"You don't have any curfews you said. Can I take you out?"

Ilang minuto na ang nakakalipas matapos ang tanong niyang iyon pero paulit ulit na tumutunog sa utak ko. My smiles almost reached his car's ceiling. Kulang na lang ay lumabas ako, salubungin ang hangin at tumili na lang bigla. He's taking me out!

I glanced at him for the nth time and bit my lips. Nasa daan ang mga mata niya pero kumpara sa madalas kong nakikita, he looked relaxed now. His strong snob aura is silently fading.

Tahimik kong pinupuri ang bawat sulok ng mukha niya. His side profile is really a heart attack. The sharp jaw that will make my lips bleed in case I kissed them, but the hell I care. Those lips that brought me insecurities because its pure plump red. Ang pilantik ng mga mahahaba niyang pilik mata ay malambot at maingat, salungat iyon sa rahas ng itim niyang mga mata. His Pakistani blood is strong that made him look like those reckless dirty vibe actors in erotic films that most of the teenager is obsessed, these days.

I took out my phone and pressed my camera button. Tinapat ko iyon sa gilid ng mukha niya. Saktong pagtaas ng kilay at paglingon sa akin habang nakaawang ang labi niya ay nakuhanan ko siya.

"Stop taking pictures," he annoyingly said.

I giggled and stared at his photo. It was a bit shaky but dude! I can sell it for trillions!

Ngumuso ako. "I love taking pictures. Ayaw mo ba?"

"I don't like pictures."

"Huh? Bakit? Ang gwapo mo naman, ah. Sayang!"

He licked his lips and looked at me while I put his picture on my wallpaper. "Do you take pictures of your boys, too?"

Umiling ako kaagad sa tanong nita. "No. Hindi naman sila ganyan kagwapo.."

"You really know how to trick men, don't you?"

"Ha? Hindi, ah!" tanggi ko.

He stopped his car on the side of the highway. Tumingin ako sa bintana at kita ko ang kulay lila na ulap sabay ang paghampas ng tubig sa dalampasigan. I smiled and opened my door when he opened his, too.

Sabay kaming bumaba sa sasakyan. Maingat akong pumatong sa bloke ng semento sa gilid upang tignan ng maayos ang lilang ulap. I smiled when the cool waves of El Vicente breathed on my body.

"Mahulog ka pa d'yan," masungit na saad ni Rashid at naupo sa tabi ng paa ko.

He looked up and creased his eyebrow. "Sit, Gianna."

I giggled. Humawak ako sa balikat niya para maupo ng maayos. He held my arms just to guide me to sit. The paperbag that he was holding a while ago is on his lap now.

"Nanalo ka sa billiards?" I asked.

Tumaas ang kilay niya habang binubuksan ang paperbag. "Kailan ba ako natalo?"

He pulled out a beer and handed me one. Kinuha ko kaagad iyon. Akala ko beer lang ang laman ng paperbag niya pero humugot pa siya ng isang pakete ng sigarilyo.

Ngumuso ako. "Can I try that?"

He opened it. Akala ko bibigyan ako pero nang humugot siya ng puting sigarilyo ay diretso sa bibig niya iyon. The cigarette was between his red lips. He even pursed his lips just to hold up properly.

"I never tried that. This is a good place to have my first time," I said and handed my hand, humihingi ng isang stick para masubukan.

Inalis niya iyon sa bibig niya at inipit gamit ang hintuturo ang gitnang daliri.

He licked his lips. "No, Gianna.."

I frowned and watched him put back the cigarette on his lips. Hinugot niya ang itim na lighter sa bulsa at sinindi iyon. Pinanood ko siyang nanliliit ang dalawang mata habang hinahawakan ng isang kamay ang sigarilyo at ang isa'y taga sindi ng sigarilyo. He successfully lighted it up. Sininghap niya ang sigarilyo at tumingala para ibuga ang usok.

I watched how the white smoke from his lips matched up with the faded purple sky. It doesn't smell nice since its cigarette but that didn't matter to me.

"You've been here?" he asked while he stared the peaceful seaside.

