Chapter 9 - Raise Your Frown

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Chapter 9- Raise Your Frown

"Daddy do you love me? And if so why you wasn't there to hug me to watch me grow?Yo, this is what it sound like, growing up with out ya own father in your life." ~Mac Father's Day

Zayn

Ring....ring....ring....

The annoying ringtone went off from my phone, I groaned as I turned to the other side of the bed, and reached up to the night stand to grab it, I looked at the identification and it showed up to be Makiela, I then calmed down and answer.

"Hello?" I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"Zayn what do you want from me?" She askes. I knit my eyebrows together now alert.

"What do you mean? You called me."

"No...why did you stash all this money in my bag, what do you want from me?!" She questions in a harsh tone. I take a deep breath and rub my forehead.

"Kiela, I don't want anything from you. I just want your daughter to be able to do what she wants that's all, a'ight?" I tell her.

"No you don't!" She whines. "Your trying to buy me, I'm not having sex with you no time soon...so stop trying to play these childish ass games!"

I bite on my lip and shake my head shockedat what she just said, that wasn't even close to my intentions. "Kiela....I don't want sex from you okay? The money is yours, let yall daughter be a ballerina."

"I don't believe you Zayn, I feel like your only being nice to me and my daughter so you can get in my pants....I don't think you really like me." I hear her sniffle. From her voice I can tell that she was broken and something triggered her to to feel this way. I hung up the phone and climbed out of my bed, After a few minutes I placed on some Nike Sweats along with my shoes and a black hat.

I then grabbed my keys to start my journey over Makiela's place. It was almost 4am but I didnt mind making this trip for her, some things are better said face to face than over the phone.

After thirty-five minutes I made it over to her crib, I softly knocked on the door and waited for her to answer. A few seconds went by and she opened the door. "What are you doing here?" She ask in confusion.

I entered her home then and closed the door behind me. I grabbed her soft hands and looked into her big brown eyes. "Makiela I came all the way over here to tell you that I don't want anything out of the ordinary from you, that money is for your daughter you don't have to pay me back....I did that because I know its hard for you to be a single mother, and I know sometimes you may need help because you don't have all the support you need. I just wanted to help. Every child deserves to live out thier dreams, I don't want you to pay me back, I don't want sex in return. I am feeling you and I think your very beautiful....I can see us being together. But I can also see us being great friends."

"Zayn....I really like you. But Jayson made it hard for me to trust anyone. He was my first of all. First kiss, first time, and I thought he was my first boyfriend and my first love....but all he did was take my virginity and leave me alone and pregnant. For the last five years, I have been heart broken...he made me feel ugly and made me feel like I wasn't good enough to find somebody who really love and care for me. I was just another hoe to him, when really I was just a girl desperate for love and affection. He never loved me....he just used me."

I lift up her chin and gaze into her dark almond colored eyes. "Baby listen, you can't hold on to that pain. You gotta let it go, you can't bring all that baggage into a new relationship. Close that chapter and open a new book. I honestly really like you too....I think your beautiful, funny, sweet. I can cure that broken heart if you let me." I say truthfully.

"I don't wanna too move fast."

"Okay and I won't rush you."

She looked at me as if I said something that was so shocking to her and she never heard it before.

"You won't rush me?" She ask.

"No we'll move at your pace Kiela, I don't want to pressure you in anything."

She rolls her eyes and gasp as she hold on to her chest. "Oh God.....he's talking right! Prayer works!" She points up to the ceiling, I smile at her dramatics.

"Those words may open up new book."She wraps her small arms around my waist, and looks up at me with a smile.

"Really?" I questioned. "Makiela, would you be my girl? If you don't want to Iunderstand."

"H-how about we start dating but we have to wait to have sex. We have to learn everything about each other you know? When I was in high school I wanted a boyfriend that I could relate with and know everything about, like go on dates and just talk. You know? I'll be your girl I just want something innocent and real." Her eyes wettend, I can tell that she was serious.

"I'm down with that baby, well move at your pace alright?"

"Zayn? "

"Yes Kiela?"

