When we return downstairs, I'm absolutely humiliated at what we just did in that bathroom. My skin is flushed, my hair is a mess and I honestly feel like my eyes are saying 'yep, we just did very bad things in the bathroom upstairs'. By Ellie's kind of creepy grin and Haze giving her a side-eye, I can tell they know. I just hope my mother doesn't put two and two together because this is going to be a long dinner.

I sit opposite to Ellie and Jake slides in beside me. Our knees bump under the table and I fist my hand. I need to keep in control.

"How was school, Cal?" Ma asks as she begins to load up her plate. "I haven't had a chance to ask."

"School was fine," I manage to choke out, which is extremely hard when Jake is rubbing his foot up my leg. "How was your day?"

"Couldn't have been over quicker, I was so excited to see my girl," she smiles at Ellie who beams back. "I miss having you here. But I'm happy you're happy."

"Thanks Ma," Ellie smiles and I see the sadness in her eyes. She wishes she was here, too. But she needed to go. Haze, too.

Jake's hand moves onto my thigh and I drop my fork. Mum gives me an odd look and I smile apologetically. The conversation never ceases as Ellie launches into many stories of what her and Haze have been up to. I'm trying to listen. I really am. But Jake's hands are on me and holy shit I cannot think of anything else.

I close my eyes. If he doesn't remove his hand, this is going to get awkward, real fast.

Gently, I pry his hand away and look at him. He smirks at me. He knows exactly how I'm feeling right now. Suddenly, Jake jumps and lets out a yelp. I glance up, to see Haze glaring at him. Busted. He gives Jake a look. A deathly look. Mum's eyebrows are raised.

"Everything okay, dear?" she asks.

"Yep," Jake squawks, his face looking like it's about to catch on fire. Somebody didn't realise we had an audience. Awkward.

When Ma realises she's forgot napkins, she hurries into the kitchen.

"Hey fuck-face, learn some table etiquette," Haze scolds Jake.

"Haze!" Ellie hisses, her eyes flickering to the kitchen.

"No promises," Jake smirks and I just want to die.

I sink into my chair. This is so embarrassing.

Ma returns, completely oblivious to what is going on.

"Hope you're all hungry for dessert," she chirps with a cheery grin.

"Yes," Jake smiles at her, glancing to me. "I'm starving."

***

The last time I sat in the back of Haze's truck was years ago. I was in pretty much the same situation, just less intense, with his brother, but it feels like a lifetime ago.

Ellie and Ma are doing some night special of massages, face-masks and something to do with your feet, which I was invited to of course, but it's not exactly my thing. Or is it? I don't know. I'd be open to it, I guess, but Tommy's party seems more fun. Haze is dropping Jake and I off, before he goes and visits one of his mates.

Jake is up the front, chatting to his brother. I tune in and out as I look out the window, my mind stuck on what happened before dinner.

Jake is so confusing. He acts like he wants me, but only when it's convenient for him. Overall, what does he want?

"So, um, make safe choices and all that shit," Haze says when he pulls up out the front.

"Thanks for the words of wisdom," I laugh.

When Jake and I walk through the front door together, I half wait for him to do a runner. But I guess it's not like we're wearing a 'we're gay' sign up, although it feels like it.

"I need a drink," Jake says, heading straight to the kitchen.

I don't get him. He's so different when it's just us. Even around our family. I can already feel the difference in him now that we're around people we know again.

I follow him. Grant hands me a beer and I chug the neck of it swiftly, before wiping the back of my hand across my lips.

"Jakey!" a feminine voice squeals.

I glance up to see Jacinta and her long legs wandering up to him. She drapes her arms around his neck and plants a sloppy kiss on his lips. I can't help but stare, waiting. He grins at her and wraps his arms around her and kisses her back.

Fuck. This.

Without a word, I stride from the kitchen. That's it. I'm done. I'm not letting myself be dragged around with him when he feels like it. That's just not right.

"Hey!" Katryn waves at me. "Hey you." She gives me a hug, before snagging my beer and taking a sip. She gags. "Ugh!"

"You do that every time," I roll my eyes, trying to shake off what just happened.

"I forget how gross it is."

"Hey Ed," I say when he just stands there awkwardly.

"Cal," he smiles. "What's up?"

"I want to get drunk," I sigh.

Kat touches my arm. I don't even have to say anything.

"On it. Let's get hammered."