"Nadadaanan lang.." ngumiti ako. "Ikaw? Lagi ka rito?"

Tinukod niya ang dalawang kamay sa likod. One is behind me and one is on his side. His eyes were focused on the sea. The setting sun is very clear on his eyes. The darkness of his eyes reminded me the scary moon and now that I see how the sun set on it, I suddenly saw the moon's point of view from afar.

The sun overcome by lassitudes for shining all day long and decided to have her exit but she's worried knowing that the world might have no light anymore. She doesn't have a choice. But then, here's the moon, silently creeping and witnessing his sun's struggle. So when the sun let go of her light, retired from giving her light.. the moon stepped out and decided to overtake and be the light of the world while his sun rests.

"I like drinking here.." he said.

Nilingon ko siya. "Lagi?"

"Minsan."

"May dinala ka na bang babae dito?"

Humigop siya ng isa at binuga muli sa taas bago ako sagutin. "Meron.."

I gritted my teeth. Binuksan ko ang beer. I didn't mind if it'll break my nails, I'm glad it didn't. Sinubo ko kaagad iyon at ininom.

"Sino? Madami?"

He stared at me longer. "Isa lang.."

"Sino?" umangat ang dalawang kilay ko, handang marinig kung sino ang tinutukoy niyang babae niya.

"Ikaw," he smirked.

Dumbass. Kinabahan pa ako!

Tinikom ko ang labi para sa nagtatagong ngiti na mahirap pigilan. Sa huli ay uminok muli ako sa hawak kong canned beer at tumitig sa maaliwalas na dagat.

"You know how to trick girls, huh." I chuckled.

"Its hard to trick you." he mumbled and opened his beer. Tumingin siya sa akin. "Hindi ka pa sa'kin, e.."

My mouth hanged open a bit. It was a five minute stare after that. He was waiting for my reaction. Kinagat ko ang labi ko at nag-iwas ng tingin.

Gusto kong paulit ulit tanungin ang sarili ko.. nasaan na nga kasi ang tapang ko?

I heard his chuckle getting closer to me. Huminto ang paghinga ko nang maramdaman ko ang singhap niya sa leeg ko. Humigpit ang kapit ko sa beer na hawak at tinitigan ang nakabuka niyang hita habang ang isang kamay ay nakapatong doon, hawak ang nakasinding sigarilyo niya.

He sniffed my hair. "Wala ka pala, e.."

Nang maramdaman kong minamaliit niya ang tapang ko ay nilingon ko ang ulo ko. I saw how he stopped when my face almost touched his. I angled my face and stared at his eyes as long as I can.

"Sayo na ako, matagal na." my eyes wandered on his parted lips. "Sayo lang, Rashid.."

He smirked and angled his face, too. Hindi nagpapatalo sa kahibangan! Kung hibang siya, alam kong ganoon din ako.

"Why kiss another man if you're mine, then?" his nose touched mine purposely.

Sikreto akong suminghap, natatakot na baka mahuli niyang nagsisimula na akong manghina sa kumpetisyon na gusto niya. He bit his lips and twinkled his eyes towards me.

"What should I do with your nonstop jealousy, hmm, Rashid Ace? Gusto mo.. halikan din kita?" I lift up my hand and caressed his face. "Hmm?"

He clenched his jaw and I felt it. Lihim ang ngiti ko habang patuloy na inaanggulo ang mukha. His other hand that's behind me was already pulling my clothes, just so I could pull back myself but he knows that won't do anything.

I closed the gaps between us. My lips brushed his. Malambot. Pumikit ako nang ilapat ko ang labi ko. It was a peck but it was different. Maybe because I like him so much or maybe because he deserves to be different among all of the boys I've kissed.

He stiffened as I pushed back myself. Tumitig ako sa dagat na pulang pula ang mukha sa simpleng dampi lang ng halik sa labi. I stared at the calm ocean with my haywire heart. Damn it! That was our first!

"Damn it. You win.." he whispered behind me.

Kinagat ko ang labi ko na dumampi sa labi niya kanina. If I had a chance to share my happiness to the world, it would probably grow mirthful and serene.

