn, I debriefed what I remembered to the three. Lorna and Keenan listened patiently, but Isaac looked like he had come face to face with the devil himself.

Till this day, I can’t get that look on his face out of my head. He seemed so broken and shattered, staring at me as if I was the worst thing that ever crossed paths with him.

“You’re wrong,” he was like. “That doesn’t make sense. None of it does.” He kept telling me that I couldn’t prove it, since the cops never found the owners of the car. I couldn’t explain that either, which initially led him to believe that I was lying.

Lorna came up with the fantastic idea of finding the Mason we were so hung up over, so that’s where I’m starting at. Isaac admitted to knowing a Mason from a few years ago.

“He had some pretty messed up thoughts. I couldn’t deal with it,” Isaac said, but he still believed that Mason had nothing to do with Skye. That pissed Keenan off the most, and during that time, I didn’t blame him. We were both tired of the feeling of Rosebay; it was too near to death for our liking. But the more Isaac doubted, the longer we had to stay.

Anyway, we were all sitting in Lorna’s car, driving towards Mason’s house. It took her a day or two to sift through the school’s list of past students to find the right boy that fit Isaac’s description.

Keenan was at the front seat, looking out the window with furrowed eyebrows. Isaac was at the backseat with me, staring out into the distance. I didn’t bother trying to talk with him, so I looked out as well. It took me quite a while to notice that we were on the same road as the one in the memories. I never said anything about it, though, since I had no justification if it was the truth or not.

The long road ended up turning into a neighbourhood, introducing us to the front of those houses that lived on hills. I noticed Isaac’s body tense up as we rode past grand houses, but he never mentioned what was going through his mind. I never pushed the information out of him, though. I’m still not sure if I made the right choice or not.

We drove by a few houses until Lorna stopped at one. It was brown bricked with a beautiful garden sitting at the front that shielded the door. I saw the garden as some kind of barrier, separating those in the house from the rest of the world.

“Isaac will go up to the house with Jack. Mason will probably be more lenient to answer questions if he sees him,” Lorna instructed as she killed the engine. “Keep it nice and quick; I can’t keep you three out—”

Isaac was already out of the car before Lorna could even finish her goddamn sentence, forcing me to scramble after him. We passed by twisting vines along the house and ducked below dying sunflowers, all the way up to double doors made out of mahogany wood.

“You remember this place, don’t you?” I asked quietly as I pushed the doorbell. He stiffened. “I saw you in the car. You know this area too.”

“It doesn’t mean anything,” he snapped. “Coincidences happen in life.”

I couldn’t say anything else since the door opened by that point. We expected to see Mason, but instead there was a young woman standing before us. She wore expensive looking clothes, an apron tied at her waist, and dark hair in a failing bun. A huge grin crossed her face as soon as her eyes met Isaac, pulling him into a hug.

“Isaac! I haven’t seen you in forever!” she exclaimed, pulling away for a brief second. “Look how you’ve grown!”

It took a while for her to notice me standing there. It didn’t feel all that awkward, to be honest. I enjoy seeing people happy, especially during a reunion. There is always something warm about the whole thing.

By the time she noticed me, Isaac was red on the face from all the hugs and kisses. “And who are you?” she asked, trying to keep the same level of enthusiasm in her voice.

I shook her hand. “Jack, miss. I was hoping if we could see Mason for a moment?”

“I’m afraid my son isn’t here,” the woman spoke with a declined tone, glancing down at her shoes. “He went to the UK with his father after his friend Aaron died.”

Isaac perked up. “What does Mason have to do with Aaron?”

“Didn’t you know? Aaron and Mason became friends right when you stopped coming by. After we moved, Aaron would drive all the way up here with his girlfriend and they’d stay in Mason’s room for hours.” She shook her head, smiling faintly. “Teens. It’s such a shame, isn’t it? A young boy loses the one he loves, then soon loses himself too.”

I looked over at Isaac. His colour had regressed to an unnatural shade of white as he stared at the woman with wide eyes. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t see it coming. I mean, after reading how many times she mentioned Aaron in the diary, it was obvious that they were playing some kind of game Isaac wasn’t invited to.

“Mason knew Skye?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Of course. There were times when she was timid around him and it kind of got me growing suspicious. You know how Mason is; sometimes his teasing gets a little serious before he realises it. But he was the one who helped identify her death as a suicide. They must have been good friends if he went to that extent.”

“He saw the crash?” I asked. “What about the people in the car? Did he see them?”

The woman glanced at both of us sceptically. “Why are you two acting so surprised about this? Skye was going back home after visiting the day she was hit. Mason saw it all. He claimed that he couldn’t remember where the culprits had run off. The police never found the criminals, you see. The licence plates and registration was missing.”

