Chapter 23: The Voices in Violet's Head

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Shocked, Ethan grasped the hilt of his fadeblade with both hands and held it up just in time to catch Neil's sword with his own. The blades hissed like bacon on a frying pan.

"Hey!" Ethan shouted. "What the hell?"

Neil took a half-step back, pulling his fadeblade into the air and tearing it downward. Ethan found it difficult to look directly at the dizzying blade, but he managed to swipe it away with his own sword, sending it streaming down past his shoulders and nearly into the floor.

"Come on!" he gasped, but Neil only advanced for another attack.

A quick swipe from the side, parried at the last minute, then another diagonal slash, narrowly dodged. Ethan could remember recesses playing at sword fighting with childhood friends, but this wasn't the same. Neil wasn't aiming for Ethan's sword; he was trying to sweep aside his defense in order to go for the killing blow. Or fading blow, in this case.

Face like stone, Neil advanced slowly, free hand held behind his back while his other sent a flurry of slashes directly at Ethan. Ethan back-stepped with every other strike, his heartbeat pounding in his ears even though he knew his heart was in his bedroom several blocks away.

Unable to continue his defense, and running out of hallway space to back into, Ethan grew frustrated. He slapped Neil's next attack with a great, two-handed swing, nearly tearing the fadeblade from Neil's grip.

Before Neil could bring his sword back in time to defend, Ethan had his weapon inches from Neil's pale throat. Neil stopped dead, icy blue eyes staring down nervously at the warbling nothingness of Ethan's blade.

"Okay," Neil gasped. "Guess you've figured out your stance."

Ethan relaxed, pulling the weapon away from Neil. He realized he was holding the fadeblade much the same way as he started, with legs spread and two hands on the hilt. Samurai style.

"Easier to figure out when you just fall into it," said Neil, panting. He then stopped panting abruptly, saying, "Man, the things your projection does even though it doesn't have to. Look at you, you're sweating. And me, gasping and puffing. It's all in our heads, right. Our bodies are the ones worked up; our projections don't need to be. But you forget that when your survival instinct is in gear. Thanks for not fading me, by the way."

"Likewise," muttered Ethan as he made a conscious effort not to pant from the exertion. "Though you could have warned me you were going to do that."

Neil shrugged. "Then you would have consciously tried to use a stance that didn't work for your fighting style. Whatever your instinct tells you to do is what we're going to have to go with for now."

"And you were telling me to be careful. Sheesh, you could've got us both faded."

Neil laughed. "It worked out. Anyway, let's practice for a bit more and then we'll head over to Violet's."



They were more careful as they sparred this time, ensuring not to accidentally hit a hand or arm in an overly-enthusiastic swing. For a scrawny nerd, Neil could outpace Ethan at every turn, dodging and parrying and striking without a second thought. He gave Ethan a few basic pointers, but assured him that sword fighting among psychics was rare, and mostly only occurred during leisurely sparring.

He mentioned that rogue projections sometimes carried fadeblades, and psychics would have to fade them in order to stop them. Even Scrubbers carried fadeblades. Their memory-erasing power was more powerful than a fade, but it took time. Sometimes a quick fix with a sword slash bought time enough for them to do their real work.

After an hour, Ethan and Neil decided to make their way to Violet's to relieve Pryce and Kara of guard duty. Neil checked his phone in the real world while maintaining his projection, which impressed Ethan. He couldn't imagine being able to keep his astral projection in the Worldmind while his real self took over, but he supposed he wasn't nearly as experienced as Neil was.

Neil's projection looked vacant while Neil retreated to the real world. A moment later, he blinked and seemed to come out of a trance.

"No texts," he said. "Guess things are going fine."

"Cool. So how are we getting to Violet's? Obviously we can't march over there in the real world. Two dudes showing up and asking to stay until after midnight might not go over so well."

Neil smirked. "Agreed. We'll have to walk there in the Worldmind, since you haven't been anywhere near there yet."

"Right. I guess you could probably just project straight there if you wanted, huh?"

"Close to it, anyway. I've never been in her house, so not straight there."

