Chapter 5- Keep Ya Head Up

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Chapter 5- Keep Ya Head

"Damn, this what I'm talkin' 'bout fam." Bishop says at he sits at his desk counting the money I made within four days, It was almost 3,000 dollars. He nodded and smirked. Then went into his drawer and pulled out a wad of cash then tossed it to me.

"Keep doing what you doing. But word of advice, don't sell and ride around in the beamer. Niggas on the block we'll see you livin lavish and try to rob your ass. Then the police gon' get suspicious, I got a hummer I don't put to use, you can use to make your deliveries if you want." He suggests.

"I'll take it." I nod.

"You think you need some heat?" He questions referring to a gun.

"Yeah." I shrug.

He rises from his seat and shove his hands into his pocket, then goes across the hall and open a door to the closet, he shuffles everything then brings his attention towards me with a glock in his hands, he gives it to me and I place it on my waist line.

"Good lookin'" I nod.

"Can't have my boy unarmed when the block is hot."

"Well let me get out of here." I stretch my hand out and we give each other a brotherly hug.

"A'ight,call me if you need me."

"I got you fam"

****

I entered Keiro Nursing Home, fearful and high strung. The grip I had on the flowers I were holding was so tight that the end started to bent, I took a deep breath and approached the front desk, where a young white female receptionist was staring at me while twirling a black ink pen between her fingertips.

"Hello are you here to see some one day."

"Y-y-yea An--" I took a deep breath and cleared my throat. "Yes, I am here to Angelique Warrior."

"And who are you to her?" She questions.

"Her son." I stated

She stands up and straightens out her brown blouse. "I'll take you to her room, follow me." She says as she gestures for me to trail behind. We finally make it to her room, I stared at the name tag on her door and begin to get nervous.

The receptionist knocks on the door softly. "Angel, your son is here for you."

After a few moments we got no response so she opened the door and there was my mother sitting in the chair with her back facing us, smoke flowed above her head as she smoked on her cigarette. I found the strength to walk in, the receptionist gave us some privacy so I closed the door. I hovered over my mother with a wide smile, she still looked the same, warm mocha skin with thick long hair that stopped in the middle of her hair.

"Wassup ma?" I said joyfully as set flowers down on her small and bent down to give her hug. I then let her go and sat on her bed.

"How you been mama, you look good."

She stared me down with one of her eyebrows raised then looked out the window and continued to ignore presence.

"You know I just got out last weekend, and um I've been working with Bishop. He's like the only one who doesn't hate my ass. I got you these flowers, cause I know back at home you use to put them gardening tools to work, oh l-look at this rose."

I pulled out a pink rose, from the flower bouquet. "You remember this, those roses you planted in '03 and they bloom every where. I was riding pass the house and I saw them in back yard and I was like yo....this mama favorite." I chuckled but she folded her lips and stared out the window her ignoring broke my heart into pieces.

"Mama, I missed you and I wanna let you know that i'm sorr--"

"Shut the hell up with that sorry shit Zayn." She says bluntly as she roll her eyes, then huff. She puts her cigarette out; only to light another one.

"You're the reason why in here." She says as she places her lighter on the table. "Yo' bitch ass just like your daddy, always fucking some shit up! Don't come to me with that, mama i'm sorry shit. I knew I should've gave yo ass up. I knew-" she pats her chest in rapid movement as tears fell from her eyes. "I knew I should've never hand you. Cause you was gon' end up just like him.....you to--you just sorry motherfucker Zayn."

Those words made a me shed the realest tears out of the seven years I was locked up. I attempted to hold both of her hands but she shooed me away.

"Mama, I didn't mean it; you know I didn't mean it ma! If I could take it all back I would and you know it. Mom I don't want you to hate me anymore. While I was locked up, I thought about you every single day! That shit hurt me more than it hurt you." I break down and tears and get on my knees then lay my head on her lap.

"Ma I need you to forgive me! I need you too!"

"Get the fuck out Zayn. Get the fuck out!" She screams then pushes me off of her. I stand up and my heart is completely broken. I looked her in her face as anger formed her expression. I nod my head in what seemed to be understanding; then I walked over to the door.

"Hey ma?" I called out, and she turned to me as she wiped tears from her eyes,

"You can disown me all you want, but I will never shut you out. You my mama and my Queen; I will always love you." With that being said I exited the her room and left.

****

Makeila

"I am so fucking pist." I grunt as I sit in the break room and tears fall from my eyes, after last night I was completely irritated by everything. I was mad that Jason stood us up like that, it broke my heart even more seeing my daughter cry all night. And on top of that, I lost my damn phone.

"Do you need a blunt?" Tysis questions me with a concerned look on her face.

I grabbed hold of my hair and nodded. I haven't smoked in two years, I'm suppose to be sober but as of now I can not even do it.

"Come on let's go." I tell her.

****

Tysis and I sat in her car, and shared the best blunt I had in awhile. All of my worries, was slowly being forgotten as I inhaled the soothing substance.

"You know you really need to just leave Jay alone, you can't force him to be in Aabria's life."

I turned to her then passed her the blunt. " I shouldn't be feeling this way, he told me he loved me an--he said he wanted to be with me. It;s like for the last five years i've been strung out over him, just analysing over why he doesn't want me or Bri. I hate love man."

