'Hey Donnie,' Joe said sitting down for a drink in O'Gradys. He was relieved to see a friendly face after the strain of the past few weeks. 'How've you been?'

Donnie shrugged, the low lighting masking his face. 'You know me, busy with work, busy with other things.'

Joe laughed. 'You don't change.'

'But you do.'

Joe narrowed his eyes, instantly on edge. 'What do you mean?'

'I never had you down as a cheat.'

Joe felt the colour leave his face. 'What are you talking about,' he muttered playing with a beer mat. 'I haven't cheated.'

Donnie scoffed. 'You never could lie, it's written all over your face.'

'Shit,' Joe said slowly taking a sip of his drink and avoiding Donnie's gaze. Shannon must have talked, she always was a blabbermouth.

'Yeah, it is shit Joe, to both of them,' Donnie said grim-faced while Joe wouldn't meet his eye.

'I know it's bad,' Joe finally said. 'I do love Kat but I think I love Shannon as well.' 

He let out a deep breath. There was definitely something there, he couldn't stop thinking about her.

'You can't love both of them,' Donnie snorted.

'Why not, people have open relationships?'

'But you're a one-woman man. You'd never be happy in that sorta relationship.'

Joe knew it was pointless arguing, Donnie couldn't tell him anything he hadn't already told himself. It might be a rare day when he set foot in a church but his beliefs had been well drilled into him. 'Look I do want to get married, that hasn't changed. I know you think Katherine's pushed for this but I want it too.'

Donnie shook his head. 'We're getting off the point. You've cheated on Kat, and you've used Shannon.'

'I haven't used her,' Joe snapped his heckles going up.

'No? So what is it?'

'I don't know what this is,' Joe admitted his thoughts flitting to Shannon in his arms. 'That night with Shan was great-'

Donnie groaned. 'Spare me the details.'

'No I meant it wasn't meaningless sex. But then I went home to Kat, and I love her....it's messed up cos I still love Shannon as well.' He was glad to finally admit it out loud.

Donnie looked sceptical. 'You loved Shannon when you were kids. Don't you think you're getting that all mixed up?'

'That's what I've been telling myself,' he said earnestly. 'What I feel for Shannon is sentimental, and what I feel for Kat is real nuts and bolts sorta love.'

'Nuts and bolts?' Donnie spluttered.

'I mean like the real deal, something you can build on.'

Katherine was his future, Shannon was simply fun.

'So are you gonna tell Kat?' Donnie asked.

'No way!' Joe couldn't believe he'd suggest it.

Donnie's mouth turned down. 'Don't you think that's unfair? She should go into this marriage with her eyes open.'

'But she'd be devasted.' And she'd probably dump him. If not the wedding would certainly be postponed.

'You should give her the choice,' Donnie said his tone disapproving. 'And what about Shannon? She's been through a hard time and you're trying to get her to fall for you again.'

'I'm not Donnie, I swear,' Joe insisted. 'I don't want to hurt either of them.' Donnie looked at him doubtfully, and Joe drained his glass giving him an excuse to go to the bar, ending the conversation.

~~~~

Katherine was having a hair and makeup trial, along with her friends Danielle and Eva.

'We figured we'd go out afterwards, show off your hard work,' Katherine said to Kelly trying to sound appreciative.

'Good idea,' Kelly said. 'Where do you fancy going?'

'What about that new cocktail bar that's opened?' Danielle suggested.

'Oh, you should try it. Me and my friend-' Kelly broke off for a moment as if she'd lost her train of thought. 'I went there with one of my girlfriends, we had such a good time.'

'Let's do that then,' Katherine said.

'Yeah you gotta drink while you can Kat,' Eva added. 'Once you're pregnant you won't be able to.' Katherine rolled her eyes but she had a point. Once she was married it was only a matter of time before she'd be expecting.

'Oh, are you planning to start a family right away?' Kelly asked in a voice that implied she was only being polite.

'Yeah I want to, and Joe's from a big family so I'm sure he'll want to crack on with it,' she laughed.

'You haven't discussed it?' Kelly asked.

'We both want kids, I think it's a given that once we're legal we'll get on with it.'

'God Kat you make it sound so dull,' Danielle said rolling her eyes. 'The trying's meant to be the fun part.'

'I didn't say it wouldn't be fun,' Katherine said as the bell went above the door. Kelly excused herself and Katherine looked over, her stomach sinking as she saw Shannon enter the premises. She strained to hear what they were saying, watching with dismay as Shannon took her coat off and hung it up. She guessed she was getting her roots done.

'Oh hello Katherine,' Shannon said as she passed by.

'Hi.' Katherine tried to keep her voice steady. She shouldn't be fazed by her presence, Shannon and Joe were supposed to be friends after all.

'I'm here for a facial, honestly, the in-flight air plays havoc with your skin,' Shannon said with a small laugh and Katherine made herself speak.

'I'm having my rehearsal makeover, so there are no nasty surprises on the wedding day.'

'There won't be,' Shannon said softly. 'It'll be perfect.' Katherine smiled at her as she was taken away but she felt a little perplexed.

'She seems nice Kat,' Eva whispered.

'That's what everyone says,' Katherine admitted.

'And you disagree?' Danielle probed.

'I don't know,' Katherine said keeping her voice low. 'I've not talked to her properly. From what I can see she's a nice girl, well Joe wouldn't have gone out with her if she wasn't.'

Danielle giggled. 'Men often go for the bad girls, don't be fooled by that.'

Katherine forced her face into a smile. 'Not Joe, if he says she's nice then she is. I wouldn't be half as worried if she wasn't.'

'What are you worried for?' Eva asked her brows furrowed. 'She's just some girl he dated when he was a kid.'

'It's not her exactly,' Katherine said uncertainly. 'But he's been acting sorta distant, and that's coincided with Shannon being back in town.'

'He's probably getting cold feet.'

'Gee thanks,' Katherine laughed.

'I don't mean about you, but men do get worried as the wedding day approaches, and now going on about having a baby, talk about upping the ante.'

'Yeah I guess you're right,' Katherine said. She had been a bit full on but that was more because she wanted to get on with their lives, she couldn't wait for the wedding to be over with.

