INSTAGRAM MOCKS ME as I scroll amongst Kimberly Summers' fan accounts, desperately looking for any sign of her or any paparazzi photo of her. I finally stumble on one account, full of paparazzi photos. One from last week.

"KIMBERLY SUMMERS SPOTTED AT ST. PETER MEMORIAL"

The pictures show Kim helping Nick's soon to be wife, Brittany into the hospital. Yes, I got the good news, the guys group chat is filled with baby pictures, in incubators though. Nick says they should be out by the end of the week, that makes me an uncle, again.

A few hours after she left me here in Milan, Kimmie's Instagram account went private. And I've been miserable ever since. I haven't been back to Zurich, and it's not really a big deal because Kim and I have shot all our scenes so it's just remaining the wrap pictures and all. Neil texted me earlier, telling me they'll be taking the wrap pictures without us, because Kim said she couldn't make it because of personal issues and I have been………..well, MIA. And as always, the fans will be pissed. But then again, they'll get to see us at the premiere in Los Angeles, so that's a plus I guess.

However, Alex owns a penthouse in this world of his and that's where I've been sleeping my heartbroken ass and grumpy skin. Alex has been keeping me company though, but never failing to rub my not-daddy issues in my face. Now, that's supposed to be a joke, but with his stoic face, it definitely doesn't sound like a joke to my ears.

"Rise and shine," his voice and the light of the sun interrupt my thoughts as I throw my phone on the bed beside me.

"I'm risen, just not shining," I groan and he sits on the bed, dressed in a dress three piece suit. "Where the hell are your going by six thirty am?"

"Have you tried calling her?" He ignores my question, a habit I've become quite acquainted with in almost two weeks.

I sit up and pin him with a stare, "I just found out that I robbed her of motherhood and robbed us both of a family, no, I haven't tried calling her,"

"Do you really think she's mad at you?" He raises a brow.

"You show are around a fucking theater and all of a sudden you know her more than me, how epic," I say, a sarcastic tone somewhere in my voice.

"If anything she's not mad at you," He ignores me yet again. "She just needs time to process what you said,"

"I'm a mess," I groan and I fall back to the bed.

"Yeah, clean up after yourself, I won't be back until tomorrow," he says. "Oh and if you're hungry, just tell the staff to whip something or order something, whatever feels right," And with that, he walks out in long strides. I never knew he was this rich, I mean a restaurant in Zurich and a luxurious penthouse in Milan? What else do I not know about my best friend?

☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎

THE REST OF the day goes by in a blur. And I'm torn between texting Kimmie and just leaving her to think.

I should have been a dad. We could have had a family. A baby.

The thought shatters my insides, and blurs my vision constantly until I shut my eyes, tortured and haunted by memories of us.

"How do I look?" She'd asked. Six years ago we were going on our third date (Kimmie counted, not me), and I was going all out. Dating a rich girl was almost kinda difficult in the spending department, but with Kim, she made everything easier. The way her eyes would light up at the sight of whatever I got her. Earrings, charm bracelets, literally all the little stuff. The happiest I'd ever seen her was when I got her a custom made hoodie with my jersey number on it. She wore it to sleep literally every night, and she always wore it to tease me.

I'd blinked, observing her. She'd worn a peach dress, embroidered with silver looking roses at the waist; the dress stopped a few inches above her knees and I loved it. Kimmie was simple, sweet, elegant, enticing, everything I wasn't, everything I didn't fucking deserve, but also everything I'd prove myself to.

"Quit fucking me with your eyes and answer me!" She'd yelled, embarrassment flooding her cheeks and a rosy blush on them. I'd loved it when she used the word "fuck" a lot. I was starting to rub off on her and I was loving it, so damn much. 

"You look fucking pretty, princess," I told her, and she blushed some more. Her lips were strawberry pink, matching the striking blue in her eyes and the hazel of her hair. She looked lovely, a dream I didn't want to be over. Except she wasn't a dream, she was fucking reality and I was going to spend the rest of my life living her.

"You make me shy a lot," she whispered as we walked towards my truck.

"Not in bed though," I whispered, my mind flooded with visuals of how freaky she got whenever I sucked her tight pussy and teased her clit with the tip of my tongue, how she'd shamelessly grind her pussy against my lips, desperately and unapologetically seeking for more of my tongue, and how I'd loved nothing more than torturing and nurturing that need.

I turned to look at her and her cheeks were rosy once again, a spark in her eyes, like she was sharing in my dirtiest of thoughts and she was fucking loving it. No words could describe that moment, where it felt like we were made for eachother and destined to be together.

I took her to the restaurant, it was a small one and I was almost nervous. But getting there, the first thing she found beautiful was the dog of a fellow customer, and how he barked in excitement when she rubbed its ears. I remember making a mental note to get a dog for her in the near future. The next thing she found beautiful was the abstract art on the walls of the restaurant. She'd stared at them for a while, describing them to me and I nod, barely listening to what she was saying, but enjoying the way her lips moved and how passionate she sounded. I'd figured something else out that night, Kimmie had a huge appreciation for art.

She ordered so many burgers that night and nothing made me happier than watching her eat. I also found out that her Mom had put her on a strict diet, to prevent her from getting curvy like her sister, and how she hated the diet so much that she was always hungry. She opened up a lot and I loved it so much that listening to her became my favorite highlight of the night. I opened up too. I told her about my dad, and how much of an asshole he was and how my mom has been my constant, in hockey and my life in general. And how I was excited to take her home and introduce her to my mom. She was almost freaked, but then she was honored to meet my mom. I knew Mom was going to love her, I honestly just knew.

