Shunt'A POV

It has been about four weeks since our school tour and a few things have changed. Classes do not start until mid August but our school has hosted multiple mixers and other activities for student to socialize and get to know each other. Tyrie has been taking the time to go to almost every single event. He's been meeting some new guys and coming home to talk about all they did or their new plans to hang out.

Now I am admittedly an introvert as I'm sure you all know, but my boyfriend is the opposite. I know it may not seem that way because when we first met he was really standoffish towards anyone other than myself. The case is that Tyrie likes to party and have a good time. He was what you would call a cool kid in high school. He was at the house parties, the kick backs getting wasted, and he attended a lot of school functions.

He's really extroverted and lively once you get past his tough exterior. It is one of the many things I adore about him. I only wish that I could be more like him in that case. I want to feel comfortable going out and meeting people and making my own friends.

That was one thing I feel guilty about because I feel like I'm holding him back from really going out and enjoying himself. I feel like shit when he asks if I want to meet his new friends and I decline because I feel like I might be left out or disliked. There are often times where I feel like the same scared teenager with social anxiety. I don't want to be like a ball and chain latched to Tyrie's ankle holding him back from really enjoying his college life.

"BABE!"

"WHAT TY! And why are we yelling?" I got up from the couch and walked back to our bedroom where Ty was yelling in the shower. Now why is he being all loud when we live in a tiny ass apartment.

I went in the bathroom and he peaked his head out from the shower curtain. I rolled my eyes when he pouted and asked me what I made for breakfast.

"Nigga did you really wake up our neighbors with that screeching just to ask me for some food? Why can't you make your own food after your shower."

"I'm gonna be meeting up with some people I met at one of the student mixers. I'm running stupid late right now. Just make some food for your starving man please."

"Ugh, you gone eat whatever the fuck I make."

"Thank you baby, I love youuuuuu."

mmhmm I bet you do

I whipped up some eggs, bacon, and toast really quick and put his plate in the microwave. I just plopped back down on the couch and turned on some Got7 to blast on the Roku. Sighing, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and waited for Ty to leave me. I wanted to have a chill day at home together because he had been out so much recently meeting with people at the gym, out to eat, or playing the game at someone's house. Some nights he didn't even come home because he and his friends had spent half the day lighting up and he was too messed up to come home and he knows how much I hate him smoking. It's been too quiet in this apartment and the silence is getting to me lowkey. I want to be selfish and keep my boyfriend all to my self.

He came out of the bedroom dressed in some basketball shorts and his shirt just hanging around his neck. His tattooed chest and sculpted stomach were on full display. I hope he doesn't think he's going outside like that.

Tyrie scarfed down his breakfast and rushed over to kiss my cheek. He grabbed his keys and headed to the door.

"Ty."

"Wassup bae, I gotta go."

I pointed to the shirt still hanging around his neck. "Put your shirt on love, I would hate to go to jail for murder."

He gave me a thumbs up and a faint bye.

"I love y-"

SLAM

nevermind I never had a chance

***********

I had cleaned every inch of the house by now. I had taken out the garbage, organized both of the closets, done the laundry, and everything in between. I had changed the channel between YouTube and Hulu looking for some entertainment for hours and still nothing. I could feel myself getting more and more bored and anxious as the time passed. I need something to do, something to occupy myself with. Being alone in a quiet apartment with only my thoughts to occupy me was not on my list of fun things to do in college. It's like if I am left alone deep feelings of sadness come all at once. I don't know why, but the choked feeling of holding back cries comes and I try to shake it off. That only works for so long though.

I sat in silence for a little while before I started to feel goosebumps on my skin. I knew what that meant. I was bored and my boredom tends to lead to anxiousness. I've been bored long enough to know that my boredom comes from years of mental solitude. I hate being left alone with my own thoughts for two long. Ugh all of my sentences are starting with "I", it's beginning to become repetitive.

Getting up from the couch and heading to our bathroom, I decided on my next distraction. A mini self care day and a small outing should make me feel a little bit better. Shit who knows maybe I would meet someone and make my own friends here in Florida.

I took of my bonnet and sighed.

"Fuck, what kind of style won't take me three hours and make my arms hurt? I should really shave this shit off."

I detangled and oiled my hair then flat twisted on both sides of my head. It wasn't my favorite style but it was cute enough to leave the house in.

I did my little baby hair and put my scarf on. I did a mini skin care routine. A little cleanser, toner, and a little moisturizer. Nothing too extensive, just enough to get myself out of my little emotional funk.

I had already showered today but my legs felt like cacti so I went ahead and shaved them up to the knee and exfoliated. Now before y'all come for me about having prickly legs when I share the bed with my boyfriend please remember that I don't care. I could be as hairy as a werewolf and I know that Tyrie would still think about putting my whole body in his mouth.

I wasn't in a makeup mood at all especially with the Florida heat so I just did the basic mascara and lip gloss. I put on a white graphic tee, some jeans, and some white shoes.

I got to admit I look really cute. I might just find myself someone to get into an entanglement with.

"Nah lemme not think like Jada. August is to close to coming and I don't need that bad karma."

I opened my Uber app and thought on where my search for synthetic happiness would take me today.

Ugh I hate how this ends😫 please give me ideas before I lose my mind.

1258 WORDS