Chapter 28

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'It's one conversation, that's all.'

It was easy enough for Donnie to say, Joe thought, as he flicked through the news channels trying to find a story that would hold his attention. Donnie didn't know what it was like trying to end a serious relationship, trying not to cause the other person more pain, he bailed out at the first hint of serious commitment.

Joe inhaled deeply, collecting his thoughts. It really didn't matter what Donnie did, he had to make Katherine listen. He muted the TV and made his way to the study where Kat had been holed up all morning. 'Kat, have you got a minute?'

She looked up from her laptop and closed the lid. 'I'm catching up on some stuff from work. Just some emails I didn't have time to answer.'

He nearly asked what kind of librarian took work home with them but she'd told him more than once her job involved far more than stacking shelves. Now wasn't the time to tease her. 'Will you be much longer, we need to talk.'

She momentarily closed her eyes. 'I've got a lot to catch up on, can you make it brief?'

He walked over to her and leaned against the desk. 'We need to postpone the wedding. We haven't even begun to put things right between us and you know it. You wouldn't have had that meltdown at counselling-'

'I did not have a meltdown!'

'You stormed out Kat,' Joe said trying to keep his voice gentle. 'That's not like you.'

'Do you blame me?' she asked resentfully.

'No, of course not but that's why we need to postpone the wedding,' he insisted, holding his breath.

'Not yet we don't,' she said jutting her jaw out. 'You're being premature, and the wedding is still months away.'

Joe let out a sigh. 'The longer we leave it the more disruptive it will be if we do wind up cancelling it. Deposits will be lost, people will have bought airline tickets, presents.'

'It's always about money with you.'

'That's easy to say when you're not the one who is paying for it,' he snapped and her cheeks flushed. 'And it's not my money I'm thinking of.' His parents were paying for the vast majority of the wedding, Adam would have a coronary when he found out it was all for nothing.

'Well, I never wanted to have a big wedding,' Katherine said through gritted teeth. 'And if we cancel now everyone is going to ask questions and the whole thing will escalate.'

'That's why we should postpone it, we can easily come up with an excuse,' Joe said hating that he was having to plead with her.

'In a few months time, we might regret postponing it.' However for all her words were optimistic Joe sensed she was coming around to his way of thinking.

'We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. In the meantime this will take the pressure off.' He looked at Kat expectantly and she gave a slight nod.

'I'll consider it,' she said her brows furrowing. 'Now can you let me finish answering these emails.'

~~~

Katherine opened her laptop as soon as Joe left the room, and turned her attention back to the email she'd been reading. The email from Clare. Her first instinct had been to delete it without replying but now she contemplated the words again.

Maybe you'd benefit from a counselling session by yourself, without your partner. It doesn't have to be with me, I can recommend a colleague if you'd prefer.

Katherine leaned forward, her chin resting in her hand. She'd been cursing Clare as an amateur, a fraud, but clearly the woman had seen straight through her and Joe. She knew their relationship was a mess, they were convincing no one.

She hated the thought of divulging all the details to a stranger, to anyone really, it would make the situation all the more real somehow. And yet her thoughts were driving her crazy, maybe it would help to talk to someone, and it wasn't like Clare would tell anyone. No one that mattered anyway, they had no connections. She'd done her research thoroughly before she'd contacted her in the first place.

She hit the reply button and hastily typed her thanks saying she would very much appreciate a counselling session by herself. What was the worst that could happen? She made a fool of herself in front of the woman already. It couldn't get worse than that.

~~~

'Hey, how have you been?' Kelly asked as Shannon opened her door to her.

'Okay, I guess,' Shannon said leading her into the kitchen. She put the bottle of wine Kelly was holding out to her into the fridge, and took out a bottle of white that was already chilled.

'You look kinda pale,' Kelly said while Shannon poured them both a drink. 'You need a spray tan.'

Shannon shook her head. 'It'll take more than a spray tan to sort me out,' she admitted. She was so fed up with waiting for Joe to call and then being disappointed when he did.

'Aww babe, is this about Joe?' Kelly asked giving her a quick hug. 'You've been through worse than this before now. Come on, this is the guy you dumped, dumped twice as it happens.'

