baby, you're like lightning in a bottle,
i can't let you go now that i got i t . . .

🌊🌊🌊

As my quivering ankles locked up when I reached them, Sadie was the first to notice my presence. I felt a wash of relief at the pretending smile that pulled at her lips.

"Hi," she greeted, trying to cover up the obvious tension in the group. I lifted the corners of my tight-lipped mouth, hurriedly glancing at each of the twins.

Caleb's eyebrows were raised in a way that said he knew what was about to happen. His lips were pursed, arms crossed over his chest like he was reminding me of what I had to do. Noah was a whole different story.

My eyes just about caught a glimpse of his face. That was all I could handle. I addressed the fact that he was there, and that was about it. No reading into his eyes, no predicting the look on his features. Nothing.

Sadie turned to her boyfriend and cocked her head to the side. "Wanna go get a beer or something?" She asked Caleb in a small voice.

"Sure," he nodded, taking his eyes off me to look at her. Both of their eyes latched onto mine, then Noah's, sending us mixed signals. They walked off without saying anything else.

Rolling my lips into my mouth, I faced Noah now and dared looking into his eyes. There wasn't a sign of any emotion in them; it was like looking into an abyss.

If he keeps up that look, maybe this won't be so hard after all.

"Can we talk?" I murmured.

"Yeah," he rasped, his tone sounding like he didn't really have any other choice but to agree. His gaze remained on the ground, hands dangling aimlessly by his sides.

When I motioned for him to follow me, we kept a safe distance between us while walking toward the back of Mason's broad backyard. We were away from a majority of the party, with a couple of people lazing around by the shed to smoke a cigarette. Aside from that, the two of us were alone and I couldn't tell if it was a good thing or not.

I ran a hand through my hair, not knowing where to begin with this talk. We've been avoiding it for so long that it's almost impossible to have it. But with the amount of pep talks I've had this week from Jodie and Sadie, it's safe to say I think I'm ready. They've prepared me for this moment and there's no backing out now.

I thought about going easy on him by trying to get through this with as little mess as possible. Then I erased that idea as Jodie's words bounced around inside my head. Get drunk, corner him, and spit it out.

Since he wasn't saying anything and didn't look like he was going to start anytime soon, I decided to speak up.

"Can you just hear me out for a minute? Can I say what I need to say without any interruptions?" I started off, figuring I could ask for at least that much of him.

He took his eyes off the ground and cast them up at me, faintly nodding his head in confirmation. At that, I sucked in a sharp breath and the words came gushing out instantaneously.

"We both know we've had to have this talk for a really long time, but I think we're on different pages. Because of that, I'm just gonna come out and say it..." I said, waiting a moment as an attempt to compose myself. I put my hands together in front of me, focusing directly on his empty eyes. And here it comes. "I don't like you, in the way that you like me."

At first, I thought that maybe some kind of hurt would flash across his face. Something to tell me that he was affected by my blunt confession. A normal reaction to having your heart ripped straight from your chest. But I didn't get any of that – instead, he blinked.

Nothing in his expression even told me he was listening. I knew he was, but the unresponsive look he was giving me had me second guessing if this was even really happening right now. I swallowed thickly, biting the inside of my cheek to make sure I was, in fact, awake.

So I kept on talking.

"I love you as my best friend, I love having you in my life. I love you like you're my brother – but that's it," I breathed the last two words out slowly. I felt an unfamiliar stinging in the corners of my eyes, making me aware that maybe this isn't going to be as easy as I thought it would. Even though he looks to be not even slightly concerned in what I'm saying, I know Noah. And I know that he can professionally hide his emotions, which is exactly what he's doing.

"You know I care about you and I know you care about me too, but we can't keep doing this. I've gone through all our drunken make outs because of that reason – because I was drunk. And I've never had the guts to tell you how I really see us and how I feel about you, except now it's gone on for way too long. So I think it'd be best if we dropped this whole thing between us before we ruin our friendship because I don't want to lose you," I ended my monologue, my voice growing soft at the idea of totally losing Noah. But somewhere inside, I felt like that would only be the calm before the storm.

