Kabanata 3

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I only remember few things after that night. Hinatid ako ni Jovan sa bahay pagkatapos 'nun. But a slight memory hits my head. That old man wasn't really an old man.. I have a hunch but I don't want to confirm it yet. Because if its really Rashid, then that would be a big embarrassment for me!

And just like that, after a week, I distanced myself from Jovan and other boys, too. I realized that maybe Rashid was right—well, if he is that guy. I was genuine about everything I said on my letters but dating boys and making out with them makes me look like I'm not.

Nakatago kami ni Shae sa poste ng gymnasium habang inaabangan ang pagdaan nila Rashid galing sa faculty room. Iritado na si Shae kanina pa pero hindi ko siya pinapansin.

"I can just talk to Ms. Julie later for you," the smart boy, Dylan.

Rashid shook his head. "Kaya ko. She won't suspend me for it, surely."

"Baka kailangan ni Ms. Julie ng kaunting lambing. That's what I did when she scolded me for kissing Janna in class last year." Hunter smirked and shrugged.

Inambahan siya ng suntok ni Rashid. "Do you think I'd do that?"

Humalakhak si Zhyner at inakbayan si Hunter. "Mr. Rashid Ace is cheesed off. Sibat na tayo baka ma-knock out ka pa d'yan sayang pusta ko sayo."

Nakita ako ni Rashid nang hinuli ko si Shae nang akmang aalis. Nagkatinginan kami. Bakas ang gulat sa mata ko nang makitang nagtagal ang tingin niya sa akin habang naglalakad palayo.

He's glaring! He's glaring!

Niyugyog ko si Shae nang makaalis sila at nawala na sa paningin ko. "Oh my god! He's glaring at me!"

"Aray!" inayos niya ang nagkanda-hulog hulog na gamit. "And that's a good thing, huh? Baka naiinis na sayo!"

I can't keep smiling. Nakatingin pa din ako sa lugar na dinaanan nila kahit wala naman siya doon. My face is so flushed because of that.

"But he still looked at me!" pangangatwiran ko.

"Kasi may mata siya?"

I frowned. "Shae, he looked at me for seconds. He doesn't do that! Halos parang hangin nga ako sa kaniya kahit idikit ko mukha ko, hindi ako papansinin 'nun! But look at that! That's a big change!"

She rolled her eyes and put back her headband on her red hair. "Fine. Did you put something on the chocolate? Pero bakit ganoon? Masama tingin sayo?"

I pursed my lips.

That night.. I only remembered how I insulted his car and his words saying that he will not date me because of too much flirting with men. Iyon lang ang naalala ko. Damn it. I really shouldn't drink too much next time.

The next days, I thought of write him another love letter. This time, ibibigay ko na ng diretso sa kaniya. Tinatadtad ako ng text messages ni Jovan habang nagsusulat sa bench. I frowned and turned off my phone to concentrate.

"Hi, Gianna!" boys called me from the side.

Nilingon ko sila. Basketball players. Pumito ang isa sabay kaway sa akin.

I sat properly because I'm wearing a short skirt and only a cycling inside. Ngumisi ako at kumaway dahil kakilala ko naman ang iba sa kaniya. May isa pa yata akong ex doon noong elementary, I don't remember exactly.

"Wala na daw kayo ni Jovan? Hindi mo na daw type ang kaedad mo?" Jose, a classmate in high-school as far as I remember.

Kumunot ang noo ko. Where did that even came from? I don't have any specific type! Well.. I have now. Its Rashid.

Lumapit na sila sa akin. Pawisan ang iba pero hindi naman masyadong maamoy. I kept my pink love letter on my notebook. I smiled awkwardly at them because they just ruined my mood writing a letter for Rashid.

"Hindi naman kami." I smiled, hinawi ko ang buhok at nilagay sa likod ng tenga.

"Huh? Sabi niya naging kayo raw!" sabi ng isa. "Nagbreak daw kayo kasi nagselos ka sa mga kaibigan niya doon sa bar!"

