Ayansh • 13

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Hansika.

It's the first thought that enters my mind. I don't quite know if the thought cleared the fog in my head or I acquired it as the clearing happened. All I know is her name.

And pain. The cold floor is a strange press of relief against my stomach, but I know I can't move. There are still some stamps of dirt from their shoes that are stuck on my shirt. They didn't even use their fists. It was all kicks, smashes and then one huge rod.

Only one of my eyes is fully open, and I can feel the swell on the other. My hand goes to the back of my head, rubbing the dull throb. I don't feel any wetness - or dryness for that fact, so there's no blood.

Hansika. My thoughts revert back to her. I have to find her.

Placing both my arms firmly on the ground, I try to exert force on them to get me up. But they shake from just minimal pressure and I slip to the ground again, whimpering. There's no life in my legs, I don't feel them at all.

Okay, deep breaths. Try number two. I silently pray my thanks that I see no goon in the room.

Letting out a soundless groan, I grit my teeth and prop my body to get on my knees. Harsh breaths rush out of my mouth as I feel my knees crying out from the pressure. They didn't let any part of my body escape from pain.

I look around the room. There's nothing much around except... Equipment. Equipments that are used to abuse and kill. Bamboo sticks, wooden sticks, guns and knives. I crawl to the knives, my lower legs finally feeling life and adding to my pain.

There's a small pocket knife among the sets of knives. I grab it, my fingers cramping in the process. I work the kinks out of my fingers on my thigh and open the knife. It's rusty on one side, the brown-red particles stuck brightly there. The other end is the sharper end, and I feel it on the pad of my fingers. Just a little pressure could draw blood out. I quickly pocket it.

The walls of this large room are vastly unkempt, mould - infested and web - ridden. But, they're my only supporting factor as I try to get on my feet. I feel all the parts and muscles in my body I've never felt before. And they're all screaming from pain. My lips finally give out as I let out a moan of pain.

Good news is that I'm up now. Thank you, God. Hands never leaving the wall, I walk in baby steps, dragging my dead left leg. As I drag my hands along the wall, I suddenly feel a doorknob. But this isn't the main door. I see the main door right in front of me. As I turn to the side, I see the small door. It's almost invisible, having the same color as the walls and badly covered in ages of dirt.

Maybe Hansika's in there. I hope she's in there. The door knob gives in with a squeak when it's twisted.

I stumble inside, my feet ready to give any damn second. The room is dimly lit, and the realization of time dawns on me. Guessing by the distant sounds of the sea shore and the silence of the atmosphere, it's probably past sunset. My eyes (or eye) still don't provide a good vision, but I manage to spot Hansika.

Sprawled across the cold floor, one hand on her stomach. Bare stomach. Her top is flipped over her chest, her pant is loosened around her waist, almost touching her thighs. My stomach twists.

I limp towards her and fall at her feet, deliberately. She's knocked out cold, only bare signs of breathing there to mark her alive. There's a heavy sinking feel in my chest as I softly touch her toes. My tears fall on them, and her immediate instincts are to kick out. If my heart wasn't already breaking, it is now.

"Han - " I cough, my throat closing down from being too dry. "Hansika, it's me. Ayansh."

She immediately jolts up, groaning in pain. My hands go to her arms, carefully letting her settle against the walls.

"Ayansh..." Her throat is completely gone, only a hollow sound coming out. And then, I see it. The distinct marks on her throat. My fist closes down with a force I didn't know I could bring out of me.

"Did Anirudh - "

"Stop." She coughs, doubling over. I hold her shoulders, making her rest again.

"Ayansh, Anirudh did everything you have in your mind and more," Hansika says through the bare breaths she's taking.

My limbs twitch as I feel my blood boiling. How dare he hurt her? How dare he -

Hansika touches my face. It's the softest touch ever, like feather touching the outer surface of a bubble filament. I feel her thumb go over a bruise, but I don't wince. It's physically impossible for me to flinch at her touch.

"Hurts?" Concern is dripping in her uncleared voice.

I smile weakly and shake my head. "I'm fine, Hansika."

She smiles back, the stretch of her lips making the bloody wounds shine in the dim light. "Liar."

"Can I touch you?" I ask her. Her eyes glisten a little all of a sudden as her chest heaves. She just nods her affirmation, softly rubbing my ear.

My hand hesitantly goes to her lips, touching the wound. She doesn't wince, just like I never did, but I can see her neck strain from trying so hard. I shake my head.

"Why are we like this?"

She soundlessly laughs at that, shrugging her reply. And then, in an effortless action, she scooches to the side and motions for me to sit next to her. When I do, resting my back on the wall just like her, she rests her head on my shoulder. I sigh.

"You need to go, Ayansh. I can't have you go through this."

My shoulders turn rigid. She feels it as well.

"That's my line, Hansika. You're not supposed to steal my line."

"Ayansh," she sighs. "Anirudh and I... This is normal between us. There's no reason for me to get out of this."

My heart feels like it's about to burst out. "H - how..." My voice shakes. "How can you say that? You have me! You have... Our baby!"

The look on her face tells me how tired she has grown of life. Her next words shake my entire life.

"What baby, Ayansh? The one Anirudh has killed already?"

Air gets clogged in my lungs, my ears close, eyes bulge out and blood stops to flow inside my veins for a second.

He killed my baby.

Rage explodes in every cell of my body as I hold the walls and begin to get up. I need to see him. I need to... Kill him.

Only, Hansika's hands immediately wrap around my legs. She rests her face on my bad knee, letting out soft sobs.

"Hansika..."

"I used to feel a buzz inside me, Ayansh. That was Pea. Telling me that they're still inside. But, when I woke up just now, I didn't feel it. There's only the weight. Dead..." Her lips quiver. "Weight."

I slip down on my knees again and engulf her in my arms. She collapses on my chest, making my heart crush further. I let my tears out silently, rocking her back and forth. Her hands sneak to my thighs, resting there. She's resting right on top of the pocket knife. Her face parts from my chest as she toys with the outline of the knife.

"What's that?" She asks.

I take the pocket knife and show her. She gasps and takes it from my hand. There's a small flame in her eyes as she opens it.

"Rusty." She marks.

I nod. "And pretty sharp." I take her other hand. "I want you to have it."

She raises her eyebrows, looking at me. I reinforce with a nod.

"I don't think I have it in me to - " I place my index finger on her lips to silence her.

"Just keep it." I close the knife for her and enclose it in her hands. She just nods, her hands slipping to her belly. When my eyes follow them, it falls on her pants.

Red.

"Hansika! You're bleeding!" The blood begins to pool from under her.

When I look at her face, she's long gone into darkness.

***

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