Swipe. Fingerprint. Pull down the notification bar. Lock.

I've been repeating the same thing for the past one hour. Ayansh has not replied to my texts and he didn't even come online on WhatsApp since this morning. I called him in the afternoon and that wasn't answered as well.

He's usually like this on busy days as far as I've noted, except he always calls back in an hour. Or comes home early to apologize for ignoring and do something romantic. Of course, I don't expect those out of him. But it feels so fishy today that he isn't here yet and it's one hour past his working hours. He must be really caught up in his work. One week of holidays does that to your work zone.

I sigh as I glance at the grandfather clock in the hall. The grudge metallic needles point a sharp 6:45 against the shine of the rustic gold disk as the pendulum below it swish left and right at timely intervals. A sense of disappointment settles in as I realize that I have to get my first ultrasound done without Ayansh. I already called up and shifted the 4 PM appointment twice, hoping he'd come home by then but 7 was the last slot they gave me and the hospital was to go under maintenance the following week after today. I try calling him one more time, but this time, it says the phone is switched off.

Is something actually wrong?

I push that thought no sooner than it enters my mind. It is just work stress, I know it. Even my phone call to his PA Jogi after Ayansh didn't pick up this afternoon confirms it. He was talking in a rushed tone and he said Ayansh would be home soon.

But he isn't home. Even one hour past six.

I stand up, brushing my hair one last time and getting out to hail a cab to the hospital. I can't drive in the mood and condition I am in.

As I get in the cab a few minutes later, I call Jogi once more. The call rings for a while and to my absolute shock, he cuts off my call. What the heck? I get pissed off beyond limit as I decide not to call either of them till he reaches home himself. There is only so much I can do.

I reach St. Mary's Memorial hospital within time and directly walk past all the sectors to the gynecological section. Dr. Sarah Jane is there to greet me.

"Took your time, didn't you, Mrs. Mishra?" She asks, playful anger in her tone. I flash a fake smile to her as I sit in the chair.

"Isn't Mr. Mishra here? I thought the time shift was for him," she says as she looks at the doorway.

"He's caught at work, apparently. So it's just me," the sting in my words wound myself. It's just me like it's supposed to be.

"Oh, that's why I'm getting this vibe from you. Pity." She tsks like it's any of her business. When I say nothing, she gets back to what her actual business is and asks me to change into a medical robe.

When I'm changed, she takes me to the ultrasound table and I wordlessly lie on it. The plain white of the room's ceiling gives me a weird sense of anxiety. In the zoned out state, I partially notice the ultrasound machine come to life and the transducer connect to the machine. Dr. Jane sits in the chair next to the machine as she slowly covers my lower body with a linen cover that she pulls with her gloved hands. Then she opens my robe in my abdominal region.

"This can feel a little ticklish. I'm going to apply the acoustic gel here, okay?" She says as she takes the bottle in her hand. I nod, not trusting my voice.

The warm gel falls in my lower abdomen, below the belly button and my stomach goes inwards on its own. It's happening, it's going to happen. I'm going to see my baby in a few minutes.

"Hey, it's going to be okay, alright?" Dr. Jane tells as she notices my sudden action. "I know it can feel extremely jittery the first time you see the baby, but it's just one picture. Okay? Just a little pea sized fetus' picture."

I smile when I hear the word pea. He or she is just the size of a pea. Nothing can happen to Pea. Right?

The transducer's end is placed above the gel as she manipulates it on my body and works a few handles in the machine. She then uses her left hand to turn the monitor towards me. My breathing quickens as I look at the screen.

She doesn't have to point on the screen for me to identify the fetus. My Pea. It stands out bright and beautiful. Suddenly, an image flashes in my mind: of Ayansh holding the baby, not bigger than half his arm, both smiling at me as Ayansh looks at me and the baby back to back as if to find similarities. But all I see is Ayansh in the baby.

Uncontrollable tears sprinkle from my eyes as my lips play into a trembling smile. I'd kill for a life like that.

"There's your little baby, Mrs. Mishra. I think we can have the heartbeat check next week along with Mr. Mishra. It's much more exciting and I'm sure he wouldn't want to miss it." The doctor smiles at me as she gets up and walks out to get me the ultrasound pictures. I sit up on the table and walk over to clean myself and get back into the dress.

In twenty minutes, I have three copies of Pea's first photograph in my hand as I walk out of the hospital. I have half the mind to go home with this, but there's a little heaviness in my heart that feels like Ayansh would feel too bad to have missed this. That he didn't stand me up intentionally.

So I take a cab to Ayansh's office to show him the pictures. It's been a while since I went there but I'm sure he'd love to see me. Especially with these lovely pictures of Pea. A sense of euphoria washes over me. Is this the happiness the world talks about?

The passage of time is quick as the cab drops me off at Mishra Finances Ltd. I didn't know what to expect in the building after hours, but my stomach drops as I see a police vehicle in the front.

My mind reels a thousand different ideas as I walk to the lift and press to Ayansh's floor. The one-minute ride to there is a torture in and itself. As soon as the lift opens, the whole floor of chaos unveils in front of me. Cops here and there, office members near them answering questions, phones ringing on and off. My heartbeat is beyond control now as I force my shaky legs to walk.

"Oye, who are you, Madam? This, restricted area. Go out," a short cop with a protruding belly jumps in front of me and orders in broken English. I take a fearful step back and put my hands in front of me.

"Officer! She's family, let her in," I hear Jogi's voice to my relief. He walks from behind the cop and takes hold of my hand.

"Who she?" The cop asks before Jogi could whisk me away.

"She's Ayansh's wife. I'll talk to her privately before you can talk to her." Without waiting for his reply, Jogi drags me - softly, though - to a far corner of the floor.

"What's happening here, Jogi? Where's Ayansh? Why are there so many cops here?" I bombard him with questions just so as to make the crazy questions in my head stop.

Jogi sighs as she places a hand on his hip. His eyes look tired and his body language shows defeat.

"I tried really hard to end this all before it comes to you. But I guess things have gone out of hand now." He says as he faces the glass walls, looking at the night Mumbai outside. He closes his eyes as I imagine his mind reeling in a thousand different feelings.

"You're scaring me, Jogi. What happened to Ayansh?" I ask, immediately regretting it. Why am I so sure something did happen to him?

He turns to face me, and he throws a grand nuclear bomb at me. "Ayansh has gone missing from the morning."

***
The end of