Callum's POV:

"Thank God."

"I take that as you missed me?" Kat grins as we detangle from each other.

"Very much."

Kat ended up travelling Europe with her family, missing the first couple weeks of uni, but she's here now and settling in and I am so happy about it. She looks different. More tanned, her hair longer, no longer in the pixie cut and she has freckles under her eyes.

"What kind of mess have you got yourself into?" she asks. "I've noticed you've stopped talking about Jake, so something has gone wrong there."

"That's an understatement."

"You can fill me in but first, coffee."

I take Kat to the local coffee stand that I stop by on my way to classes. We find a spot in the grass, leaning back on one of the big oak trees. The sun hits my legs and it feels nice on my skin. I've spent a lot of time cooped inside the last few days; the fresh air is exactly what I need.

Kat tells me all about her trip, even though we skyped a lot during it. She shares the photos with me that weren't posted on social media and shows me the highlights of her trip, which makes me yearn for a trip of adventure myself.

"Okay, your turn," she moves so that she's in more of a comfortable position. "Last I heard, everything was perfect. What happened?"

"You're going to be really angry with me."

She raises her eyes in surprise. "You're the one in the wrong?"

"Big time."

She leans forward, digging her elbow into her leg, planting her chin in the palm of her hand.

"This is a surprise. Go on."

And so I tell her about the worst mistake of my life. Her mouth is hanging in an O-shape, her startling blue eyes wide.

"You're kidding?"

"No."

"You're a fucking idiot, Callum."

"I know."

"After everything you went through."

"Nothing you say to me is any different to what I've said to myself. Trust me."

She sighs so heavily that a person sitting a few metres from us glances over. She shakes her head, looking sad.

"I'm so disappointed in you, Callum. I never thought you were capable of something like that."

I hang my head and feel like my insides are being destroyed all over again.

"But hey, I'm your best friend and I am going to get you through this, even though you deserve to hurt. Just a bit."

I look up at her. "Thanks. I think."

"And by the way, I think the time of you kissing girls has passed, don't you think?" I see the hurt in her eyes. Even after all this time, it's still there. I wish I could love Kat, like she loves me, but I can't. I'm simply not wired that way and even though we have moved into acceptance of that, hearing of me yet again hooking up with a girl, would probably still sting.

"Probably."

"Why did you do that?" she groans.

"I don't know."

"I seriously don't think you need any more proof, you're gay, man."

"Yes, I realise that."

"Don't get sassy with me, Cal," she eyes me warningly.

"Can you just move past all the stupid things I've done and help me figure out what the hell to do now?"

"Cal!" a voice yells out to me and I glance up to see Lena striding towards us, her long hair flapping behind her like a cape, a wide grin perched on her face.

"Great, beach hoe," Kat mutters and I frown at her.

"Hey Lena," I smile. "This is Kat, my best friend from school."

"You have a best friend from school here with you?" she asks. "Cool! I'm Lena."

Kat glowers at me and is probably pissed I've never mentioned her.

"I've heard," Kat says coolly and the fake smile on her face is so unlike her that it startles me.

"Cute!" Lena grins, either oblivious to Kat's attitude or she doesn't care. "What are you up to tonight, Cal?"

"We're busy, sorry."

I look to Kat, considering we have no plans. Lena's eyes narrow. "Okay then, what about tomorrow? We could go out for breakfast?"

"Callum will still be with me in the morning."

Lena's eyes turn stormy and her and Kat feature in an epic-stare down that makes me feel very uncomfortable.

"I'm free tomorrow in the afternoon, want to meet at the library, or something?" I suggest.

"Sure," she smiles, dragging her eyes from Kat. "Sounds great. Text me tomorrow."

"You're not hanging out with her," Kat snaps at me the moment Lena is out of ear-shot.

"What? Why?"

"Because she's bad news," she huffs. "I don't like her."

"You never even gave her a chance!"

