s i x t e e n - you did the right thing

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she's got me with nothing to win
and nothing left to l o s e . . .

🌊🌊🌊

"Why haven't I seen you in ten years?" Jodie's boisterous voice came through the other end of my phone at too loud of a volume.

I rolled my eyes at her exaggeration, shaking my head after. "It has not been ten years. More like two weeks," I corrected her.

"Well it feels like it's been a lot longer than that," she brushed off her dramatics. "That being said, all of your friends are at Mack's right now with an empty spot at their booth. You know, us? The people you used to hang out with all the time before you met the love of your life?"

"Shut up. He's not the love of my life," I muttered in embarrassment, feeling my cheeks redden instantly.

"Just get here!"

"Alright, can you give me a minute? I just got done work at the diner, I'm exhausted. And I'm starving," I said, putting a hand on my forehead as I leaned against my car.

I debated on putting my phone up to my growling stomach for Jodie to hear, but she fired off another question before I could actually do it. "Do you have work at the pier too?"

"No, I'm done for the day," I breathed in relief at the fact that I didn't have to deal with my ticket booth today.

"Then this is perfect! I'll order you something in the meantime and get here when you can," she explained, her voice becoming a little hard to hear with all the commotion in the background.

"You are the best," I smiled gratefully. We were only on the phone for another minute or two, then I unlocked my car and started my drive toward Mack's.

With my thoughts only on the food I was about to shovel down my throat in a matter of minutes, I parked on the street a couple blocks away from the boardwalk. Just as I turned my keys and my car shut off, I froze. It was then that I realized I wasn't meeting Jodie. I was meeting everyone. Including a certain twin who I haven't spoken to in almost a month.

In all honesty, the past month flew by. If I didn't stop to think about the dates, I wouldn't have even known I'd gone that long without Noah in my life. But now that I was about to face the one thing I'd been avoiding for as long as possible, it all became too real.

I went back and forth for a few minutes, alone in the silence of my car, thinking of what I could say to him. Part of me really didn't want to see him because if he gives me the cold shoulder and completely ignores me, I'll know that that's it. There will be nothing that I could do to bring Noah and I back together – the way we were before all of this happened. Being with him and being ignored would be worse than never seeing him again.

My heart lodged itself in my windpipe, making it a struggle to breath properly on my walk to the restaurant. Even though I'm absolutely terrified of confronting him, I know I have to do it. He was – and still is – my best friend, and I don't want to lose him.

I spotted my friends right away when I walked through the door of Mack's, Jodie's chaotic blonde waves being the first thing I noticed. Her and Sadie were facing me on their bench, while the twins were sitting opposite of them with their backs to me. The second I recognized which dark head of hair was whose, I felt my entire body stiffen.

Jodie grinned to me and waved me over, patting the spot next to her. So I sucked it up and slapped on a smile, stiffly walked to their table, and plopped down.

"Hey guys," I briefly shot everyone a look – even Noah, who looked totally surprised to see me. But I didn't miss how the corners of his lips quirked up in the slightest.

"How was work?" Jodie piped up to start a conversation.

I shrugged my shoulders, folding my hands on my lap. "Well, I didn't spill anything, and none of the customers tried to argue with me, so overall it was a pretty good day," I said truthfully, which made everyone laugh because they know how clumsy I am and how it's impossible for me to go a day without knocking something over. Even my favorite, brooding twin who still didn't utter a word my way let out a low, faint chuckle.

"How are you and Surfer Boy doing?" Sadie randomly asked with a sly grin.

I rolled my eyes jokingly at his old nickname we used before we figured out his real name, and nodded my head. "Things are good. He actually invited me to tag along with him at a surfing competition in Jersey next weekend. And I wanna go, but I have to persuade my parents first," I told them with a sigh.

