I spent hours in my room. Nakatulog ako sa sobrang pag-iisip. Nagising na lang ako ay madilim na at nagsisimula na naman ang ulan. I yawned and felt the rumbles on my stomach.

Madilim nang lumabas ako. I tried switching the lights on but it's not working. Black-out na naman. I didn't know there was a typhoon. I'm not watching any news.

I used my phone as flashlight as I went down. Napatalon ako sa gulat nang mailawan ko si Rashid sa kusina. He was at the backdoor, holding a cup of coffee and topless. He looked at me when he heard my footstep. Magulo ang buhok at tanging itim na maong pants lang ang suot.

"What are you doing here?" bulyaw ko. "Akala ko ba aalis ka na?"

He raised his eyebrow. "Why would I? This is my house."

"Are you forgetting something, Mr. Añonuevo? We agreed that I'll stay here. I'll pay you the exact amount whenever you want. Just tell me."

"I'll let you stay here and you'll pay, yes. But that doesn't mean I'll leave."

"Ano?!" suminghap ako. "Are you kidding me? Why would I want to stay here with you? Ang kapal ng mukha mo."

Umatras yata ang gutom ko dahil sa kaniya. Staying with him in one room, even in just a little bit of time, means nightmare.

"Take it or leave it." he shrugged and sipped on his coffee. "I'm already giving you a chance, Miss Avila. Hindi kita pipilitin kung ayaw mo."

"Fine. I'll buy a property in this village."

"Unfortunately, it's all taken." he scoffed.

"You're lying."

He licked his lips and tilted his head. "You think I'm lying just to make you stay here? Kulang ka yata sa tulog, Miss Avila."

"Why? Can't you do that? I doubt that this is the only house you got. You managed to build success for your companies and you're an attorney yourself, don't tell me you don't even have a house or a mansion?"

He pursed his lips, stopping it from smirking. Tinakpan niya ng kamao ang bibig at tumikhim. Kita ko ang panunuya sa mga mata niya na pilit sineseryoso.

"I wonder how you know all of that, Miss Avila. Not all people know me that much."

I stiffened.

Umiwas ako ng tingin. "Well.. of course we did a research. You can't just get me your company's ambassador without going under investigation."

"Pina-imbestigahan mo ako?"

"No!" I answered briefly. "Of course not! Not exactly like that. We just did a little research.."

"You deserve an oscar."

"I'm telling the truth! I'm not a creep like you. Hindi kita sinusundan!"

"I didn't follow you around. I told you, I'm doing work." he clenched his jaw. "Do you seriously think I'd go crazy over you after those years?"

Natahimik ako. I didn't expect he'd bring up a past in the middle of our fight. Sumiklab ang kidlat kasabay ng paglakas ng ulan. An invisible lightning was almost seen in between of our glares, too.

I swallowed hard. "Bakit hindi ba? Ang dami daming modelo sa mundo, bakit ako pa ang kinuha mo? For what? For me to witness how great were you doing after hurting me before?"

Kinain ng hakbang niya ang pagitan naming dalawa. Napahawak ako sa upuan. The darkness is creeping around us but we can both see each other at least just a little bit.

"Then, you should've declined. You did a research, you said. Alam mo na ako ang nag-aalok, bakit tinanggap mo pa?"

I pushed him with anger. "Why are you blaming it on me now? All I did was pure business. Habang ikaw, gusto mo lang ipamukha sa akin kung gaano ka kataas. Am I right? That's your point!"

"That's not my point," matigas na sabi niya.

I smirked. "Or you're guilty. Alin doon, Añonuevo? But anyhow, your guilt will never tame me. Let's just treat each other professionally because I think that would be better. And about my stay here, papayag ako.." umiwas ako ng tingin. "Let's just not see each other often."

I left him alone. I made my way up to my hide-out. Malakas kong sinarado ang pinto at dahan dahang nilapitan ang kama ko.

Napaupo ako. I stared at the window blankly. Malakas ang ulan kasabay ng kidlat at kulog. Its also cold. I hugged myself as pain.

I can't help but to admit, the wealth and my name is just all in the surface, hiding my real self inside. It will not change the fact that I'm still weak inside. I try to be strong and intimidating to prove people that I'm not the same as before. But the more I try, the more I know that I'm not.

I spent my seven years abroad to heal. I was there, broken and down. I mended myself and stood up with my own feet. I created a name and a world for me. I knew I would still be crawling down to my pasts and fix it. I just never knew it would be this hard.

Malakas na ang kalam ng sikmura ko dahil sa gutom pagkagising. Sumilip ako sa pintuan para siguraduhin na wala si Rashid. Tumila na ang ulan at malakas na ang sinag ng araw.

Napatalon ako sa pagtunog ng cellphone ko. I immediately accepted it when I saw that it was Cassandra.

"Cass!" I went out of my room. Nag-iingat akong naglakad sa corridor hanggang pababa sa hagdan.

"Your car arrived? Sure ka sa address, ha?"

My eyes widened. "Right now?"