I looked over to Isaac; we were both thinking the same thing. He took it. Isaac stood stupidly for a moment, dumbfounded by the information his brain had soaked in less than ten minutes. I started thanking the woman, smiling all goofy like to show that nothing was wrong. We waved goodbye, receiving more hugs before the door slammed shut.

“Do you believe me now?” I asked. He never did look at me; just silently walked back to the car.

I swear, for the whole drive back, he didn’t even blink.

 ***

Keenan was depressed as hell by the time we got back. We went all the way to his room where he lay on his bed and let out a heavy, defeated sigh. No one really knew where Isaac was. We decided not to bother him.

It was night by the time we got back. We stayed out longer than expected since we left somewhere in the late afternoon, if I remember correctly. None of the housemothers questioned Lorna. They couldn’t. Either way, I had the feeling that it would be our last time out.

We were lying on the same bed during that time, trapped in the silence as usual. It wasn’t my idea, by the way. It was his personal request. I couldn’t really say no since he was in a sour mood already.

I guess after all that had happened, I should’ve expected the decay. But that didn’t stop me from becoming uncomfortable with that silence; with all those unsaid words floating above our heads tauntingly. Words that could ignite beauty or destruction. You just had to know how to craft them.

His quiet only sparked my dialogue. I took those words and made them into a sentence, saying, “Do you think it’s over now?”

“Not sure. There are still some things that need to be cleared up. Isaac won’t accept it as it is.”

“Are you going to get your soul, then?”

“When the time comes, I’ll feel it.”

“Do you think we got it right? The mystery, I mean.”

Keenan sighed once more. “It makes sense to me. Two best friends, one cuts off the other...of course he would get jealous. Of course he would want revenge. You heard what his mom said; his teasing gets serious.”

“So you actually think Mason’s the ‘he’ we’re looking for?”

“I know it,” he answered with a nod. “He seems like the mastermind type. Only the smart would think of befriending the bully, using blackmail and false promises to get them to do whatever he wants. He should’ve known that Isaac liked Skye. He should’ve known that Aaron would get her to play fake girlfriend. What he didn’t know was the toll it had on her.”

“Then why did he run—”

“Connections, Jack. He had too many connections. The girlfriend dies right under his house after visiting him...the boyfriend two years later...too much could tie to him, so he ran.”

I sat up for a moment, pulling my eyebrows together. “What about the licence plates and registration? Why did he take those?”

“Fear?” Keenan answered with a shrug. “If the police thought it was a murder, they would dig too deep into it. But a suicide is more of a closed case. Maybe he was afraid you and Cillian would prove otherwise by accident.”

I settled back onto the pillow. “Makes sense.”

“Exactly. I find it funny, actually. Humans—especially the young ones—try to play the same type of game as me. But they’re never good at it. It’s like watching a mathematician fail at their own equation.”  The corner of his lip twitched in amusement. “Strangely satisfying.”

I didn’t say anything about what he said. I mean, I probably should’ve. But I couldn’t bring myself to. I think Keenan knew that as well.

“Hey, Jack.”

“Yeah?”

He turned his head to look at me. “I never got around to thanking you. I mean, I’ve always thought about it when you went out with Lorna or questioned people. You’re not getting anything out of it, but you always worked three times harder than I ever did. So uh, thanks for that.”

“Holy crap, creature. I never thought I’d hear that out of your mouth.”

Keenan laughed, but there was something bittersweet about it. It was the kind of laugh that hurts your heart a little, you know? The kind of laugh that sad people force themselves to make.

“I guess I should say sorry too, huh?”

“You’ve got a hell of a lot to be sorry for, Keenan. You’re going have to be more specific than that.”

He was staring at me with those eyes again. You know, the kind that makes you forget all the crap a person had done to you. You’ve got to watch out for things like that, I swear. People always know how to ruin things for you, especially things like staying angry.

“I guess you were right that day we left East Eldon. I suppose I shouldn’t have touched you, huh? If I hadn’t done that, you probably would’ve been strong enough to turn away. You could’ve made something out of yourself.”

I let out a short, aloof laugh. “You don’t sound so sorry, you know.”

He shrugged. “Because I’m not, to be honest. I don’t think I would want you anywhere else. I don’t care how you take this, but I’m glad that you’re here with me. Don’t tell anyone I told you that, though. I’m serious.”

The air around us grew tense as hell by that point. It wasn’t anything bad, I guess. It was that kind of tense moment where you had to speak to get rid of it, but I was already done with the conversation. I was stunned for the most part, so it was hard to get anything out of my mouth. I couldn’t, not with those eyes staring at me.