"I'm your girl friend now? Like we date, your not ashamed to show me off to your family and friends?" She asks me in a baby tone.

"Yes baby your my girlfriend, my one and only girlfriend. I would never be ashamed of you, if you want to me my friends you can. But Kiela, I want you to slow down okay....You don't have to rush into this if you don't want to, if you wanna remain friends and then we get together we can do that. I can wait for you."

"Zayn....I just want to know how it feels to be in a relationship. I never had a boyfriend before.....I just want to know how it feels to be liked and maybe loved. If you don't want to be with me tha--"

"I want to be with you Kiela." I cut her off, I then kneel down a little and slip my tounge in between her lip and we begin to french kiss. I lay her on the couch and hover over her and I sense her being nervous.

"We're not having sex, I'm just gonna plant my love on you."

"Okay." She smiles, I then bend down and plant soft kisses on her neck along with chest. She breathes on my neck and I look at as she closes her eyes and bites on her lip, I then kiss her lips.

"Your so beautiful." I tell her.

"Thank you." She caresses my cheek.

A Few Weeks Later.

I pull up to the trap, since the youngins and some of the goons have been holding it down for me I don't have to the be here all of the time. I turn off my car and as I get out I look at the beer cans and ciggarate butts on ground.

I try my hardest to keep the lawn clean , im a business man; my trap doesn't look suspect like others, by the looks of it people would just some assume its a nice family home;can't have the cops lurking.

I enter the house and slam the door. I was dissapointed to see smoke clouds, hoes and crack heads everywhere. Music was blasting through out the home, all of my hitters were gambling in the corner; and didn't seem to notice me. I stood behind Kell and gripped his shoulder tightly, He drops the dice and everyone looks up at me.

"What the fuck is going on?!" I say furious. "Why these hoes in here? Why these heads in here? What y'all tryna do?!"

"It's a trap man, they can be in here." Lil Mikey says.

"One of these hoes can be working with the feds, one these heads can snitch. Y'all know im serious about buisness, I told yall when I started running this that I didn't want the place to look suspect. Get these motherfuckers out of here, and clean all of this shit up." I demand, then pull the blunt from behind my ear place it between lips along with lighting it.

I give everyone a stern look as I walk pass them slowly, I make my to the back of the house and go into the room where most of cash is supposed to be stored in. I walk in to see Jayson sitting at the desk and counting the stack of the money in his hand.

"Wassup?" I say as I puff on the blunt. He corners his eyes towards me, and shakes his head and continue mumbling the numbers.

"I haven't been seeing you in the streets in awhile. All of the niggas accept your self have been giving me my dough on time, but it seems like you holding out on me man, a few of your homies even told me you've been keeping some of my coins to ya self. You ain't disrespecting me because I'm with your baby mama now, are you?" I lean on the door frame while staring him down, I knew that me being with Kiela bothered him; because he's been acting shady ever since.

"N-n-nah man, I've just been out minding my business. I haven't been out on the streets that much cause um I've been busy but I'll have your money." I observe as his hands trembles, he finally looks up at me in I see the anger behind his eyes.

"I need my money today fam, cause all the cash goes to B and then he gotta give it to the big dogs and then the real money start flowing in."

"Alright I'll see what I can do." He says.

"Tell me something bruh.....why you not in your daughters' life?" I walk over to him and lean on the chair beside him, I let the smoke from my blunt invade his space. "That's a pretty little girl, why you don't want her? Why let a fine ass girl like Kiela slip out of fingers like that dog?"

"Man I ain't gotta explain nothin to you a'ight You want to take my place you do that, I don't care." He snaps, then he leans back in the chair and rubs his face with both hands.

"So....you don't care about that little girl?"

"It ain't that I don't care about her....I just-- I had her when I was 14......being a 14 year old dad is hard. I couldn't buy her diapers and shit, I couldn't provide for her.....and then Kiela was too clingy....I ain't wanna deal with allat shit."

"Well your nineteen now right? You can be a father....you can afford to buy your daughter clothes and toys. You got it like that now." I tell him genuinely.

"I ain't raising that little girl, that's her daughter."

