19 | h e a r t s t r i n g s

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The first thing that happened when I got back to the Carter/Ross residence was something I didn't expect. Lilli had dropped me off and I had walked in the front door, my mood in between brooding and repine. But what I wasn't ready for, was Ace to be behind the door when I opened it.

He jumped out in front of me and yelled, "boo!" as loud as he possibly could, scaring not only me but Noah, who was in the living room. We both yelped at the top of our lungs, the sound shrill.

"Ace James Carter, don't do that!" I hit his arm repeatedly. It did no harm to him, seeing as his arm was as hard as a solid piece of concrete.

He chuckled and snatched the backpack off my shoulder, swinging it over his own. "You know, the longer you stay in this house, the more I notice you act like my mother."

I start to walk up the stairs. "I don't know what you've heard Ace, but boys with oedipus complexes aren't cute."

"What's an eddipus complex?" I hear Noah yell from the other room.

Ace followed me up the stairs. "Nothing!" We both answered.

We ended up in the guest bedroom, where I was currently sleeping and Ace set my backpack on the bed. "So, how was your history test?" I plopped down onto my back.

"How did you know I had a history test?" He questioned.

I rolled my eyes. "You told me a few days ago you were stressed for the test on Monday."

"Oh right, you actually pay attention to what I say," he nodded, sitting on the bed beside me, pushing my bag out of his way.

I glanced over at him quickly, "as opposed to who?"

"Ryder."

"Ryder listens to you, quit being a baby," I teased him as I leaned back against the pillows propped up against the headboard.

Ace did the same and then picked up my hand, running his thumb over my knuckles. "Not to sound cliche, but guys don't really hash things out like girls. Ryder and I don't talk about our feelings like that, whenever we do, it's awkward."

"Well personally, I like listening to you talk about what's bothering you," I pause. "It makes me feel useful and trustworthy."

Ace let go of my hand and moved his fingers to the front of my hair. His fingers wove through the shorter strands in the front, curling them around. "So you want to know what's been bothering me?"

"Yeah," I told him half-heartedly, watching him play with my hair.

Suddenly, were both lying on our sides, next to each other, propped up on our elbows. "Us."

How could I have forgotten?

"Us?" I repeated, hoping I had heard him wrong. But he confirmed it by nodding. "What about us?" I decided to play the innocent card.

Ace wasn't having it. "About today at lunch. Why do you avoid talking about us?"

"Is there even an us?" I asked him and he stopped playing with my hair.

"Since when was there not an us?" The amount of times we had used the word "us" was making my head hurt. And when I don't answer, he continued. "Mel, don't act dumb with me. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I just don't understand you sometimes."

You and me both.

"I'm not too good with expressing myself," I admitted.

He nods, still looking at me. "How many more times do I have to tell you that that's okay before you actually understand it?"

I smiled sadly. "How long are you willing to wait to find out?"

"As long as I need to." He confessed it so easily. It was almost as if the thought of spending time with me for a long time wasn't so scary to him.

I took a deep breath and he waited, now knowing how hard it was for me to let him know what I wanted. "I've never been in a relationship, you know this already. I don't know what it means to be in love," I paused after seeing the scared look on Ace's face after the mention of love.

I didn't want to say anything else after seeing the look on his face. So I turn my head to the opposite side of the room and stare at the wall. I hadn't even noticed I had crossed my arms over my chest.

"Hey, why'd you stop?" He asked me, gently pulling my arms away from my body.

I rolled my eyes but Ace couldn't see my face so I turned toward him and gave him a look which made him back off. "Nevermind, I don't really want to talk about it."

"What did I do?" His eyebrows were scrunched close together.

Oh, I don't know. Maybe look at me like I'm insane for saying the word love?

"I'm finally telling you how I'm feeling and as soon as I mention love, you look completely freaked out! I wasn't going to say I was in love with you, gosh," I let out without thinking.

Ace sighs and sits up, pulling me up with him. "I'm sorry, I didn't even realize I was doing anything. You can keep talking; I swear I won't make any offensive faces."

"I'm not sure if I want to Ace," I whisper, slightly heartbroken that he was so revolted by the thought of me being in love with him. Which, I wasn't

He shook his head. "You are the most stubborn girl i've ever encountered."

"Is that good or bad?"

Ace stood from the bed and walked to the door. "I'm not joking with you Melrose."

Oh no, the full first name.

"I never-" I began.

Ace interrupted me. "I don't think you understand me when I tell you I want there to be an us. Mel, I like you and you like me. I know you have a rough time explaining your feelings to me, to everyone but for once, I don't want you to laugh my feelings off. My feelings matter too."

I stared at him, unblinking. His outburst caused a little snap against my heartstrings and I couldn't look away from him. Ace was breathing heavily, as if he couldn't catch his breath and I had a feeling I looked the same.

"So make up your mind Melrose. You either like me or you don't. You want there to be an us or you don't. Do you want to be my friend? Because I sure as hell don't want to be yours but if that's what you want, I'll do it. I'll do it because I want you to be comfortable and happy. I'd sacrifice my own wants for you to be happy Mel, don't you get that?" Ace finishes before storming off down the hall, slamming my bedroom door shut in the process.