"How do you think Jake would feel, knowing you two are still hanging out, after what happened?" she bursts angrily. "Think about him, or have you forgotten that he actually has feelings?"

My heart sinks into my chest at her words. Once again, I'm not thinking of how Jake would feel. When did I become so damn selfish?

"I know you mean well, she's one of the only friends you have here, but because of her, you really hurt Jake and I think you need to think about what is most important for you and your relationship right now." She swivels her eyes in the direction Lena walked and I can see her eyes darkening.

"She's not a bad person. I made the decision to do what I did."

"Swooping in on someone who is completely heart broken is not a good person. She took advantage of you."

"She did not!"

Kat scoffs, folding her arms across her chest. "Fine. Do what you want, Cal."

"Don't be like that."

She juts her chin out, glaring into the distance.

"Kat," I say, leaning forward, ignoring the past few minutes. "I'm really, really glad you're home."

She softens and her kind smile finally finds its way back onto her face.

"Really?"

"Really," I confirm. "Now, let's go get food. I'm starving."

***

"How have you not been back a week yet and you've already roped me into volunteering?" I sigh.

"You used to enjoy helping others before you were a sulking, sad, potato sack."

My eyes flit to Kat's. "Ouch."

"Sorry."

"No, by all means, be horrible to me. As everyone says it, I deserve it," I slap the poster against the wall with much more force than necessary. "Because, you know, I don't beat myself up enough as it is."

Kat's face falls. "Sorry. It's not really you I'm angry at."

"Is this about Grant?" I question, unrolling the next poster.

"Only kind of majorly."

Grant and Kat broke up before her trip and I guess she hasn't really processed it.

"How have we both ended up single and miserable?" I ask dejectedly.

"Life sucks."

"Hey guys!" Lena joins us by the back entrance with a cheery smile on her face.

Kat literally rolls her eyes and isn't subtle about it. Despite everything that Kat said, I realised Lena is a new friend and I'm not going to chase her away because of one drunken mistake that meant nothing. I briefly filled Lena in, during our hang out, about Kat and Jake and all details of my life that should be known if wanting to be in my circle. She handled it totally fine and when I told her what I did to Jake, she's didn't flinch or act like I was he worst person in the world. It was nice.

The mood is brighter once Lena is here because there's no more talk of broken hearts or ruined relationships, minus the eye daggers shared amongst the two girls.

"Cal?" a welcomed and familiar voice calls out to me. I turn to see Bec entering the hall, arms full of empty boxes.

"Bec!" I grin, reaching out and unloading her arms for her. "How's it going?"

"Good! I didn't know you volunteered around campus."

"It's a new thing," I say.

"Did you hook up with this one, too?" I hear Kat mutter and I side-eye her.

"Jealous because you can't get that far?" Lena lowly mutters back and Kat's face twists in outrage, before her eyes rest on me, burning with accusation.

Bec awkwardly looks around the group.

"Well, I'm going to go get more boxes," she looks at us all strangely before swiftly exiting as fast as she came in.

I look back at the two girls, before walking out. I feel defeated. Kat's attitude isn't making me feel any better and now there's Lena on top of it all. I want to be her friend and I shouldn't have to feel guilty about that.

All I want is to make things right which Jake and then life can go back to normal.

My breath catches in my throat when I see him. Jake is stood a few metres from me. He walks to the coffee shop and grabs his cup, before heading over to a car. I recognise Spud's gangly hair. It appears those two have remained friends through this. My body yearns to reach out to him. I stand there pathetically and watch as they drive away.

"It sucks, doesn't it?"

As if my day couldn't get any worse.

I turn to see Rhett standing there, a couple of rolled up posters in his hand. Of course he would also be volunteering, he's probably got my phone tracked.

"Watching who you want to be with, with someone else."

I don't waste my energy responding. I hug my arms around myself and walk away from him and everything else and hopefully if I keep walking, I'll forget it all, too, because no one can surely bear this kind of pain. 

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