I nod my head in understanding, in put my blunt out into the ashtray on the desk and I stirke him in the face with my fist catching him off guard and causing him to jerk back.

"Is it hard being father?! All you gotta do is be there?! You let her raise your seed on her own for five motherfuckin' years!" I ram him into the wall and grip his shirt.

"Is it hard giving your daughter a phone call? Hm? Answer me?!" My voice boom through out the room,

"Nah man." He says frantically and shakes his head.

"You got a dad in your life?" I asked him.

"He died when I was 13."

I nod my head. "He cared for you right, he lived with you and helped your mama up into his death?"

"Y-y-yeah he did." He stutters, I can tell that he was startled by me.

"Well why you can't do the same for your daughter!" I kneed him in the stomach causing him to kneel down and groan in pain.

"I ain't never had no daddy man, and that ade me feel like I wasn't shit and that I wasn't important enough for him. And you allow your baby girl, your spitting image, your seed! You allow her to feel that way?"

I grab him by his shirt and turn him over. "You a pussy! You can't do shit for this establishment.....you cant be one of my hitters cause you scared of changing diapers and shit! Nigga you better run me all of my money by tonight!"

I exited the house frustrated, then entered my car and my phone began to ring.

"Hello?" I answered without looking at the identification.

"Hey Zay." I then heard Makiela's voice.

"Hey baby wassup?" I put my key in the ignition and pull out of the drive way.

"I just called to see what you were doing, I'm on my lunch break." She tells me, I can her multiple voices in the background.

"Nothing I'm just out and about, but baby do you know what today is?" I ask her with a small grin on face as I look at my rear view mirror.

"What Zay?"

"Our two week anniversary." I say proudly, I hear her small giggles on the other line I knew that line melted her heart.

"How did you remember and I didn't?"

These two weeks that I have been involved with Makiela has been very special, we've got to know more about each other. It's kind of like that were not even a relationship were just close friends,I feel like I'm in high school again.

"I got you something special..."

"Zaaayyyn." She whines. "I don't have any money so I can't get you anything, why are you doing this?"

"All I wanna do is see you at my place....alright?" I tell her.

"I can finally come to your place?" She asks surprisingly, I haven't brought her over to my crib because its a mess I've been doing some serious cleaning to keep it spotless for her.

"Yeah.....im gonna order you a Uber, ima pay for it and everything. Come by at 7:30, ima text you my address." I tell her.

"Alright, I'll be there."

"Okay little mama, I'll see you then."

"Bye boo." She hangs up and smile to myself. I pull into Bishop's drive way and shut off the engine. I then take a minutes in sit back, I think about the situation between Jayson and Aabria, it only leads me to start reminiscing about the pass.

Age 11

My mother's boyfriend gets off my bed and exits my dark bed room, I tricked him into thinking I fell asleep after he did one of his routines on me.

Tonight he had to work a midnight shift and my mother was at my grandmother's house taking care of her, so it was up to me to take care of my sister and I through out the night.

I laid in the bed for ten whole minutes until I finally heard the front door shut, the loud thud caused my baby sister to wake up from her sumbler. I didn't mind I was just glad that he was gone.

I went into my mother's room and picked my one year old sister Leyana from out of her crib, then I went into the kitchen and fixed her some juice. After getting her quiet, I got us both dressed and got her stroller from out of the closet.

We went outside, the midnight stars wad glistening, it was calm along with a cool temperature. I closed and locked the door, a loud horn can be heard and Leyana begin to cry.

I kneeled down to her and wiped the tears that was forming in her eyes. "Its okay Le-Le, don't cry." I zipped up her coat and pulled out my gameboy and gave it to her, her mood then changes; she doesn't know how to play it but it can take her focus off of the rowdy streets.

I hold on to the handle bars of her stroller and begin to push her; starting our journey. After a twenty minute walk we make it to to Crenshaw BLVD, where crack heads and prostitutes were just standing around.

I looked around for my father but I couldn't seem to place his face. I go down maple street, which is one of the most dangerous streets in the cities, known for robbery and homicide.