Watching the sunset along with the calm seaside, hearing the soft ripples of water with him on my side. I could stay here forever, drink this beer nonstop and even sniff his cigarettes with no buts if I could. The cool waves scourging our bodies didn't matter. For I have my Ace, and he have me..

A silent whisper of wish from my head blew along the wind. Whatever I am in my future, I hope he's part of it.

I went home with a smile plastered on my lips. Kaagad iyong napawi nang makita ang ina kong nakaupo sa sala, mukhang may hinihintay. She looks upset by how she didn't wear her make up today. Tumayo siya kaagad nang makita ako.

I kissed her cheek. "Mom, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Hindi pa umuuwi ang Daddy mo hanggang ngayon," she started. "I tried to call him but he doesn't answers. Gianna, I'm getting worried!"

Binaba ko ang bag ko at kinunutan siya ng noo. "Mom, isn't that great? Na wala na siya dito?"

Nanlaki ang mata niya. "Gianna, don't say that! He's your father."

"Yes, Mom. He's my dad. But he cheated." mariin ko siyang tinignan. "Buong buhay kong nagtitiis ka dahil narito si Dad, Mommy. Aren't you happy he decided to leave now?"

Suminghap siya at napahawak sa dibdib, tila masakit iyon dahil sa sobrang pagkagulat sa sinasabi ko. I don't want to hurt my mother but I just don't understand her sometimes. This is not right. Being martyr is not right when you still persue someone you shouldn't. You should know your limitations. Kung mali na, itigil na.

"You've been hurting for so long. Bakit hanggang ngayon tinatanggap mo pa din ang lalaking 'yon—"

"Because he's my husband!" she angrily said.

"But he cheated, Mom! Not just once but twice and he can do that again!" I shouted. "If you're thinking about our family, then don't! Matagal nang sira ang pamilya natin, Mommy. We're just living under one roof but our relationship towards him is already broken!"

Dinuro niya ako. "How dare you shout like that about your father! Hindi ko ito ginagawa para sa sarili ko, Gianna Bryn. I'm doing this for you!"

"I don't need him, Mom." I gritted my teeth. "Ikaw ang may kailangan sa kaniya. Hindi ako. That's why its hard for you to let him go. And I refuse to be like you, mother. I will never be blinded because of love."

Tinahak ko ang kwarto ko, tinalikuran ang ina kong mahinang tinatawag ang pangalan ko. I closed my door and refused to talk to anyone right now.

Maybe love is really that greedy. She'll eat all of the strength you have. Almost like a severe disease with no cure. She's like a snake, poisoning everyone using her winsome fruit. And if you try it, you'll be blinded. All over.

Funny how I even said that. Who's not being blind for love, anyway? Lahat naman siguro tayo, kahit minsan, nagawang mabulag dahil sa pagmamahal. There's just some people who knows their own dead end. Those people who knows how to save themselves.

"Sama ka na, Gi.." yaya ni Issa sa akin nang maabutan niya akong mag-isa sa ilalim ng paper tree.

"Sabado?" paninigurado ko.

"Oo! Sasama ko si Zhianela, painumin natin. Sumama ka na, nandoon si Rashid." ngiti niya sabay taas baba ng kilay.

Ngumuso ako at nag-isip ng malalim. Ever since Issa knew that I like Rashid, she started updating me about his doings in their usual class. Magkaklase kasi sila sa isang subject at puro negatibo lang naman ang sinasabi niya. Issa is my most trusted person among my cousins. Because like I said, we have the same taste and more than that, she's a trust-worthy person.

Hindi niya itinuloy ang panlalakad doon sa kaibigan ni Catherine nang malaman niyang gusto ko si Rashid. I really appreciated that.

"Pag-iisipan ko," pakipot na sabi ko dahil minsan, nahihiya akong ipagkalandakan kay Issa na gusto ko ang taong 'yon.

She giggled. "Ikaw, ha. Akala ko si Hunter ang gusto mo, nakikita ko kasi kayo magkasama minsan!"