Man, Ethan thought, sneaking into Violet's bedroom in the middle of the night to save her from a nightmare man? Maybe you should project shining armor on yourself while you're at it, Murdock.

The two of them exited the school and began the trek to Violet's house. According to Neil, it would be a lengthy walk, but nothing they couldn't handle. They'd still get there well before midnight. He advised Ethan to get a good feel for Worldmind-Shirewood, since he would probably be projecting all over it in the future.

Ethan took the advice, absorbing the sights and sounds as they walked down the sidewalk. He wondered if the cars that faded in and out along the street could run him over. Neil told him that they could, if he thought they could. A moment later, he was elbowed by the fading memory of a pedestrian passing them on the sidewalk.

"See?" said Neil.

From then on, Ethan tried to imagine the pedestrians as ghosts, things he couldn't touch, that couldn't hurt him. He deliberately walked into every pedestrian they came across, trying to let it pass through him harmlessly. It was harder than it seemed. Even though the memories looked ghostly, he couldn't help bracing himself for impact every time he ran into one, which inevitably made him feel the collision.

It wasn't until a memory-pedestrian on a bicycle zipped right through him from behind that he even believed it was possible not to feel one.

"It's because you didn't see it coming," Neil explained. "Your mind didn't need to try to protect itself because you weren't aware there was anything to hit you in the first place. Trying to consciously project that state of mind is very difficult."

With that said, a pedestrian strolled right through Neil from in front of him without the two of them colliding.

Ethan glared at Neil.

"What?" said Neil, suppressing a grin. "I didn't say it was impossible. All it takes is practice."

Despite the 45-minute walk, Ethan never once got it to work. By the time they reached Violet's house, he was feeling bruised and grumpy.

"Disbelieving everything your instincts tell you to believe isn't an easy task, dude," Neil said. "Took me over a year to even start to get the hang of it. And your instinct can protect you from a lot in this place."

Violet's house was much larger than Uncle Vic's. It was nestled in a cul-de-sac of equally large houses, in what seemed to be the more affluent side of Shirewood. Ethan wondered if Violet had any siblings or other family living with her and her parents to justify all that room. The house was two stories high, with patterned windows and sky blue paint that only occasionally shifted to sea green.

"Time to break and enter," muttered Ethan as he and Neil approached the front door. He wanted to knock first, but realized how stupid that would be. So he turned the handle and pushed. The door didn't budge. "It's locked," he said.

"It's not locked," said Neil in exasperation. He nudged Ethan aside, carefully avoiding the fadeblade in his other hand, and turned the handle. The door opened wide. "You just think it is, because you're nervous about walking into a random house."

Ethan knew that his beliefs would affect how he interacted with the Worldmind, but every time it happened he was surprised. It would take time to learn how to actively deny what came naturally to his mind.

"After you," said Neil, holding the door open so that it wouldn't close on them.

Ethan rolled his eyes and stepped through the threshold.

Violet's home was well-furnished and cozy, and certainly more spacious than Vic's place. The front door opened into a short hallway that led into what looked to be the living room. The fireplace in the corner was dark and empty one moment, then glowing with a warm fire the next. The floors were lacquered wood panels, shifting slightly in color but not in any other way. Children's toys--cars, robots, dolls--shifted around various spots on the floor.

Neil whistled. "Nice place."

Next to the living room was the kitchen, smelling of home-cooked meals. Each whiff Ethan took smelled different than the last, but it was always pleasant. It made his stomach growl. Or he thought it did, anyway, which was a good enough reason for it to be true.

"Found the stairs," said Neil. "Violet's room's probably up here."

Shaking off the desire to explore, Ethan followed Neil to the next floor. He could hear faint laughter coming from somewhere, or nowhere. Distant conversations. The memories of happy evenings with the family.

