Sorry everyone, doing ten hour days, moving house and trying to keep up with my study is legit killing me. This is the only chance I've had to sit and write and it's short and I wrote it so fast but at least it's something. Sorryyyyy

"If that's the kind of reward I'm going to get every time I get a B, man, I'm trying a lot harder at school," Jake pants, collapsing back onto my mattress, sweat covering his face. He drags his arm across his brow, wearing an adorable smile.

"I wanted you to know I'm proud of you," I beam at him, falling beside him, breathless.

"I can tell," he brings his lip between his teeth and my eyes are magnetically drawn to it.

I kiss the corner of his mouth before closing my eyes, trying to regain my strength. Realising quickly I'm going to doze off if I lay here any longer, I push to my feet.

"Shower time," I declare mid-stretch.

"I'll join you in a sec," Jake yawns.

I trot into the bathroom. As I shower, I wait for Jake to join me. After waiting far too long and risking losing the hot water, I step out and towel off, before walking back to my room. Jake stands there, a piece of paper in his hand, his eyebrows raised in accusation. I feel my stomach drop. A thick silence fills the space between us. He's waiting for me to speak.

"When were you going to tell me about this?" he asks flatly.

I exhale, feeling tired. "I don't know."

"You don't know."

"Well, I knew you weren't going to take it well," I point out and wave a hand at his furious-looking expression.

"Oh, why's that? Because you're going to be in a different fucking country for the entire year?"

"Pretty much," I say, brushing past him and sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Do I get any say in this?" he explodes, throwing his hands in anger.

"I'm in the process of fleshing out the details. I think I can swing flying back two times, so it will only be a couple months a part each time."

His face pales and his arm drops limply by his side. "You've already decided you're going? Without even telling me?"

I lean into my hands, my elbows digging into my thighs. "I knew you'd talk me out of going and this is something that's really important to me."

"I thought I was important to you."

"You know you are."

"Yep," he says shortly.

He strides over to his duffel bag and begins to throw his clothes into it. His jaw is clenched and his arms bulging with tension as he aggressively begins tossing his things around.

I sigh. "J, what are you doing?"

"Leaving," he snaps.

"Don't throw a tantrum. Talk to me."

"Seems like you don't really want to be talking about this," he shrugs.

I block his hasty exit out the door, glaring at him. "Don't react like this. Let's talk."

"I don't want to."

"I want a chance to explain myself."

"Did you apply before or after I came back?" he quirks an eyebrow.

"Before, obviously."

"You never mentioned it."

"Never thought I had a chance," I admit. "J, please. Talk to me."

The fight leaves him. His shoulders sag and his bag drops to the floor. He buries his head into the crook of my neck, his hot breath fanning over the delicate part of the base of my throat. I lean into him, seeking his warmth and feeling slightly overwhelmed with his drastic mood swings.

"I don't want to lose you, you mean everything to me," he mumbles.

"I know, I had several meltdowns at the thought of it but my family helped me realise it's something I need to do."

"I don't want you to go," he whispers miserably, clinging to me.

"I know," I say, hugging him tightly back.

He detaches himself from me with a heavy exhale and looks down to the piece of paper that was discarded to the floor.

"Tell me about the fucking thing then," he mumbles, glaring down at the piece of paper.

I grin at him.

I love this boy so god-damn much.

***

It worked out kind of perfectly that Jake found out when he did because when we returned to school the following Monday, the list has been released of who has been selected and everyone is congratulating me.

It's still a sensitive topic between Jake and I, both of us can't really handle talking about me leaving, but we've moved towards acceptance of it happening, which is the best outcome I can ask for, really.

"Can't believe you didn't tell anyone you applied," Grant scoffs with a frown. "Seriously, man, you keep so much from me."

"I honestly didn't want to get my hopes up about this," I admit. "I was positive I wouldn't get it."

Jake abruptly stands and throws his empty packet of food into the bin, before leaving the cafeteria.

"I'm guessing he's not taking it well, then," Grant says.

"He's coming around," I reply, staring after him.

"Feel for him, to be fair. You worked so hard to get him to come out and be with you and now you're leaving." I swivel my eyes to Grant. He raises his hands in defence. "You should go, I'm all for that. I'm just saying I understand why he'd not be okay."

Exhaling, I stand, gathering my lunch.

"Cal, don't go," Grant sighs. "I didn't mean to sound like a dick."

"I feel bad enough about this situation, all right?" I bite at him, before storming out of the cafeteria and after Jake.

There's hardly anyone in the corridor when I get there. A few stragglers, and Jake, by his locker. I stalk over to him and slam the door shut. He flinches in surprise as I pin him against the metal, caging him between my two arms.

"I'm sorry that I'm leaving but I'm not sorry for how I feel about you and everything we've been through. If you can't wait for me or come to terms with this, then that's it for us. If you don't think I'm worth hanging around for, tell me now, save us both the fucking trouble."

He glares back at me with his powerful stare and locked jaw. Our eye contact is so intense every nerve in my body feels ignited. When he doesn't say anything, I let out a scoff and pull away from him.

Jake's hand finds mine and pulls me back to him. He kisses me, long, hard and possessively.

"You better think again if you think I'm ever letting you go," he snaps at me breathlessly. "I'm in this for the long haul. It's me and you. Forever."

"Forever," I second, before kissing him back with all I have.

----------------------

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