"You need to calm down and breathe. Stop worrying about because he doesn't deserve hard working woman he doesn't even deserve his daughter. You need to get over him Mikie."

"I can't!" I bust out in tears. "All I do is think about him and I can't stop."

"We--" Before she could respond, I heard a tap on window; I turned and to my surprise it was the guy who gave me a ride last night.

"How the hell did you find me?! Are you stalking me?!' I yelled at him.

"Who is he?" ask Tysis.

I ignored her and got of the car with my arms crossed.

"Nah, nah ma." He pulls my phone out of his pocket and continues to speak. "I found your phone an--"

I snatched it from him and frowned. "I've been looking for this! But how did you find me?!"

"Well I found your phone in my car, so I charged it and started going through it, just so I can find away to give it back to you. I found your mother's number and I called her to tell I had the phone and she told me that you worked here."

"Just give a stranger my info." I huff. I press the power button and go straight to my messages hoping to see something from Jay but there was nothing.

"Fucking ass hole." I mumbled to myself, then I looked up at the guy to see him gazing at my attire.

"Okay, thank you for the phone. You can go now." I use my hand to shoo him away and grins, and continue to stare.

"Bye!" I frowned.

"Damn Miki, why you being so mean, he just want a nice thank you." Tysis says as she exits the car with a her eyebrows knitted together.

"Miki, that's a dope name." He says with bass in his voice and licks his full lips, that were rather juicy. I took a moment to check him out. He stood over 6'0, his skin was a rich dark native complexion and he had a hair full of curly hair that was wild and formed into an small fro. His muscle bound body was damn near ready to bust out of his clothes, he sported a scarlet red Nike jogging suit along with matching KD's on his feet. I then snapped out of my gaze when I notice he was still in his,

"Why are you still here?" I say abruptly.

"I'm sorry for her nasty ass attitude." Tysis steps in to say. "But what's your name?"

"Zayn." He simply states and continue to stare making me feel disgusted. I then walk off and start goin towards my work place.

"Miki, where are you going?" I hear Tysis call after me.

"I have work to do." I tell her

****

"Have a nice day." I tell a customer as I give her items that was being kept inside a plastic work bag. Tysis then approach me with a wide smile spreading across her face. I poked out my lips and scrunched up my eyebrows.

"What's your problem?" I ask her as I sit in my seat.

She then gives a small piece of paper. "Zayn said call him sometimes."

"Eww." I frowned.

"Don't even front, you know that nigga was fine." She stares me down and try hard not smile; at the fact that she looked so dumb.

"He was cute right?" She lifts her eyebrow. "You need a man with your lonely ass." She jokes.

I then look down at the desk and begin straightening up. Tysis then interrupts the process by grabbing my hand, forcing me to face her.

"Girl i'm your friend, so I'm going to always be real with you. It's been five years since you've been depressed over Jason, you need to move on because he's not the one for you or Aabria. You are the most hardworking and beautiful woman I know and you have such a great spirit but your heart broken and you don't deserve to feel this way. I know it's hard because he took your virginity and all; but you need to understand that you don't deserve a man that'll walk over you like he did. You and your daughter is special. One day the right man will come, but focus on your baby and how to make her happy. God is gonna give you something better, let go girl."

I start to shed tears and she hugs me tight and rubs my head softly. "You'll find something better Keila. I promise you.

****

"Bri, do you want me to make Spaghetti today? I was going to make chili cheese fries and hot dog, but we ain't go no cheese." I tell her while looking through our refrigerator.

"It doesn't matter." She says in a low tone, that sounded a bit sad to me. I close the fridge then glance over at her as she sits at the kitchen table doing her homework. I take my time walking over to her, then I place my hand on her shoulder.

"You need some help baby?"

"I'm fine." He tone remains weak.

I lean in and take a quick look at her notebook that says Dear Diary, I hate my daddy. He is stinky trash. She slams the book close and I look at her as she gives me a startled look.

"You're not in trouble Bri." I take a seat in the empty chair next to her and scoot closer to her and hold her soft little hands.

"He hates me and he thinks I'm ugly, that's why he doesn't want me." She says as her facial mien lowers. I hated that those words came out her mouth, and it breaks my heart to know that she feels this way.

"Look at me Aabria." I instruct, but she refuse to listen.

"Look at me Aabria." I repeat myself, but this time I say it more sternly. Her eyes then rises as she stares into mine.

"Your not ugly and no one has any reason to hate you. Your daddy is stinky trash, because he can't see that you are his blessing and one of his most precious gifts."

Her hands slips out of mine and she wipes her eyes. "What's a blessing?" She questions out of curiosity.

"God's favor. A blessing a gift, something that is special, something that is granted to us. Our house is a blessing."

"Are you a blessing mommy?"

"Yeah, it's a blessing for you to have me; because I gave you life, I feed you good food everyday, I teach and take care of you. It's a blessing to have a mother and it's a blessing to have you. Every time I'm sad I can look at your face and your beauty makes everything better." I tap her nose and she giggles.

"You and I, are going to make it without your father. And know that you always have me....I'll give you all that love and life can give, because you're my baby and I want to see happy. Don't hate your dad but remember he is stinky trash because he doesn't know he has an angel like you."

She then cheeses and jumps into my arms wrapping her short arms around my neck. "I love you mommy." She tells me.

"I love you more."
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