"They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I don't think it's possible for you to miss me as much as I'm missing you right now."
-- Unknown

K I M B E R L Y

"HAVE A GOODNIGHT, Kimmie,"

At this point I think that voice will haunt me all night. Especially with the fact that his room is just a couple of doors after mine.

A deep breath rolls off my chest as I sit on the bed. I have a facetime with Liz in twenty minutes, and The Krakens have a game this week, I just don't know if she's here to watch Aaron play live. And then I have a zoom call with my manager and agent.

Logging into my fake Instagram account, I find a couple of paparazzi pictures of me from the lunch with Sam earlier today. Turns out my life is not so private after all. It can never be.

This is the only place where I'm surrounded with the things I love. This room is the only place where I can find a little bit of peace, a little bit of who I dreamt of when I was a child.

I feel bad for the eight-year old me who wanted a simple life. I want to tell her that I'm sorry I couldn't give her what she wanted. I want to tell her that I'm sorry I gave up on all her dreams. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for for the fame and the support and for my fans, I'm grateful for the love and awards, I'm grateful for my sister and brother, I'm grateful for a wonderful brother-in-law. I'm grateful for a lot of things, but honestly, there are moments when I wish I wasn't on so many billboards, on so many TV shows, on the lips of so many reporters and analysts.

It's finally time for the facetime, and when I pick up, it's not just Liz, it's Liz, Aaron and my nephew, Junior, who is more focused on tapping the screen with his small palms.

"Oh my god, hi Junior," I squeal and he mumbles some more incoherent things and I laugh. "Hi, Sissy, hi Aaron,"

"Hi Sis," Aaron smiles, his new name for me making me smile. He carries Junior in his arms and Liz beams.

"So how were you able you get a single hotel room for your Wife and Kid, huh?" I tease.

"I'm the team captain," a playful grin plays on his face. "And since we're in the same hotel, I'd like to see you in the box next week," he smiles.

"Like you want me to come to the game?"

"Yeah, and hang out with the girls, especially Liz," he wraps his free arm around Liz, while Junior is so focused on admiring his face. "She really misses you, you know?" He says and I suddenly feel really bad.

"Liz--"

"No pressure, Kim, I know you have a lot on you're schedule and you are probably reading a script right now, the thing is, I just feel disconnected from you and I just want to hang out with you," Liz rambles and a tear rolls down my cheek.

"I'll be there," I smile.

"Yay! I'll get you tickets," She screams as Aaron and Junior move away from the screen. "You know we're literally in the same hotel right?"

"Yeah," I grin, suddenly reminded of the fact, Lee is here too. My smile fades a bit, but Liz doesn't notice. "How's marriage?"

"It's good, I meant it's tough sometimes but it's also really good, yesterday Aaron and I we're talking about--" she leans closer to whisper, "another baby,"

"Oh my god, what?" I scream in excitement.

"I know right, I mean, I don't really know, but wouldn't it be nice to give junior a baby brother or sister," she sighs thoughtfully, "But then again, I love my boobs,"

"Yeah I can see that," I chuckle.

"What about you? You don't look so good," Liz frowns. "You look the way you did when that guy from college broke up with you,"

"What?" I choke out.

"Yeah, you won't even tell me his name so I could beat him up," she folds her arms.

"You could have hurt yourself," I say, my voice more defensive than ever.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," She rolls her eyes. "but he was an athlete right? Who knows, he probably made it to the pros, you can still tell me his name so that I can beat him up, or no," she smirks playfully, "maybe, Aaron will,'

She seems persistent, and there's no way she's backing down now, so instead, I give her a name she'll never find in the NHL.

"Lee James."

☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎

Liz: come hang out with us, if you're free. It's me, Junior and Nick's Girlfriend, and she's craving so much weird stuff.

I stare at the text from Liz, while another one chimes in.

Tony: breakfast date? I'm at the lobby already, see you there.

And another,

Sam: I ran into Liz and Bri, I don't know if you know her but she's Nick's fiancee and they also want you to hang out. I'm hoping you make it. <3

After a long thought, I decide to hang out with the girls instead. My mom is probably going to yell at me for ditching Tony and that's a battle I will definitely fight later.

The meeting with my agent and manager last night was a productive one, and according to my neverending schedule, I'm actually free for the rest of this week. No interviews or promo photoshoots, only two appointments with Dr. Harley.

Liz: we're right outside the hotel.

She texts again.

Sam: please don't break your sister's heart, okay, even baby Junior is here too.

My heart breaks at the amount of times I've let Liz down in my life, and how she has never stopped reaching out for me. So I take a quick shower, throw on some denim jeans and an I LOVE DAMON SALVATORE oversized sweater and then I head downstairs.

I almost bump into Tony at the elevator, so I rush to take the stairs before he gets out. In a matter of seconds, I spot Liz, Brittany and Sam and I rush to meet them. The last thing I need is Tong seeing me when I'm about to bail on breakfast.

