"There is never a time or a place for true love. IT happens accidentally in a heartbeat in a single flashing, throbbing moment."

H U D S O N

Those two blue–green eyes blink up at me, those full pink lips whisper and scream my name as I push in and out of her against the bathroom wall, planting kisses on her neck, spine, spanking her soft ass cheeks just the way she likes it, worshipping her body just the way she pleases and so much more. Pushing in and out of her, at a rhythm we both love, not too fast, not too slow, just there...... perfect, real, connected. I pull out of her for a second, giving her time to turn around, and wrap her thighs around me as I lift her up. Setting her steady on the wall, her thighs wrapped tightly around me as I hold her up, making my way inside her warm wetness, holding her steady as we make love, kissing her, whispering all sorts of things to her, telling her how much I fucking love her, how dark my forever would be without her. And trust me, I mean every fucking word that comes out of my mouth. Her moans fill my ears, and her nails draw lines on my back, I bite the spot right underneath her ear and her body shudders, her orgasm building up, mine too. She erupts in screams of pleasure, and I follow after her, giving her everything that comes out of me. Bodies entwined, souls united. "I love you," she whispers, and with her I know it's not the good–as–fuck sex talking, but her big heart. Two hearts beating in sync with each other, two chests heaving with extreme pleasure, two souls destined to be together and two hearts moulded just for each other.

My eyes snap right open, and my bed rids of sweat. I was having a fucking sex dream. Christ. So much for my "friends" decision. My mind is fucking trash, but nothing a little workout won't fix. I don't take a shower as I so desperately avoid a repeat of my inappropriate dreams, instead I throw on some gym clothes and I leave the house unnoticed, that's if T is not pretending to be asleep.

It's 5:30am and the gym security gets the door for me and I bolt in, heading straight for the punching bag and gloves. I throw my shirt to the ground and I punch away my dream.

It's like she was just there, telling me how much she wants me, how much she loves me. The last thing Kim feels for me is love, and as selfish as it sounds, I'm really not ready to tell her the fucking real reason why I bailed on our plans for forever, and I honestly hope to God or anyone that answers prayers that she doesn't ask. I'm being selfish, I know, but if I'm being rational, it's a hell of a lot better than looking like a goddamn idiot. I punch and punch in the fading darkness of the early morning, the only sounds I hear are the obvious frustration of the punching bag and the sounds of my hands attacking it.

It's like she was just there, and I could fucking feel all her warmth.

I punch my fucked up imaginations away. I'm going to be stuck acting a fucking movie with this woman, so the best I can do is put up some wholesome thoughts and get my shit together without ruining our new dynamic, "friends". I honestly never thought I'd use Kim and I in the same sentence as that screwed up word, but the universe found a way to punish me, and I will, so gladly accept it.

I hear the small rattle of the gym door and I stop punching to see who. Alex, he walks right in, also wearing Gym clothes and looking more distraught than I look. He turns the gym lights on from the switches next to him, and we both confess our reasons for being here so early in unison.

"Bad dream,"

"Marriage sucks,"

That's the last thing I expected from him, so I give him a crooked grin, "Punch me then,"

Alex wastes no time to do just that, and I let him take it all out on me. This used to be our buddy routine, when either of us was having a bad day, one of us would punch the other to let it all out. And seeing as he looks more devasted than I do, I think he deserves to get a few punches in me. He does just that, until he collapses on the floor of the ring and sits on his ass.

"It's not as good as they said it would be," he chuckles bitterly, letting out a huge breath. "I mean I didn't really expect much, but it's all just fucking stupid at this point,"

"Remind me to never get married," I laugh.

"What I will do is to remind you to step up your game and get your girl back,"

"And what I will say is that you should take your own advice," I sigh, turning around, away from the lies in his words and eyes. "I tried to hate you, man, you may have fooled everyone here, all our friends, but I see the way y'all look at each other, you and Jo, like there's some message y'all are sending and we all don't understand or notice it,"

"Look again, bro, it ain't there anymore," he stands to his feet.

The gym door opens, and the last person Alex wanted to see, steps in. I know that by the way his throat bobs and his face freezes.

Jo.

"Don't look at me weird, I want to punch something too," she says to me, her eyes avoiding Alex's.

"Punch me," comes Alex's voice next to me. Completely clueless of the wordless conversation between them, I walk away from the ring. Jo steps in, and Alex steps backwards, like, I don't fucking understand what they're doing, like they've probably said a thousand shit to eachother and I'm just watching, fucking clueless.

She punches him. Like real hard in the face.

And I take that as my cue to leave.

☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎

"You've been cleared to play this Friday's game," Coach Mike smiles proudly at me. "Lately you haven't been doing any radioactive stuff, so Nadia was able to rail the NHL and get you two games right before you start filming," he smiles more. "And the guys miss you, so go get your gear on, I want to see you in the rink in five,"

"Thanks Coach," my mind bubbles with excitement. Kim was right, the fans at The Matt Dennis Show loved me, at least a little bit.