Ethan tried to remember the last happy evening he had with his family. Nothing came to him from the past few years--but then, his parents hadn't been together for some time. He did recall one Christmas when he was ten or eleven, opening presents and drinking hot chocolate under the Christmas tree. His mom and dad were sitting on the sofa, watching him open his gifts. They had matching Tigger from Winnie the Pooh slippers on their feet, a gift they opened together from Santa. His mom was playfully scolding his dad for secretly buying Ethan a video game. His dad wrapped his arms around his mother's shoulders in a sideways bear hug, apologizing dramatically and asking if she could ever forgive him. She giggled and declined, pulling her head away futilely from a big kiss on the cheek. Ethan said she should forgive him. She did.

It was a happy memory, but given that it was the only one he had of his family for five or six years, it made him bitter.

You can't be mad at Violet for having a big, happy family, Murdock. Lots of people do. Lots of people don't. Get over it and move on.

Every once in awhile, his brain gave him good advice.

"Kara?" Neil called as he and Ethan ascended the stairs. "Pryce? You guys up here?"

The second floor was a hallway with several doors on either side, shifting between being open and closed. They walked through and peeked into the different rooms as they went. One held a bunk bed and countless toys blinking around the floor, one had a particularly large bed, one was the bathroom, and the final one was filled with clothes that shifted color and shape to the point where it looked like the ground was made of snakes. Definitely a teenager's room.

"Shhh," said a voice just inside the bedroom.

Neil cautiously peeked through the door, Ethan right behind him. Pryce and Kara were in the room, holding fingers to their lips.

Neil shrugged and rose his hands in a silent question. Pryce spread his arms around, as though the room itself were the answer. Neil tilted his head back, a small "o" on his mouth. He then beckoned the two of them out of the room.

When they were all in the hallway, Ethan whispered, "What are we being so quiet for? We're the only ones here."

"Shh!" said Kara. Then she whispered, "Violet's still latent, right?"

"So?" said Ethan just as quietly.

"She's still psychic, genius," Pryce drawled. "She can hear us talking, assuming her brain's somewhere close by. Don't you think voices coming from nowhere would kind of freak her out?"

Once again, Pryce was a jerk, but he had a point.

"She knows about astral projections and the Worldmind and everything, though," Ethan said. "We could probably explain to her that we're here. Just so she knows she's not alone when the dream man comes."

"Be my guest," said Neil. "I'm partial to freaking her out, myself."

"What's your problem with her, anyway?" Ethan asked, loudly enough that the three others shushed him. "Sorry. But seriously, she's nice. Can you really blame her for not believing your crackpot dream man stuff?"

"She's not nice," said Neil bitterly. "She thinks she's better than everyone because she's got her life all figured out. She doesn't give a crap how other people feel, but I guess that makes her the perfect journalist. Some people don't want stories published about them in the school paper that'll make them a laughing stock until graduation. But whatever looks good on a resume is worth it, right?" He shook his head in disgust. "She's always been mean. Rude. Self-centered. I've known her since Jr. High; she'll never change."

Is she really that bad? She's been nothing but cool to me.

Before Ethan could argue, something appeared on the door, which was currently closed. A sticky note, it looked like. On it, written in big blocky black letters, were the words SCREW YOU NEIL.

"What the hell?" said Pryce.

"Guess she heard us," said Kara, stifling a giggle.

The piece of paper faded in and out of view, but it seemed Violet wrote the message and pinned it to the door. She must have been able to hear where the conversation was coming from, and figured that putting up a note in the real world and committing it to memory would be the only way to send a message to someone in the Worldmind.

"Well," said Ethan, slapping a bemused Neil on the back, "you can't say she's not clever."

Neil pressed his lips closed and opened the door to the bedroom, leading everyone in.

"Okay," he said to the air, "I guess you noticed our presence. You can't see us because you don't have an astral projection in the Worldmind. You can hear us, however, because the part of your mind that is in tune with the Worldmind is able to pick up projected messages.

"Point is, we're obviously here, and we'll wait until midnight for the dream man to show up. There are four of us--I don't know if you know the other two besides me and Ethan, but they're here to help."

"She knows me," said Kara in a small voice.

"Right. Yeah. Look, Violet, don't leave your room until after midnight. I know it's probably hard for a popular girl like you to not go out on a Saturday night, but them's the breaks. Let me know if you understand."