"That sounds like so much fun," Jodie gushed, and for the first time in what seems like forever, she actually appeared to be interested in Brody. Not scowling at the mention of his name, or trying to give me some motherly advice. Maybe it's because Noah's in our presence, or maybe she's finally accepted the fact that Brody's not going anywhere. Either way, I'll take it.

"Yeah, I hope I can go. That'll be really cool," I felt my lips tug up into a small smile at the thought of Brody. I quickly dropped the look and figured that nobody wanted to hear me talk about him anymore, so I changed the subject. "What'd you order for me?"

As soon as I asked the question, a waitress came over to our table with a tray full of plates balancing on her shoulder. She served me last, placing my platter down in front of me. A Dr. Pepper with a classic Mack's burger special, hold the onions and tomato, fries on the side. Jodie knows me too well.

"I know you inside and out," she smirked, bumping my shoulder with hers. I popped a french fry into my mouth and gave her a wide, thankful smile in return.

While we ate our lunch and jumped into a different conversation, it felt like everything was back to normal. Minus one voice, whose mouth was attached to his burger, then his napkin, and sealed shut practically the whole time. Noah might have been just across the table from me, but it felt like he was light years away.

This thing wedged between us was killing me and I couldn't take it anymore. I made sure to wolf down my food, and sat impatiently as the rest of my friends finished their food at a regular speed. My money was in my hand, ready to leave for the waitress who seemed to be taking her sweet old time back in the kitchen.

Jodie noticed my leg bouncing anxiously and she waved the waitress over, handing her our money and insisting that we didn't need any change. Once she walked away, I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

The five of us slowly wandered down the boards with no destination in mind. The only goal that was on my mind was getting Noah back. I sent Jodie a pleading look which she understood instantly.

She spun around and looked at us all, clinging onto Sadie who looked more than confused. "Sadie and I are going to the bathroom," she announced. When the confused brunette went to speak up about how she didn't have to go, she got a pointy elbow jabbed into her rib cage from Jodie.

One deathly glance from Jodie and Caleb was on board. "I-I'm gonna go, too. Well, not in the same bathroom... but... okay," he trailed off, shaking his head as he led the way with Jodie dragging Sadie along.

I looked up at Noah with a tight-lipped smile, and he breathed a light laugh in return.

"I'm guessing they did that on purpose?" He ran his fingers through his hair a few times over and over.

"Yeah. I was hoping they would," I chuckled, glancing down at my feet. It took a moment for me to meet his eyes again, and when I did, my next question came out softly. "Can we talk?" And he nodded right away.

We headed towards an empty bench that was outside of the building where the bathrooms were located in, taking a seat next to each other. Not too close, but not too far away either.

I didn't say anything at first, and neither did he. All the garbled sounds of various voices surrounding us were all I could really focus on. There was so much on my mind that I didn't know where to begin. I started to doubt myself because I wasn't sure if I could truly fix this mess. An apology couldn't fix a broken heart, no matter how many times it was said.

At last, I opened my mouth to say something, anything. But shockingly enough, Noah beat me to it with a sudden blab.

"I'm sorry," he blurted, his eyes hooked on the boardwalk. All I wanted was for them to look at me.

"What?" I gaped at him.

He's sorry? And here I thought I'd be on my hands and knees doing all the apologizing, begging for him to let me back into his life.

He swallowed hard before he cast his gaze up at me. It may have been almost a month of not seeing him, but I could never forget the color of his eyes or the way they always seem to penetrate through me.

"Can you hear me out? I need to say something," he muttered, but our eyes were locked.

"Okay," I agreed. Frankly, I'd agree to anything at this point just to have him talk to me and look at me. It's been way too long since I heard that voice.

He released a shaky breath, one that made me want to wrap my arms around his neck and never let him go. I somehow resisted the urge and let him have his moment.