I rolled my eyes. Ang isang 'yon, palitaw litaw sa paligid ko kaya iyan, kung ano ano ang naiisip ng mga tao. Kanina ay bigla na lang siyang lumitaw, nanghihingi ng ruler sa akin kasama si Ruther at ilang alipores.

Inakbayan ako ni Issa, "Baka gusto mong magbago ang isip at kay Hunter na lang, sabihin mo lang sa akin at ako ang bahala. O kaya, may iba ka pa bang gusto sa kanila? I can do something about that!"

Tumawa ako at naisip sakyan ang biro niya. "Si Dylan?"

"Oh, that's a great idea. He's a great help in your acads! That one's a genius." she laughed.

"But his parents are strict."

"Iyon lang.." she shook his head. "They probably like a complete package woman. That's not us so.." humalakhak siya.

Yeah, I think so, too. Just like Dylan's parents, I thought Rashid likes someone who is really smart. Hindi iyong ganda lang. Considering myself, pakiramdam ko ang layo. I'm not smart but also I'm not as stupid as you think. I don't ace tests but at least I understand them. I guess, ganda lang talaga..

Tumambay muli ako sa shop ni Lerwick nang matapos. Hindi ko alam kung pupunta si Rashid ngayon dito pero nagbabaka sakali lang. I didn't see him again today.

"Sa susunod may bayad na ang pagtambay dito," si Lerwick nang makita akong dire-diretsong pumasok.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Magpapa-appointment ako!"

Wala siyang costumer ngayon. Wala din ang mataray niyang girlfriend. Pero kita ko ang mga gamit niyang nililigpit pa lang, mukhang katatapos lang bago ako dumating.

"Sure. Wala nga lang kai-kaibigan sa presyo. No discounts."

I frowned jokingly. "Akala ko ba type mo ako?"

"I didn't said I'm into you, though."

"Bakit? Pwede din naman?" I chuckled. "Come on, Lerwick. Discount lang naman.."

"Yaman yaman mo."

"I'm trying to save money now. Sabi mo type mo ako? Baka crush mo ako? Sige na.." I cutely pouted at him.

Tumigil siya sa paglilinis at tinitigan ako. Umiling iling siya at hilaw na ngisi ang binigay sa akin.

Kinuha niya ang logbook sa lamesa at itinuro. "Sulat mo na lang pangalan mo."

"50%?" I smiled wider.

"Abusado! 20% lang!" he laughed.

I made a face and laughed. Tumayo ako at sinulat ang buong pangalan ko doon.

Napaisip ako ng maayos. Tatts? Its really never a plan for me but since I'm already here, not bad, I guess. Isa pa.. this is once in a lifetime. Enjoy living, explore your first times!

I bugged Lerwick for minutes while waiting for Rashid. Pero ilang minuto ay wala pa din dumadating na kahit sino sa shop ni Lerwick. Ngumuso ako nang makitang mag-aalas singko na pero hindi pa din dumadating iyon.

"Puntahan mo," Lerwick said.

Nag-aayos na siya pauwi dahil hindi naman raw siya dito natutulog. He has an apartment near here so he have to go home. Kanina pa siguro siya dapat umuwi pero dahil nandito ako ay hindi siya makauwi.

"Nasa billiards na naman ba?"

Tumango siya. "That's his past time. Sa Paseo. Punta ka 'don tapos sabihin mo pangalan, ituturo na sa iyo 'yon.. He's a boss there, you know." biro niya sabay tawa.

Dinala ako ng paa ko sa lugar na sinasabi ni Lerwick. Its not too far from the place but it was secluded. Tinuro naman ni Lerwick ang direksyon pero nalilito pa din ako kaya halos natagalan ako doon.

Baku-bakong kalsada, tindahang puno ng umiinom na mga lalaking walang damit, dikit dikit na bahay, iyak ng mga sanggol at nagtatakbuhang mga bata.

I held my bag firmly as I stepped out of my car. It was like a squatters area but I don't want to judge. Ang mga mata ng tao'y nalipat sa akin na tila ba isa akong uri ng tao minsan sa isang dekada kung magpakita sa kanila.