After a moment, another sticky note appeared, this time stuck to the bedroom wall. It read, ETHAN, SLAP HIM FOR ME.

Ethan grinned and glanced at Neil. Neil narrowed his eyes and rose his fadeblade defensively.

"Ha-ha," said Neil humorlessly. "Enjoy having several voices in your head for a couple hours, Miss Lane."

"If we tell you you have an active imagination, it'll be like the regular voices in your head, right?" said Ethan, grinning.

A moment later, another note. THANKS FOR HELPING ME OUT, it said. Ethan wanted to think it was directed to him, specifically.

"You bet," he said, ignoring Neil's rolling eyes.

"Why does Ethan have a fadeblade?" Pryce asked. Ethan almost forgot he had it. "I don't even get to use those things. How the hell did you get Staf--" he paused, considering who was listening. Then he said, "How did you get you-know-who to sign off on that?"

Neil was silent.

Pryce raised his eyebrows. "She doesn't know, does she."

"We don't have the time to explain it to her," said Neil, but he didn't sound very convincing.

Kara marched up to Neil and buried her finger into his scrawny chest. "I told you to unfade the dream man memories from her!" She jabbed him several more times, saying, "You said you'd talk to her! You said you were going to get her back up to speed first thing in the morning. You didn't, did you? You wanted to solve the mystery on your own, you selfish ass!"

Another note went up on the wall, this one reading, OH SNAP. Then, GO KARA.

Ethan smirked.

"I'm going to call her," said Kara threateningly.

"No, Kara, not tonight," said Neil. "I'll talk to her tomorrow, okay? I'll tell her everything; I promise. But it's been a crazy day, and you know that trying to refresh her memories of the dream man would take several hours at least. If the rogue projection is still out there, tonight might be our only shot at finding out who he is."

Kara gave Neil a poisonous look that was surprisingly intimidating for such a tiny blonde girl. Despite Neil being armed and almost a full head taller, he leaned back away from her, his shoulders tucked in defensively. He held his fadeblade reverse-handled so the blade pointed harmlessly behind his back. His glasses fogged up, but he shook his head and the fog disappeared as if by magic.

Must have realized that the fog was just in his mind, Ethan thought. It was comforting to know that even Neil was capable of allowing those silly unconscious concerns to become reality.

After a long staring contest, Kara said, "Fine. I'll go with you tomorrow when you see her."

Neil's face sank.

"Hate to break up this catfight," said Pryce, "but I'm literally dying of starvation over here. We've been sitting in here for hours, and I haven't eaten since noon. Are you two taking over our shifts or what?"

Sighing, Neil said, "Sure, sure. Thanks for looking after things."

"We can come back by midnight," said Kara, but Pryce didn't look like he was interested.

"Forget it," he said. "There's going to be four projections in this bedroom, two of which have fadeblades. We'd just get in the way. Probably end up faded ourselves."

Kara bit her lip.

"He's right," said Neil. "I appreciate the thought, but we'll only have a minute to get answers from the rogue projection. The fewer people we have freaking him out and asking different questions, the better. We'll be fine."

"Text me just after midnight," said Kara. "If you don't, I'm going to project straight here. Got it?"

Neil attempted to look solemn, but Ethan could tell he was touched that Kara cared.

"Got it," he said, the smile more on his eyes than his mouth.

Kara maintained a serious expression, her eyes locked on Neil's. She then nodded, and vanished from the Worldmind. Pryce gave Neil a level look, then vanished himself.

"Seriously," said Ethan. "What's up with you three?"

Yet another note: I WANT TO KNOW TOO.

Neil pinched the bridge of his nose and grumbled.

"Like I'm going to discuss it right now, with a dude I barely know and a girl I hate eavesdropping on the whole thing, while we wait for a murderous astral projection to arrive. Can we agree that now isn't the time for this?"

NO FUN, said the next note.

"I would have been much happier passing this time without Violet being able to send messages to us," Neil said under his breath.

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