What? Saan iyon nanggaling?

"He's just bitter," a tall guy said and smiled at me. "He just want his ego back. It would be a big loss being dumped by Gian, that's why."

"Its not his fault," I shrugged. "It was my choice.."

"He's also an asshole. Bagay lang 'yon sa kaniya. Last month, pinagsabay si Angie at Flora Mae!"

Honestly, I actually liked Jovan. But not much that I want to be in a relationship with him. We're better of as.. friends, maybe.

Sure, we kissed and maybe that's the reason why he's still bugging me. Siguro naisip niyang gusto ko din siyang halikan noon. I was drunk and that's all. As much as I want to talk to him about it, I know he will just bring that up and bug me again. Ayaw ko ng ganoon.

"So, Gianna, wala ka bang boyfriend ngayon?" si Jose.

Nagkantyawan sila. Hindi ko mapigilang matawa din dahil sa mga kantyaw. Kumamot sa batok si Jose at bahagyang namula dahil sa mga kaibigan niya.

I was about to say something when I saw a figure walking by down the benches. Pigura pa lang, kilala ko na. His eyes went directly on us. He was with this sexy teacher that's grinning while talking to him. Nagkatinginan kami.

Misteryoso ang mga mata niyang unti unting tumalim sa akin. He looked at the boys around me. Doon ko narealize na ang dami pala nilang nakapalibot sa akin para akong isang maliit na kuting sa gitna nila.

Tumayo ako kaagad at niligpit ang mga gamit ko. I smiled awkwardly at the boys. "I need to attend a class. Sorry, ha, uhm.. Jose."

He smiled shyly and nodded. "No problem, Gianna. Kita nalang tayo sa.. sa paligid." he let out a nervous laugh.

Hinanap ko si Rashid. He's out of the gym now. Bagsak ang balikat ko habang hawak hawak ang notebook na may sulat ko sa kaniya. Its not yet complete but I can give it to him now. Besides, he saw me on the bench so maybe I can say that I wrote this letter for him! Atleast, nakita niya ako!

Kagat kagat ko ang labi ko habang mahigpit ang hawak sa pink na envelope na hawak ko. Paulit ulit ko iyong binasa at halos isa isahin kung may mali ba ako sa spelling o sa grammar ko..

Hi, Rashid. This is probably your first time reading my letter, well, I hope its not. I gave you a letter last time, the one with a bar of chocolate. I hope you won't get offended. If you are, then maybe you should suggest if I'd just write a letter for you instead. I watched your gig last time and I must say that you're really a good pianist!

Anyway, about last time.. I want to apologize for the things I've said. I was drunk and I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't even recognize you. But after all, I want to thank you for staying with me until Jovan came. I don't clearly remember our talk but maybe you can allow me to have a little talk and discuss about it. Its your choice. I'm always adding my phone number down my letters in case you respond..

So here it goes : 09102683854

Love, Gianna



Umakyat ako sa building nila Rashid nang matapos ang klase ko. Binalewala ko kung late ako sa susunod dahil kahapon ay hindi naman umattend iyon. I peeked at their locker room. Ofcourse, memorize ko ang locker niya!

Walang tao at medyo madilim talaga sa banda dito. Nasa likod ko ang sulat habang tahimik na naglalakad at nagmamasid masid sa paligid. I stopped on the last locker beside the restroom. Sumungaw ako sa magkabilang dulo para lang makasigurado.

I jumped when someone came out from the restroom!

"Holy—" I gasped. ".. shit!"

Kumunot ang noo ni Rashid habang inaayos ang polo shirt niya. Mabilis kong tinago ang pink na sulat sa likod ko. He looked at the both sides and back to me again.

I can feel my heating cheeks right now. I really should've made sure no one was here! Damn it!

"What are you doing here?" he asked and looked at his locker.

His face relaxed a bit, looks like he knew what I am for and I'm not embarrassed of that. Talagang nakaka-intimidate lang siya ngayon!