"Hi, miss sexy!" paswit ng mga lasing na nag-iinuman. They laughed. Mga malalaki ang tiyan at mabalbas.

Yumuko ako habang naglalakad. A group of old women were looking at me. Nagbulungan sila at ang iba'y pinapasadahan ng tingin ang itsura ko.

"Mayaman, gara ng kotse." I even heard that.

Binalewala ko iyon. Luminga linga ako, umaasang makita ang sinasabing bilyaran dito. Gumilid ako nang may isang batang marumi ang damit ay sinubukang hawakan ang handbag ko. I smiled at him and opened my bag. Dumukot ako ng piraso ng chocolate at inabot sa kaniya.

She clapped. "Uy, chocolate! Pekto! Lina!"

Napawi ang ngiti ko nang nagtawag siya ng iba. I thought they'd ask for more but the little girl opened the piece of chocolate and divided them into three just so her friends could eat.

I don't have any chocolates anymore. Bumuntong hininga ako at dumukot ng pera sa bag. I pulled out a hundred and handed it to them.

Akmang kukunin na ng lalaki nang sigawan iyon ng ale na nasa gilid lang din. "Pekto! Halika nga dito! Sabi ko sayo h'wag kang lalapit sa mga hindi mo kilala. Hindi mo alam kung rebelde 'yan o sindikato!"

Umawang ang labi ko. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"Gianna," I heard my name behind me.

Umaliwalas ang mukha ko nang makita ko si Rashid na humihithit ng sigarilyo sa likod ko. I smiled widely but he didn't. Isang itim na tank top ang suot niya at maong jeans. He didn't wear his uniform. Pumasok ba siya?

"Bagong bata mo ba Rashid? Tiba tiba tayo d'yan, ah!" sigaw ng lasing na nakatayo na sa gilid habang pumapapak ng junkfood sa kamay.

Iritado niyang tinignan ang lasing. "Bumalik ka na lang sa alak mo, Berto."

"Gago talaga 'to," iling niya kay Rashid. "Akala mo kung sino, hindi mo lupa ang tinatapakan mo, hoy!"

Umigting ang panga ni Rashid at umabante, kaagad kong nahuli ang braso niya. "Wala akong pakialam sayo."

"Rashid.." I called and gently pulled him. "Its okay."

"Hindi porke't mayaman ka, hindi kita papatulang bata ka! H'wag mong ikailang tulad ko, wala ka ring kwenta at minsan nang nalulong sa droga!"

It was a very fast move. Rashid got off my hold and he immediately blow off the man's face. Kaagad natumba ang lalaki, sumabog ang hawak niyang junkfood. Hindi iyon naging sagabal kay Rashid para muling dakpin ang kwelyo ng lalaki.

The guy was tall and a bit chubby but Rashid is taller and bulky! Ugat pa lang ng kamay ay masasakal na niya ang lalaking iyon. My eyes widened when the man tried to punch him, too, but he immediately avoided it. Instead, he punched him, harder this time.

"Rashid, oh my god!" I shouted out of my nervousness.

"Tangina mo, Añonuevo—" he didn't even finish a sentence because of Rashid's fist.

And I can't believe people were just there, looking at them and some are gasping! May rinig pa akong halakhak sa gilid at pustahan. Matalim kong tinignan ang mga lalaking iyon.

"Rashid, tama na!" nanlalambot na ako dahil sa matinding kaba.

He stood up. Bagsak ang balikat ko at hindi pa napapawi ang takot. Umaangat baba ang likod ni Rashid at namumuti ang dalawang kamay sa kakayukom. He was eager to punch the guy that I was so scared that he might kill him. Pulang pula ang tenga niya at halos maging lahat ng parte ng mukha. Nilingon niya ako na may mabigat na expression sa mukha.

He gritted his teeth and in an instance, his face softened as he saw how scared I was. Nangungusap ang mga mata ko, nagmamakaawa pa din. He walked towards me, held my hand and pulled me to whisper.

"Baby.." he said hoarsely. "I'm sorry."