I rush to the locker rooms to get changed, and as usual, half naked men and jockstraps surround the place.

"So what's it like hanging around Kimberly Fucking Summers?" One of them asks. "I mean we're all famous but come on, she is Kimberly Summers, everyone wants to hang around her,"

"It's alright, she's cool," I manage a chuckle, bracing myself for whatever is about to come next.

"And to think y'all are going to be in a romance movie, like bro???? Maybe I should cause crazy scandals like you do!" He teases and everyone laughs out, like the entire locker room is literally crawling with laughter as I step out of it.

I grab my skates and I head for the rink. Excitement fills my veins as T and Aaron cheer as I skate my ass in. I missed this, the chill of the ice underneath my skates, the feels I get around my teammates and of course the constant fun we make of eachother. We're grown as men, yeah, but being in the rink allows us to act like crazy teenagers for a while.

Somewhere in the rink, Nick skates alone, his entire body so focused on the lined up pucks as he shoots them into the net.
"What's with him?" I ask T as we skate.

"Daddyhood," T sighs. "Ever since Bri's little run in at the hospital he's being on the edge, rumors are, he's seriously considering retirement," He huffs out a small breath. "I'd talk to him, but who I'm I kidding? I know nothing about daddyhood, and right now, the only person he gon' take advice from is Aaron,"

"What if he's actually considering retirement?" I skate faster, trying to pick up the pace as I ponder the rumor.

"It'll suck, but then again he'd be doing it for his family, and we gon' have to support him," T sighs.

"Yeah, yeah," I mutter. I didn't realize how much I'd missed this sport, or how much I'll miss Nick if he actually retires.

"So how's your friends stuff going?" I can practically hear the tease and mockery in his voice, so I ignore him. "I take that it's not working out?"

"Shut up," I mutter as we practice.

"It ain't fair you know, I mean, I don't care how it makes you look but she deserves to know why she was treated like crap, even though it makes you look like mega crap,"

"A very funny way for you to put it after hearing my side of the story, T, remind me to never confide in you, ever again," I slam a puck.

"Look bro, if you were expecting me to be your yes–man, then you better pick yo ass and go find someone else,"

"I wasn't looking for a yes–man, I just wanted——"

"Someone to tell you that what you did wasn't shitty," he sighs. "Look man, tell yo story to the best therapist in all of freaking Seattle, he or she gon' tell you the exact same thing I told ya,"

"Yeah, yeah, how 'bout I don't need a daily reminder that I'm an idiot for letting things go down the way they did," I feign a smile at him.

"I'll gladly consider it," He chuckles as I turn my back on him. "well well well, if it isn't the love of your life," I turn to him immediately, at the same time I see Kim standing just a couple of steps away from the rink, with her sister, talking. I try to make out her clothes from the rink, but I fail because T pulls me to the ice with him.

"You're being too obvious!" He practically yells in my ear.

"And you're going to help me avoid her until practice is over," I give him my best pleading look.

"Now why the hell would I do that?" He chuckles.

"I'll tell you later," I pause, "When I'm wasted," I sigh, my voice followed by a small laughter from him.

"You're really enjoying this aren't you?"

☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎

My plan worked, or at least I think it did. I was able to avoid her for my dick's sake. Afterwards I met up with Nadia to talk movie name and where we are going to film. Zurich, they said. Now I might be a hockey player but I've never been to Zurich, so of course I'll appreciate the change of scenery and all, I just hope it's not always as cold as Seattle. The name of our beloved movie is, Never, Ever, Never. Yeah, I was puzzled too, I will be playing the lead Male, Brandon Zac, a man fighting to be united with the love of his life.

Ironic huh? I haven't seen the script yet.

Nadia is a great agent, and I get to know new stuff about her everyday. She has a golden retriever and a gorgeous girlfriend that both live in Switzerland and are making the whole long distance thing work, she's also extremely bossy, kinda reminds me of Aarons crazy cousin's girlfriend, Diane, who is currently in Paris with her girlfriend of course.

And no shit, the paparazzi and a couple of onscreen reporters keep talking about Nick's retirement. Scary shit.

"You've been out here for a while," My mom's voice brings me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, just thinking about this whole Never, Ever, Never crap," I sigh as she takes the couch next to me.

"It's not crap, it sounds sweet, romantic even,"

"Of course it sounds romantic, it's a romance movie, Mom," I chuckle as she leans on my shoulder.

"I miss her," mom sighs, and I know who she's talking about.

"Well, I miss her too, but she deserves better," I sigh, leaning into her warmth. I'm a Mama's boy, I can't help it.

"So you're not even going to try to win her back?" She asks. When I don't answer, she continues,

"Well if Hudson Lee James doesn't win her back, I'm sure Brandon Zac will."

A U T H O R ' S    N O T E

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