I remember not wanting the night to be over. I remember the way our eyes locked every moment and the way her cheeks would redden. I remember feeling deliriously happy in that moment. I remember the way my dick got hard when she licked some ice cream, I remember wanting to take her out of this restaurant, back to my truck. I remember wanting to fuck her until my name was the only word she ever knew.

When our time at the restaurant was over, I drove her back to the dorms. And honestly, I tried. I tried to be a gentleman and just kiss her at the door, but I failed. One taste of her lips and I was a fucking goner for this girl. Her roommate wasn't home, so that made things so much better.

I kissed her, exactly the way I'd imagined it in my head, my tongue in her mouth, colliding with hers as I used my hands to rip her off her dress until she was almost naked, left in her innocent underwears. I kissed her so much that my dick begged for attention in my pants and she gave it that. She palmed me through my jeans as we kissed, slowly and steady, hot and needy. I almost paused when I realized something, we were going to have sex for the first time and I needed to make it fucking worth it. She'd told me about her first time, how sloppy the fucker was and how he called her a little piece of ass after that, and how that made it difficult for her to share her body with anyone since then. I was hell determined to change that.

I savored her. Her lips, her neck, her chest, her nipples. She had breast that were an accurate hand full, and I fucking worshipped them. Telling her how beautiful she was with every kiss, every lick and every stroke. She whimpered and moaned, falling on her bed, and I followed suit, sucking on her nipples so hard that she began to pull my hair and ask for more and more. Her panties went off and I worshiped the naked sight of her. And fuck, she wasn't waxed, she was just natural, a little hair at her crown and I still fucking loved it. She had no idea the things she did to my fucking soul, and I was about to give her a glimpse.

My lips wrapped around her clit and her lips formed a fully aroused "O" that made my dick harden even more. I proceed to feed on her, working her clit with my tongue and working her entrance with my fingers. She was so fucking wet, and she began to pull hair, my name an undying moan from her swollen lips. I loved every fucking second of it. I sucked and licked her clit like my life depended on it. She moaned and cried out shamelessly, and her legs shook from the orgasm-fueled shock all over her body. The first one ripped her apart and I enjoyed watching her come undone the same way I enjoyed giving her the next one in the next few minutes.

I rose to my feet and she watched me with pleasure coated eyes. I took off my clothes, my shirt and jeans going first and my briefs last. My dick practically cried in anticipation, pre-cum present on the tip. She reached for me and I shook my head. I didn't want to come in her mouth, if anything, I didn't want to come just yet. I wanted to savor everything.

I reached for a condom in her drawer and I put it on as fast as I could. I got her comfortable and I loved the way her eyes lit up in anticipation and teeth bit her bottom lip. I nudged at her entrance, teasing her for a bit before I slid slowly into her warm squeezing entrance. She took all of me in, and her pussy was generous enough to squeeze my enormous length, and I fought the fucking urge to come immediately. But no, tonight wasn't about me, it was about her. Just her.

Her moans filled my ears as I slid in and out of her at a torturous pace. And then she wanted me faster. And I did just that. I slammed in and out of her while I used my hand to play with her clit. She shuddered and screamed our bodies slamming against each other, over and over and over again. I loved it. She loved it even more. I wrapped my arms around her waist from underneath her and she wrapped her thighs tighter around me. I continued to fuck her like nothing else mattered, like this was my last fucking day on this planet. Her orgasm hit her like a huge electric shock, and she screamed my name so loud and her nails clawed at my back. I loved it, watching her break apart because of what I was doing to her. I followed suit, pulling out of her and emptying myself in the condom and she watched. And I swear I almost blurted out how much I loved her.

My phone rings on the pillow next to me, bringing me back to reality.

Aaron. Facetime. I look like shit, not like he'd mind. Here's to hoping he doesn't give me shit for all this.

"Hey man," I greet as I answer.

"Hey, how you holding up?" He asks, genuine concern on his face.

"That obvious huh?" I ask, a painful chuckle leaving my lips.

"Yeah you look like shit," He grimaces. "If anything, she looks like shit too, she's been here all week, binge watching Sex/Life and playing big Aunt to Junior,"

Fuck. "Wait, she's at your place?" My throat locks.

"Yeah, yeah, she's here, they're having a girls' night and I'm cleaning my mess in the room before Liz comes back upstairs and gives me shit for throwing my socks around," he rambles.

"I know what you're thinking, and no, I don't hate you, okay, and neither does she, she's just in a really bad place now, everything's too much for her to handle," he says and I nod.

"So what do you think I should do?"

"I honestly think you should allow things to go at her own pace, don't call, don't text, allow her to reach out, a lot of damage has been done man, what happened to her, it's terrifying, honestly and she went through it alone and had to go to a lot of therapy," he sighs. "Just let her be for now, and just, don't lose hope, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, okay, thanks man, I really appreciate," I nod and he does too, ending the call after a beat.

Maybe there's still hope for us after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N

Yes Lee is brooding and feeling like a complete d**k. He also lost a child too, a child he knew nothing about and to say that it hurts is an understatement.

And Alex looking out for Lee? Yes, I'm loving him and writing is book right now.

And who doesn't love a little flashback smut?

I just totally love the way Aaron looks out for Kimmie like a sister and the way the bond between Liz and Kim is getting stronger and stronger.

I will be fully active as from Tuesday! This was just a surprise for you guys my lovely readers. Also there will be daily updates because I'm totally done with ASLT offline!

And thank you for 100K!!!! I'm screaming!!

Also, I wanna enter ASLT into the wattys. What do y'all think?

See you soon, xx.