The space between us shifted, growing dense as he came closer. I could smell every bit of summer tagged on his skin, itching for me to get a small taste of it as well. But I didn’t move after that; just froze dead in my spot. I mean, I wasn’t aiming to kiss him or anything. Well, at least it wasn’t my initial thought. I just wanted to view him from a new angle; the kind of perspective he kept hidden most of the time.

I took a mental snapshot of how he looked like, embedding each detail deep in my mind. I don’t really know how to explain it to you, but I kind of felt like I would never see him that way again.

I don’t think Keenan ever realised that. I ended up feeling a slight graze of soft skin on my lips in a matter of seconds, a dizzying sensation that caused me to close my eyes just to keep the room from spinning. I swear to you, I felt some sort of friction that damn near drove me off the wall, causing me to lean in more just to get another taste of it. Keenan moved again, closing the small distance between our bodies so much that my skin seemed to burn from the contact.

It was quite different from our time spent at Cillian’s. Back then was a rip-off, something he felt like he had to do for ruining my life. But I knew this was what he wanted to do. The kisses felt more real then, if that makes sense. It made me feel good rather than choking me dry.

The whole thing was kind of confusing, to be honest. I wasn’t quite sure what we were—or what we wanted to be—so I ended up feeling dirty about the whole thing. I was a little reluctant at first, but he cracked through my shell little by little, prying his way to the real me a touch at a time. A kiss at a time. I felt fabric over my head, I felt warmth on my skin, and I felt a thudding heart against my own. His lips seemed to move faster than mine; desperate, eager, and starved like what I was doing wasn’t enough.

Jesus, that nearly killed me. Literally. I mean, I had always thought I would be able to handle it if we ever went that far, but I swear, in that moment, Keenan broke every ounce of my courage into pretty little pieces. It drove me to the point where all I wanted was to show him that I could do more, but I didn’t know where the hell to put my hands.

So for a while, I just followed his lead. Whatever came off of him came off of me. I mean, I don’t think I ever got a talk about what to do with that sort of thing. Even if I did, it didn’t manage to dig itself out of my lost memories. But I didn’t want to stop because of that. It was one of those things where you felt like you had to do it, and if you didn’t, you’d miss your chance for good. So I took my chance, I entered the game, and I prayed to God that I would play it right.

It’s all imaginary, you know. All just chemical reactions in the brain. That warm feeling thrumming through your heart as you crave more than what your body can take in, but your body wants it more than anything. Then there’s a flash of what could go wrong, like those ratings on movies that seem to tell you, “this is what you’re getting yourself into.” Then that vision blurs, and an epidemic of distorted sensibilities and lustful awakening overcome you for minutes or hours, just enough until you think you’re satisfied but you never will be.

I didn’t think we were ever going to be satisfied, which was why I was so goddamn worried about everything. There were simple touches he made whenever he felt the hesitation, mumbling minimal words between kisses.

He told me not to be scared about anything since Lorna would cover for us, but I think he was mistaken about the look of fear on my face. I wasn’t scared about being caught; I was scared about drowning in him again and maybe this time, I wouldn’t be able to swim my way out. I wouldn’t be able to pretend that nothing was going on between us anymore. I was so afraid to admit that what I was feeling was real and not something I had fabricated in my mind. What would happen to me later? I thought. What would happen to him? What will become of us when the lust is gone?

Then all of a sudden, I was alright with losing myself. I was alright with whatever would occur the moment the sun broke from the horizon. I was okay with being selfish, as long as I got to keep the memory of the way he looked right there and then.

Keenan stopped abruptly, nearly making me choke on the air he granted. We ended up naked quicker than I thought it would take, nothing but red skin glowing from the embarrassment. But Keenan didn’t seem to mind it much. He didn’t seem to mind the scars, or my nervousness, or the tremble my body held.

He glowed like the sun; a sweeping light that seemed to burn through the fog and allowed us to breathe. He stared at me in a way like he couldn’t believe what was happening as much as I did. Right there and then he said something that could’ve killed me, something that I’m too embarrassed to even repeat. Then he moved in again and I felt it; that moment of pure honesty floating in ecstasy and natural harmony.

And I swear, in that moment, I saw the rest of my life.

A/N: Yeah, that happened.

Song introduction once again! This one is 'For You' by Angus and Julia Stone. I thought it went well with that one scene.

Dedicated to RoyaltieFallenQueen for keeping me going with their comments and support. They love the story enough to go in depth with it, which really means a lot to me. Oh, don't think I didn't see the comment you made back on session 14 c;

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