"Oo, nand'yan na ba?"

Tumakbo na ako kaagad sa baba. No one was everywhere so I assumed that Rashid is gone. But my heart stopped when I saw his naked back in my backyard. May kausap na lalaki at kita ko ang itim na Rolls Royce na nakaparada doon. Suminghap ako at binalikan ang tawag ni Cassandra.

"Cass, yes, it's here." nagtago ako sa pintuan. "Thank you! Send my regards to Issa, too."

"Sure, babe. Gotta go! It's your first day of work right?"

Shoot. I forgot!

"Yes.." hilaw akong tumawa. "I'll meet you guys soon. I need to hang up!"

"Okay. Good luck! Love you!"

"Love you." lumabas ako sa bahay.

Lumingon si Rashid sa akin paglabas ko. Pinatay ko ang tawag. Sinundan niya ang cellphone ko at kita ko ang kaunting pagtaas ng kilay.

I smiled at the man. "Thank you, Kuya!"

Maybe Issa's worker or driver. I got excited when I saw my shining black Rolls Royce. God, I still can't believe I'm getting paid a bunch now.

"Here's your keys." Rashid gave me the keys. Nagkatinginan kami.

Hindi ko gusto ang pagpasada niya ng tingin sa suot ko. Matalim ko siyang tinignan nang maalala ang sagutan namin kagabi. His hair is a bit wet and he smells like fresh shaving gel. Hindi ko gusto.

"Pwedeng pa-picture po, Ma'am? Idol na idol ka po ng anak ko." nahihiyang tumingin sa akin ang may katandaan nang employee.

I giggled. "But I just woke up, Kuya. Ayos lang ba?"

"You should change." Rashid cleared his throat and stared at me.

Walang pumansin sa kaniya.

"Ayos lang, Ma'am! Maganda pa din naman po kahit ano.."

We took a two shots of selfie. Nasa gilid si Rashid at nakamasid sa aming dalawa. Hindi ko siya pinansin. Nang matapos ay nakipagbatian muna ako. I even offered him to eat with me and drive him back to his workplace but he declined. Sa huli ay kumakaway na lang ako sa kaniya habang paalis.

"Are you even wearing a bra?"

I stopped and looked at him. "No."

Dumilim ang tingin niya. "And you're wearing a tight sando?"

"Sando?" naoffend ako. "This is a spaghetti strap, how dare you?"

"Do you know what just had taken by the camera?"

I tilted my head and raised my eyebrow. "Ang laki ng problema mo, Mr. Añonuevo. Does my boobs offend you? Oh right, you're an attorney. Bakit? Anong karumal dumal na krimen ang ginawa ko, ha? Did I break a law? What?"

"My point is, people might use your photo against you."

"Stop your concerns. I want to wear anything I want and I've took pictures naked, Rashid. Gosh." umirap ako.

He took a sigh and clenched his jaw. "Suit yourself, Miss Avila."

I left him outside. Hindi ko alam kung bakit naiinis ako. I get his point. He's concerned about people's comments. Social media is scary these days, people is very easy to judge and not scared to spit out foul words. I've been through a lot when it comes to judgement of people. I'm not used to it but I can manage.

He wasn't there when I went out. Wala na din ang sasakyan niya sa hindi kalayuan. I shrugged it out.

I'm wearing a white slacks, black racerback under my white Chanel coat, and a black ankle strap stilletos. I spent most of my time tieing my hair in a high ponytail. My make up is simple but I added fire with a red hot lipstick. It matched my red Hermes bag, that's why.

Dad actually sent me a secretary. I thought he wouldn't take my words seriously but that's fine.

"Good morning, Ma'am." namamanghang tumitig sa akin ang lalaking medyo may kabataan sa akin. "I'm Sanjo, your assigned secretary."

I smiled and looked around the building. Fontana-Avila Architectural and Development Firm, FAAD. I gritted my teeth. Ilang beses na akong nakapunta dito. Back when I was young, I used to wander around my parents' office. When I got older, kaunti na lang dahil busy na kami parehas.

Ngumuso ako. "Where's Dad?"

"Ah.." kumamot siya sa batok at nahihiyang tumingin sa akin. "May meeting po kasi sila."

"Oh? So late ako?" I faked my surprise.

"Po? Hindi po sinabi ni Sir kung kasali kayo—"

"Of course, kasali ako!" I laughed sarcastically. "I should be there with the members of the boards. What floor is it?"

Bakas ang pag-aalinlabgan sa mukha ni Sanjo sa sinabi ko. He was too nervous but he still told me where it was. Nakasunod siya sa akin bawat yapak ko hanggang sa elevator.

Inipon ko ang tapang ko habang taas ang noo at nakatingin sa daanan. I should admit that I'm nervous. Humigpit ang kapit ko sa handbag ko. I knew this day would come, that I would be taking care of what I've left. And the company is one of them. I took away my dreams for this before, now I'm actually persuing it.

Matapang kong binuksan ang pintuan ng conference room. Sanjo didn't lie when he said that he was on a meeting.

