CHAP-35 HER PAST

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Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu.....

(ALLAH DOESN'T DESIRE TO PUT ON YOU ANY DIFFICULTY, BUT HE WISHES TO PURIFY YOU AND THAT HE MAY COMPLETE HIS FAVOUR ON YOU, SO THAT YOU MAY BE GRATEFUL) HOLY QURAN 5:6....

...........................................................

He groaned, when the sun rays were disturbing his calm sleep! slowly, he opened his eyes only to meet with an angelic face! sleeping peacefully in his arms snuggling into him deeper! he put his hands above her to prevent the sun rays disturb her sleep! and he slept peacefully, after a long time, a smile crept on his face, he kissed her cheeks softly that he didn't want to wake her up....

He was stuck between hurt and love! neither he can stay away nor he can come close! he was torn between his emotions, but he has to do it.. because he can't handle another heartbreak....

He wants assurance from her! because, life will surely throw more difficulties on their way! what is the guarantee? that, she'll not shut him down from her life, like she did! he wants his answers, until he gets them.. he won't let his grudge go...

He detached himself slowly, then he pulled the curtains to block the rays disturbing her sleep, after completing his business in the bathroom, he went downstairs, he made himself a strong black Americano after drinking his bitter coffee, he locked himself in his study....

He was completing all the pending work, which he ditched for the entire week while grieving in pain, that he forgot that, he got an empire to run!!....

Thankfully, Zaid and Haan handled it well, till he gets back to his holdings and he had a killer match tomorrow night and still, he was not well enough to handle a brutal fight....

She woke up, when she felt the bed empty and asfa felt sad that humza was not there beside her, she took a warm shower and got ready she descended down and she saw an empty penthouse! he was no where to be found...

She hated it, when he act cold towards her, but he was not at fault! because she awaken this side of him, she sighed and made her way towards the kitchen, she made French toast and latte for herself, she felt a lot dizzy now a days! she forgot to took her vitamins tablet, she silently ate her breakfast, then gulped down her medics....

She heard noises from Humza's study and she felt relief washing over her, she quickly knocked at the his door but no reply came, she entered his study and placed his breakfast on his desk but he didn't spare her a glance, he acted like nothing happened between them last night! now he treated her like she didn't even exist here ....

"have your breakfast, then Pls eat the medicines! you're not fully healed yet! " she pleaded....

He didn't reply, instead he furiously typed on his iPad...

"I know you're angry at me! but don't waste food Pls! " she again pleaded, guiltyly....

When again she didn't received any reply from him, she left from there while tears welled her eyes and she wiped it....

"you deserve it asfa! you deserve this! because you didn't care first and now you're regretting it! " she mumbled with broken voice...

He heard it and he wished to knock himself down so hard! he didn't want her to feel guilty, but just to open up to him! then he stared at the food which she made for him, without any second thoughts! he finished it in no time, because his wifey is the best cook in the world...

She started doing her work in her MacBook and Rey was instructing her about their new deal, which they made with the edrees empire and it was a big deal for the hannan's, she kept herself busy to avoid sulking and crying about her stupidity....

She wanted to open up to him, but deep down she knew it! was hard very hard for her....

It was night time and she found a duvet on her and she didn't remember putting a duvet on herself and her MacBook was closed, her specs where placed on the coffee table, she grinned! because it was Humza, who had done all this! she was happy that he's just pretending to not care about her, but he does anyway....

She was smiling like a mad person, the whole time but her smile faded when she heard noises from the gym and she was hella angry! he was still hurt and here he was again punishing himself....

She walked towards their gym angrily and he was practicing in the ring

Now she was clear! why he had a ring in his gym? but she was glaring at him! he was wincing while he makes every move, but he kept on punching in air...

"what are you doing here? " her voice boomed, in the gym...

Humza spun around to see the owner of the voice and he met with a furious lioness "it's non of your concern! " he growled, like a maniac...

She flinched at his tone, but she never surrendered she remained tough...

"it's my concern and you're not healed yet, so Pls don't hurt yourself more! " she said, climbing the ring....

He liked her whenever she becomes bossy on him! but now it pissed him more, he looked murderous with rage....

"I don't need your pity just leave me alone! " he yelled, with rage....

She was taken a back at his tone, tears were threatening to fall from her eyes and he was breaking inside seeing tears in her eyes but instead he left from there and straight went to bed, he tore the tees and throw it in the corner, that he was wearing...

He closed his eyes but her crying face was in front of him, he was mad at himself, he just wished nothing should've happened between them, then they'll be the happiest couple by now, but things don't happen according to our desire....

She followed him, because she feared that he'll hurt himself but when she saw him lying on the bed! she too changed and joined him on the bed, and after sometime she felt his calm breathing, once she confirmed that he was asleep! she scooted closer to him slowly like a turtle and she quickly put her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around his torso...