It was a while later before I could bring myself to walking down the hallway to Ace's room. I had already finished my homework for the night and had showered, leaving my hair in a wet, detangled mess around my face.

I knocked on his door lightly, hoping he might be asleep so I wouldn't have to do this. But the door opened a few seconds later, revealing a disgruntled looking Ace. "Hi," I said to him, a frown on my face.

Ace's hair was a complete mess; his slightly curly brown hair strewed in every which way, making him look kind of like a mushroom. But a very cute mushroom. He had changed into blue flannel pajama pants and a white tee shirt. The shirt was tight enough to see the outline of his hard muscles.

I almost completely forgot why I had come to his room in the first place.

Right! Ace was angry with me.

He didn't tell me hi back; but he let me into his room by stepping aside. I walked in and told myself not to sit on his bed but did anyway. "You know, I hate when you're angry with me."

"I'm not."

"I also don't like when you lie to me," I volley back.

Ace sighed and then it turned into a groan. "Why are you here?"

"I kind of live here as of right now," I joke but then stop smiling after remembering what he said about me laughing about his feelings. "You never let me say anything after your little outburst."

He let out a harsh laugh. "Little outburst huh? Well, I was just trying to tell you how I felt but I see that it wasn't seen as such."

I shook my head. "I'm not making fun of you Ace-"

"Do you even care about other people's feelings Mel? Because it doesn't really seem like you do," He chuckled angrily.

This was so not how I saw this conversation going. "Just let me talk-"

"Oh so she finally speaks?" Ace said, mean spirited.

"Stop, why are you acting like this?" I asked him, not liking his douchebag behavior. He rolled his eyes and I stood up, no longer comfortable sitting on his bed. And suddenly, I wanted to be mean too. "I just wanted to tell you I just want to be your friend Ace, nothing else."

Fuck, that's not what I wanted to say.

But Ace had already absorbed my answer. I could see the short spark of sadness in his eyes before they flashed in anger. "Great! Goodnight," he all but shoved me out of his room.

"Ace-"

But he had already slammed the door in my face.

I wasn't sure how the next day would go. I had definitely made things awkward with Ace but he had acted completely normal. But his normal was weird for me.

He didn't joke with me as much as normal and when he did, it was forced and it was difficult for me to even grant him a genuine smile. I knew he said no matter what my decision was, he just wanted me happy.

But so far, neither of us seemed happy. And I sort of wished he would call me on it because I so wanted to take it back. I didn't want to be Ace's friend. I wanted to be so much more.

But a few days passed and soon it was Friday. We had spent the whole week dancing around each other and I was sick of it. We had driven to school in complete silence, except for the radio.

He still sat in front of me in first period but he didn't bother turning around to talk to me anymore. Lilli had given me weird looks up until Wednesday, when I told her what went down. She had been a good friend and took me out for ice cream, thinking it's make me feel better.

But ice cream had easily become a thing Ace and I did together. And just that reminder that Ace wasn't here, made me so incredibly sad.

I was sure by now, it looked as if we had "broken up" to the school. We didn't talk to each other, Ace didn't walk me to class and we didn't eat lunch together. But he was still giving me rides back to his house and to school.

I made a mental note to have him take me back to Charlie's apartment to get my car so it wasn't a hassle for him anymore to take me places when he clearly didn't want to.

I had already made plans to spend some time with Lilli since she was clearly my only friend, once again. When I had told him I didn't need a ride, he didn't look happy or sad. His face had been void of emotion.

Lilli and I went to the movies and saw a book to movie adaptation. But the book had been better, obviously. But it had helped me take my mind off the whole Ace situation and let me relax.

But once the movie was over, I went right back to being sad. The whole thing had been my fault, of course. If I had just been more clear with my emotions, we wouldn't have fought and I wouldn't have gotten scared to tell him I wanted him too.

Lilli spent nearly an hour convincing me just to walk right up to him and kiss him until neither of us could breathe properly. But I wasn't bold enough to do so. So I settled for me at least trying to talk to him again and hoping it'd turn out better than the last conversation we'd had.

So after getting out of Lilli's car, I ran upstairs and put my things down and quietly walked to Ace's door, unsure if I was even ready to do this. Because after this, Ace and I would never be the same.

I knocked quietly but no one heard me. I figured Ace was asleep so I turned around and started to walk away. But then realized it was a cowerdish of me to walk away from him so easily so I flipped back around.

Screw knocking.

And then I opened his door, ready to be met with his angry face and ready to reveal everything I was feeling to him. Because I wanted it, I wanted him. And I would do what I could to convince him to give me another chance.

But instead of seeing Ace's indifferent face staring back at me, I saw Sophie Roman, underneath him; both without a shirt on.

Oof I really did that. I apologize but never less, a little drama never hurt nobody. (Except for me Bc I want my babies to be happy)

This chapter had over 2,200 words in it! I've been planning out this chapter for a while but I didn't know how to execute it.

Also, sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've had so much going on with school lately. I just took 1 of 2 AP tests yesterday and I'm dead.

See you next chapter!

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