"I'm sorry for what I said to you that night, because I know it hurt you. I was angry, sorta drunk, and I didn't mean for it to happen like that. That's not how I wanted that talk to go down," he started off, his head hanging low as he rung his hands nervously. "This past month without you made me do a lot of thinking, and... I would rather have you happy with someone else, meaning Brody, than have you be miserable with me. At the end of the day, all I really care about is your happiness. So again, I'm sorry about everything," he was quick to come to an end and not look at me this time.

Seeing timid, insecure Noah spill his thoughts to me was something new. Of course we've always had the kind of relationship where we could tell each other anything. Well, anything other than how he felt about me, and vice versa. But this time, it felt like he matured like it'd been five years. It brought a gentle smile to my face.

"Thank you, that means a lot. I know I hurt you too and that's the last thing I ever wanted to do, but it was kind of inevitable. It was the only way that I could get this weight off my shoulder, you know? I just needed to make a decision and I finally did," I explained myself, hoping he understood where I was coming from. The secure nod he gave me told me that he did. "So I'm sorry too."

"I know. I wish I didn't react the way that I did, but in the heat of the moment, I couldn't stop myself. Not gonna lie, I was crushed," he chuckled lightly, but it wasn't bitter in the slightest. It was almost like he was laughing at how he behaved that night. I let out a soft laugh too, shaking my head as the memory replayed itself in my mind. "But you did the right thing. We probably would have jeopardized our friendship if anything happened between us, and I don't want to do that."

My small smirk from earlier grew into a much larger grin now. The overwhelming feeling of sealing the crack in our friendship drove me to wound my arms around his neck and yank him closer to me. "I missed you so much," I mumbled into his shoulder.

"I missed you too," he said with a smile in his voice, squeezing me in his grip. I rubbed my hands along his back soothingly, soaking in the moment because you don't know how much you need a hug from your best friend until you go so long without one.

We both released each other a minute later, with Noah resting a hand on my thigh and a curious smile on his face. "So he's good to you?" He raised an eyebrow, obviously talking about Brody, and I nodded thoroughly. He nodded too and leaned back against the bench, a content sigh leaving his lips. "Good. I'm glad you're happy."

"I know you guys don't really approve of him, but I do. He treats me well... and I love being with him," I sighed, the truth coming out whether I wanted it to or not. But with the air cleared between Noah and I, it was comfortable to talk about these kinds of things with him. Not like before where it felt awkward, and like I had to hide everything from him or else.

He didn't say anything to that, so I looked over to see him staring at me with some kind of look I couldn't interpret. "What?" I sputtered out through an embarrassed laugh.

"That smile on your face when you talk about him," he said, putting his arms on the back of the bench and shaking his head. The teasing smile still lingered, and my face flushed when I realized that I, in fact, was smiling at the mention of Brody.

"Stupid, huh?" I giggled.

"No, no. Not at all," he chuckled. "It's contagious. The way your face lights up it's... it's nothing I've really seen from you before," he glanced away from me to where our friends were spying on us and gave them a sideways smile. Then he turned to me again, a more serious, but still somewhat playful, look in his eyes. "I'm glad he makes you happy. But if he ever gives you any trouble, you know who to come to."

With another exchange of laughter and a big hug, we finished up our talk and caught up to the rest of our friends. I went to bed with a smile that night, knowing that everything was finally back to normal.

🌊🌊🌊

A/N - ayeeee he's back! thoughts on the reunion? it was kinda lowkey but still cute, i hope.Β 

so side note, i saw the maine aka my no. 1 favorite band of all time on tuesday night and i'm honestly not okay bc it was sO FucKINg GOoD liKE OmGJDFg. i'm gonna put the vlog up from the concert on my youtube channel later on today so be on the lookout for that if you wanna hear me sing really badly and rave about my faves. also i'm going to see these bands coin and arizona (my friend is good friends with them and they're rly rad) tonight and then i'm going to emo night at the bar so i'm hella hype.

ok i'm done rambling now this note was long but oh well! thanks for reading! i love ya lots!

song: with or without you by u2

photo: noah bby

xoxo, sabbbycat

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