"There you are!" Liz screams, pulling me into a hug. Junior giggles in Sam's arms and Brittany is already showing.

"How many kids are in there?" I rub her belly and she laughs.

"Nick and I made two babies," she grins as we all enter the car. "I shudder whenever I think of breastfeeding," she groans and we all laugh. Sam hands me Junior, who opens his arms to welcome me.

"How about Diane and Aaron's cousin?" I ask.

"Paris, living the dream life," Liz gushes.

"You could say that," Sam grins.

"They are so happy together," I say more to myself than her.

"We're going shopping and after that, we'll go hang out with the guys, hopefully they'll be done with practice, and Junior will hang out with Daddy while I hang out with you guys, you okay with that, Kim?"

Oh god, the guys?

"Yeah, wait, you mean all the Kraken players?"

"Yeah, well, most of them,"

"Big T, Hudson, Aaron and Nick," Sam says and Bri giggles.

"And Alex, except he and Hudson aren't really on good terms," Liz says.

"Is this about the marriage thing, it's been almost three years though, can't Hudson get over it?" Hudson doesn't just get mad at someone, he's literally the happiest person I've ever known, there has to be something up.

"Well, Alex put his dick in Hudson's sister and went ahead and married a princess, and I don't think Hudson is getting over that," Bri narrates.

Oh god, what?

"Hudson has a sister?" A sister I didn't know about?

"Yeah, it's a long story, you know more when you hang out with us more," Bri smiles.

"Kim is a busy woman, if she gets a huge gig, we might never see her again," Liz teases.

"I will try to hang out with you guys more," I say more to myself than them.

"If not for Liz, do it for Aaron, he really wants you to be close to his family," Bri whispers, her hand on her small baby bump.

"I will," I smile. I look at Liz and Bri, and then Junior who plays with my necklace, and for a moment, I remember when I wanted a simple life like this, I remember when I almost had a simple life, and how it all crashed down to tears and screams.

I love you.

I will go through hell and back for you.

I love you so fucking much that it hurts.

I can't imagine a life without you, Kimmie.

He sure as hell did.

☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎

We're finally done shopping, and Sam got a shit ton of shoes. All under Aaron's huge credit card. I got a bracelet, Bri got small baby clothes for her unborn twins and she kept sending pictures to her fiancee, Nick. I've actually met him a couple of times and he honestly seems like a down-to-earth, caring person.

And Liz got sexy lingerie, because the sitter would be around tonight and she misses Aaron. I know y'all get what I mean by that.

We're now on our way to the bar, but first Liz had to leave Junior with the sitter and change her clothes. My hands are sweaty and clammy, and I know why. At this point, I honestly pray he doesn't make it, I pray that something comes up so I don't have to sit next to him or something.

Have a goodnight, Kimmie.

And his voice still tortures me till this moment. Why did he have to be the one in the elevator, why did he have to pick up my airpods, why did we have to cross paths again?

You have good life, a perfect life ahead of you, Kimmie, and I'm not about to take that away from you.

Lee, please--

Goddamnit Kim! Aren't you listening to me?

"Kim?" Liz calls. "you spaced out for a second, we're here," she says at the same time my phone beeps in my purse. I take it out and I see texts from Mom, Dad and Tony. Jason hasn't checked on me yet, he probably wants me to have some fun.

"Don't worry, everyone at this bar has signed an NDA, so they can't tell anyone what or who they saw here," Bri says.

"And you're allowed to get wasted," Sam grins at me. She's right, I really can't remember the last time I got wasted. Maybe alcohol would make it easier for me to face Lee and not feel anything. Maybe.

"Deal, I will get wasted," I say and Sam cheers.

"And I will be the DD for tonight," Liz pipes up.

"I can't drink because I'm pregnant, and Nick wouldn't even let me drive," Bri whines.

"He's right to not let you drive," I say and she nods as we enter the bar.

"Babe!" Liz jumps into Aaron's arms and smile to myself. She really is so happy with him.

"Hey you, girls, our table is this way," He smiles as Sam makes excited noises. "Ah Kim, you made it!" He yells in that voice of his. "I'm really glad you were able to make time for this,"

We head to the table and I spot the guy the hockey world knows as Alex, the guy Sam described as Big T and of course, Lee. Even in the multicolored lights I can still spot him, his long dirty blond hair and that hard jawline of his. He's dressed in denim shorts and an NHL hoodie, one of his favorite things to wear back in college. He really hasn't changed so much. Big T says something into his ear and he chuckles, and I find myself smiling.

Big T says another thing into his ear and those grey eyes state up at me........

It's officially game over for my broken heart.

A U T H O R ' S N O T E

Hey everyone!

Sorry for the lack of update this Tuesday, I was actually not feeling so well but I'm doing better now!

How are we loving Kim's relationship with Liz and the girls?

How did you like this chapter?

ALLT hit a million reads and I am insanely grateful to you guys for everything!

Thank you so so much!

See you soon!

Xoxo, M.