I licked my lips and slowly took out my letter. Kinagat ko ang loob ng ibabang labi ko sabay lahat sa kaniya sa papel na mahigpit na hawak ko. Nagusot ito ng kaunti dahil doon.

He looked at it like it was just a trash coming from a.. well.. I don't know.

"An apology letter." I smiled nervously.

"For what?"

"Huh?"

Umawang ang labi ko. What does he mean by that?

"An apology letter for what? For bugging me with your corny love letters and candies?"

Candies.. What? That was a branded chocolate!

"About that night.." humina ang boses ko kasabay ng unti unting pagbaba ng kamay ko.

Sandali, isn't he that guy.. from.. the bar? Siya 'yon! I'm sure he's that guy. From my drunk vision, it wasn't clear because obviously I was drunk. But I know.. I have a strong feeling.

He raised his eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Halos itago ko na ang sarili ko at ipukpok ang ulo sa dingding. This is so stupid, Gianna! How can you even tell that he is that guy when you're drunk and you remember the guy having beard, wrinkled face and has an old truck?

"Oh! I'm sorry," I laughed falsely. "I mistaken you for someone!"

He stared at me blankly and looked at my letter with a disgusted eyes. Tinuro niya iyon gamit ang pagtango.

"When will you stop doing that?"

"Huh?" gulat na tanong ko.

Sumandal siya sa locker niya at tamad akong tinignan. Tinabingi niya ang ulo niya. "I have to be frank. Stop doing that shit to me. I'm not a part of a puzzle or anything. Because clearly, it doesn't flutter me at all. It disgusts me."

I watched how his lips said those words that stabs my chest and made me feel how disgust he is. Hanggang sa natulala na lang ako sa mga sinabi niya.

"You have a lot to impress, anyway. Why don't you give that to your bunch of guys?" he smirked. "What? You find me challenging?"

Kumunot ang noo ko at halos kapusin ang hininga. He looks so playful with a high mixture of danger.

"No.. Ofcourse not—"

"Then, what? You like me? Kasi ano? Give me a reason, Gianna." tamad siyang tumingin sa akin at pinaglaruan ang dila niya sa labi.

I'm not prepared!

"I can't explain it with words—"

"Crap." he laughed. "You send me letters yet you can't explain it with words?"

"Well, Rashid—"

"Don't even call me that."

"Fine. Añonuevo." matalim ko siyang tinignan at kumunot ang noo. "Bakit kasi hindi mo binabasa ang mga sulat ko, nang sa ganoon ay hindi ka ganiyan kung makapagsalita sa akin?"

He clenched his jaw. "Its not my obligation to read your stupid letters. H'wag mo akong turuan ng gagawin ko."

"I'm not! I'm just saying if you'd read my letters—"

"How can I? I don't even understand your handwriting."

Natahimik ako doon. I shut my mouth up because he's got a fucking point!

"Fine!" iritadong sabi ko. "Gagandahan ko na sa susunod!"

"I won't read it anyway. You're writing for nothing." tumuwid siya ng tayo. "After all, I still don't deal with a bad girl."

He played a smirk on his lips as he turned his back, leaving me jaw dropping because of his last words.

Damn you, Añonuevo! I knew it.

Clearly, he denied being that man on that night because he doesn't want to accept my letters. Isa iyong malaking sampal sa akin. He's using his genius on me and I can't believe it.

I told Shae about it and about that night, too, because I was so upset and I needed to open it out to someone. Akala ko ay malaki ang maitutulong ni Shae pero muli ay sinabihan niya akong h'wag nang mabaling sa lalaking iyon dahil wala naman raw akong napapala.

Well, maybe, wala.. for now. Damn. How can I even give it up that easy? I liked him for years now. I'm sure he's aware.. or not.

Mahirap sabihin kung seryoso ba ang pagkakagusto sa isang tao, but the way I see it, I think I'm not even stuttering when I say that I like him.