Noah's impassive appearance caused my stomach to tighten into a hundred little knots. My shoulders were tense, in perfect posture as I waited for a response. Anything to tell me that he heard what I just said. His gaze lingered on the ground by our feet, lips flat into a line and muscles relaxed in his face. Then I got a reaction.

His dark eyebrows knitted themselves together, his lanky arms folding across his chest. When his eyes finally met mine, they sliced right through me. A gasp nearly left my lips at the look – I know he's hurt. I'm not clueless on that fact. He deserves the right to be hurt since the girl he's liked for about a year just crushed his dreams in two minutes or less.

"Well, Lena, I'm glad to know you're not completely heartless. At least you love me like a brother," he uttered in a snarky tone, his upper lip curling in disdain.

I gulped. My face lost all its color and the icy feeling trickled down to my toes. Oh no.

"It's a little funny that you think I can just 'drop' those feelings that I have for you. But you're one of my best friends, so I guess I'll go through with it," he hissed, his usual humble brown eyes growing darker with every second. "Besides, you have Brody now, so why even bother with me?"

"Don't bring him into this," I lowered my voice, glancing around us in hopes that none of the few smokers could hear our conversation and recognize Brody's name.

"Why not? He's the reason why you're suddenly coming clean to me, right?" He raised an eyebrow, sarcasm dripping from his snide remarks. I couldn't come back with an answer to that – and it was all he needed to prove he was right. My hands curled into fists now, my teeth clenching together in irritation.

He nodded his head slowly, a bitter chuckle leaving his lips. "Exactly. You know, I'd never take you as the kind of girl who picks a bad guy over a good one, but who am I kidding? They always say nice guys finish last."

"Alright, Noah. Enough," I snapped, my eyes narrowing at him. "You guys might not like him, but maybe I do. Maybe I like hanging out with him. Maybe I like his company, and the way he makes me feel. As my best friend, I'd think you would support me."

"As your best friend, I'm trying to protect you," he rephrased my statement, using his hands to enunciate his point.

"So protecting me is another word for degrading him?" I crossed my arms defensively.

He barked out a harsh laugh, disbelief washing over his face as he looked away from me for a moment. "Do you even know him?" He gasped.

"Do you?" I retorted in a growl.

At that, he was stunned, obviously not expecting such a quick retaliation. But when someone is throwing jabs at me left and right over my personal life decisions, my defensive side comes out. And that doesn't happen too often.

His leering eyes lowered, but I stood my ground. "Apparently not. And apparently, I don't know you either. So go have fun with Brody, I don't care anymore. I'm done," he stated as he began to walk away, his shoulder knocking into mine in the process and spinning me around.

"Noah, come on-"

"No. It's over," he cut me off, turning around again. And what he said set something off inside me.

"What's over? Nothing ever even started!"

My voice came out in a breathy screech as my arms flew out in exasperation. Noah's face went blank for a split second before he recomposed himself and another smug smile spread across his face.

It was the truth. The intolerant truth that needed to be said. He didn't want to hear it, but we both know it's true. I just happened to be the one to spit it out.

I felt a sudden weight sit on my chest at the look on Noah's face, because I could see him slipping right through my fingers.

He nodded his head a little, eyes dipping down to my feet before they looked back into mine again. With that wry smirk of his, he croaked out one last thought. "Good to know." Then he turned on his heel and left.

I unleashed the dense breath that was buried in my chest, my shoulders dropping along as well. The buzzing in my head, whether it came from all the alcohol I've drank tonight or the fact that I just lost one of my best friends, was overwhelming. It felt like someone just ripped out my heart, instead of what I did to Noah.

I might as well have torn us both to shreds.

"You okay?" An unfamiliar voice was directed at me. I took my focus off the spot where Noah once stood before and looked to my right.

One of the smokers that was by the shed with his friend was approaching me, a solemn look on his face. Dark hair sat on top of his head in a mess as he took another drag from his cigarette. I tried not to grimace at the stench, but just merely nodded my head.

