"So, what's your story?"

A camera is pointing straight at me. Lights were everywhere and it was all pointing a me. The host was smiling, waiting for me to talk. Itinaas ko ang itim na mikropono at itinapat sa bibig ko.

I smiled. "I lived in the Philippines just until I was 21. Just as some people, I was young when I started living independently. It was hard yet with faith in myself, I passed through it. I persuaded a dream to help me for my living but I realized that it's something more than that. I managed to achieve a dream I never knew I wanted in my whole life."

My manager silently raised a thumbs up. I smirked and was proud for myself. I've been doing lots of interviews in the past years, nasanay na din akong h'wag kabahan sa mga tanong nila. And this was handled by Reign, she probably took out the questions I hate.

The male host smiled for the next question. "This was most of the questions from your fans. It says, have you ever experienced a heartbreak?"

Kumunot ang noo at hilaw na tumawa. Sinulayapan ko si Reign. She winked at me and gestured for me to answer that. Why would she let this question pass? The heck.

"Yes, of course.." bumuntong hininga ako. "My cat died last week. It was heartbreaking."

Liar. I don't have a cat.

The host laughed together with the staffs. "I mean.. from actual person? Maybe, love?"

"My mother's death." diretsong sabi ko at malamig na tumingin sa host.

Iba ang inaasahan niyang sagot, alam ko at ayaw kong sagutin iyon.

"Oh, I'm sorry." tikhim niya. "Do you want us to cut that out?"

"No, its okay."

6 years had passed, I achieved a goal that I am so proud of. I'm a professional model.

Seeing cameras in front of me was somehow bringing me joy. I like what I do. I never knew I wanted this, to be honest. But as soon as I stepped in the field of modeling, I felt confident about everything I experienced in my past.

After the incident, my aunts moved me in States for me to recover from everything. Almost a year inside the hospital was hard. Aminin ko man o hindi, everyone knew I was in the middle of misery.

My mother died. Iyon pa lang, hindi ko na kaya. That was the worst nightmare that would happen to me. Oh, how I wish it would stay as nightmare. Si Mommy ang tanging sasandalan ko sa mga araw na 'yon. I couldn't attend her wake because I was immediately flew to States and I was in the middle of coma. I couldn't still face her even in the cemetery because I know I still can't.

I had a serious anxiety and depression. I was under therapy in the middle of my treatment. Halos ilang buwan akong dinadalaw ng ilang mga doctor. I couldn't open up anything at first, I was numb. I couldn't talk to anyone and at night, anxiety would kill me and I would cry and scream all night.

It was hard for me to talk to people. I had a trauma in giving my trust to most of people. I only have my cousin, Cassandra and Reign who is my manager for years now.

"Are you sure? You don't want to take the Arson Magazine?" Reign voiced on my phone while I was driving to my usual gym today.

"They rejected me before."

"Oh, sila 'yon?" humalakhak siya. "Look who's being pathetic now! Ilang taon na silang nagrerequest na kunin ka para sa cover shoot. I also don't think they deserve your face on their magazine, anyway. They play too dirty."

I smirked and agreed to her.

I can't actually drive alone. Pinagbibigyan lang ako minsan ni Reign dahil wala nang nagagawa. She's in Atlanta to meet a company because I agreed to be their ambassador. Sobrang tuwa ni Reign doon dahil madalas lang akong pumayag sa mga ganoon. Well.. I found the contract light and of course.. money.

I wore my black mask as I went out. Paparazzi's out everywhere. I sighed and continued to walk out from my blue Bugatti car. I don't have any bodyguard around, that's fine for today. Isa pa, the gym is pretty secured since I know some celebrities who usually do their workouts here, too.

"Is it true that you and Hero are dating?"

"You're the highest paid model for 3 consecutive years. Is that why Melina is triggered with all your Forbes Magazine shoots?"

"What can you say that you'd walk for the Van Doren Runway Fashion Show with Melina Abbot?"

I didn't talk. Mabilis akong naglakad papasok doon. The security immediately went to me to stop all of the annoying paparazzi outside. Tipid akong ngumiti sa kanila at tuluyang pumasok.

Umirap ako. First of all, I'm not dating Hero. I exactly know where the rumor started. I was part of his music video and in a scene we needed to kiss so I agreed. It was nothing to me, actually. I just don't know why people are making a big deal out of nothing. Hero and I are good friends, I've been answering that for quite long. Nakakapagod na.