***

I fall backwards against the lounge and prop myself up by my elbows. It's been about two hours since we arrived and I've made no effort to see Jake. I've felt his eyes on me but I don't give in.

"Okay everyone," Thomas announces, clapping his hands. "When the bottle lands on you, you get to nominate someone to do a truth or a dare. You only have three truths before you must do a dare. Understood?"

There's a murmur of agreement.

The bottle spins and multiple dares are given out around the circle. Some are really funny, some are a bit daring and some are just plain stupid.

The bottle stops on Alice George. I look over at her and feel a stab of guilt. I haven't returned any of her messages.

Thomas smirks. "I dare you to kiss the most handsome guy in the room."

She rolls her eyes. "That's just going to get me in trouble."

"Not unless you choose correctly," he winks, hinting at himself.

She shakes her head, before crawling into the centre. I really think she is going to go to Tommy, when she turns. Everyone makes an 'ohh' sound at the rejection. She crawls towards me.

Oh.

"Hey," she whispers shyly.

"Hey," I smile back.

"I'm going to kiss you," she says.

I'm going to kiss you. Jake saying that to me only makes my heart hurt.

I nod at her. She leans in and kisses me softly. Cheers and whistles erupt around the room. I think to myself, if Katryn blows up about this, it's going to take more of a milkshake to diffuse it this time.

It's actually kind of nice, in a way, to get a second moment of realisation that this really does nothing for me. If a pretty girl can't get my heart rate up, I'm definitely gay. Although at this point, boys are far more frustrating than girls.

When she backs up, I lightly flick her nose. She smiles at me again, before returning to her spot in the circle. By the time I look up, Jake is no longer sitting around the circle. Which makes me angry. He's allowed to kiss girls, but I'm not?

I look to Katryn. She shrugs and gives me a smile. We're all good.

"Hurtful, but okay, let's just move on," Thomas sighs dramatically. "Cal, your turn."

I lean over and spin the bottle. It lands on Katryn. She smirks at me.

"Dare, Cal, give it your best shot."

She's going to kill me. But I do it anyway.

"I dare you to do seven minutes of Heaven with Grant."

There's an intake of breath. Her eyes widen as she stares at me in shock. Grant looks at me like I've got three heads. One, everyone knows the history between these two, they're not very subtle about it. Two, majority of the people in this room think Katryn and I are together. This is messing with people's head and I don't care. These two need to sort something out and it's never going to happen if they won't speak to each other.

"Do you accept your dare?" I question.

I can't tell if she's angry. I think she's too surprised to feel anything else. Slowly, she gets to her feet.

"Let's just get this over with," she mutters.

Cheers erupt as Grant gets to his feet. He shoots me a questioning stare, before following her up the stairs.

"You've got balls, Callum," Thomas laughs. "I take my hat off to you." He takes an invisible hat off his head and points it at me. "Five-minute interval to refill your drinks everyone, meet back here when you're done."

When I stand, I stumble. I shake my head, ignoring the comments people make about me being wasted. I head to the kitchen, when Jake shoulder barges me.

"You're a prick," he mutters as he walks past.

I scoff. "Takes one to know one."

"I know why you let her do it," he says, spinning back to face me. "It's so obvious that it's boring."

"And why do you do it?" I ask.

He has nothing to say. He runs his tongue over his teeth. "Doesn't concern you."

"I don't even care anymore," I let out a breathy laugh. "I'm done."

It's his turn to scoff. "We're only done when we say we're done."

"Oh yeah?" I say and at this point, people have started to stare.

I throw my fist out and smack into his jaw. He stumbles to the side in shock, hitting the wall. Before he can react, I throw another one into his nose. His head snaps back.

"Jesus!" Thomas exclaims, grabbing my raised fit and tugging me back. "What the hell, Cal?"

Jake is stunned when he looks up, his hand over his nose. He lunges for me. Thomas pushes me back and takes the hit, the both of them crashing to the floor. Jake pushes him off and is on his feet in seconds.

Everyone is silent as they stare, wondering what the heck is going on.

"Fuck you," Jake spits at me but there's a wicked look in his eyes. Something I can't quite decipher. Awe? He's impressed?

I grin back, holding up my bloody hand.

"Fuck you, too."

-------------------

Sorry, but you know me, gotta have violence in every single story. Simply can't help myself.

Instagram: laurenj_22

Snapchat: laurenj_22