~~~

Shannon was sat at home curled up with a glass of wine catching up on her TV shows. She had three days off and she intended to hibernate from the outside world. Kelly had excitedly relayed Katherine's baby plans to her and she was struggling not to dwell on it. It was none of her business. Joe was going to get married and he was going to have a baby. The baby part killed her as she thought about the baby she might have had.

Idly she logged onto Facebook, she was on every social media platform possible but she limited how often she looked at them these days. Seeing constant posts of people's perfect lives depressed her even though she knew how fake it all was. She downed the glass of wine feeling bitter. It had been so easy for Mark to move on; he had no regrets. A baby would have been a disaster to him, now he was off the hook.

Her phone rang and she saw it was Joe. Her heart fluttered and she knew she shouldn't answer but she did, she'd ignored enough of his calls.

'Hi Joey,' she said letting herself smile since he couldn't see her face.

'Hey you've finally answered,' he laughed.

'I've been busy.'

'Yeah getting facials,' Joe joked. 'Kat said she bumped into you?'

Her stomach knotted. 'That was kinda awkward but I always go to Kelly's place, she's my best friend.'

'I do know that. It's just an unfortunate coincidence she was recommended to Kat,' he said wearily.

'Yeah, I don't think she was too pleased to see me there.' The looks Katherine's friends had given her were frosty, to say the least.

'It's just one of those things. So how have you been? I heard you spoke to Donnie?'

She cringed. 'I'm sorry about that, I didn't mean to tell him,' she said feeling ashamed.

'No, it's my fault. I've put you in this position.'

She paused for a moment, her face flushing at the memory. 'I wish it had never happened.'

'Do you really?' Joe asked quickly. 'Cos I don't.'

She sighed deeply, a lie on the tip of her tongue. 'I don't know, I don't much like myself for doing that.' She'd never gone after another woman's man, she well remembered how it felt when Natalie did that to her. Because deep down she knew Natalie must have been making moves on Mark before they had finally split up.

'You sound really down Shan,' Joe said and she weakened at his words. 'I hope it's not cos of me.'

'It's not just you.'

Not entirely.

'So what is it?' he asked. 'You can tell me.'

She bit her bottom lip. 'You'll hate me if I tell you...'

'Shannon I could never hate you,' he insisted, and she bit her lip even harder although he couldn't see the tears in her eyes.

'I heard you and Kat are going to have a baby,' she murmured. 'It's just brought it all back to me because I could have had a baby.'

There was silence on the line.

'Shannon I'm not quite following,' Joe said hesitantly.

She swallowed hard. 'I had an abortion last year. That's why I split up with Mark, my ex, cos he didn't want kids. After that, I couldn't forgive him.'

'He made you have an abortion?' She could hear the shock in his voice.

'He made it my least worst option,' she said trying to keep her voice steady. 'Logically it was the right thing to do, but when I hear other people making baby plans, and I'm about as far away from that as you could get....' She didn't continue, other people she could handle, it was hearing he'd soon have his own child that really hurt.

'Shannon I'm so sorry that happened,' Joe said and she was relieved he wasn't criticising her.

She let out a deep breath. 'Oh, I'm just wallowing in self-pity.'

'No that's understandable, I hate to think of you going through that.' She stayed silent not wanting to get into all the details.

'Well it's done with now,' she said trying to sound breezy.

'How about we meet up for coffee sometime, as friends?' She considered for a moment, coffee sounded safe enough, caffeine wasn't on a par with alcohol.

'Come on Shannon,' he said when she hesitated. 'It's just coffee, and I'd hate it if we couldn't be friends. I mean how dumb is that when Kat's practically friends with your friends now.'

'Yeah, I guess,' she said letting him persuade her. It made sense to clear the air properly and draw a line under what had happened.

~~~~

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