Melina is an Australian model. She's also from Elite, just like me. Basically, we have the same agency. Sabay kami, actually. She's.. pretty. Iyon lang, mainit talaga ang dugo sa akin. I don't mind it. A lot of models were intimidated and always thinks I'm superior. Sanay na ako doon.

"Gianna, you're here." bungad ni Hero nang makita ko siyang nagsisimula na sa warm up.

I smiled a bit. "Yeah. Congratulations for your Asia tour, anyway."

He shrugged. Bughaw ang mata at maputi. In Philippines, I always thinks I'm different from others. Here, I think I've always belong here. I love the atmosphere, some people and I like what I do.

"Thanks." kumibot ang labi niya. "Congrats, too. I heard you're going to be casted in a movie. You haven't responded?"

"Oh, that." tumawa ako. "It's not my thing. I don't think I'll agree to that."

He shrugged. "I'd decline too, then."

I gasped. "Huh?"

"Our character was related to each other. You know.. romance." ngumuso siya at kumamot sa batok. "I won't agree to that if it's not you."

"Hero, you shouldn't decline the offer just because of that. You can do acting while I don't. You should accept it."

"It's fine, Gianna. I also have things to focus on, anyway. Albums and such.." hilaw siyang tumawa.

Hero has always been friendly. I consider him as my friend. But I don't really like the idea of him hitting on me sometimes. I know how to read those moves. Baka magulat siya sa mga ex ko sa Pilipinas kapag nalaman niya. But he doesn't look like a jerk.. he's kind but I just don't see myself dating him.

We agreed to have dinner later. I have no agendas, anyway. Ayaw kong manatili sa penthouse ko dahil bukod sa mag-isa ako ay puro internet lang ang ginagawa ko, I don't like what I usually see on the social media. I might end up fighting with my bashers using a fake account and sue them right away.

Binaba ko ang itim na roba na suot ko. I stared at my naked body. I'm taller and gracefully thin. My brown wavy hair is now colored blonde and it's length is below my chest. My features got matured because of time. My eyes got even fiercer than ever. Taliwas ang talim ng mata sa lambot ng labi at iba pang parte ng mukha ko. I used to have scars on my face but it faded.

Many people think I've been under plastic surgery. Hinahayaan ko lang ang mga iniisip nila. Tutal, if they think I'm under a serious surgery, they assume that I'm that pretty. But its all natural, come on.

I'm wearing a Wrangler black jeans, a black tube top that is a bit covered by my vintage Versace coat. Shades lang ang sinuot ko at hinablot na ang handbag sa gilid. Its just a dinner, and I don't want to effort just to cover myself. If someone recognized me, then so be it.

"Cass," nagmamadali ako sa paglagay ng lipstick dahil napatagal ako sa pagbababad sa bathtub.

"I arrived. Sa penthouse mo ba ako tutuloy ngayon?"

I checked my messy penthouse. Four rooms, the other one is occupied by Reign while the others are full of mess.

"You can. Linisin mo na lang," I chuckled and combed my hair for final touch. "I'm eating dinner somewhere. How 'bout you?"

"Isama mo na ako. I'm getting hungry. I really hate noodles! Sawang sawa ako sa Japan, grabe."

"I'm with Hero. Kung ayos lang sayo.."

"Ay, naku, hindi na pala. Ayos na ako." I heard her sigh. "Be careful, Gian. You know the drill when it comes to fans. They might see you with him, that's another annoying rumor."

"I know. He got us a VIP room, don't worry."

She murmured something I didn't understand. "Okay, Gi. I'll just cook something in your penthouse. Ingat, ha!"

Hero picked a hotel's restaurant. I used another car that I barely use. It doesn't look flashy that's why I used it. Kapag nalaman ito ni Reign ay baka hindi 'yon pumayag. She wants bodyguards to be around me all the time.

He smiled when he saw me entering the room he got us. Nakalatag ang pagkain sa lamesa. It was all Italian foods.

"What are your plans this winter, Gianna?" he asked.

Sumimsim ako sa white wine at maingat itong nilapag. I just took three bites of steak yet I feel full now. Nakakahiya naman kung hindi ko tikman ang mga kinuha niya kaya inuunti unti ko ang mga 'yon.

"I need to work on something in my hometown."

"Philippines?" he sounded curious.

Tipid akong ngumiti at tumango. It took me years to finally have the courage to go home. I know I still can't but I have to. Home scares me now. I'm scared to go back and remember those things that always hunts me down.