"I'm fine. Thanks," I breathed out quietly. It was a stretch of a lie, but I didn't feel like explaining to him all that just happened when I don't even know who he is.

He stopped when he was about a foot or two away from me, nodding his head as well. We both faced the party, all of the people crowded on the patio by the backdoor.

"I couldn't really help but hear your conversation. I'm sorry," he attempted to commiserate my situation. It didn't really make me feel better, but condolences from a stranger are somewhat nice.

"It was bound to happen," I shrugged my shoulders, not knowing what else to really say. That was all there was to it with Noah and I.

Another drag and a nod of his head and his work was done here, as was mine. "Take care," he glanced up at me with a half-smile, and with that, he walked off.

"You too," I mumbled. I don't think he even heard me, but I don't really care.

I stood there sulking for a few more minutes, trying to comprehend what to do next. The only thing I could think of was get more to drink. So that's what I planned on doing until I couldn't feel anything.

I crossed my arms over my chest and walked back towards the house. Without seeing any of my friends, I slipped inside and headed into the kitchen. It was a bit crowded with people, but I just put a smile on my face and grabbed a beer from one of the coolers. As soon as I stood back up, a hand gripped onto my arm and swiveled my body around.

My eyes were met with a very anxious Caleb and Sadie.

"What happened?" Caleb spat out in short breaths, releasing my arm.

"What do you think happened?" I retorted as I cracked open my can. "I told him everything."

His eyes widened to twice their size and all the color drained from his complexion. "Shit," he cursed to himself.

"I know. He didn't take it very well," I said, taking a heavy swig of beer and cringing at the taste. I ignored it and kept guzzling it down.

"I think he went home because we saw him leave and now he won't answer his phone," Sadie explained to me calmly, but her knitted eyebrows said otherwise.

"Whatever," I shook my head. "I said what I needed to say, he got upset, blamed it all on Brody, and then left."

Talk of Noah was only aggravating me even more now, adding to my distress. All I wanted to do was forget about him for a little while. Jodie was off having the time of her life with new drunk friends all night, and I wanted to do the same thing – not ruin my Fourth of July by being miserable.

"But this does have to do with Brody, doesn't it?" Sadie asked to clarify, Caleb beside her waiting for an answer from me.

"It has nothing to do with him," I looked her straight in the eyes and spoke clearly. Of course, Brody was sort of the incentive for me to tell Noah everything, but this wasn't because of him. All of this started way before I even knew Brody. The last thing I need is the guy I like to be involved in a mess that he has no part in. "I told Noah the truth and he couldn't handle it."

Caleb inhaled sharply, rubbing the back of his neck and grimacing. "Lena, come on. I think that's a little-"

"I don't wanna talk about him anymore," I cut him off abruptly, and he snapped his mouth shut. "I'm done."

My two brunette friends in love exchanged a look. I didn't know what it meant, but it was probably along the lines of doing damage control with Noah and I.

"I'm going to find Brody," I told them in a small voice. They nodded their heads, so I pushed through them and went back outside where the rest of the party was.

My surfer boy was with his friends, but the second he saw me, a beaming smile popped onto his face. A smile that brought one onto my face as well, causing me to bite down on my lower lip. The hankering I have for Brody is more unreal with each time I see him.

He roped me into a conversation with him, Aiden, Peter, and Mason, consisting of our usual criteria. I couldn't help but lose track of the time whenever I was with them – it always flew by too fast. And to me, that means I clearly have a good time with those guys.

A little before 2 o'clock was when we decided it was time for us to call it a night. Well, for us at least. There were still people drinking like it was their last night on Earth.

Caleb had left an hour before us to check on his damaged twin. Supposedly he still wasn't answering his phone, and Caleb can't stand to have his brother go MIA. He left me with a look that would be stuck in my head for weeks to come, letting me know that things might not ever be the same again in a single glance.

Brody walked Jodie, Sadie and I to the front of Mason's house, with Sadie holding tight onto Jodie. She had way too much to drink throughout the night, and I could picture her now with her head hanging in my toilet all morning. It's been awhile since she's let loose like this though, so I don't mind if I have to clean her up tomorrow. It'll be worth it and very entertaining.