I bought a tape recorder. This is the craziest thing I'd do for him. I recorded my voice as I said those words from my past letters that he didn't read. I realized that he maybe has a point. Baka hindi niya maintindihan ang sulat ko kaya hindi niya mabasa. Well, atleast, my voice and my pronunciations is clear.

".. And you said I only liked you because I was challenged, I don't see it that way. Well, Rashid— I meant, Ace. You don't want me to call your name then I'll use your second name." bumuntong hininga ako. "I quite like you for a long time.. I'm not wishing you to like me back but if you can— I mean! If you don't like me then I guess.. that's fine." medyo nanginig pa ang boses ko sa huli.

I was so happy for the results. Iyon talaga ang pinagkaabahalan ko sa buong weekend. Paulit ulit ko iyong pinapakinggan hanggang makatulog ako sa gabi. Kinabukasan ay kaagad ko iyong binalot. I put a little red ribbon on the side with a smiley sticker. Dang, this is so cheesy!

"Ta-da!" I laughed and showed Shae the thing. It's still covered but she knows what this is.

Bumilog ang bibig niya. "I can't believe you were serious! God, Gianna, ano bang pumapasok sa isip mo?"

"Siya." I giggled. "What? Don't you think its thoughtful? No one ever did this to him! Ako pa lang! I'm the one he will remember if someone did this again to him!"

Sinapo niya ang noo niya at umiling iling. "You know what, you're really pretty, Gianna. Why are you wasting your efforts to someone who doesn't even value it?"

Ngumuso ako at napawi na ang ngiti na kanina ko pa dala dala. I put down the tape recorder on my legs.

"Because I like him?" I shrugged.

She sighed, "Whatever. Nakakapagod paulit ulit sabihin na wala ka namang napapala kundi rejection lang d'yan. Do what you want. I'll support you anyway.." she rolled her eyes dramatically.

I know she will. Kung mayroon mang isang taong nariyan sa oras ng kagagahan ko, syempre si Shae iyon. She witnessed how crazy I was almost all my life. She understands me well and so I am.

I don't have any close friends other than Shae and my cousins. Ang mga pinsan ko'y kasabay kong lumaki kaya syempre, talagang magiging malapit kami sa isa't isa.  One of my cousins was Issa. She's older than me but the most important is, kabatch niya sila Rashid!

"Gianna? Anong ginagawa mo rito?" tanong niya nang mapadpad ako mag-isa sa building nila.

I accidentally knew that in this building is Rashid's schedule. Hindi naman ako ganoon ka-creepy para alamin iyon, I just knew it accidentally and its my first time to come here.

I smiled. "Taking a visit. Noong sabado kasi wala ka sa inyo? Aayain sana kita sa mall noong nakaraan." dahilan ko.

"Oh, I had a date with Johnny last time. Kaka-shop lang natin, ah?"

"That was a long time. I need new stuffs.." I explained, which was true.

Also, I have to take a visit for my facial treatment. Hindi ko nagawa noong weekend dahil busy ako sa tape recording!

In the middle of my girl talk with Issa, Hunter walked across us. Nakasuot ang bag niyang lantang lanta sa isang balikat at  ngumunguya ng bubble gum na dumaan sa gilid. Sinundan ko siya ng tingin hanggang sa bumaba na siya.

I licked my lips and prepared my bag where my boxed tape recorder is.

Ngumiti ako kay Issa. "Oh, uhm, I think I need to drop off the library right now. May gagawin akong assignment!"

"Library? Ikaw?" natigilan siya ng kaunti.

Tumango ako. "Yeah! Uhm, so.. kita na lang tayo sa sabado? Pupunta ako sa inyo!"

Kumamot siya sa batok at naguguluhan akong tinignan. "Okay."

I turned my back and immediately made my way to Hunter. Matangkad ang lalaking ito at sa likod pa lang, halata mo nang lilingunin talaga ng mga babae kapag dumadaan. His style of clothing is attractive too even if he doesn't try it.