But the thing is.. nakita ko pa lang ang mukha ni Rashid na nakaupo katabi ang babaeng minsan ko nang isinumpa, nawindang ang mundo ko.

They stopped when I got it. Natigilan din ako. There's a lot of people inside. Including Rashid, Elizabeth, my father.. a familiar woman beside her and the rest are unknowns.

"Miss Avila!" someone called my presence.

"Good morning, Sir. Na-late lang po si Miss Avila sa meeting.." si Sanjo sabay yuko ng kaunti.

He pulled a chair for me. Hindi ako nakagalaw noong una pero dahan dahan akong lumapit doon. I can feel my wobbly legs just now. Nagkatinginan kami ni Rashid, kita ko ang titig niya sa akin at nilipat iyon kaagad sa katabi niya.

My eyes flamed soon as I saw Elizabeth's sarcastic stare at me. My dad was in front, also acknowledging my presence. Lumipat ang tingin ko sa babaeng katabi ni Elizabeth. Years younger than my father. I think she's in her 40's now. Her eyes was directly looking at me, malamig at halos sarkastiko din. She smiled at me but it didn't pull me to smile at her too.

"Mr. Avila, you didn't tell us that your daughters will be joining our meeting today. That's a good coincidence, we're just talking about nominating for the Vice President of the company." a older man said and looked at me with a smile.

Somehow I familiarize some men inside the room. Naalala kong ka-sosyo nga ito ng mga magulang ko dati. I don't remember their names, though.

Hindi ako ngumiti. Wala akong lakas na ngumiti. Why is Rashid here? Isn't he working in his own business? He's sitting beside Elizabeth. How sweet.

"I think there's no need for that." I spoke. "Since I'm here, the supposed heiress of this company, I'll take my spot."

Nagkatinginan kami ni Dad.

He cleared his throat. "She's right. My daughter maybe gone for years but she's still trained to be part of our company."

Elizabeth crossed her arm. "Hindi ba 'yon nakakabahala, Dad?"

Dad? Umahon ako sa upo. Am I hearing this right?

"She's gone for years. Who knows if she doesn't know anything about the company? And the fact that she's taking the place of Vice President, that's really disturbing."

Rashid clenched his jaw and loosened his necktie. Kumuyom ang palad ko sa hita ko. This bitch. Who is she to play a role here, anyway? If I was evil enough, I should've taken this position before to fire her.

"I studied for this and it's necessary for me as the daughter of the owner of the company to train and learn things about it. Don't worry, do I need to pass my biodata to you?"

Kumunot ang noo ni Elizabeth at hindi nagsalita. I crossed my arms on my chest and smiled at her. My secretary looked uneasy because of how I spoke but I didn't mind him.

"My daughter's point is that she doesn't have any experience in this job. How can we know if she's deserving?" the woman beside Elizabeth said.

Nanlamig ako sa kinauupuan ko. Para akong binuhusan ng tubig ng marinig iyon. Mag ina nga sila..

Nilingon ko si Daddy na may pagtataka ang mata. Maging siya ay hindi mapakali sa mga sagutan namin. Bumilis ang hininga ko at bumalik ang tingin sa babae. I can't believe this! This is his mistress? Hindi pa talaga nakuntento at pati ang mag-ina ay pinagtrabaho sa kumpanya ng ina ko! The audacity!

"Well, she's not Flora Fontana's daughter for nothing." hilaw na tumawa ang isang matanda. "Should we continue the votings, then?"

"To be fair, chairman, I think we need to. Since everyone is here.."

Lumipat ang tingin ko kay Daddy. There is a nomination. Who the hell is the nominees inside this room? Matalim kong tinignan si Elizabeth.

Tumango si Dad at tinignan ako. "Is that okay, Gianna?"

Elizabeth glared at me. I kept my professionalism and smiled at my father. Kahit hindi ko gusto ang mga nangyayari. If I wouldn't get this place, I'd still be a shareholder in this company. But still, I want this place. Not just for me but also for my mother.

"Raise your hands if you're in favor for Miss Gianna Avila to take the place," Dad declared.

Sumandal ako at pinanood ang pagtaas ng kamay ng kalahati sa silid. Ngumisi ako ng kaunti. My eyes went on Rashid who's not moving on the side. I don't know why it stabs my heart realizing that thought.

Maybe he thinks of me the way Elizabeth and her mom thinks. Sabagay, bakit pa ako magugulat? He always thinks I'm weak. Oh, you shouldn't, Rashid. You don't know me well.

"Thank you." tumikhim si Dad. "Now, raise your hands if you're in favor for Mr. Añonuevo to take the place."

Nanlaki ang mata ko.

What?

I watched how Elizabeth, her mom and the rest of the people inside raised their hands. Nagunaw ang mundo ko. I knew I lost it when I already heard his name.

The same people who broke me, they won over me again.

I feel useless. Bakit pakiramdam ko kahit anong tapang ko.. hinding hindi ko kayang ibangon ang sarili ko? Dahil ba mag-isa na lang talaga ako?