"Are you sure you want to walk home? I can get someone to drive you guys, there's plenty of people here who drove," Brody offered to us, gesturing back to the house as the four of us stood on the sidewalk.

"No, it's fine. This is better because then she'll walk it off," I explained with a chuckle when I saw Jodie leaning her head on Sadie's shoulder. "We'll take the back way and stay off main roads."

"Good point," Sadie heaved, struggling to adjust our tall friend in her arms. Jodie being half a foot taller than both of us made things so difficult sometimes. "I'm gonna get a head start to your house. We probably won't get that far though."

"Bed," Jodie whined in a guttural tone, her face unrecognizable by her unruly blonde waves all over the place.

Brody and I laughed at the two of them, and Sadie just rolled her eyes with a smile. She bid goodbye to Brody, then started walking down the sidewalk with Jodie dragging along next to her. I made a note to myself not to take too long, because who knows what could happen to them.

I turned back to Brody now, watching as his gaze went from down the street to me. The moon and the lights on Mason's house outlined his features, the color of his eyes being the first thing to draw me in. Thankfully, I didn't get too loaded and only had another beer or so after my confrontation with Noah, or else I'm sure I'd be drunkenly trying to raid Brody's pants right now. And God knows I don't have the best of luck with guys when I'm unreasonably drunk.

"Will you text me when you get home so I know you're safe?" His voice came out gravelly, the crooked smile on his face weakening my knees.

"I will," I assured him, a simper playing on my lips. The repetitive thrumming in my chest sped up at the solicitude he was showing me. Bad kid, my ass. "I'm really glad I came tonight. I had a lot of fun."

"Me too," he rasped with a boyish grin. I got so hung up on the sound of his voice and the way he was looking at me that I hadn't realized how he stepped closer to me.

Without another word, he leaned down and placed his lips on my cheek. A firework, like the ones at the beach earlier, went off inside me at the new found contact of Brody's soft lips on my skin. I couldn't breathe for the entire time – which it really only lasted for a second or two.

After he pulled away, he squeezed me into a hug. I still had trouble breathing.

But oh my God, he kissed me on the cheek.

With his arms tightly wound around me and my head pressed against his chest, I could hear his steady heartbeat right inside. Steady, but a little fast, if I wasn't mistaken. Either way, I thought I was on a cloud. I inhaled his fresh, masculine scent and relished in the hug before we both let go of each other.

"I'll see you later, Lena," he murmured, and I got the chills when he said my name.

It sounded different in his mouth. His voice made it sound like it was something just between the two of us. I loved the way he said it, and I wanted to hear him say it over and over again.

"See you later, Brody," I repeated, mocking the slight grin on his face. I spun around with a wave and he watched me walk down the sidewalk until I caught up with my friends.

🌊🌊🌊

"He kissed you!" Sadie squealed.

"On the cheek," I refined Sadie's exclamation. She rolled her eyes and shoved my shoulder, making me blush. "But yes, he still kind of kissed me."

"So do you like him?" She asked, but I think we both already knew the answer to that.

I paused for a second, and when I realized that I was still smiling at the thought of Brody, I nodded my head. "Yeah. I really like him," I confessed in a whisper.

Sadie just grinned at me and we both started giggling. "This is so cute."

"He's so cute," I sighed as I tossed my hair up into a ponytail. "He's perfect, actually. I just don't know what I'm gonna do about Noah."

"I know, but what can you do?" She shrugged, putting her hand on my shoulder. I just nodded and chewed on my lip. "You told him the truth, and there's not much more you could have done."

"I was sort of a bitch though," I said hoarsely, my mouth pulling into a frown.

"Sometimes you have to be a bitch to get things done," she firmly nodded and I knew she was right. I just couldn't help but think that I lost him forever. Even if Brody is something new and exciting in my life, there's nothing that could fill the hole Noah left in me. "Things are gonna be fine. I promise."

"I hope so, because he's one of my best friends. I'd hate to lose him," I breathed tiredly.

"You won't lose him. He loves you