I gritted my teeth as I remembered so much memories. It has always been chasing me. He's been chasing me for so long. Hindi ako nahihibang dahil totoo 'yon. How can I even forget when every place I go for three years, sumisilip pa din ang memorya ko sa kaniya. I've always see him from afar. And it kills me.

"How was it?" I asked when Reign called while I was in the restroom to retouch myself.

"It was fine. I had sealed the deal. However, nasa New York daw ang CEO. Pero ayos lang 'yon!"

I smiled on the mirror. "That's nice, Reign. Thanks."

I heard her deep sigh. "Sigurado kang itutuloy mo ito, Gi? It's a Philippines based company. Uuwi ka talaga?"

"Its not just about it. You know I have lots of work waiting for me." kumuyom ang palad ko. "I have family businesses to do. I won't just stay far away and let them rob everything I own. They had enough."

"So, you plan to stay there for good?"

Ngumuso ako. "I don't know.."

"That's on you, Gianna. Whatever your decision is, you'll always have me. Basta bayaran mo pa din ako." tumawa siya. "I'll head home. Cass is with you, right? Nasaan siya?"

Pasimple akong suminghap at nataranta sa tanong niya. "Yeah.. uhm, we're cooking. Ibababa ko na, Reign. I'll see you!"

It took me a while to go out. Minadali ko pa ang pagkain ko dahil baka tumawag di Reign kay Cassandra, I didn't tell her to keep it a secret. Hero was talkative while I was interested in all of his stories.

Bineso ko siya nang magpaalam akong umalis. "Thanks for the dinner, Hero. I just badly need to head out."

He chuckled and nodded. "No problem, Gian. Text me when you get home."

I wore back my shades and fixed my hair. Taas noo akong lumabas sa restaurant. Few people looked at my way, I didn't look at them. My boots made a noise as I stepped at the floor.

Malapit na ako sa exit nang kusang huminto ang paa ko sa nahagip. From the side of my eyes, I saw him. Nakasandal sa kahoy na upuan at isang kape ang nakalatag sa harapan niya kasama ang nakabukas na laptop. He sipped on his coffee neatly and placed it down afterwards.

"Shit." I murmured.

His formal coat and tie made him look like a preponderant having a serious agenda with his laptop. His hair was fixed yet its not in clean cut just like what he had before. He clenched his jaw and about to look at my way but I immediately left.

Binomba ng maliksing kaba ang dibdib ko. My hands are cold and not even because of the weather.

Hindi ba siya napapagod? I don't think its coincidence anymore. Grabe naman kung nagkataon lang ang mga iyon. It's been three years since I started catching him around me all the time. The first time was in Italy, I was doing a shoot when I saw him there. I couldn't sleep properly after that time! Kahit pa isipin kong nagkataon lang na naroon siya ay kada lilipat ako ng bansa ay nakikita ko siya doon.

He's a fucking stalker, worst than my paparazzis!

"What happened?" Cassandra asked when I went back. Tulala akong naupo sa sala at hindi nagsasalita.

Umiling ako. "Can you get me some beer? I don't think I can sleep properly tonight."

She curiously sat beside me. Hindi ako nagsalita.

"Ayos ka lang ba?"

Ngumisi ako. I remember asking myself that question so many times before. Hindi ko masagot. Only my cries would answer it. And I knew I wasn't.

Tumango ako. "Yeah.."

She sighed deeply and tapped my back. "I'm still worried about you, Gianna. Lalo na ngayon na nagdedisyon kang bumalik sa Pilipinas. Reign and I always think you're not yet ready to go back."

"I've always been preparing to go home, Cass. And also, there's a lot of opportunities for work there." I said.

"'Yan ba talaga, Gi? What if you meet those people who hurt you before?"

I met him.

Hindi ko alam kung paano ako nakatakas sa mga tanong ni Cassandra pero matagumpay akong nakapasok sa kwarto ko.

I shouldn't be scared of possibilities. Hindi ko 'yon matatakasan. I'm not scared of those people and the hurt they gave me, they must've stayed for too long but I'm fine now. Because if there's no scars, there's no me right now. I've learned a lot.

Ace of beauty. My back tattoo says.

This is the deepest scar I had. The scar that I couldn't erase no matter how hard I tried. Anger fills me everytime I feel it. It scares me.. how I was before. Doon ako natatakot. Hindi sa kanila. Hindi sa sakit na dinanas ko. Kundi sa dating ako.