She kissed his heart " I wish! I overcame my fear! then this wouldn't have happened, I never wished to hurt you ever but I ended up doing it! because, I'm always like this! I don't want to hurt anyone but I ended up hurting them deeply, I'm so sorry! Pls forgive me! I love you so much! " she said, while tears ran freely wetting his chest....

She closed her eyes listening to his heartbeat, while stifling her sobs and after sometime sleep kicked in her system, but he was awake all the time! he was gritting his teeth hearing her broken voice, it was the last thing he wanted her to be broken! he felt like someone stabbed him, when her tears wetted his chest! he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him! he kissed her hair, he wiped her cheeks with the back of his hands she looked so vulnerable! he couldn't control himself and pecked her lips then slept inhaling her lavender scent which always soothes him....

"nooooooooooooo!" she shrieked and gripped the bed cover tightly, she was again having her nightmare! he jerked woke up seeing his wifey having nightmares....

Beads of sweat formed on her forehead and she was gritting her teeth...

"hey it's just a nightmare, woke up love! " he tapped her face while shaking her,

"just open your eyes it'll be gone "she opened her eyes slowly and tears ran freely in her cheeks,when she saw him worried her control Broke,she hugged him tight and cried in his neck, hysterically.....

"it's OK! just calm down,you're fine! I'm here, I'll never leave you! " he was cooing, in her ears....

She sobbed uncontrollably later calmed down in his embrace, but still she was hiccuping while quietly sobbing! he made her drink the water and she drank it with shaky hands...

"so you wanna talk about it? " he asked, softly with concern laying in his eyes....

She just kept looking at him blankly... "it's OK! you can tell me another time! " he said, smiling sadly...

Sure he was angry but he never wished to see her in pain! especially if it was something, related from the past!....

She stood up and went towards her walk-in closet and picked her diary and she handed it to him and he was stunned! because he didn't expected her to hand her personal diary...

He opened the diary and he saw the last written words.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some words has to be unsaid,
Some tale has to be untold;

Not everything can be un fold,
Some pieces had to be hidden,
So that some pains can get ridden,

So don't think you know every unknown;
Because everything is not meant to be shown;

Some are to be drown,
& those "legends" deserve a crown....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was stunned because his wifey is somewhat of a poet! who just put her thoughts in words and she knows how to create magic with words! he was left speechless,

Never in his dream, he thought that she'll be a pro in writing! he was quite impressed but he could sense the deep loneliness and sadness oozing through her choice of words.....

He was numb, because he could sense that how deep she was hurt and the only words which left his mouth, was "how? and why??".......

She remained silent and hung her head low, he neared her and cupped her face, she looked into his eyes, for the very first time! she didn't hide how broken she was! she expressed her state through her eyes! he was shocked, because she looked so miserable....

"never think that I'll let you down, you're my blessing remember that! no matter what you had gone through, I promise! we are together in this! " he said with a soft voice, that she melted instantly....

She hugged him tight and kept her face on his chest hearing his heartbeat and he was stroking her hair gently and she began to tell her about the past ....

Flashback!!

It was a bright day in Kuwait.....

"the deal is completed congrats Mr Omar Hannan! " the president of the moon star hotel, greeted him....

He was glad that his work was completed before time and surely he was missing his children, so much...

After reaching his suite, he was glad that his deal was accomplished and after seeing his wife, he twirled her in excitement!!...

"Laila I'm so happy today! we got the deal " he beamed with joy....

"Masha Allah! I'm so happy, congratulations! " she beamed with joy, for husband's happiness....

"probably my work is finished here, so we can head back to California. I'm sure they're missing us so much!" he said, remembering their precious gems...

"yeah I'm sure they'll be so surprised! " Laila said, excitedly...

He called his assistant, to tell the pilot to refuel the jet as they were leaving this evening and they packed their stuffs, then they head out towards the mall and they bought gifts for everyone, especially for their children and as per asfa's order her dad and mom picked her favorite perfume then they shopped toys for safwa and imad....

After their shopping, they checked out their suite and they reached the airport and I'm no time, they were in the air! it was quite a long flight, almost 16 hours till they reach California....

They were exhausted after such a tiring flight and they reached California in the evening, then Laila turned her mobile on! she saw 15 missed calls from asfa and she felt sorry for angering her, but she called her and she was not attending it, because she was angry at them....

Asfa was missing them so badly and she called them, but her parents were not answering her calls! she became quite angry and purposely she was ignoring their call....

Laila was tensed and Omar sensed that their little princess is angry and to cool her mood, they parked their car near an ice-cream shop and he picked her favorite flavor ice-cream and also for imad and safwa, he also bought their favorite chocolates...