I made it in front of the crack house, where a few people was standing out side of drinking, talking and laughing. I bent down and unstrapped my sister out strolled then parked the stroller near a bush.

I held my sister close to my chest and she laid her head on my shoulder, we walked into the house where the amount of people grew. I held my arm over over Leyana's nose she couldn't inhale smoke and toxins.

As we walked by a hooker touched her finger. "Hey lil baby, who yo mama is."

I rushed away from her and fled to the back of the house, and that's when I saw him.

"Hoe you better get yo' trifling ass out there and make my money, you hear me?" My father was pulling the white woman back from her hair as he shouted in her face. She was half dressed with knotty hair.

"Okay Percy!" She whines and fleas away from him. As he watches her run off he puffs on his ciggarate. He didn't even notice, I catch him before he turns around to enter the other room.

"Daddy!" I called out. He slowly turns around and pulls the ciggarate out his mouth.

"Zayn?" He gives me a black look as he walks towards me. "Boy what the hell you doin here? Where ya mama?"

After two years he still look the same, a brown skinned with man with scars covering his face and piercing in his nose.

"When you comin home?" I ask him.

"Boy, why the hell you got this baby in here? Huh?" He says through gritted teeth.

"Dad I want you to come home....I-I need you." I weep.

He grabs me by my collar and look me dead jn my eyes, he was angry with me. I didn't understand why, I just wanted to see him.

"Why the fuck are you here Zayn?"

I look down at the carpet and begin shed tears. "Dad I just want you to come home. Please.....mama's man keep hurting me."

"Listen boy you need to toughin' up!" He says in my ear. "I cant be there for you right and you know it, so suck it up a'ight."

My tears then pour from eyes harder he wraps his arm around me and kisses my forehead. "Toughin up boy....Daddy can't be here for you right now. Get out of here."

Three months later my father was found dead in abandoned warehouse that was put on fire. He burned to death. All I wanted to do was be with him.

Makiela.

The Uber that Zayn had prepared for me was outside of my job, My shift was over an hour ago, I decided to go to a Victoria's Secret and pick up something. I cross the street while on the phone with my mom, then I entered the back of the car.

"For Makiela Randall?" The driver asked as looks at me through the rear view he had a thick intalian accent.

"Hold on mom-- Yeah that's me. Here's the address to my destination." I hand him the piece of paper that I wrote Zayn's address on.

"Alright." He takes is.

"Yeah mom I'm going to go Zayn's." I tell my mom as I put on my seat belt, then I whip my straight hair to the back.

"So that's your man now?" She ask.

"Yeah my little high school sweet heart. We're dating but are still taking things slow, like I don't expose him to Aabria to much, you know like letting him in the house and just letting him linger. Their builing a relationship though he takes us out.We're still kind of in friends mode... cause were not all intimate. But he's sweet he takes me. We're just being slow with it." I explained.

"I'm glad your happy, he seems very nice and genuine. I'm at Aabria's practice now and I'm watching her skate." She tells me.

"Yeah...Zayn pays for her lessons. He wants her to live out her dreams....oh my gosh mom...he is perfect."

"You better keep him, mommy is proud to see that your happy. I'll call you later and bring Bri home tomorrow?".

"Okay mommy see you."

"See you baby."

I lean back in my seat and enjoy the drive on the high way, all the windows were half way open causing the wind to make my hair fly all over the place.

After thirty minutes, we were driving through out a country type of neighborhood that had a lot of land. I was suprised to see nice size mini houses in their own secluded area.

"Your destination is on the right." The GPS speaks. My eyes widened as we pull up to this big beautiful home, it was surround with palm trees, bushes and flowers. The house was white and olive green colored; the chandlers were shining through the window,

I stared out the window in disbelief that this was Zayn's home. It was to beautiful to match his style.

"Miss your here." The driver reminds me.

"Give a minute this has to be the wrong house." I pull out my phone and go to my call log and click on Zayn's name and wait for him to answer.

"Hello?" He answers.

"Zayn I think I'm in the wrong neighborhood, the driver just pulled up to this house. Can u send me your address again." I

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