Shannon gave a rueful laugh. 'He said he was going to finish with Katherine.' She'd never entirely believed him but she'd got her hopes up that somehow it would work out.

'They all say that.'

'I know, but I thought Joe was different.'

'You and every other mistress,' Kelly said giving her a knowing look.

Shannon's hackles went up but she knew Kelly had a point, she'd been so dumb. 'I'm a walking cliche,' she moaned dramatically and Kelly laughed.

'We've gotta get you back out there. How long is it since we had a girls night out? It's about time you let your hair down.'

'I guess,' Shannon said sipping her drink. It had been ages since she'd got dressed up and had fun with her girlfriends.

'So let's do it!' Kelly clinked her glass with Shannon's and she smiled back weakly. 'Is something wrong?'

Shannon sighed deeply, her shoulders sagging. 'Look at me, I look like shit! I've cut my hours down at Delta and a fat lot of good it's done. I'm tired all the time.'

Clearly looked at her more closely. 'Shan, you're probably a bit depressed. I mean look at what you went through last year, have you really put it behind you?'

Shannon winced at the reminder. She did her damnedest not to think of it, to think of what might have been.

'Actually, I thought I might have been pregnant,' she admitted swallowing hard. 'I've been feeling so lousy.' Kelly gaped at her. 'I'm not, I did a test last week but I was almost certain I was.'

'Shit,' Kelly said slowly her eyes wide. 'Thank god it was negative, you must be so relieved.'

Shannon shrugged, picking up her glass. 'I'm sorta disappointed as well. I do want to have a baby.'

'But now? With Joey?' Kelly asked her voice disbelieving. 'It would be the worst timing ever. I'm pretty sure the wedding is still on. Kat's not cancelled her hair and makeup although I guess she might not have got around to it.'

'The wedding probably is still on,' Shannon said looking down at her chipped nail polish. 'Joe's called a few times and every time he's made some dumb excuse as to why he hasn't dumped Katherine. I don't think he ever will.'

'Is that why you were hoping you'd be pregnant, cos then he would definitely dump her.'

'No, not really. I was just thinking about what might have been,' she said chewing her lip.

Kelly took a sip of wine, her eyes on Shannon. 'I'll tell you what might have been,' she said tilting her head to one side. 'You might have ended up being a single mom, and Joey might still have married Kat. Imagine handing your baby over to them every other weekend so they could play happy families with it. Kat would be its stepmom and you'd be miserable.'

'Well that would be if Joey stayed with Kat,' Shannon said idly running her finger around the edge of the glass.

'Okay, under those circumstances, I don't think he would stay with her,' Kelly conceded. 'But would you want him to be with you out of a sense of obligation.'

'No, you know I wouldn't,' Shannon said a little irritably. 'Why do you think I haven't been telling him to leave Katherine in the first place? It has to be his decision.'

'Don't be so passive, there is a middle ground.' Kelly reached for the bottle and topped both their glasses up. 'Telling him how you feel isn't putting pressure on him.'

'I'm not going to fight for Joe,' Shannon said stubbornly. 'I did that with Mark. I moved heaven and earth to make things work and look where it got me. He cheated with one of my best friends after I'd sacrificed our baby to try and save our relationship.' She would never make that mistake again.

'But deep down Joe wants you,' Kelly insisted. 'That's the difference. You have to give him a bit of encouragement, that's hardly moving heaven and earth.'

'Maybe,' Shannon said but she wasn't convinced. Joe knew her like no one else did but she also knew him. The sense of duty he'd feel to follow through on his commitment, his unwillingness to let his parents down, he wouldn't break an engagement lightly.

'There's no maybe about it,' Kelly said snapping her out of her reverie. 'You have to tell him before he goes ahead and sleepwalks into this marriage.'

Shannon bit her bottom lip avoiding Kelly's gaze. The thought of putting herself on the line again terrified her but she wasn't about to admit that. She picked her glass up taking a large sip before speaking. 'How about we plan that night out,' she said making her voice light. 'I could do with having some fun.'

~~~~

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