"Hunter!" I called like we were friends or something.

He looked up at me while I was running down the empty stairs just to chase him. His eyebrow lit up just as how his sides of his lips did.

"Nice to see you again, Miss.." he smirked at me and stopped.

I realized that I never introduced myself to him. So I extended my hands and put a little smile on my lips.

"I'm Gianna." I said. "Busy ka ba ngayon?"

Humilig siya sa railings at tinitigan ako. "A while ago, yes but now that you asked.. pwedeng hindi na."

I curled my forehead. He doesn't scream playboy vibes a lot unlike his other friends but maybe his cold eyes and expression is only hiding that playboy vibe inside him.

Umikot ang mata ko. "I'm here to ask you a favor and if you're busy, I can ask you some other time. Ano? Busy ka ba?"

Ngumuso si Hunter at pinaglaruan ang baba niya ng saglit. "Don't tell me, this is about love fucking life again?"

"I just want to give something to Rashid—"

"So I guess it is?" he tilted his head and shook it slowly. "Do I look like a bridge or something?"

"Apparently, he is your friend and I am your friend. You agreed to be my friend long time ago."

"I did?" turo niya sa sarili.

"Bakit? Ayaw mo?" matalim ko siyang tinignan.

"Well, if you can offer something more than friend—"

"Can you stop flirting me?" I said with my straight irritated tone. "I'm into your friend and not you, Hunter."

Humalakhak siya habang hawak ang tiyan. "Insulto ba 'yan? Damn! Hindi pa ako nababasted sa haba ng buhay ko!"

Iritado na ako at medyo nawawalan na ng pag-asa sa kaniya. I don't even know why I have to use him just to give my present to Rashid. Pwede namang ako kaso iniisip ko pa lang, parang gusto kong magtago.

I was in the middle of biding my walking out speech when Hunter stopped mocking by letting Rashid have his entrance behind me. Namilog ang mata ko at halos tumakbo na paalis nang nagkatinginan kami. I didn't move but my hand was firmly gripping the railings of stairs.

"What are you doing here?" Rashid's serious deep voice entered my soul and gave my body a long chills since he is now beside me.

"I'm talking to a friend," mapanuyang sabi ni Hunter. I thought he was asking me, mabuti at hindi ako nagsalita!

Rashid looked at me with a serious eyes. I smiled cutely at him, never minding Hunter's mockings.

"Hi," maliit na sabi ko at ngumuso.

"I don't think your friend is allowed here," he licked his lips and looked at Hunter. "Hindi niya ba alam na hindi pwede ang lower years dito?"

Seryoso?

I feel like I'm being roasted here. Add the humiliation of Hunter's mocking smile at me. Iyong tipong dinidikdik na nakakahiya ako at natutuwa siya doon.

I cleared my throat. "Well, I visited someone—"

"I don't care." iritado niya akong tinignan. "You're still not allowed. If you're here to flirt then the whole gymnasium is wide, doon ka pumunta."

Hunter laughed. "I think she's waiting for someone. Sino na nga itong hinihintay mo, Gianna?"

I glared at him. "Wala!"

Rashid tss-ed. "Go to your skinny boys instead. I think men here doesn't like kids."

My mouth was left hanging. With all my fancy Chopard jewelries that's hanging around my wrist and neck and my pink lipstick and highlighted cheekbones, he said I look like a kid!

Hunter shrugged at me as Rashid walked away, leaving me still gasping because of his scathing insults that almost got my soul injured. He pointed at Rashid's back and me, sabay iling na tila pinapamukhang hindi kami bagay kahit anong gawin ko.

I gritted my teeth. Ilang minuto akong nakatayo doon mula nang mawala sila. Padabog akong nagpapadyak at iritadong umalis doon.

Buong maghapon akong iritado dahil sa insulto niya sa akin. He said I'm a kid. A thing that I don't agree with. Sure, I may not be as matured as some girls on his batch and add

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