Then he entered the car and Laila was happy as they were approaching towards their home, but the driver sped the car to dodged the approaching car so fast that they ended up colliding with the nearby bridge poll and the impact was so hard and the car was crushed brutally! that Laila mumbled her shadah before she was lifeless and the brutal impact made her heart stopped beating! since she was a cardiac patient and blood run down her nose and Omar was breathing hard, his head was severely injured! he had internal bleeding and seeing her love, lying lifeless! he cried in agony! then he breathed his last breath, mumbling his shadah with so much difficulty,then his soul left his body......

Unknown to what happened to their parents! asfa, safwa and imad were waiting for them as their grandpa had already broken the ice! that they are arriving today and instantly asfa regretted ignoring their call, she thought once they arrive, she'll ask their forgiveness....

But fate had other plans for them as soon as zauq Hannan received the call that his son & daughter in law died in an accident, his breath hitched! he couldn't believe that they're no more and he sat on the sofa with a thud....

"what happened grandpa why are you crying? " asfa asked, panicking....

"they're no more... " as soon as these words left his mouth, her world collapsed she laughed humorously ...

"you're joking right they just called me--" her grandpa hugged her tight and reality sink into her mind...

Safwa and imad were crying and she was frozen in her place, she felt like someone has ripped her heart from her body, she was numb but she embraced her sibling's tight in her arms....

She cried and cried until no tears were left....... But she became strong for them, she was slowly drowning into depression and seeing her depressed! her grandpa was so worried, but for him, safwa and imad she started acting like she was OK! she acted strong! but deep down she was sunken into depression and loneliness......

End of flashback!!

Humza was shocked, he felt like a bomb has been exploded on him! he still can't believe that, she has gone through this all her life alone! now he understands how she have felt....

He tightened his hold on her and her crying was getting louder, his own tears were unstoppable! he never ever thought that she's been through this....

"when I came to know that! they've stopped the car to get something for me! to cool me down, I was shocked! if I had received their call this would've been avoided! " she cried, in agony....

"if I have attended the call, I would've heard their voice for a last time but I was stubborn and didn't listened to them, I hate my stubbornness! it's all because of me! " she wailed, like a child....

"it's my fault Humza! my fault and for that, I'll never forgive myself! "she cried in hatred, towards herself....

He just listened to her silently, because he wanted her to lash out her emotions, so that she'll be free from her suffering thoughts.....

"I don't deserve to be happy! I don't deserve your love! I'm just nothing " she said, just above a whisper....

He cupped her face and wiped her tears "it's not your fault! it was al-qadr, it was destined to happen, we've to accept it! I know because I felt the guilt for my entire life! but you made me realize, then how can you blame yourself! " he asked, softly...

"you're not nothing! you're my wife! my precious angel! my best buddy! you're my everything asfa! you're my love of life! " he said with full of emotions, in his voice....

She looked vulnerable, she just looked at his eyes and said "no! I hurt you too, I pushed you away, because the person I love the most left me everytime, first grandma! then my mom dad and I don't think I can handle another heartbreak! if something happens to you! I'll die! " she said, cupping his face....

"no! you did what you thought was right and I should've known that you've been through something, yet I acted like a jerk! I'm sorry Pls forgive me! " he said kissing her palm, which was cupping his face...

"no! I'm sorry! you were always nice to me, you didn't do anything wrong, it's just me who destroys evryones happiness! " she said, with gritted teeth...

"listen to me carefully! you know what? we must forgive others if we want to be forgiven and Allah is almighty he forgives his servants and his mercy is bigger than anything but I ask you one thing! if you didn't forgive yourself then how you'll forgive others !" he asked....

"look at me asfa! we must forgive ourself, then only we can be better from what we were and change ourself for better! so that we will not do the same mistake and regret for our whole life! " he said, wiping her tears....

She was stunned, because what he said was true! she want to change herself for better, she don't want to be the old herself, then she should learn to let it go...

She looked at him like a lost child, his words pierced her heart "you didn't do anything, stop blaming yourself! it was a test from Allah and he promised us, indeed after hardship there is ease "he said, while a tear slipped from his eyes....

"but I don't deserve you! " she cried....

"yes! you don't deserve me! " he said, and she looked at him in shock...

"yes! because you deserve someone better, better than me! but you won't, coz you're mine! you deserve me and I deserve you! " he said, firmly....

"remember that incident for the last time and cry how much you wanna cry now! because I'm not going to allow you cry or ever think of that in future! " he said, kissing her forehead lovingly....

Tears were unstoppable for both of them, she cried in his embrace the everlasting pain and weight had been lifted off from her chest, it felt lighter now....

He looked at her, her face was flushed! her nose turned red! her eyes puffy! lips wobbly, she looked like a frozen queen! she looked like a broken child! he cupped her face and slowly captured her lips, it was a kiss full of emotions, like assuring her that he's here for her! pouring all his love in that kiss! she kissed him back, it was full of longing for her, she too poured all her emotions in that kiss and it was like he was her relief! it was slow and drugging, then he deepened the kiss after kissing her fully, they parted! their foreheads still intact and they were breathing

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